Monthly Archives: June 2012

Just Say Yes (please) Poster #2

This post was meant to be something else, but something else came up, so instead I’m posting something else. Apologies.

By Dearthov Imagination

 

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Filed under Culture, Media, Morality, Poster, Referendum

The Big Debate: Unionist/Nationalist marriage

Sod that BBC keach, AhDinnaeKen looks into the real debate currently splitting the country in two – should Wee Eck and Wee Jimmie Krankie be allowed to marry each other?

A marriage made in heaven or hell? You decide.

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. I suppose that explains the lack of answers in parliament from the Right Honourable Sun King.

By Livan Letlive

THE UNHOLY Alliance has sparked contoversy after revealing plans to allow Nationalist/Unionist people to marry in democratic churches.

Equalities Minister Vera-Lynne Feathermystones revealed the Government is set to lift a ban on Nat/Unionist civil partnerships in democratic churches – a move which has angered leading politicians.

Under the new plans, Nat/Unionist men and women can take their vows in a democratic church setting provided they have permission.

However, the Parliament of Scotland has drawn out of using their buildings to marry Nat/Unionist couples.

But not all members of the Parliament are against the move. Ex-Nationalist MSP Margo MacDonut, who is the Mother of Independence is in full support of mixed marriages.

Should Nat/Unionist partnerships, introduced in 1999, be taken in Democratic church buildings?

Yes…

Margo Mac thinks it’s the only way to go. “As there are no plans to force these ‘marriages’ on any political Union in the UK, there will probably be just a few democratic buildings with ‘progressive’ democrats who will look to promote these ceremonies… Live and let live. Move with the times.”

No…

Brian Sootyer. I’m no knight of the realm at all, but the Parliament should stand by what it believes and nobody should be able to go against that. If they don’t believe in different political stance marriages then that’s it.”

Should mixed marriages be allowed in Democracy?

Join the debate now – it’s much more interesting than talking about neverendums.

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Filed under Morality, Opinion

“Let my people go!” – Moses Salmond exhorts Pharaoh Cameron

Sun King Moses of Salmond revealed his divine status on the eve of the Bloodyrude Holy Day

If Sun King Moses Salmond had been paid NI newspaper rates for the Ten Referendum Commandments, he might have written the Two Thousand Referendum Commandments.

By Handov Thelord
1 Then the LORD said unto Sun King Moses Salmond, Go in unto Pharaoh Cameron, and tell him, Thus saith the LORD God of the Freedom Seeking Scots, LET MY PEOPLE GO, that they may serve me in European Union.

2 For if thou refuse to let them go, and wilt hold them still,

3 Behold, the hand of the LORD is upon thy budget which is in U-turn disrepair, upon the pasties, upon the fuel duty, upon the caravans, upon the grannies, and upon charitable tax relief: there shall be a very grievous murrain.

4 And the LORD shall sever between the voters of Scottish Nationalism and the voters of Unionyptians: and there shall nothing die of all that is the children’s of Scotland’s Nationalists. For they are indeed, the chosen people.

5 And the LORD appointed a set time, saying, To morrow the LORD shall do this thing in the land.

6 And the LORD did that thing on the morrow, and all the budget pledges of the Unionyptians died: but of the pledges of the children of Scottish Nationalism died not one.

7 And Pharaoh Cameron sent, and, behold, there was not one of the pledges of the Scottish Nationalists dead. And the heart of Pharaoh Cameron was hardened, and he did not let the people have more than one question on the ballot paper.

8 And the LORD said unto Sun King Moses Salmond and unto Auld Nick Aaron Sturgeon, Take to you handfuls of McAlpine guff from the assembly, and let Sun King Moses Salmond sprinkle it toward Westminster in the sight of Pharaoh Cameron.

9 And it shall become small U-turns in all the land of the Unionyptians, and shall be a boil breaking forth with blains upon man, and upon grannies, throughout all the land of the Unionyptians.

10 And they took the McAlpine guff of the parliament, and stood before Pharaoh Cameron; and Sun King Moses Salmond sprinkled it up toward Westminster; and it became a boil breaking forth with blains upon man, and upon grannies.

11 And the spin doctors could not stand before Sun King Moses Salmond because of the boils; for the boil was upon the spin doctors, and upon all the Unionyptians.

12 And the LORD hardened the heart of Pharaoh Cameron, and he hearkened not unto them; as the LORD had spoken unto Sun King Moses Salmond.

