Monthly Archives: May 2014

Moan McVulpine: Holyrood is doing us a ‘civic’ disservice

MOAN says Firstminster Salmond and John Swinney will do anything to increase their elite positions and for that reason we should take with a huge pinch of salt their views on Scottish Independence:
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By Moan McVulpineputting the shame into shameless

ANOTHER WEEK, another Nationalist report over inflating Scotland’s independent prospects. No wonder nobody but the converted even take notice.

The latest Big Parish Cooncil analysis made sweeping generalisations based on the most optimistic figures available about how extra rich we are all going to be post-independence.

If only we could throw off the yoke of our imperialist colonisers at Westminster aka the basturt English .

Should this tissue of dodgy used car salesman promises surprise anyone? Every week we get the strongest evidence that Salmond is running out of snake oil.

Questioned by the opposition at FMQs he continually failed to provide any figures for what the start up costs of iScotland News Corps Plc will actually be.

For the acolytes of ffrreeddoomm™ it disnae matter – better free and impoverished than suffer the continued humiliation of occupied subjugation.

In other words, those who are with Salmond are true Scots, those who urnae – urnae.

Of course, the whole rotten fiasco is based on belief. Maybe the land of milk and citizen Tommy will come to be. Most probably it willnae.

In keeping with low expectations, the pro-UK Treasury lot hardly instill confidence when they get flatly contradicted by the very people they commissioned to research their reports.

It looks rank amateur, presentationally at least, because it is rank amateur.

But the recent debacle only shows why the indy referendum is too important a subject for a bunch of bawbag politicians to be in charge of it.

Danny Alexander, the presenter of the Treasury figures, has the look of an over abused Bullingdon fag boy caught in the headlights.

As the UK has already shown through the Euro election results, there’s an appetite out there for sacking all of the politicians.

UKIP are the anti-common sense party, yet they still trounced the allegedly ‘proper’ politicians.

Salmond, Sturgeon et al say that there’s a “world of difference” in Scotland.

The SNP already occupy the place of UKIP in the country – disaffection, grievance, frustration, impotence, loonyism and dissent. Effectively, the SNP got there first before UKIP.

The SNP only did so well in 2011 and at the Euro elections because there was a low turnout. They always do well with low turnouts. The disciples of ffrreeddoomm™ are always there, waiting and ready.

Just like the SNP’s recent analysis of Scotland’s future, when the real turnout turns out at the referendum, they’re likely to be found wanting.

Roll on Sep 18. We’ve had enough of this pish.

COMEDY RELIEF

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Moan McVulpine: Tasmina Sheik-Rattle’n’Roll, ready to do and say what it takes

MOAN reckons the voting populace can see straight through the naked opportunism of alleged Nationalists like Tasmina Sheik-Rattle’n’Roll:

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By Moan McVulpinespreading the veneer of opportunism very thinly

MADAME POLITICAL Butterfly was her name and she lived up to it.

The Scottish Nationalist Party welcomed other women on board the grievance train but none could live up to Tasmina’s sobriquet.

Madame Political Butterfly spoke for herself alone. And she did it with an audcacious brazenness which took the breath away.

She reinvigorated the Nationalist independence movement’s most memorable rallying call: “We are all political opportunists and Tartan Tories. Don’t give the game away.”

In that vivid phrase, she captured the essence of what the Nationalists are all about today: seizing power by doing and saying anything – without principle, fear or favour.

Tasmina is now attempting to join the Euro gravy train where she too can pretend to have relevance while cashing in on a great big salary cheque with associated expenses.

There are many similarities with Tasmina and the Nationalist sub-text – talk left, act right, sell oot the country later.

And of course, being Asian, she’ll help keep the vitally important West Coast of Scotland Asian vote on board.

She also ticks all the boxes of the required ‘multi-cultural’ sobriquet, so important to reinforcing the self proclaimed Nationalist label of ‘progressive’, ‘inclusive’ and ‘civic’ to the party’s political CV.

