A brilliant barefaced polemic on SNP lies – in terms of the debate

By Moan McVulpine – Skintland’s most vehement Salmond apologist

I’VE SPENT the weekend trying to pull the wool over the eyes of my well informed and intelligent friends (Patty Cane, Tonyblair Jenkins, Faslane C Smith) concerning the Firstminster’s barefaced lies.

They are outside the “political-nous bubble” that envelops journos, politicos and cybernats in Skintland.

So the row about Sun King Alex and Europe baffles them (bless). It wouldn’t confuse an overdosing methadone addict, even if it was transmitted in Ministerial Morse Code.

Sun King Alex of Salmond got ‘fun oot’ bluffing, deceiving, duping, conning, barefaced lying to his ‘sovereign people of Scotland’.

And worse, he was fun oot telling the barefaced lie to the British Brainwashing Corporation’s Unionist Scottish stooge, Andrew Kneel – the worst kind of anti-Scot.

But pro-independenistas, Nats, and Cybernats had a get out clause. After Tricky Dicky Salmo said “Yes” he had taken legal advice, he also said “in terms of the debate”. Genius!

A cover and well known Snake Oil huckster phrase to pull a veil over any lie.

For example: Will this Snake Oil give me automatic entry to the European Union? – In terms of the debate YES (In terms of reality NO).

You should try this at home. It’s already all the rage with Scotland’s school kids: “Did you do your homework? – in terms of the debate – NO. In reality – YES.

Rumour has it that Asil Nadir and Conrad Black had wished they had taken legal advice from the Firstminster’s lawyers.

Of course, Labourers and Tory Tories have the same political nous as Craig Leavin’ has football nous – both types couldnae score when presented with an open goal. Ho hum – such is the standard inherent of Scotland’s public servants.

So let me just say this (takes big breath) Scotland and England agreed a legal process for the Neverendum in the Declaration of Contempt 2012. This will mean nothing to Europe unless it delivers a shock result.

One rump old state, one new secessionist state. All the negotiation responsibilities are left to the separatists new nation – who’ll have to reapply and accept that the single currency will be an expectation of membership.

The only threat to Scotland’s membership of the EU is the countries who constitute the Union.

They’ll be apt to remember that Scotland wants to price their wine and alcohol exports out of the Scottish market with the Jakey Apartheid Tax or Minimum Pricing on Alcohol bill.

Hardly the friendliest of moves for a Union dedicated to free trade with minimal barriers to business and commerce.

This is what we should be talking about. Just how long can the Nat dafties who believe that Alex has a plan, go on being blind to the fact the Sun King has no clothes on and even less of an idea on how to dress himself up?

Probably forever – eh? Ignore the bluster fae the Sun King. He’s a barefaced liar (in terms of the debate).

COMEDY RELIEF

All New Liarwatch 2012 – live on TV, Radio, Red Button and Online

BBC set to launch Liarwatch 2012 exclusively in Scotland for the first time.

The British Brainwashing Corporation have erected a camera in the subsidised canteen to observe lying politicians in their natural habitat.

By Telmy Lyes

WE’RE UNDERWHELMED to announce that Liarwatch returns at the end of October with a really dull old format and location, planned to expose all the worst pantsonfire action of the Autumn.

As if that’s not enough cause for suicide or methadone dose increase, Liarwatch will be followed by the dull old dead series, Salmywatch, in January.

Chris Spotsem, Michaela Strafesem, Martin Guessing-Games and guests will be following all the lies as they happen, broadcasting live from our old location.

And for the first time Liarwatch will be based in Scotland, at one of the most barefaced places to showcase the brazen nature of lies, untruths and deceptions during liar season.

There’ll be hundreds of live shows from the British Brainwashing Corporation’s propaganda machine until the plucky wee Scots aspirations are finally crushed in 2014.

Our Old Location
So what about Liarwatch’s old location? We’ll be based at Whollyrude, in the reeky auld toon of Edinborrow.

It’s one of the worst areas in the UK to experience whopping great barefaced lies designed to deceive the public on a huge separatist scale.

Nestled in an overpriced cludgy and surrounded by overpriced pretentious pseudo-modern architecture, Whollyrude is home to some of the UK’s most prolific liars, from Banff & Buchan Specialists to familiar Govan wide-boys wi’ nae baws.

In the Big Cooncil there are wee fibbers, truth economists, evasive sophists, and barefaced liars – such a parcel of rogues in a nation.

