MacAesops Fables #25 – The Labourer and the Snake

Our twenty-fifth Sunday outpouring of sanctimony and self-righteous morality to be taken as seriously as the SNP’s commitment to the ‘recovery’ of drug addicts

Scots “didn’t mind the economic side [of Thatcherism] so much” said Sun King Alex some time ago. In fact Alex doesn’t mind cosying up to some of her best friends for the same reasons she did.

AN SNP SNAKE, having made his hole close to the seats of a parliament, inflicted a mortal bite on a Parliamentarian’s infant son. Grieving over his loss, the Father resolved to kill the SNP Snake.

The next day, when it came out of its hole for food, he took up his axe, but by swinging too hastily, missed its head and cut off only the end of its tail.

After some time the Parliamentarian, afraid that the Snake would bite him also, endeavoured to make peace, and placed some bread and salt in the hole.

The SNP Snake, slightly hissing, said: “There can henceforth be no peace between us; for whenever I see you I shall remember the loss of my tail, and whenever you see me you will be thinking of the death of your son.”

Analysis: Neo-fascist anti-Scots sentiment emanating from SNP types raised its ugly head again recently and put AhDinnaeKen into 1979 mode.

The moral of this tale is straightforward: “No one truly forgets injuries in the presence of those who caused the injury.”

When ex-SNP leader Gordon Wilson rallied his 11 “totally honest” SNP MP snakes (the orginal turkeys voting for Xmas) into the same lobby as the Tories in order to do their bit in 1979 for a brave new Thatcherite Britain, that was the strongest signal of the contempt the SNP have for the Scottish electorate.

Just because they wurnae gettin their parliament, they inflicted the ‘Poll Taxing milk snatcher’ on the rest of Britain for the sake of their perceived injury.

Laughably, Gordon Wilson believed the SNP would return 20 SNP MPs at the requisite election – they returned two!! Yo Ho Ho – Merry Xmas!

Now we have Alex Salmond cosying up to arch Thatcher ally Rupert Murdoch.

It’s worth remembering that Murdoch helped demonise the miners – the very men whose fathers and grandfathers kept this country’s industry supplied with energy against the Nazis.

Murdoch’s press aggressively supported the invasion of Iraq with Labour’s WMD lies.

Murdoch’s Wapping plant was supplied with a support line of Tory state sponsored police ready to break the heads of the printers legally picketing his plant.

And not forgetting that Murdoch’s press demonised the crushed and dieing at Hillsborough as ‘drunken’ rabble. Not even worth mentioning the ‘rotten to the core’ corruption exposed by Leveson.

Let no Nat or Cybernat tell you that Murdoch isn’t toxic. Those taking such a line are liars, cheats, hypocrites, narcissists and rogues. And that’s just their good points.

For more morally superior and vacuous posturing click on the Fable category to the right.

Just Say Yes (please) poster #12 – Scotland’s new media landscape

Fed up with the biased mainstream Unionist media and the biased Unionist funded BBC? Worry no further. Just vote Yes and we’ll all get the media we deserve in the Brave New World of Salmond.

It was the Son wot did it (and the Screws of the World).

Pro-Independence camp’s self delusion lead jumps 20 points

Self delusion is a necessity of happiness in any right thinking individual. A new poll out today points to the reason why so many Nationalists are inexplicably happy.

Sign seen outside referendum polling both for sake of the Nationalists

By Kannyseethe Widfur-Thetrees

PRO-INDEPENDENCE voters are becoming more self deluded according to the latest poll.

A recent snapshot by DNA GSTQ – taken after Andy Murray’s Wimbleflodden flop – puts those for independence 50% more in the pathological denial camp.

Twelve months ago, the gap was smaller due to rampant disaffection within the ranks of traditional Labouring supporters.

The latest poll will intensify the dilemma for anti-Midas touch Sun King Alex of Salmond.

Support for a Section 30 legal fight and Neverendum call-off due to ‘dummies of victimhood’ being spat oot o’ the pram now seems to be the most popular option among ‘right thinking’ Scots.

DNA GSTQ which conducted the face-to-face home interviews with 1000 cringing Scots asked two questions: “Are you too feart to face up to the real responsibilities of frrrrreeeeeeedddddoooommmmm™?” and “Do you like real-life courtroom dramas on the telly?”

On the 2nd question, the majority of Scots including the most severely self deluded, admitted that a guid constitutional court room drama could distract from the lost prize of independence.