You only have to look at the lengths Nicola Sturgeon, a qualified lawyer, went to to defend Asian serial benefit fraudster, Abdul Rauf, who stole eighty thousands pounds of taxpayers money. You don’t take that kind of political damage on board voluntarily unless there’s a pay off in votes.

But I digress.

Tasmina, in many ways, has everything the Nationalists want. She’s rich, female, photogenic, clever-ish, bristling with self ambition, toe’s the party line (so long as she isn’t asked her opinion on homosexuality) and will do and say what it takes to gain power.

As her Madame Political Butterfly political career has shown to date, she joins the party’s she perceives will suit her ambitions best to raise her own prestige and position.

It’s so transparent it’s embarrassing, yet the Nationalists welcomed her on board with open arms. Such actions speak volumes.

The first party in Tasmina’s quest for power was the Tory party where, ironically, she accused Margaret Thatcher’s poster boy, William Hague, of taking the party to the left.

Then it was the New Labour Party after they finally wrested power from the Tories.

Finally, she joined the Nationalist Party where anyone who’s scunnered with the other parties inevitably find themselves through a lack of alternatives.

So, welcome to the new Tartan Tory poster girl. She personifies and embraces every lacking in the Nationalist party today – principle, policy, consistency, integrity and trustworthiness.

Hurrah for Tasmina!

We’re sure she’ll do well in her naked lust for power. Maybe she has found the right party after all.

Time will tell. We’ll all see which party she stays with post Sep 18.

COMEDY RELIEF

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Kirk debate: Was Jesus a Nationalist?

NEW SCROLLS discovered in the Sinai desert have hinted that Jesus may have been a Scottish Nationalist sympathiser. AhDinnaeKen reports:

"Blessed are the pure in heart" said Jesus, "for they will vote Yes."

“Blessed are the pure in heart” said Jesus, “for they will vote Yes.”

By Supa Star

THE CHURCH of Scotland is set to debate the question on nobody’s lips – Was Jesus a Nationalist?

Labour MP and son of a minister Douglas Alexander will represent the “Obviously Jesus was a Unionist” camp.

Meanwhile, the Reverend Homophobe Wingman-Campbell will represent the “Of course Jesus was a f**king Nationalist, get over it you thick c**ts.” camp.

The Kirk is committed to a position of neutrality but desperately wishes to appear relevant to the debate.

However, its members said it was important to show how Jesus would vote in the referendum on September 18.

In addition to the speakers for and against Jesus being a Nationalist, Pastor Jack Glass will discuss the fire and brimstone repercussions facing undecided and catholic voters.

Chair of the debate will be someone no-one has ever heard of.

“We need to create division in this debate so that we can heal that division” the no-one said, more in hope than expectation.

Blare MacDougall of the Better Together camp said: “It’s obvious Jesus was a Unionist. Didn’t he say in his sermon on the mount – “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the United Kingdom of Great Britain”? ”

But the Yes Yes Yes spokesman, Blare Charismaless-Jenkins immediately countered, Jesus may have said that on the BBC, but according to Newsnat what he really said was: “Blessed are those who are persecuted because of Nationalist righteousness, for theirs is the politics of grievance.”

Jesus was unavailable for comment due to previous Euro election commitments.

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Wings Over Scotland: An absence of f**king irony

INDEPENDENCE CAMPAIGNER to be and hate-preaching guardian of the Nationalist Front psyche, Stuart Campbell of Wings Over Scotland, was lamenting the acrimonious side to the indy debate yesterday. In an irony free blog post covering the progress of current referendum discourse, the alleged Reverend discussed the treatment of the Weirs – the SNP’s largest donators to the cause. AhDinnaeKen investigates:

It was reported in Edinburgh that James MacKenzie and Calum Cashley spontaneously combusted yesterday upon such joyous news.

It was reported in Edinburgh yesterday that James MacKenzie, Calum Cashley and Euan McColm spontaneously combusted  upon hearing the joyous news.

By Longshanker aka @ergasiophobe

DIMINUTIVE DEMAGOGUE, wee Stuarty Campbell was in reflective mood yesterday.