Liars of prey cruise over the cabinet, while sinister media spinners hunt in the undergrowth, and a Yes campaign is home to a family of ex-BBC Tristrams, playfully thick pseudo-pop stars and the dumb but hilariously dangerous Butcher’s Apron Burners.

Join us, we can’t wait to show you. Never has there been such a concentration of barefaced kleptocractic powermongers and liars assembled in one location.

Liarwatch begins on BBC Lie from Tuesday 30th October until the Scottish Sun announces the date of the Neverendum sometime in 2o14.

Scotland to get a serious ‘doin’ if it attempts to remove Trident

Richest kleptocrat Tory in Wesminster cabinet issues ‘covert’ threat of a serious ‘crushing’ for Scotland if it daurs attempt to remove nuclear weapons from Faslane or Coulport.

“In defence, I have cultivated a death wish.” – Moses Salmond.    Here’s hoping it isn’t visited upon Scots in Coulport and Faslane.

By Ahmkeachin Mahsel

“…it is now likely that transfer of North Sea oil to Scottish ownership would occasion much bitterness in England if not an attempt to forcibly prevent it.” – McCrone Report. (Written in sidebar – “should they attempt to remove nuclear deterrent, Christ, I’d rather be a dug than a Scot.)

DEFENCE MINISTER  Fillip Hammondster has issued a sinister understated threat to the people of Skintland should they deign to vote for fffrrreeeeedddddoooommmm™ in 2014.

Speaking on the British Brainwashing Corporation’s Getitupye Thismornin Skintland, the Minister said that “there were no contingency plans” for the nuclear deterrent in the event of a successful isolation vote in 2014.

When asked by chief Unionist flunky and anti-Scot turncoat Gary Robbers-son what the government would do in the event of a Yes vote, the Minister said:

“We’re not making any contingency planning for such an unlikely event. You can be confident we have all sorts of contingency plans.

“You can be confident that around a capability as important to the UK’s defence as our strategic nuclear deterrent we will have all sorts of contingency plans for maintaining the deterrent in place in all sorts of circumstances.

“That’s normal good operational planning and I can assure you that the Royal Navy is very strong on operational contingency planning.”

Defence and Paranoia aboot the English spokesperson for the SNP, Angus Robberson is reported to have turned white and nearly fainted at the news.

He said: “You know whit this means don’t ye? If we win the isolation vote they’re gonnae invade us. They’ll use the navy to seal aff Coulport and Faslane and then they’ll bomb our airports, cut off our communications and tell the ootside world that we have been the victims of a terrorist attack.”

SNP insiders fear that the crux of the matter comes down to those five little words in the Defence Minister’s threat: “…maintaining the deterrent in place…”

It is widely accepted that should the Rebellious Scots attempt to remove the nuclear deterrent, a little known clause in the 1958 USA/UK Mutual Defence Pact will spring into action.

Paragraph 38 section (1) subsection (d) states: “Should the wee, poor and stupit natives get ideas above their station CRUSH them with whatever nasty spiteful underhanded imperialistic means you can.”

Fool, eejit and lacking in foresight spokesperson for the SNP Wee Naebudy said: “Christ, ah think we better get oan the blower to Mel Gibson. This sounds a bit serious fur us tae deal wi’. This is big boys stuff.”

SNP set to lie throughout proposed liar debate

Latest suggested debate wheeze shows that any obfuscation, evasion, deflection, diffusion or distraction is not beyond Scotland’s Firstminster in order to avoid the truth aboot his lies.

The liar’s punishment is, not in the least that he is not believed, but that he cannot believe anyone else.” ― George Bernard Shaw. Wonder how Eck will deal with being told that the Neverendum is lost.

By Bearfaze Lyer

PINOCCHIO SALMOND last night challenged Pinocchio Sturgeon to hold a barefaced debate on barefaced lying – on St Liars Day.

The Firstminster threw down his longnose as he sought to bounce back from his prolonged exposure as a barefaced liar.

And he called on the Deputy Firstminster to square up for a head to head clash – which would decide who was the most audacious barefaced liar in Scotland.

Mr Pinocchio told AdDinnaeKen: “Over the next two years Scotland’s people will be lied to in a manner which makes my barefaced lies look like an economy with the truth.

“That’s why today I’m calling on Pinocchio Sturgeon to tell lies about how many  barefaced  lies she has told herself.

“I’ll be writing to the Deputy Firstminster to agree to a debate with myself on Scotland’s barefaced lying future. It will be a chance for everyone to see just how big, small, devious, unplanned and pointless our lies will be till the Neverendum takes place in 1914.”