Here endeth the sermon

SNP drones – Blairite clones in cultish clothing

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Salmond’s corporate support – Britain’s last resort bail-out

Just when you thought it couldn’t get any more tired and idiotic, it does. A campaign of five minute mad-dog inspired Cybernat style posters. How dull?

Five minute controversy and lots of attention. Ooh! Suits you sir.

By Wingsova Shameful Attentionseekerland

I once used a big word like F**K. What a middle aged rebel eh?

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A red-hot time for McAlpine gingers to shut up

A French Proverb states that “redheaded women are either violent  or false, and usually are both.”

By Moan McVulpine on Jun 26, Whine collections are better thegither

WESTMINSTER RULES Bloodyrude Disnae’s latest star, Moan McVulpine is a definite red-head.

Nae wunner the world’s largest sperm donors – men – are refusing to share donations with this ginger’s genes. Prospective parents don’t want anything to do with recessive falsehood.

There is an internet site – onlyagingercancallaginger-ginger.com – which urges the flame haired and the bad tempered to huv a rant at their ‘normal’ oppressors.

Me, ah don’t need it, ah’ve got The Daily Ranger column every Tuesday.

I’ve already nobbed David Brent – I have to admit a couple of bottles of Pinot Grigio at lunchtime have never held me back, though sun loungers can certainly make things interesting (that’s a story for another day however).

But since I’ve been seen more and more in the subsidised canteen I have noticed some derogatory references to my drinking and eating habits.

It’s clearly a mark of Nationalist contempt, because we have more MSPs avoiding asking tabled questions than any other party – 22 per cent of the parliament.

Labour has fewer, but hammers them more.

Potential sperm donors say the ginger gene can still get them there. Titian locks are a cultural mark of witchcraft and carnal voracity and a source of inflamed ego – time for this Scottish ginger to walk tall and shout out loud: “Who’s next boys?”

COMEDY RELIEF

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Filed under Environment, Moan McVulpine, Opinion

Vote Yes and your children will suffer for ever

I watched as the Darling opened the first of the seven seals. Then I heard one of the four living creatures say in a voice like thunder, “Come and see!” I looked, and there before me was a white horse! Its rider held a Facebook Account, and he was given an opinion poll, and he rode out as a conqueror bent on conquest. Book of Referendamnation 6:1-2

The start of the positive case for the union.

The hottest place in Hell is reserved for those who remain neutral in times of great moral conflict. – Martin Luther King, Jr.

By Roastin Hell

VOTE FOR Independence and your kids will be ConDemned to suffer eternal damnation, a moderate Scot told the electorate today.

Labourers’ former Horseman of the Apocalypse Asmodeus Darling today launches a cross-party drive called Awinitthe Gither aimed at encouraging Scots voters to avoid everlasting torment.

Asmodeus will tell campaigners at HeidinBurrow Naepain University lecture hall: “If you choose the path to hell there is no way back. It is like asking us to buy fags and matches for our children as soon as they’ve started walking.”

Mr Darling said he will try and avoid a “negative case” for leaving the UK.

He will add: “Scotland’s future, hell’s future and the future of the abyss will be ecumenically, theologically and pastorally stronger as a partner in a United Hellminster.

“The truth is that this coming together of heretics, blasphemers, apostates, charlatans and Tory tax dodgers is an abomination, not something to shout about.”

The Awinitthe Gither campaign – which has engaged the Mercurian strategists who helped bring the Great Satan Obama Bin Laden to power – will also distribute 500,000 reasons why burning in hell is awfy sare.

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MacAesop’s Fables # 17 – The Fawn and His Mother

Our seventeenth Sunday outpouring of sanctimony and self-righteous morality to be taken as seriously as Sun King Salmond’s moral courage in the face of Chinese whispers.

A lama, a fawn and a non-humanitarianist

Humanitarianism is the expression of stupidity and cowardice. – Adolf Hitler. Good to see humanitarianism is lacking in today’s civic Scottish government.

A YOUNG Fawn once said to his Mother, “You are larger than a dog, and swifter, and more used to running, and you have your horns as a defense; why, then, O Mother! do the hounds frighten you so?”

She smiled, and said: “I know full well, my son, that all you say is true. I have the advantages you mention, but when I hear even the bark of a single dog I feel ready to faint, and fly away as fast as I can.”

Analysis: Just what did the Chinese consul say to the Nats? Whatever it was, it undoubtedly backs up the moral of the fable: “No arguments will give courage to the coward.”

For more morally superior and vacuous posturing click on the Fable category to the right.

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