Category Archives: Children

Children to shop their parents to the Nationalists

WE* used to worry about reds under the bed. Then it was Nats watching your flats. Now kids are to be the eyes and ears of the state. AhDinnaeKen investigates the latest Nationalist intrusion into everyday Scots lives:

"If you tolerate this then your children will be next" sang the Manic Street Preachers. Looks like we tolerated it then.

“If you tolerate this then your children will be next” sang the Manic Street Preachers. Looks like we tolerated it then.

By Kreepy Asphuck-Stasi

CHILDREN ARE set to become the eyes and ears of the Nationalist party today.

Parents found to be out of line with the expectations of their country can expect their kids to shop them in to the authorities.

Get It Right F**kin Upye’s Clansmen (GIRFUC) was voted through by the Wee Stasi Cooncil at Whollyrude yesterday.

Both the nanny Labouring party and the centralising Nationalists embraced the population control measures.

One Nat could not contain his glee at the potential for keeping uppity parents in their place.

He said: “This is a fantastic protection for children. If we find out, for example, that a parent has a hankering for Unionism or Devolution-Max or Federalism or voting Tory then that obviously leaves the child vulnerable to imperialistic subjugating oppression.

“This could damage the child for the rest of their lives and no responsible government could tolerate that.

“We will immediately remove the child from the danger and place them in the hands of one of our protective correction centres.

“And we can keep them until they’re 21. Result!”

The only opposition to the socially just legislation were the usual crackpots, nutjobs and lunatics – the Tory party.

They even had the impudence to suggest that the bill may be in breach of the European Convention on Human Rights

Dizzy Lizzy Smith of the tenaciously terrible Tories said: “This will tip the balance of family responsibility away from parents towards the state – something most Nationalists find completely acceptable.”

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Filed under Children, Law, New Bills

That Wiz the Week that Wiznae #4

A sharp lesson in basic blogging for AhDinnaeKen this week – a lesson which might result in less posts due to increased time taken in preparation and the possible disappearance of the site altogether. Ho hum! They may take my time, they may take my money, but they’ll never take my ffrreeddoomm™!!

"Whollyrude is geared toward teenage idiocy." - Sam Shepherd.

“Whollyrude is geared toward teenage idiocy.” – Longshanker.

By Longshanker

Monday June 10: Roary Bremner discovers that in pre-Neverendum Skintland ‘we do humour differently here’.

Roary concluded that the Skintish plasticine parliament is foo' o' tumshies and cabbages.

Roary concluded that the Skintish plasticine parliament is foo’ o’ tumshies and cabbages.

COMIC SATIRIST Roary Bremner tells the Daily Ranger that most Skint voters can name six vegetables but only two MSPs.

AhDinnaeKen asks, how do you tell the difference?

The comedian also noted that the usual rules of comedy satire engagement don’t appear to apply in planet Skintland either.

Make a joke about a politician in England or rUK, it’s taken as fair game. Make a joke about a SNP politician in Skintland and ‘yer talkin’ yer country doon’.

Most telling for the Nats is the perception that, as Bremner’s later documentary mostly proved, the Neverendum is generally viewed as a one man band vanity project, even within the confines of Edinborrow’s population itself.

Sun King Salmond may be the most recognised and recognisable politician in Skintland, but the rest of his MSPs and entourage barely register with anything more than the strength of a silent fart on the richter scale.

Ho hum Roary! Tell us something we don’t know already – farty pants.

Summed Up: As the viewing of the later TV programme revealed, Roary Bremner can find comedy gold anywhere, but it was distinctly lean fare that emerged fae his visit tae the Athens o’ the North for the Edinborrow born comedian.

Tuesday June 11: Pension Union mooted by Sturgeon for ‘Independence within the United Kingdom’ remit.

Johann Lamont asks the SNP to point out the guy whose job Sturgeon is now doing.

Johann Lamont asks the SNP to point out the guy whose job Sturgeon is now doing.

AhdinnaeKen goes into Gerry Hussar mode over the announcement that a post independence Skintland will share administration of pensions, DWP payments etc with the basturt English.

Despite it being perceived as a confession that pensions will likely fail  under independent conditions, AhDinnaeKen’s concern lies wi’ the tumshie in charge o’ breaking the news and fielding the inevitable mockery – Deputy Miss Leader Sturgeon.