The challenge comes after an embarrassing week for Pinocchio Salmond. Rivals lied about his lies concerning his earlier lies over the lies he told to a known liar.

And the latest in a series of damning lies yesterday indicated just 71 per cent of Scots want to separate from lying politicians.

Indy campaigners think a lie-to-lie-in with Sturgeon would do nothing for the Nats which is widely viewed as an improvement on what is happening just now.

The Neverendum is expected to take place on Saturday October 18 2014 – first told to the Scottish Sun by a well known SNP liar.

A senior lying Tartan Tory source Wee Naebudy said: “Pinocchio Salmond should stop lying about stunts and focus on lying to the Scottish people on the fantasies of independence.”

The pro-Union AwInItTheGither campaign, chaired by professional liar Asmodeus Darling said: “Mr Darling is willing to trade lies with Pinocchio Salmond any day of the week.”

Lies, damned lies and legal advice

One lie has the power to tarnish a thousand truths. AhDinnaeKen salutes the Firstminster and his political death at the hands of a thousand truths.

If Wee Eck does find the solution for automatic EU entry it will be the most revolutionary reversal of his record we have ever known. You go for it Salmy, nobody’s gonnae believe ye noo. Boo hoo hoo!

By Haufatruth Izalie

THE SCOTTISH National party has agreed terms with Unionist parties to settle 3000 outstanding barefaced lie claims made by the Firstminster.

The total settlement is expected to cover millions of lies as every utterance made throughout the Firstminster’s career is placed under forensic scrutiny.

Public opinion has confirmed that the proposed scrutiny of Wee Eck’s ‘barefaced lies’ will bring an end to his long-running love-in with the sovereign people of Scotland.

Payback is expected to begin in the next couple of days and will be staggered over the next two years until the Neverendum embarrassingly fails.

Dr Thatz Dire, chair of the Scottish Parliamentary Lying Standards Committee said: “This is an excellent outcome for the Scots and reflects a commitment that nothing the Firstminster has to say will ever again be believed.”

Widye Believeit, political correspondent of AhDinnaeKen said: “The greatest deception men suffer is from their own opinions. And men have been deceived greatly by the Firstminster’s opinions on Europe .”

The settlement follows a ruling at the Scottish Court of Public Opinion earlier this week which witnessed more than one million Scots condemn the Firstminster for barefaced lying.

The ruling cleared the way for anyone in Scotland to see through the duplicity of Nationalist assertion.

In Scotland, due to doing things differently here, anyone will be able to scrutinise the Firstminster’s lies since the formation of the 79 Group.

Further scrutiny involving Sterling zones, Nuclear free zones, Ideology free zones, and Truth free zones are also under way and are expected to last till Autumn 2014.

Sophist, evader, deceiver, and disingenuous economist with the truth Wee Naebudy said: “Like oor pairty, wurds are chape, but aw the money in the world cannae buy back an exposed lie. Get ower it ya bams!”

Salmond: I am not a crook I am a barefaced liar

Whiter than white author of the Declaration of Arbroath (in terms of the debate) comes out fighting to clear up his crimes.

“If you tell a big enough lie and tell it frequently enough, it will be believed.” ― Adolf Hitler. So go back to your constituencies and prepare for automatic Euro entry, a nuclear free NATO Scotland and a sterling currency. Wahey!

By Widye Believeit

FIRSTMINSTER SALMOND cleared up confusion yesterday over claims that he is not a crook.

In a bold forthright combative defense of his reputation, Wee Eck said: “I am not a crook – in terms of the debate – I am a barefaced liar.

“Yes means No, Black is White, War is Peace, SNP Euro Policy is Credible – in terms of the debate and the legal advice which doesn’t exist but may have existed in my mind.”

Opponents were left dumbfounded when the Firstminster reported himself to his independent friends to clear his name.

The Firstminster has relied on the long grass ‘clear my righteous name’ independent standards committee five times previously.

It is believed that six is the Firstminster’s lucky number. Bookies declared, in terms of the debate, all bets are off.

Friends, liars and fellow crooks (in terms of the debate) have rallied in defense of the sovereign Scottish people’s self righteous leader:

Richard Nixon

“A public man must never forget that he loses his usefulness when he as an individual, rather than his policy, becomes the issue.”

Bill Clinton

“He did not have liar relations with that interviewer.”

`

`

`

Jeffrey Archer

We all make mistakes but one has to move on. What I have found is that real friends stand by you. Well done for sinking your career Nicola

Jonathan Aitken

If it fell to me to start a fight to cut out the cancer of bent and twisted journalism in your country with the simple sword of truth and the trusty shield of Scottish fair play, so be it.Be ready for the fight. The fight against falsehood and those who peddle it. Your fight begins today. Do you want a loan of my sword and shield? In terms of the debate they’re still in prison.”