The tone of the referendum’s discourse has taken a turn for the worse and he “reluctantly” chose to talk about “the odious and hateful side of the independence debate“.

Leaving aside that this is like a skunk complaining about bad smells in the environment, the ‘wee’ man reflected on the issue in a blog entitled ‘An absence of Respect‘.

It covered the abuse the Nationalist campaign’s largest donators, the Weirs, have suffered at the hands of the SNP’s opponents and, in particular, gorgeous George Galloway – the reason behind the capitalisation of the R in Respect.

In this instance, the Nationalist Front Ranter had a point, of sorts.

It’s unfortunate for Better Together’s motley crew that the Weirs won so much money, but that’s life. Get ower it! There’s no point in whinging about it. It just makes the whingers look and sound sour and gives self appointed proselytising pontiffs like Campbell the chance to act as if they were possessed of some kind of moral superiority.

Regular readers will know that AhDinnaeKen frequently refers to the Laird Wilcox Extremist Traits list to help point out Campbell’s varying forms of extremism.

Aside from numbers 1 and 2 – which are the most tediously obvious and commonly demonstrated Campbell/Wings traits – ‘An absence of Respect‘ demonstrates trait numbers: 5) ADVOCACY OF DOUBLE STANDARDS, 6) TENDENCY TO VIEW THEIR OPPONENTS AND CRITICS AS ESSENTIALLY EVIL and 7) MANICHAEAN WORLDVIEW.

So far, so stereotypical.

AhDinnaeKen’s chuckles of incredulity were amplified by this moralising statement in the blog: “Independence campaigners should expect an endless, rancid vomit-slick of this sort of provocation in the next four months.

Ironically, independence campaigners don’t have to wait, Campbell delivered it to their Twitter feed a long time ago and he’s still pumping it out from his rat infested bedsit.

The following is a flavour of the type of ‘progressive‘ and ‘civic‘ campaigning indy-ref voters/campaigners can expect from a soon to be ‘official‘ campaigner for the Yes side:

In a recent Scotsman article Lesley Riddoch said: "The way people are heard and treated today creates either confidence or doubt about the future."  I wonder what Wings supporting Lesley would think about being called a hypocrite.

In a recent Scotsman article Lesley Riddoch said: “The way people are heard and treated today creates either confidence or doubt about the future.” What kind of future does Wings supporting Lesley envision for us post Sep 18? AhDinnaeKen thinks we* should be told.

 

Forensic analysis backed up by facts in scrupulous detail. Aint you glad Wings is on the Yes side? Answers in green ink to SNP central headquarters.

Forensic analysis backed up by facts in scrupulous detail. Aint you glad Wings is on the Yes side? Answers in green ink to SNP central headquarters.

 

Fuck this and fuck that, Fuck it all and fuck a fucking brat, We* don't wanna baby that sounds like that I don't wanna baby that acts like that

F**k this and f**k that,
F**k it all and f**k a f**king brat,
We* don’t wanna baby that sounds like that
We* don’t wanna baby that acts like that – The Electoral Commission Sex Pistols (Independent Bodies)

 

Concise, incisive, eloquent and too the point. We* salute Wingsy's indefatigability.

Concise, incisive, eloquent and directly to the point. This is the future of online debate in an independent Scotland. We* salute Wingsy’s indefatigability – a herald of the indy zeitgeist.

 

This passes for humour in the ranks of the Nationalist Front. Not the Thatcher inspired use of Wet to describe people on his own side.

This apparently passes for humour in the ranks of the Nationalist Front. Note the Thatcher inspired use of “Wet” to describe people not quite onside.

 

The slogan of the independent future. Winning hearts and minds throughout the ancient kingdom of Alba.

The slogan of a brave new independent future. Winning hearts and minds throughout the ancient kingdom of Alba since 2012.

 

It's not just about a brighter future for Wingsy, it's also about equality and egalitarianism.

It’s not just about a brighter future for Wingsy, it’s also about equality and egalitarianism.

 

"Campaigners shouldn't attack the man they should attack the points being made."  Good to see that being adhered to here. Weel din Wingsy sark.