It seems that there is no beginning of endings to her talents. Not only is she entrusted with Piggy Eyed Patsy Alex Kneel’s Infrastructure remit, she’s also in charge of governmental strategy and constitutional issues, pantsonfire fighting and now, following the Independence within the UK pension declaration, has to deal with John Swindley’s Financial backstabbing remit also.

Phew! Whenever the guys mess up, ye kin trust the women tae take care o’ business. Or can ye?

Summed Up: There’s a proverb aboot eggs and baskets and whit you shid dae with they eggs. Sun King Salmond should beware. Following the latest pensions pronouncement and consequent shaky defence, Deputy Miss Leader Sturgeon is looking increasingly like an overstacked basket case.

Wednesday June 12: Legal issues and profitless blogs – a warning

The new look AhDinnaeKen. If we* can afford to stay open.

The new look AhDinnaeKen. If we* can afford to stay open.

AhDinnaeKen gets hit with a behind the scenes claim which, depending on the outcome may see us have to close AhdinnaeKen’s pages forever. It’s oor ain fawt and pairt o’ the reason for the negligence is to do with a dangerous combination of idiocy and ignorance.

We* immediately Dealt with one part of the request but seek verification for others. We*’d like to keep the blog going, but if it has to close, ho hum, we*’ll start another more compliant but just as cheeky site.

Summed up: The person who contacted us is entirely correct and we only hope that a sense of fairness will prevail after a few other details are ironed oot.

Thursday June 13: “My God! You’re more dangerous than I thought!” BBC Question Time.

Narrow ethnic Nationalist  gets a sharp lesson in broadcasting from a professional British Brainwasher.

Narrow ethnic Nationalist gets a sharp lesson in broadcasting from a professional British Brainwasher.

Allegedly objective journalist, Lesley Pibroch, shows her true colours when narrow Nationalist chip on shooderdom shows its ugly face on the British Brainwashing Corporation’s Question Time.

Furst strike nuclear umbrella SNP attack poodle, Angus Robberson, claims a lack of “parity” on the show. He chides the BBC for its imbalance claiming that in a fully ‘levered’ Skintland, Nationalists would not be “mucked around” in such a fashion. Ooer!

Dimblebot put Robberson in his place, slapping him doon like a petulant wean who huz tae wait his turn at the tuckshop queue – reminding him sharply that poncey politicians do not set the agenda of the imperialistic and biased BBC.

Gorgeous George Galloway chipped in with a suitably sanctimonious, and substantially correct indefatigably democratic point of principle that “all of us have the right to speak” no matter oor nationality.

Pibroch overrode the Gorgeous one claiming that that “was not the point”, the UKIPPERs had only achieved 0.28 percent support in Skintland and therefore had no right to be on a Skintish based Question Time.

AhdinnaaeKen asked, ‘Who the f**k are these people?’ Making Gorgeous George sound like the voice of reason; FFS, get a grip Lesley.

Later, Nigel Farago hit the nail squarely on the heid. Sitting beside Pibroch, following her tirade in support of Robberson’s censorious assertions, he said:  “My God. You’re more dangerous than I thought.”

Summed Up: Question Time is a national television programme, not a narrow ethnically defined Nationalist television programme. Long may that continue.

Friday June 14: Kenny Gibbon – Still Game fir a laff

Some Nationalists need to get a sense of perspective implant. Ye couldnae make this stuff up.

Some Nationalists need to get a sense of perspective implant. Ye couldnae make this stuff up.

Winston fae ‘Still Game’ soundalike, vegetable and MSP, Kenny Gibbon, tries tae grab a piece o’ the grievance, paranoia and chip on the shooder Question Time action – tae show how much o’ ah full on patriotic ethno-Nationalist he well and truly isnae.

Sitting on the kludgie, he passes the following motion:

“That the Plasticine Parliament notes with glee BBC Question Time’s approach to Skintland; that in its occasional forays into Skintland, the programme should try and forget that Skintish Neverendum style grievance confirmation politics bores English, Welsh, Northern Irish and Skintish viewers to death. That having the Greengoes and Lib-Bents on board would make the programme eminently more worthy and about as entertaining as a yummy mummy going on and on about her little baby’s bowel movements.”

His motion, recorded in the Skintish Nationalist Party website, reads like the meanderings of a blind and deaf aspergers sufferer with learning difficulties – minus the clarity and insight.