These figures have added to the expectation that the Sun King will wrangle a default option of ‘victimhood’ in order to spare his egotistical blushes.

Kristopher Eeyore, Unionist demagogue and head of DNA GSTQ Scotland, said the pro-independence camp would remain set in concrete denial by the latest figures.

He said: “Braveheart Commandos, Keyboard Warriors, Polarised Cybernatterers and Frrrrreeeeeeedddddoooommmmm™ Fighters throughout Alba Dal Riata will completely ignore these figures as they have ignored all the evidence for the best part of the last century.

“Some people just cannae be telt!”

Just Say Yes (please) Poster #2

This post was meant to be something else, but something else came up, so instead I’m posting something else. Apologies.

By Dearthov Imagination

 

MacAesop’s Fables # 16 – Mercury and the Woodman

Our sixteenth Sunday outpouring of sanctimony and self-righteous morality to be taken as seriously as Sun King Salmond’s criminal interest in his hacked bank account.

Fascism should rightly be called Corporatism, as it is the merger of corporate and government power. – Benito Mussolini

A WORKMAN felling wood by the side of a river let his axe drop by accident into a deep pool.

Being thus deprived of the means of his livelihood, he sat down on the bank and lamented his hard fate.

Mercury appeared and demanded the cause of his tears. After he told him his misfortune, Mercury plunged into the stream and, bringing up a golden axe, inquired if that were the one he had lost.

On his saying that it was not his, Mercury disappeared beneath the water a second time, returned with a silver axe in his hand, and again asked the workman if it were his.

When the workman said it was not, he dived into the pool for the third time and brought up the axe that had been lost.

The workman claimed it and expressed his joy at its recovery.

Mercury, pleased with his honesty, gave him the golden and silver axes in addition to his own.

The workman on his return to his house, related to his companions all that had happened.

One of them at once resolved to try and secure the same good fortune for himself.

He ran to the river and threw his axe on purpose into the pool at the same place, and sat down on the bank to weep.

Mercury appeared to him just as he hoped he would; and having learned the cause of his grief, plunged into the stream and brought up a golden axe, inquiring if he had lost it.

The workman seized it greedily and declared that truly it was the very same axe that he had lost.

Mercury displeased at his knavery, not only took away the golden axe, but refused to recover for him the axe he had thrown into the pool.

Analysis: As we all know, Mercury is the messenger of the gods. Substitute the axe for ‘power’ and substitute the silver and gold axes for ‘Editor support’ and ‘Sun backing’ respectively and hopefully you get the gist. As George Orwell said “Nationalism is power hunger tempered by self-deception.” If ever there has been a more open display of self-deception with the Scottish Nationalists, it’s in the acceptance that the Leveson inquiry got Salmond off the hook regarding his relationship with Murdoch.

For more morally superior and vacuous posturing click on the Fable category to the right.

It is in truth for glory, for riches and power that we are fighting

Firstminster Sun King Alex of Salmond’s Declaration of Inralavyson is sooked up by the faithful everywhere.

All propaganda has to be popular and has to accommodate itself to the comprehension of the least intelligent of those whom it seeks to reach. So that’s the Nationalists appeased then.

By Plaida Blinder

SCOTLAND’S FIRSTMINSTER Sun King Alex of Salmond has claimed his bank account wheeze may have been sussed by everyone.

He said he believed a personal advisor at the Scottish Parliament viewed his account before the 1999 Big Cooncil elections.

He told the Inralavyson Witchhunt Media Trial: “My reason for believing that is that I was telt by a present employee.”

The Scottish National Party Messiah admitted that he still wisnae gonnae say if his phone was hacked.

It had been rumbled that the Sun King was prepared to shine Mr Murdoch’s shoes or anything else it took to gain the political favour of the Scum newspaper and other NewsBore media outlets.

He said it was “a pain in the arse” that he should only get to meet News Bore boss Goebbels Murdoch five times in five days.

He added: “I’m not in the same league as Tony Bliar or Bufty Broon or Damocles Cameron.”

Evil media insurrectionists Grauniad News & Meeja, publisher of the abhorrent Observation newspaper, said Mr Salmond bugged them aboot sumthin tae dae wi’ his parliamentary adviser last year.

It added: “Funny he did that a week after the Scum printed an opology to it by the Grauniad.”

Ex-Screws International boss Redwrecker Broke, 96, husband Aritecharlie, 34, and sixty seven other Screws International employees appeared before the Big Coort on Thursday accused of being injust hacking perverts.