“Campaigners shouldn’t attack the man they should attack the points being raised.” Good to see that being adhered to here. Weel din Wingsy sark.

 

According to Bruce's father in the movie Braveheart, men are attracted to those unwilling to compromise. Worth remembering what happened to them as well - slaughtered on the battlefield and ritually disembowelled in front of the baying crowd.

According to Bruce’s father in the movie Braveheart, men are attracted to those unwilling to compromise. Worth remembering what happened to them as well – slaughtered on the battlefield and ritually disembowelled in front of the baying crowd.  We*’re speaking metaphorically, of course.

 

Steve's sister spent years of her life studying the reasons for the Hillsborough disaster. Her brother was one of the 96. This was how Campbell dealt with her because she had the temerity to disagree with him. What was that Lesley Riddoch said again about the way people are treated?

Steve’s sister spent years of her life studying the reasons for the Hillsborough disaster. Her brother was one of the 96. This was how Campbell dealt with her because she had the temerity to disagree with him. What was that Lesley Riddoch said again about the way people are treated?

 

 

 

 

 

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Moan McVulpine: There are risks that go along with treating voters as if they’re idiots

MOAN’S baser urges have got her and those surrounding her into a lot of trouble. Something which is always worth thinking about when reading her Daily Redcoat propaganda.
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By Moan McVulpineputting the un into uncertainty

EVERY MAJOR life decision carries an element of uncertainty.

But not as much risk as taking the leap of faith required to believe a Nationalist on the make.

Having your kids read the newspapers is a risk. Especially when you’re the front page splash on the Daily Mail on a good few occasions.

Not just risky, embarrassing as hell – for everyone involved.

Fortunately, for the survival of the Yes campaign, most Yessers are just too focused on the nasty evil imperial tories and their rightwing media cohorts to see through the malignancy and falsehood lieing at the very heart of the Nationalist vanity project.

So, over-proscribed finger pointing proselytising aside, it’s on to normal domestic life risks and the equating of those risks to voting for ffrreeddoomm™ in September.

Normal ‘everyday’ life carries varying types of risk: growing up, accepting a job offer, getting married, having kids, getting divorced, jumping into the sack with other married people, making dodgy payments to those other married people and threatening the innocent injured party with financial ruin in order to cover it all up.

That’s risky behaviour for a ‘would be’ and ‘then became’ politician to indulge in.

And yet, this politician still has the vanity and vainglorious ego to believe that anyone with any decency would take anything they say with more than a pinch of distasteful salt.

But that’s Nationalist types for you – blind to their own shortcomings and hypersensitive to the failings of others.

One of the jibes currently gaining currency as a potential tactic into goading people into voting Yes vote is that of ‘feartie’ and its numerous tedious incarnations.

The Daily Redcoat today has a certain ginger whinger claiming that they think of “personal life choices when people talk about their fear of voting Yes to independence “because of the uncertainty”.”

Put simply, the ‘wee white whine’ thinks voting Yes would be like any domestic life decision which carries risk.

What the ‘whine’ fails to take into consideration is that every one of these personal life decisions referred to also leaves the decision maker with the ability to make realistic future projections for themselves.

A marketing type would call it a SWOT analysis.

In most cases the variables involved are limited and always potentially within the control of the decision maker, fingers crossed.

Whereas, voting Yes involves putting faith in others about whom you know next to nothing and what you do know isnae up to much – or very confidence inducing.

In this instance confidence is being confused with faith. It doesn’t take confidence to vote Yes, it takes faith.

And, the type of faith voters are being asked to be confident about is the faith of supposition, untested projection, delusion and assertion – and that’s just the good points.

When you look at some of the people making these ‘confident’ claims it takes the bravest of hearts not to wilt.

That’s not to say that there’s much to be pleased about with a No vote. Much of what the Nationalists say about the current UK government has a ring of truth in it. Competent propaganda usually does.