Summed Up: As the real Winston fae Still Game might say tae his MSP vegetable Winston soundalike: “Get it right up ye – arsehole!”

Saturday June 15: Celtic brotherhood? Think again Skintland

O wad some Pow'r the giftie gie us. To see oursels as ithers see us!

O wad some Pow’r the giftie gie us.
To see oursels as ithers see us!

An insightful Irish Times piece, written by Paul Gillespie, gives a sharp reminder of the potential rUK/Irish repercussions after a break up of these sceptered isles.

A telling second last paragraph considers some of the logical follow on consequences of a struggling rUK coming to terms with its new Skintlandless identity: unification of Northern and Southern Ireland would be put on the agenda, England would be more likely to go it alone by ditching Wales and Northern Ireland and the whole of the region would become that little bit more unstable resulting in who knows what.

The piece implies that the Irish Republic could be the dog snapping at the Skints heels in order to attract inward investment and the elephant in the room would always be an injured England seeking ways to reassert its severely damaged sense of identity and purpose – a dangerous period for any heavily militarised country.

Summed Up: As the McCrone report clearly states: It’s difficult to imagine an England without access to oil revenues ending up in ‘dire financial straits’. Would you really want to force that on them when the world stands on the brink of a deadly Middle Eastern war?

Sunday June 16: It’s not really a Sunday story, but Ho Hum, it made us laugh 🙂

TWTWTW 16 Jun 05 Euan Wanker Name

Euan McColm evokes a multitude of reactions from the Twitterati and newspaper reading publics alike – not all of them good.

He can always be relied upon to say something outrageously funny, insightful or morally reprehensible – quite often all three.

As we* saw this on Sunday, we decided to stick it here.

Summed Up: We* love shameless self-publicist talk.

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Filed under Children, CyberNats, Opinion

Klan Alba Nationalists heartened by ethno-Croatian support

Skintish Klan Nationalists were heartened today by the fitba banner support displayed by ethnically cleansed ultra-Nationalist Croatian fans. AhDinnaeKen asks, is this the kind of morally repugnant backing the Klan Alba Nationalists should be happy about?

"Nationalist Politics websites are usually the expression of human immaturity." - Vera Britain.

“Nationalist Politics at the fitba is usually the expression of human immaturity.” – Vera Britain. In this case, it’s much more sinister than that.

By Jen O’ Syde

NATIONALIST SUPREMACIST cybernats took ‘positive’ encouragement from Croatian Nationalist fitba fan support last night.

The pro-ethnic cleansing Croat fans want Skintland to achieve Independence within the United States of Germany – just like Croatia did in 1941 and 1992.

With Weimar Republic recognition secured in 92, ex-Hitler Youth Chancer, Helmut Kohl, insisted that looting, illegal procurement of Serbian property, expulsion, torture, random murder and genocide, was the best way for Croatians to achieve “grown up” socially just independence.

And those same Croatian fitba brothers in arms to the Skints, stood in the shape of a swastika in 2006 in a so called friendly fitba match against Italy. Lovely!

Also worth noting was the formation of the letter ‘U’ by Croatian fans in Bosnia in 2007 to show their support for the ultra Croatian Nationalist Ustaše movement.

The Ustase symbol on the Croatian flag during a match against Turkey in 2008

The Ustase symbol on the Croatian flag during a match against Turkey in 2008

The Ustaše were responsible for the torture, mutilation, murder, annihilation and genocide of Serbians, Romanis and Jews alike during World War II. They still operate today.

What’s more, the German and Croatian football federations were fined in 2012 for their fans singing songs associated with Nazism and the wearing of Nazi symbols

So, it came as no surprise tae AhDinnaeKen that the likes of anti-transparency corporation tax vote abstainer, Alyn Smith MEP, should welcome the support of such people.

In a tweet earlier today he said something civically positive about his fellow Croatian MEPs which cannot be quoted here because the tweet has since been deleted.

Nationalist supremacist website, Wangs Over Skintland, used the Croatian incident as another excuse to ‘positively’ denigrate Skints who, unlike its editor, actually live, vote and work here.

According to the non-domiciled ahem, ‘professional journalist’, Skints were given a lesson in “self respect” by the independent ethnic-cleansing supporting Croatia fans.

