By Utter Stutter – linguistics and lexiphanic cliche analyst
THE SCOTTISH Parliament’s Justiceminster, Mr Humza Yousaf, angrily attacked “utter media hypocrisy” yesterday in a dispute over cliches which arose after the publishing of a letter in the Dundee Courier.
Letter writer, Jukov Sutherland, had reported that Mr Yousaf’s general utterances were littered with intellectually vacuous statements prefixed by the cliched use of “utter” or “utterly”.
Humza utterly denied this, claiming that it was utterly despicable to pick on his use of utter because, as Justiceminster for the people of his community, he was utterly committed to its everyday use on their behalf.
He said: “I utterly refute this claim.
“It is utterly insulting to my name and displays an utter lack of respect to me, my friends, my family, my pets, my Panini football sticker collection, my community, my politics, my beliefs, my party, my country and anything else which has anything utterly to do with me.
“I will be writing to the leader of the mainstream media party and will make it utterly clear how utterly appalling this insult is coming from an utter bunch of utter nutters.
“I will be expecting several utter resignations following my writing of an utterly outraged letter.
“As Justiceminster for Transport, or something, I utterly condemn this utterly heartbreaking recognition of my utter commitment to vacuous intellectually challenged utter cliches.”
The SNP however utterly backed their Justiceminster’s human right to rely on tediously repetitive cliches:
“Look, we’ve utterly relied on the use of grievance cliches to get where we are today. It’s an utter success story that our utterances even get listened to never mind believed.
“Leave the boy alone, it’s an utter improbability that he’ll get found out any time soon.”