But, with the centralised Scottish police ‘tooling up’ in the Highlands, Nationalists like Vladimir Putin being praised for their ‘pride’ restoring abilities and Sun King Salmond working on the recruitment of right wing hawks like Rupert Murdoch to the cause, it doesn’t take too much artistic ‘imagining’ to see what’s coming in the advent of a triumphant vote for the Nationalist Front.

The alternative is to accept that our future is in someone else’s hands as opposed to the alternative alternative of putting our future in someone else’s hands.

Whatever way you vote and no matter how you look at it, you’re putting your future in someone else’s hands.

Of that you can be confident.

COMEDY RELIEF

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Newsnet Scotland: Are they thick or deliberately deceptive? Or both?

THE BBC reported on the NHS waiting list findings of Audit Scotland yesterday. The independent watchdog’s report didn’t make great reading for the NHS, the SNP or Alex Neil the Health Secretary. Given that Audit Scotland is independent, with no political axe to grind, AhDinnaeKen investigates the attitude and reporting of ‘alternative’ newsgathering website, Newsnet Scotland, on the issue. We* can only conclude Newsnat have done nothing to throw off the label of ‘crackpot’ coined for them by Daily Redcoat editor Davie Clegg:

Ponseybody might smell a rat. AhDinnaeKen smells shite. And it's coming from Ponseybody's keyboard.

Ponseybody might smell a rat. AhDinnaeKen smells shite. And it’s coming directly from Ponseybody’s keyboard.

By Longshanker aka @ergasiophobe

AUDIT SCOTLAND, the BBC, the Labour party and STV are conspiring in unison against the Scottish Government according to Newsnet Scotland.

The laughably crackpot accusation was raised by the site yesterday in response to the BBC’s reporting of Audit Scotland’s latest A&E waiting time findings.

And, to further compound their paranoia, Newsnet Scotland also claimed that Audit Scotland were deliberately misreporting waiting time data to discredit the SNP.

According to Newsnet reporter God Awful Ponsonby (G.A. Ponsonby) not only were STV, the BBC and Audit Scotland in on the conspiracy, so were the Labour party.

God Awful garbled: “But as ever when it comes to NHS waiting times, the Scottish media – especially the BBC although STV were in on this one as well – then things aren’t ever what they appear.”

Interpreted into the Queen’s imperial English, we* think Ponseybody means that both broadcasters were acting in concert to undermine the reputation of the SNP.

Not content with pointing the finger at the TV outlets, God Awful also let loose with both canonical barrels on the SNP’s nemesis, the Labour party.

He raged: “Yesterday we had the latest attempt by Labour and their media cronies to present the NHS in Scotland as somehow in crisis and at breaking point.”

And, just to make sure that there was no doubt that this was a heinous, bordering on despicable, conspiracy against the SNP, God Awful also turned his forensic analysis on the source of the report, Audit Scotland.

Referring to Audit Scotland’s previous report on waiting time figures, God Awful pointed out a “rather odd anomaly”.

The older report – linked to in God Awful’s piece – “contains a diagram showing clearly that 2006 has been used.”

At this stage, AhDinnaeKen was expecting the grammatically clunky Ponseybody to phone the polis in a fit of pique.

But no, by having used a graphic containing this guilty diagram, Audit Scotland clearly has to answer the question raised by Ponseybody: “why has the new report claimed 2008/09 was the previous baseline when the text and diagram suggests it was 2006?”

While he awaits the response “with interest” from Audit Scotland, we* think that the answer is already there in the older report itself.

On the summary page of the report the second line says: “In 2008/09, the equivalent of around 1.4 million people attended an emergency department.”

Paragraph 3 of the summary background states: “In 2008/09, the ambulance service transported over 400,000 patients to hospital…”

Paragraph 4 states: “In 2008/09, NHS 24 referred just under 75,000 …”

As if to compound Ponseybody’s ignorance, the graphic referred to by him also clearly shows that 2008 was the period when waiting times hit their target of 95% of A&E patients being seen within a four hour waiting period.

It seems fair to conclude – for that reason alone – that 2008/09 would be the obvious baseline to choose from which to measure future performance.