With people like Wangs and the Wangers on the Nationalist side, they don’t need enemies.

The above comment comes from someone who doesn't even have the guts to live in Scotland. Now that's what I call ahem, 'professional journalism'.

The above comment, in relation to the Croatian fans, comes from someone who doesn’t even have the guts to live in Scotland. Now that’s what I call ahem, ‘professional journalism’.


Filed under Children, Morality, Opinion, Wangs Watch

People feel older under SNP government

Doing things differently, being progressed and being bombarded with the most accurate answers ever given in parliament, has resulted in the Scottish population feeling twice as old as they actually are.

"This change to the parliamentary record is as accurate a lie as anyone has ever given to parliament" laughed Swindley as he helped stick the knife in Rust-ell's and Tricky Dicky Salmond's back.

The SNP react to the news that Labour supporters die every day.

By Dec Repitt

SCOTTISH CITIZENS feel older than any population in the world, last year’s census results reveal.

And it’s all thanks to the SNP government who have made the past 5 years feel like 500.

The survey showed people over the age of 30 now feel they are at least 60 years old thanks to having to listen to Wee Eck’s inclusive chuckle.

That compares to 40 and 50 year olds who are demonstrating symptoms similar to senility, alzheimers, frailty and passive inactivity.

The prospect of a Neverendum timebomb emerged as political pundits began sinking their ‘bookie’ money into a humiliating result for Tricky Dicky Salmond in the Autumn of 2014.

Acting Registrar Major Audrey Robberson said: “The symptoms are mostly due to the monotonous drone emanating from Whollyrude that Westminster is bad SNP good.

“You might have initially agreed with it, but after a while it becomes boring and then its relentlessness starts making you feel terminally old.”

The census also showed that since 2007 in Scotland there are nearly eight times as many people now feeling over the age of 80.

Decrepit decaying venerable antiquated SNP spokesperson Wee Naebudy said: “We hope to have bored the age groups most likely to vote No to death by 2014.

“Like everything we do, it’s a bit desperate and made up on the hoof, but hey when you’re stuck in a corner with nowhere to run, you have to do something.”

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Filed under Children, Culture, Morality

Cybernat White Noise #3 The unaccountably false assertions of SNP MSP Christina McKelvie

AhDinnaeKen receives an eye opening lesson that it’s not only Cybernats who make wild and risible assertions without evidence. Witness our Twitter conversation with Christine McKelvie, MSP for the constituency of Hamilton.

“Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in SNP campaigning, it’s a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope.” ― Dr. Seuss. Looks like Christina’s got the Nationalist agenda by the short and curlies then.

“Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in SNP campaigning, it’s a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope.” ― Dr. Seuss. Looks like Christina’s got the Nationalist agenda by the short and curlies then.

By Ergasiophobe

JUST A quick wee bloga/boreathon to highlight on a micro-scale the substanceless assertions and hypocrisy the SNP think they can casually get away with.

In this instance we have Christina McKelvie MSP who represents the people of the allegedly “iconic seat” of Hamilton.

The original Fairy Godmother of the SNP electability and protest vote, Winifred Ewing, was elected here in 1967 making it a Nationalist spiritual fantasy homeland.

It is AhDinnaeKen’s view, in line with predicated SNP mythology, that any SNP politician elected for this seat – even if  only for the Big Parish Cooncil at Hollyrood – has to be a totem of SNP ideals.

Sadly, Christina McKelvie MSP falls short on the most basic of fronts – one of them being democratic accountability.

The Tweets highlighted on this page, while minor and petty in the grander scale of things, represent two important principles by which SNP politicians can be judged.

Consider the first Tweet here:

Christina 00
The link provided by Ergasiophobe takes Christina to AdDinnaeKen’s Open Letter to Roseanna Cunningham written earlier this year.

Now, consider this:

Christina 01 01
AhDinnaeKen concedes that retweeting of another individual’s Tweets does not necessarily mean endorsement.

However, it ill behoves any Scottish politician willing to be seen retweeting the writings hosted by “Ultimate Cybernat” site Wings Over Scotland. The original piece is actually hosted on Eric ‘Heidsinker’ Joyce’s website.

Why the retweet of Wings if it isn’t an endorsement? Why not provide the link to the original site?

