Times are tough and money is scarce, but not for the new SNP Kleptocracy who’ve trousered close on half a million sovereign pounds sterling each for their royally sized pension pots.
By Robin Bastads
MOSES SALMOND has whinged to Yank businessmen that Scottish politicians are having to trouser tax payer cash with one hand tied behind their backs.
On a visit to the American Windbag City, planned to coincide with a celebrity sportsman photo opportunity, the Firstminster complained his country had less ‘readies’ available for his pension pot than Illinois.
But he claimed that an independent Scotland would provide greater opportunities for his cabinet to loot and plunder if it broke away from the contaminated Union.
Mr Salmond also said the people best placed to rip off the country were those able to get into the cabinet and pretend to work there.
He added: “They will always be the people with unfettered opportunity to profit on the back of the people who live and work there.
“Smaller independent nations are now suffering from their natural economic weakness – windbag nationalists, profiteering politicians, avaricious civil servants and the ability to clearly define their six figure payoffs and pension pots.
“Scotland’s current constitutional status – as part of a subjugating oppressive Union where one nation is always likely to whine on the basis of its mindset – seems more and more like hard luck.
“Scotland is still ranked number one in the world in terms of those willing to sacrifice their lives to escape Neverendum boredom.”
Mr Moses, who was boring the Windbag City Council on Parish Cooncil Affairs, will be enjoying a knees up at taxpayers expense until the end of golf’s Ridethem Cup.
He added: “Of course we will continue to ingratiate and abase ourselves to the Americans, without whose patronage, my vanity project will have nae chance of happening.
“But, as for those anti-progressive countries; France, Spain, Italy, Portugal,Bulgaria, Holland, Germany, Denmark, Poland, Romania, Ireland and Austria – who oppose our progressive Jakey Apartheid supermarket windfall tax, they will rue the day they messed wi’ my ego.”
The Ego has landed
According to the Hootsmon; “accounts disclosed that the most senior SNP politicians have built up pensions worth £493,000 since they came to power five years ago.
“Those pension arrangements do not include those for Alex Salmond, who receives a special pension worth half his salary when he steps down.”
AhDinnaeKen wishes that cabinet minster universal benefits were truly universal and open to all in the sovereign EU region of Skintland.