Neil Hamilton

I am savouring every single minute of the current exposure of the sanctimonious hypocrites and bare faced liars who made so much political capital from so-called Nationalist sleaze in the present parliament.

Scottish Government set to impose ‘lie’ limit across Scotland

In the wake of the current Pantsonfiregate controversy creating a snowball in a scorched earth’s chance of the Neverendum succeeding, the Scottish Government’s Star Chamber attempts some serious firefighting. 

Firstminster Salmond explains just how large the ‘barefaced lie’ he telt to Andrew Kneel over legal advice really wiz.

By Sloedoon Yergauntoofast

LIE LIMITS are to be cut on dozens of whoppers stretching across the political spectrum in Scotland.

A review of the ‘big lies’, ‘barefaced lies’, ‘wee white lies’ and out and out ‘whoppers’ is long overdue says the Parliamentary Lie Standard Committee.

The review, ordered two days ago, also proposed strict limits on the frequency and importance of the lies.

The Scottish Government will now go ahead with introducing the lie limit reductions.

The public and Minsters hope that the first of the new lie limits will be brought in by the end of Firstminster’s Questions.

However, any lie limit will rely on the cooperation of the opposition parties and is therefore expected to be interpreted ‘Liberally’.

The Government has already ruled out imposing lie limits on the subjects of Europe, Sterling and Nuclear weapons.

A Government spokesperson explained that these areas are considered too important to have the truth told about them.

“If the Government tells the truth about any of these subjects, independence is deid in the watter.” said an anonymous Wee Naebudy. “And that’s jist no happenin’, get a grip.”

Barefaced liar, fibber, evader, deceiver and official Government spokesperson Wee Naebudy said: “These limits will not be as severe as expected, Minsters have been briefed that they can be ‘economical with the truth’ any time they wish.

“Jist so long as it’s no a barefaced lie recorded by the anti-Scottish Unionist biased British Brainwashing Corporation.”

Liar defends liar for being a liar: And that’s the truth

Despite the stushie and despite the accusations and counter accusations flying all over the place, AhDinnaeKen would never call the Firstminster a liar. Oh no! He is a Barefaced Liar. And that’s the Freedom of BBC Information truth.

“I’m not upset that you lied to me, I’m upset that from now on I can’t believe you.” – ― Friedrich Nietzsche. “…the best people to take decisions about Scotland are those who live here.” – Alex Salmond. I believe you Eck.

By Pantson Phire

SCOTLAND’S FIRSTMINSTER yesterday denied that his pants had caught fire.

The denial proved to be highly embarrassing as Firewoman Sturgeon attempted to put out the flames with gasoline.

“There’s nothing to see here.” she said. “Labour are just arson around and trying to impugn the anointed one for cheap political points.

“There is no smoke, there is no fire, there are no pants and even if there were pants they wouldn’t have been on fire because I didn’t take legal advice on Ministerial code pants combustion.”

In a recent first strike YooGuv poll, 75 per cent of Scots said they wouldn’t trust the Firstminster if he told them he was untrustable.

Fatcat ex-banker Pantsonfire Salmond said: “I lie to myself and the sovereign people of Scotland all the time. But I never believe me.”

 

 

We’re showing there isn’t such a thing as principle

Scotland remains at risk of everyone being labelled Tory unless SNP gets power to deal with the ‘enemies within’.

By Moan McVulpine – Putting the ‘hyp’ in hypocricy

THOSE OF you old enough to remember Margaret Thatcher will remember that the SNP voted for her to attain power at the expense of the country.

It was one of the SNP’s most shameful political actions and it crystallised the distrust of rational individuals for such an opportunist bunch of Tartan Tories.

The Tartan Tories, then as now, preferred to have someone to blame for Scotland’s ills. If something’s good take the credit, if it’s bad blame the Tories.

Or even better, blame Labour and caw them Tories an’ aw.

The SNP mock the idea that consultations are about ‘listening’ to the people. National Conversation, Gay Marriage, The Neverendum – they’ve played the people for mugs.

“The best people to rule Scotland are those who live here” went down particularly well with the Braveheart Commando divisions.

Until that is you look at Donald Trumpton – who lives here on a temporary basis – and the treatment he meted out to the decent ‘salt of the earth’ people of Menie.