To AhDinnaeKen it reeks of desperation incarnate. Eric Joyce is a thoroughly discredited and disgraceful expenses freeloader masquerading as an MP – she’ll be retweeting MSP Bill Walker’s writings on domestic harmony policy next, presumably also hosted by Wings.

Onyhoo. The next Tweet provides AhDinnaeKen’s bone of contention with the elected and allegedly accountable to the electorate MSP, Christina McKelvie:

Christina 01 01 01
Did you see that? Not only is Christina relying on the tedious Firstminster style Tu Quoque (you an’ aw) fallacy as a defense/attack strategy, she is also asserting that there are “hate filled” tweets to be found on the Ergasiophobe timeline.

AhDinnaeKen challenged/challenges Christina, or anyone else for that matter, to find a “hate filled” tweet on the whole timeline.

Christina 02
We* accept that our* blogs are “hate blinded idiocy” but, to all but the most tedious, cretinous or oxy-moronic Nationalist oriented type, there is an obvious deprecating irony to be detected here.

As for Christina, after her last tweet using an evasive ad hominem attack re the #boring hashtag, she decided to take the time to block Ergasiophobe.

After all, providing evidence for her outrageous unsubstantiated attack was obviously too much for her – just like many of her SNP compatriots at Hollyrude when conducting themselves in day to day parliamentary business.

I suppose that’s what’s called closing down the debate. AhDinnaeKen voted for Christina at the last Scottish elections in May 2011.

Christina is paid £53,091 per annum not including expenses and a variety of other allowances in order to be accountable to the electorate ie. the people who actually put her where she is now.

Yet, after having accused one of her constituents of a “hate filled” timeline, she can’t even produce a single alleged Tweet because it’s #boring. Not #boring enough to be asserted mind you, but #boring enough to remain unsubstantiated despite a reasonable request.

At best such behaviour is unbecoming, at worst it’s a fraudulent liberty taking exercise in conflict with the Code of Conduct for MSPs:

Christina 04

The following is taken from the Scottish Parliament website and covers the code of conduct by which MSPs are expected to conduct themselves.

Accountability and openness

3.1.9 Members are accountable for their decisions and actions to the Scottish people. They should consider issues on their merits, taking account of the views of others.

3.1.10 Members should be as open as possible about their decisions and actions.

Christina took the decision to retweet Wings Over Scotland and put that decision into action. She then partially took into account the view of Ergasiophobe until she decided she should take the action of impugning him as “hate filled” and ‘#boring.

Rather than provide evidence to back up her unjustified accusation she then chose to block Ergasiophobe.

The Longershanker account was then used to ask MSP Christina why she had blocked Ergasiophobe.

Do you think the Longershanker tweet was replied to? Do you think Christina McKelvie MSP acted in an accountable manner as per the MSPs Code of Conduct? Answers on a SNP Freedom of Information request form please.


Filed under Children, CyberNats, Morality, Opinion, Wangs Watch

Education secretary still main threat to Firstminster’s credibility

If barefaced lying doesn’t lead to the downfall of the Firstminster – keeping his innumerate bullying Education secretary will. AhDinnaeKen proposes an early toast to Mike Bernhard Rust-ell. Whollyrude’s creepiest Education liability.

“I think the issue is, did I make a mistake? Yes I did. Did I apologise for that mistake? Yes I did. Does it mean I’ve undermined the Big Cooncil? Yes it does. Does it mean that Salmond’s weakened and Swindley’s strengthened? Yes it does. Will it harm the Neverendum’s chances in 2014? Yes it will.” – Mike Bernhard Rust-ell.

By Getty Phuckthenoo

THE EDUCATION minster aspect of the Big Whollyrude Cooncil is still more problematic than any barefaced lying problem, it has been admitted.

As the Scottish National Party attempted to rewrite the past four weeks of lies, innumerate lies and barefaced lies, the sovereign people of Scotland agreed that holding on to the Education minster was doing the government much more damage.

Mother-of-two Morag MacHavers said: “I can’t believe that, in this progressive and inclusive age, Scotland would appoint an Education secretary who cannae even count.

“It’s out of order. Especially when there are other career options like bullying schoolkids, selling them fags oot o’ the van and smearing mother’s in the papers.

“There are still other things he can do like write a hundred lines – ‘I must not get caught lying in parliament‘.”