We’re definitely in deep shit together Broke told PM

Secret blood pacts between media witches and political daemons prove that the worse the information it has, the worse democracy works.

The sinner will not confess, nor will the priest receive his confession, if the veil of secrecy is removed, said Witchfinder General Lord Inralavyson yesterday.

By Pactian Faust

EX-BREWS INTERNATIONAL witch Redwrecker Broke told the PM “culpably, we’re definitely in this together”, after she cast spells for his party’s election victory, the Inralavyson Witch Trial has heard.

Mrs Broke cast the runes for Damocles Cameron on the eve of his shamanistic visualisation quest with the 2009 Tory Party Coven.

But Spirit guide Cameron said evil necromancer Bufty Broon’s claims about satanic pacts with the Beast Murdoch “belonged in dream time.”

And he said his summoning of ex-Incubus of the World Daemon, Randy Coolson, had “haunted” him.

Randy Coolson became Cameron’s chief Daemon familiar after resigning from Hell following the condemnation and public burning of Royal idiot Clive Bad-Man for ‘phone divination’.

Blood Pacts

Conjuror Cameron said Bufty Broon’s claim – that the Tories agreed to attack the BBC Freedom Sanctuary in the name of Beast Murdoch – had been made because Broon’s pact had been broken.

Cameron added that the runes from Mrs Broke reflected that his new Blood Pact with the Beast was now in operation.

Mrs Broke said in one rune: “I am so rooting for you tomorrow, not just as a proud plotter but because culpably we’re definitely in this together.”

The rune also refers to how they shoud have a “consecration supper soon.”

Despite the pact, Prestidigitator Cameron said there had been “no nods and winks” with the Beast.

He said Prime Minister’s did enter into Faustian pacts with Daemons, Beasts and Witches from time to time, but “not very often.”

Campaigners march on Holyrood to highlight nationalism crime

Pasty faced Damocles Cameron is facing yet another sustained onslaught on his Etonian Posh Boy credentials.

Fascism should rightly be called Corporatism, as it is the merger of corporate and government power explained Goebbels Murdoch to The Right Honourable Sun King Alex of Salmond yesterday.

By Getinty Uhm

HUNDREDS OF anti-Nationalism campaigners have taken part in a march and rally to raise awareness of nationalism crime.

The event was organised by pensioner Margaret Thatcher whose 45-year-old adopted son Damocles Cameron was character assassinated in the centre of Holyrood nearly five minutes ago.

The campaigners are calling for tougher questioning of anyone convicted of an offence involving a nationalist insult.

The march began at Arthur’s Seat and ended with a rally in Joan McAlpine’s favourite subsidised canteen.

Organisers said several politicians who had lost seats to nationalist character assassination were among hundreds to attend.

In the wake of Damocles’s metaphorical murder, more than 20,000 top tax rate earners signed a petition in his memory.

It called for a review of the current attitude toward out of touch posh boys.

Damocles’s attacker was sentenced to 4 years as Firstminster.

Speaking about the rally in Holyrood, former Primeminster Mrs Thatcher said: “I’m sure I forgot what Meryl Streep had to say about this.

“I couldn’t care less, and even if I didn’t, I couldn’t care less.”

Justice Secretary Kenny MacNaeskill has said nothing of interest or intelligence regarding the incident, so no change of career path there.

A “Braveheart Commando intolerance crackdown on nationalist character assassination is of no importance to this poignant waste of time” said one campaigner.

A “zero intolerance” crackdown on character assassination in the Scottish Parliament came into force with the nationalist election in 2007.

Under new guidelines, anyone caught indulging in nationalist character assassination will be promoted to the front bench and face up to four course lunches with Chardonnay McAlpine for a wee white whine.

An initiative aimed at reducing adult debate was also launched in the Main Parliament and Parliamentary Committees.

The Nationalism Leads to Schism project uses online wizardry and youth indoctrination schemes, evasion activities and propaganda to encourage nationalist character assassination .

MacAesop’s Fables # 14 – The Wolf and the Shepherd

Our fourteenth Sunday outpouring of sanctimony and self-righteous morality to be taken as seriously as the Just Say Yes campaign’s Twitter support.

In politics you must always keep running with the pack. The moment that you falter and they sense that you are injured, the rest will turn on you like wolves said Sun King Alex of Salmond as he looked at Mike Russell and Alex Neil.

A WOLF followed a flock of sheep for a long time and did not attempt to injure one of them. The shepherd at first stood on his guard against him, as against an enemy, and kept a strict watch over his movements.