As was found by the independent watchdog, there’s clearly work to be done. And, as directly referred to by Audit Scotland: “The Scottish Government launched the National Unscheduled Care Action Plan in February 2013 in response to the deterioration in performance against the four-hour standard.”

It shouldn’t need pointed out, but the four hour waiting time target was reached in 2008/09. It hasn’t been maintained and that’s what was highlighted by the report. Basic stuff.

All worth reporting by the BBC, STV, MSM et al because, in anyone’s language – even Ponseybody’s – it’s newsworthy and in the public interest.

Not for Ponseybody though.

Clearly clutching too hard at the 2006 graphical straw man, he then proceeded to give that straw man the thrashing it deserved to prove beyond doubt that Audit Scotland was out to get the NHS/SNP, in cahoots with the Labour party, the BBC and STV.

AhDinnaeKen is still laughing.

It only leaves the question – to be answered by Newsnight’s producers – why are the BBC plugging this arrant nonsensical website at the end of Newsnight?

Appeasement only leads to further embarrassing concessions.

Scottish Review was plugged alongside Newsnet recently. The difference between the two is like chalk and cheese.

The Scottish Review is high quality, informative and thought provoking.

Newsnet is mostly none of those things, other than when the likes of Hassan, Torrance, or Riddoch get paid to write for it – and even then…

Earth calling Ponseybody. Yer tea’s oot!

Reporting on the findings of an independent body. How bloody bias can you get. In an independent Scotland the news will be much more government friendly if the likes of Newsnet get their way.

Reporting on the findings of an independent body. How bloody bias can you get? In an independent Scotland the news will be much more government friendly if the likes of Newsnet get their way.

COMEDY RELIEF

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Health pledge: Waiting times will be longer in an independent Scotland

INDEPENDENT WATCHDOG Audit Scotland found that the number of patients experiencing over extended waiting times at casualty departments has tripled over the past five years – a period which coincides with SNP governance of the Scottish NHS. AhDinnaeKen reports:

"Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing when you'll get seen to, is the worse kind of suffering." -  Paulo Coelho

“Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing when you’ll be seen to, is the worst kind of suffering.” – Paulo Coelho

By Troofis Ootthare

ALEX NEIL has reassured Scotland that waiting times in A&E departments will be extended under independence.

The health secretary insisted that only upon achieving our ffrreeddoomm™ can we expect to wait longer in casualty.

He told the imperial propagandist BBC: “Past administrations waiting times have been rubbish. Only upon achieving independence can we guarantee that health service waiting times will be even more rubbish.

“We have wasted a further £50 million pounds on proving that a Nationalist based NHS can be just as rubbish, if not more rubbish, than the UK’s.”

Drunks, wasters, hypochondriacs and junkies welcomed the announcement.

Robin Bassa, a client/consultant of the Scottish government’s methadone programme said:

“This’ll be great man. The longer and mair bored people wait at the casualty, the mair chance there is tae dip their bag or their pockets.

“We welcome these findings by Audit Scotland.”

Health experts said Mr Neil’s plan served as a guide toward what can’t be expected from an independent Scotland.

Doctor Urye Awrightpal said: “More nurses and support staff will lose their jobs, more cancer patients will die due to lack of lifesaving drugs and waiting times at A&E will lengthen if we become independent.

“You just have to look at what the SNP Health Secretary hasn’t achieved so far to see how much more he won’t achieve in a future independent Scotland.”

Alternative ‘crackpot’ news site of truth, information and Nationalist doctrine, Newsnat Scotland welcomed the Audit Scotland figures:

“This Audit Scotland report gives us yet another excuse to attack the British Brainwashing Corporation for the imperialist, out of touch, elitist, anti-Scots, propaganda machine that all sane persons know it has become.

“By reporting these independent findings they have exposed yet again what they have become and what they are – a newsgathering organisation.

“Things will be different in an independent Scotland. We guarantee it”

Beware the ides of the BBC. Reporting on the findings of an independent body. Imperialist propaganda at its worst.

Beware the ides of the BBC. Reporting on the findings of an independent body. Imperialist propaganda at its worst.

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