Meanwhile, Whollyrude insiders admitted the Scottish Government has been found to be “out of order” and is not willing to apologise again despite a recent outbreak of apologies in the chamber.

Whollyrude Candy, editor of Whollyrude Magaazine, said: “What we can’t understand is that pantomine season isn’t due until next month.

“Yet, yesterday’s performance by arch-villain Tricky Dicky Salmond was still ‘more of the same’:

“Don’t answer the question, reply “you did it an’ aw” and then sermonise on the Holy Grail attributes of an independent Scotland.

“It’s everyday Westminster styled plum duffery really. Ho hum to more of the same!”


Filed under Children, Education, Morality

Indy Rally – Those figures in full

Who do you believe in the Independence Propaganda War? The Indy Rally Marchers and Pro-Independinistas? The Police? The British Brainwashing Corporation? The Unionists? The Yes Campaign? The Better Together Cabal? AhDinnaeKen takes a look and has to admit – It Disnae Ken.

Boris got a cheer for disgraced Security outsourcer G4S, Sun King Alex got a cheer for Jakey Apartheid minimum alcohol pricing. Rumour has it Alex had a wager on which crowd of Nationalists was most gullible.

By Weemanz Hubris

DESPITE SOME of the more embarrassing claims made by the pro-Indpendinistas regarding Saturday’s Independence Ramble/Rally/Pilgrimage/Temperance March, no one can deny that some people did turn up.

AhDinnaeKen admits that it was by no account humiliating for the Independinistas – just mildly humiliating. Ho ho hum! The Scots can put up with that. We’re used to it by now. Surely!

Consider the following figures for the sake of some perspective:

Police Estimate: 5,000

Yes Estimate: 12,500 – 15,000

Probable: 7,000 max

Here’s how these figures fit in with other figures – so go figure:

584 – Number of drug related deaths in Scotland last year. Put in perspective that’s around one in ten marchers in Edinborrow yesterday. Just think, if you were on the march you might have been talking to someone who will be deid by this time next year.

5,524 – Average St Johnstone football team attendance this season. Given that a regularly heard chant aimed at home fans by the visitors is “What a sh**ey home support.”, what does that tell you about the sovereign people of Scotland making their pilgrimage to see Moses Salmond.

10,000 – Estimated attendance at Snow Patrol gig at Bellahouston Park Glasgone in June 2010. Given that their music is alright but hardly sets the heather on fire, contrast and compare with the highest figure suggested for a Nation’s Destiny.

20,000 – Number of marchers showing solidarity with workers at the doomed Kilmarnock Johnnie Walker plant when Diageo forever severed the link between their product and Kilmarnock’s heritage. A real march and not just a ‘nice’ part-time shopping/drinking trip to Edinborrow.

26,600 – Average daily footfall through Marks & Spencer in Princes Street on any given day in June 2012. Puts into perspective the difference between the drive to determine a Nation’s destiny and the drive to determine between a microwaveable lasagne or tagliatelle.

49,118 – Official numbers attending a Scottish Third Division football match between East Stirling and the Rangers. At best this is more than five times the number attending Scotland’s Destiny Rally, at worst it’s ten times more and realistically it’s an embarrassingly humiliating seven times more. So much for the national groundswell seeking independence from oppressive subjugation.

Of coorse, AhDinnaeKen disnae mean to mock too much, but muny a marcher disnae mak a mukel. Maybe the organisers should go homeward tae think again.


Filed under Children, Culture, CyberNats, Opinion, Referendum

Ultimate Cybernat Rev Stu – Ultimately humiliated

Avoiding humiliation is the core of tragedy and comedy. Check out this fantastically comedic twitter thread where a ‘Wee man’ with a huge ego doesnt manage to avoid humiliation by the ‘big boys’. Y’know, the ones who actually know how to do journalism and media in a ‘professional’ capacity. What a tragedy for the Cybernats that their self appointed ‘thorn’ in the side of the Unionists should be so easily slapped down with such minimalist effort.

“With publicity comes humiliation.”  – Tama Janowitz said. Add to that a polite guffaw from the few who have been routinely humiliated by this Rev Stu buffoon fellow; he who doesn’t even know his own professed subject. More to be pitied than scolded I suppose. Bless!

By Ahlaftyah Pishtmasell

A FELLOW Tweeter tweeted to AhDinnaeKen’s Twitter feed last night that he thought Wings Over Scotland was beyond parody.