But when the Wolf, day after day, kept in the company of the sheep and did not make the slightest effort to seize them, the Shepherd began to look upon him as a guardian of his flock rather than as a plotter of evil against it; and when occasion called him one day into the city, he left the sheep entirely in his charge.

The Wolf, now that he had the opportunity, fell upon the sheep, and destroyed the greater part of the flock.

When the Shepherd returned to find his flock destroyed, he exclaimed: “I have been rightly served; why did I trust my sheep to a Wolf?”

Analysis:  He who does not trust enough, Will not be trusted said Lao Tzu before the Leveson inquiry and the spectre of certain embarrassing emails. Can you trust a party to run an independent country just because they’ve shown they know how to spend pocket money on vote winning headline catching institutions? That, as they say, will be resolved in 2014. The sooner, the better.

For more morally superior and vacuous posturing click on the Fable category to the right.

Osama Bin Laden backs independence for Scotland

Right Honourable Sun King Alex of Salmond welcomes support of influential dead Middle Eastern indpendence supporter .

Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity said Sun King Alex of Salmond as he proceeded to further screw his Just Say Yes (Please) Twitter followers.

By Phreed Uhmnow-Orelse

SCOTLAND’S MOST historic non-event in the history of historic non-events has been given a damp squib boost from an influential dead freedom fighter.

World famous offshore Scottish independence supporter Osama Bin Laden signed up to the Just Say Yes (Please) campaign recently giving it a much welcomed surgical strike in the arm.

Mr Bin Laden left a message on a pre-prepared Twitter message with an incendiary link to a ‘special’ site with secret freedom fighting campaign tips.

In it Mr Bin Laden stated that, like the Right Honourable Sun King Alex of Salmond, he too was ‘having problems’ with unruly republican types and anti-Nato supporters.

Suggestions included operative procedures such as covert assassination, jihad and cyberwarfare.

The Right Honourable Sun King Alex of Salmond, said that while he welcomed the tips, many of them were “already in place.”

He said: “While there is much to learn from the excellent organisational and implementation skills of Osama Bin Laden, it has to be said that in places he is not radical enough.”

Political opponents of the Right Honourable Sun King seized on his comments claiming that they had indeed rumbled his clandestine operation.

Leader of the Tory Party Truth Gotyason said: “My deputy leader, hundreds of non-affiliated bloggers, and all the political editors in Scotland were counted as backers for your ego driven vanity project.

“Some would say that one Privy Cooncillor’s ‘online wizardry’ was another Privy Cooncillor’s cyberwarfare.

“Which is it oh self righteous one?”

Labouring leader Fandabadozie Lament alluded to another of the Inter-Nationalist Terrorists fallbacks, the ‘communal hallucination’.

She said: “How dare he induce the delusion that the Scots can think for themselves.

“What next? Online intifada, or whit aboot a Unionist fatwa, or how’s about a Murdoch hura?

“There are more questions than answers surrounding this new found supporter for online independence.”

Official spokesperson for the SNP Wee Naebudy said: “Wan man’s terrorist is anither man’s freedom fighter.

“The SNP are an inclusive party. If the despicable Unionists want to play the moral superiority caird they can get it right up them.”

All the eejits are pointing to a ‘Yes’ vote

By Moan McVulpine on May 29, Whaur’s mah vino?

THE ‘JUST SAY YES’ campaign already has 10,000 reasons to be laughed at and it’s rising all the time. By the end of the weekend, 2500 volunteers will be crippled due to self-inflicted humour by-passes.

The non-event on Friday, with Alan Cumming, Brian Cox, Martin Compston and Elaine C Smith, was a wet fart that couldnae even go the whole hog of being considered a solid jobby.

The real work however will be done tedious cliche by tedious cliche.

The campaign website getitupye’s.net uses the techniques that helped Barack Obama go from unknown outsider to US presidential sellout. It’s a bit like a political Facegimmick that allows you to connect with other Braveheart Commandos and Cybernatterers.

You can upload your own propaganda, such as a short rant, saying why you don’t believe in the YES campaign .

Every time you recruit someone, or spread the word, you earn points – just like Tesco and Boots.

Top performers get a virtual pat on the heid each day. Disinterest, due to it being lunchtime, prevents me disclosing my own position.

The Unholy Alliance Pollsters keep crowing about support for independence being confined to the sentimenatilist population of Auld Alba.

