Nicola’s supersized beacon sandwich

Nicola Conference Speech

“We have no hope of winning independence just now” said Nicola to conference, “so tell the zoomers to tone it down a bit eh!”

By Yewvbin Telt – First Minister speech analyst and biographer

NICOLA STURGEON has called for “beacons and belief” from fellow Nationalists in her SNP conference “speech devoid of hope”

The First Minister said she was “more confident than ever” that she wouldn’t be calling an independence referendum while she remained in power.

She added that members must “wait like kids wait for Santa” and work to win over the rest of the party into doing nothing, just like her.

Ms Sturgeon also announced new policies on evading the subject of independence, not listening to activists, and ignoring inconvenient democratic votes.

The first minister was in fast spin mode on the final day of the SNP’s three-day conference of #HopeNoIndyHappensHere2018.

She used her speech to hit out at “indy believers” and “AOUB” for reminding people that she was doing “hee haw bugger aw” for the “cause”.

The SNP leader kicked off the conference by announcing that there was no “hope” for an Independence referendum before 2021.

But she offered “hope” for those interested in “beacons” when she described Scotland as “a beacon of progressive values.

“We have lit so many “progressive” beacons for the world that we can afford to make beacon sandwiches for the planet.

“We will be a beacon for beacon sandwiches.”

She admitted that people demanding Independence were a “serious problem” for her party and she would do more to get rid of them.

“Ask Alex Salmond what happens.” she half joked.

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Filed under IndyRef 2, Referendum, SNP, Treachery

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