Here’s the hilariously humiliating prophetic proof of the pudding. Enjoy.

Statement on Wings Over Scotland blog site on its Raison d’être:

“Wings Over Scotland is a (mainly) Scottish political media digest and monitor, which also offers its own commentary.”

Kind of raises the question: Is it? Is it really? Is it really a ‘monitor’? What is a monitor then?

Just a wee reminder – once more for laughs – of the ultimate level that ‘Ultimate Cybernats’ reach:
Wings Over Scotland: “Wasn’t previously aware the Times published a separate Scottish edition.”

Angus Macleod (Sunday Times): “Only for the past 14 years.”

David Leask (Proper professional journalist): “If you’ve set yourself up to “monitor” Scots media, Wings, it might be worth familiarising yourself with it?

Spot the minimal and devastating use of real ‘professional’ journalistic language. Here’s to more of the same over the next couple of years. Cheers Rev Stu, otherways known as Rev Coco the Ultimate Cybernat Clown.


Filed under Children, Media, Wangs Watch

Age is a very high price to pay for maturity say SNP underage drinking voters

Are Salmond and Sturgeon trying to make Scotland safe for hypocrisy by lowering the voting age below the legal smoking and drinking age?

Oh for the days when you were allowed to do what you wanted

No taxation without representation said Humza Yumza to this little boy shortly before he left to vote at the Glesca cooncil elections.

By Geeza Fag

THE LEGAL age for voting in referendums is to be lowered from 18 to 16 whenever the SNP get the chance to benefit from it.

SNP Drone MSPs unanimously back a change in the law following a poll which shows 16-17 year olds support independence within a prohibition joyless, alcohol free, smoke free, thought crime free Scotland.

The move attracted Nationalist support within the Bloodyrude Cooncil and is hoped to be implemented within the next two thousand hours.

However, concerns have been raised that the move may only be temporary due to a deep distrust of the age group by the SNP.

Minister for Self Righteous Nannying, Auld Nick Sturgeon, told members that a person who started voting at the age of 16 only did so because they could not legally drink or smoke.

The legal age for voting was set prior to the implementation of Twitter and Facebook, long before opinions could be manipulated by ‘internet wizardry’ politicians.

Ms Auld Nick is due to present a number of proposals later in the year.

People in Scotland are twice as likely to die from political boredom than anywhere else within the Union.

The Self Righteous Minister said nothing had yet been ruled in or out of the government’s attempt to curb problem voting.

She said: “We all know that Scotland as a nation has a voting problem and the implications of this are very serious – not least for the SNP referendum.

“The Scottish Government is currently in the process of developing a long-term voting strategy and as part of this we have been looking at a range of positive issues including maturity, naivety and judgement.


Filed under Children, Morality, Referendum

Whit They Said

Prominent Scottish Figures Give Their Verdict On The Contempt Shown By Moan McVulpine For Parliament And The Sovereign People Of Scotland

There’s a real and present difference between you and me Venisonshanks. You think the people of this country exist to provide you with position. I think your position exists to provide those people with freedom. And I go to make sure that they have it. You’re wan o’ they bourgeoisie anti-Scots shortbread heids that disnae gie a toss aboot the people. FREEDOM!!!!


How daur you mark my coronation ascension anniversary in such a cheap and tawdry fashione. Like me, your ‘plunkin’ it will be  regarded with condescension by historians, who will emphasise your triviality and extravagance. Thou hast brought it on thy own heid lassie. May hell mend ye.


Like thou dearest lassie, I but exercised my Divine Right of Kings in my cosseted life of privilege. Like thou, Scotland was but my backdrop to gaining power. Like thou,  I suffered grievous harme and humiliation. Unlike thou, I doubt there will be anyone singing “Will ye know come back again” however.


Now Wee Eck hangs her mantle green. On every bloomin table. And spreads her loins of venison steam. With which to create a fable. Now Strathdon Blue she does imbue. With bourgeoisie vain contempt. The Parliament she likes to screw. And laugh at Johann Lament. One question though is why indeed was she so vainly hired. Once again it’s Wee Eck’s haun which will save her from being fired.


For, as long as but a hundred of us remain alive, never will we on any conditions be brought under Presiding Officer rule. It is in truth not for glory, nor riches, nor honours that we are fighting, but for lunch – for that alone, which no dishonest woman gives up but with life itself.’