That’s a no bad analyis of the situation and, with the campaign seeming to have been going on forever, a rock-solid lack of interest from two-thirds of the population is hardly surprising.

Research shows if 10 per cent of people don’t give a wholehearted  fig about a cause, the majority will eventually be bored to tears ‘n’ aw.

In the words of Victor Hugo: “A faith is a necessity to a man. Woe to him who believes in the Yes campaign being victorious.”

COMEDY RELIEF

Most historic day in the history of world history ever

Today, 25th May was the most historic day in the history of world history ever. AhDinnaeKen takes a look over the 2000 year plus long events of the 25th May which made this day a day which will be etched in the mindset of Braveheart Commandos, Polarised Militant Myopics, Cybernatterers, C U Jimmies and SNP Keyboard Warriors everywhere. The message of hope is expected to carry throughout the commonwealth of ‘right thinking’ Scots throughout the whole world – possibly even the whole universe. Certainly, it will resonate in Buchan and Banff

By Nonnie Vent – May 25, 11am, thoroughly underwhelmed

MAY 25, a massively momentous day in the history of massively momentous self determining days ever. Here are the lucky thirteen main massively momentous reasons for 25th May being so massively momentous and so massively momentous historically:

240 BC: First recorded perihelion passage of Hailey’s Comet. Widely predicted as the first omen of portent that SNP could win independence referendum in 2014.

1798 AD: United Irishmen Rebellion. The Carnew massacre, Dunlavin massacre and Carlow massacre takes place in order to pave way for Scottish referendum movement and the Just say Yes campaign 214 years later.

1809 AD: Chuquisaca Revolution: Group of patriots revolt against the Spanish Empire starting the South American Wars of Independence. Send message of solidarity – in a hermetically sealed time capsule – to Alex Salmond and his Just Say Yes campaign.

1810 AD: May revolution. Citizens of Buenos Aires expel Viceroy  Baltasar Hidalgo de Cisneros heralding the start of the Argentine War of Independence. Some citizens send diplomatic letter to United Kingdom asking it to lay off with the oppression of Scotland.

1837 AD: The Rebels of Lower Canada (Quebec) rebel against the British for Freeeeeeddddddooooooommm!!. Leading rebel Wolfred Nelson offers the precursor  of the Scottish National Party a chance at forming a pseudo Auld Alliance for continuous neverendums.

1914 AD: The Unionist House of Commons passes the Home Rule Act for devolution in Ireland. Scottish Nationalists start to get some wee Big Ideas, but decide that the Scottish Constitutional Convention is ‘up to no good’.

1953 AD: Nuclear testing: United States conduct their first and only nuclear artillery test in Nevada. Military concludes that it should base Trident in Faslane instead in order to wind up Scottish Nationalists.

1961 AD: President John F Kennedy announces plans to “put a man on the Moon” before the end of the decade. UK Labour party say there’s as much chance of that happening as Alex Salmond getting into bed with Rupert Murdoch.

1966 AD: The first prominent daziabao during the Cultural Revolution in China is posted at Peking University. It says: “Good luck with the independence launch Alex.”

1967 AD: Celtic FC from Glasgow, Scotland, become the first ever ‘British’ team to win the European Cup. Alex Salmond laments not being able to hold referendum in the glorious days of genuflection

1997 AD: A military coup in Sierra Leone replaces President Ahmad Tejan  Kabbah with Major Johnny Paul Koromah. The victor sends email of support to Alex Salmond: “Good luck with the subterfuging of Devolution.” it says.

2000 AD: Liberation Day of Lebanon: Unionist Israel withdraws its forces from most of the Lebanese territory. Alex Salmond feels suitably encouraged for 2003 election at Holyrood.

 2011 AD: Oprah Winfrey airs her last show, ending her 25 year run of The Oprah Winfrey Show. Her last words on television are: “Hope those suckers vote for your vanity project Alex.”

2012 AD: Sun King Alex of Salmond launches new movie “Alex in Wonderland: The Declaration of Cinemaplex Seven”.

Despite cramming the cinema with cronies, SNP drones, hingers oan, lottery winners, luvvie actors and rebel politicos, hardly anyone notices.

Greece and Spain still remain major threats to the core of neo-Liberal economic philosophy. Greece and Spain still represent the plunging of the world into major peace threatening depression.

Keen observers may have noted that the neverendum hasn’t actually lasted for more than 2000 years, it’s just that’s how long it feels. Ho hum, back to the weather.