There is something that Governments care for far more than human life, and that is the security of lunch, and so it is through lunch that we shall strike the enemy. Be militant each in your own way. I incite this lunch to rebellion. We are here, not because we are lunch-eaters; we are here in our efforts to become lunch-eaters. Go lassie Go! Eat lunch you bourgeoisie rebel.


I’ll ha’e nae hauf-way lunch, but aye be whaur yer no. Extreme venison meat – it’s the only way ye’ll ken. To dodge the curst conceit o’ bein’ a stupit lassie.
That damns the vast majority o’ Firstministerial aides. Yer function in Scotland during the past two to three years has been that of the Strathdon cheese sauce that vitalises the other torpid denizens of the Big Cooncil.


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Oh Deer! Whit a plunker!

Didnae Go lassie didnae go. Went and played truant wi’ yer mare important pals insteed. Sod the parliament and the people o’ Scotland. Ye know it makes lunch!

Anti-Scots and contemptuous, a tired and emotional, McAlpine provided six o’ the worst reasons for plunkin the Big Cooncil ever. Still, Wee Eck had already set a precedent earlier in the day when he refused to be held to account by the Tories Truth Davidson over his hacking phone.

By Sixutha Best

FIRSTMINISTERIAL PARENTS of political aides in Scotland who persistently truant should have their political aide benefit cut, according to a key government adviser on parliamentary behaviour.

The government’s expert adviser on pisspoor behaviour, Mike Bernhard Rust-ell, has told the Scotland Today programme that “swift and certain” benefit cuts should be introduced for Firstminsters of truanting parliamentary aides.

Presiding Heidy of the Scottish Parliament Trisha Spiderwick echoed the calls and was keen to stress the importance of attendance at Bloodyrude.

She said: “It’s no as if it’s no a big deal or nuthin, but skanks who plunk the parliament get on oor collective t*ts.

“Playing footsie wi’ the Firstminster might be mare important to some o’ yoo bawbags, but I’ve got bloody arthritis in my big tae because o’ it.

“Wur wan o’ yoos no supposed tae be daein sumthin aboot that?”

Queen bourgeoisie ego and Firstminsterial sex aide Moan McVulpine was left eating humble pie in parliament today efter being caught plunkin it.

Incredibly, it wasn’t even a first offense. This was the SIXTH time for Ms McVulpine.

Having previously polished off smoked venison with Strathdon Blue cheese dressing and poached red wine pear, Ms McVulpine proceeded to no bother her arse gettin hersel intae parliament.

Drunk on power and half pished on Châteauneuf-du-Pape, Ms McVulpine was unceremoniously humiliated by the Presiding Heidy.

In a cringewurthy climbdown, Ms McVulpine said: “Ahm sorry. I didnae mean it as much this time as I meant it the last time and the time before that and the time before that and the ither times.

“Ah take my duties seriously – honest!”

Spokesperson for the Firstminster, Wee Naebudy said: “Moan dis an excellent job at plunkin the parliament for the Firstminster.”

Whit others said about Moanie

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Windy Salmond gives Master Baker a blow job

By Derty Cant

This is a fight, a magical fight, wound up and ready to play.

But this fight can hide a secret inside.

Can you guess who’s in for it today?

Windy has a great view of all the unprotected special coastline ripped up by Master Baker Trumpton.

MASTER Baker Donaldan Trumpton is very cross today. Windy Salmond has moved his windmill to the seaside. And Master Baker Trumpton doesn’t like it one bit. He says that Windy is spoiling his view. But Windy is very proud of his windmill. No one will make him change anything. Have a drink of cider Windy says to Master Baker Trumpton. Windy would like to make his own cider. If only the Big Bad Unionists would let him.

Master Baker Trumpton doesn’t want cider today. He wants all of Windy’s flour. Windy is only allowed to make flour. Master Baker Trumpton uses Windy’s flour to make bread. Lot’s of bread. He says a mill by the sea will spoil his chance to make even more bread. Master Baker Trumpton makes Windy laugh. This makes Master Baker Trumpton angry. “I’m going to sue Camberscot Green” says Master Baker Trumpton. And he says Mr Cheeky CATS is with him. Windy laughs. He knows that irony was never Master Baker Trumpton’s strong point.

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