It made us angry to be told that the needs of rich and powerful plutocrats Trumped the needs of the native Scots – especially when those plutocrats labelled our people ‘slum dwellers’ and ‘ugly’.

But hey ho. If your cheque book’s big enough, Alex Salmond will be your friend – so long as you’re prepared for a bit of mutual back scratching.

But enough of the sermonising.

Scotland got the measure of Salmond during the Trumpton affair. An unprecedented Trumping of local democracy in order to ingratiate himself – like a bitch on heat – to corporate power.

What protection for Scotland when the so called ‘saviour’ of the nation is prepared to sell his ‘people’ out to such sociopathic disrespecters of native Scots.

But, until Salmond get’s real power, Scotland still has a chance to save herself from the carte blance corporate rape of her natural resources.

Moses Salmond, Auld Nick Sturgeon and their associated Nationalist powermongers are determined to finish what Trump started.

That means RIP Scotland.

The Scottish Republicans of Judea appear to have joined them – their leader Colin Foxy wants to end people’s right to live unmolested from corporations in their own homes.

They’ve even played along with the lip service pish of a ‘people’s consultation’.

As Kenny MacNaeskill said at conference: “I’m tired of principles. Principles don’t get ye power.

“Principle only gets ye sare feet fae tramping the streets wi’ ither principled and sincere hauf-wits.

“The time for principle is deid. We want power. Power’s whit it’s aw aboot ya dafties.”

SAOR ALBA fae the SNP.

COMEDY RELIEF

Murdoch’s Sun delivers first strike propaganda coup for Salmond

Murdoch’s corporate media empire fires up the gears of war designed to obliterate political defiance in the face of his media empire

“After Scottish independence, the Scots will be free tae dae whit they ur telt.” – Longshanker.   Here’s to freedom Salmond style. Saor Alba fae the SNP.

By Corprit Scotland

ALEX SALMOND is SEVEN HUNDRED times more popular with Rupert Murdoch than any of his nearest political rivals in the United Kingdom.

A poll of Times journalists found that 30 per cent of Scots will believe any pro-Nationalist pish written in a Murdoch newspaper.

That compares to a mere 96 per cent of Labourer supporters who wouldn’t believe anything – including the date – in a Dirty Digger rag.

Nat-o warmongering nuclear first strike militaristic swaggering bully boy Wee Naebudy said: “Who do you think you are kidding Mr Cameron, If you think auld Alba’s done.

“We are the boys who will play at big boy games, We are the boys who will bore the Scots insane.

“‘Cus who do you think you are kidding Mr Cameron, If you think Auld Alba’s done.”

A rewards based Panelbase poll said SNP hubris is now so high they actually appear to believe they will win the Neverendum.

The Nats currently stand delusionally alert at DEFCON 2 while everyone else is bored rigid at BORDOM 1.

Salmond’s post conference pledge: SNP to become an ideology free zone

War is Peace! Ignorance is Strength! Freedom is First Strike Military Slavery! Firstminster pledges to ditch idealism, principle and integrity in the event of NATO accepting Scotland into the “Let’s do it to them before they do it to us” nuclear club.

“There is no act of treachery or meanness of which a political party is not capable; for in politics there is no honour.” – Benjamin Disraeli. Weel din The Right Dishonourable Privy Cooncillor Sun King Alex of Salmond. Proud to be Scottish.

By Phurst  Strike

WEE WUMMIN Whiteout was the name of the atomic bomb dropped on Moses Salmond’s lap at the SNP party confrerence on Friday.

The Firstminster was roundly ‘Telt’ by Sandra Whiterthanwhite that he was a hypocrite and a cynical opportunist and she was gaun to haud him to account.

Alluding to the SNPs empty ‘fantasy’ land proposals such as automatic EU membership with no strings attached, Ms Whiterthanwhite said: “We want to see it in writing fae NATO.

“Alex isnae gaun tae get away wi’ this Whitewash for the sake of an unattributed opinion poll.

“Seventy-five percent of Scots believe that Alex and Angus Robberson would say that the sky was falling in if they thought it would gain more votes for independence. Eh – haud on a minit – they huv sayed that.”

In a further development, it was revealed that Angus Robberson had cleared with NATO top brass the right to “say what it takes” to get the independence job done.

Mr Robberson said: “Whit these eejit delegates don’t understand is that, if an independent Scotland even sounds like a threat to Faslane, then they’ll get the English to come up and gie us a doin.

“Sumthin they’d be mare than happy tae dae by the way. C’mon guys, let’s use the heid. We’re never gettin rid of nuclear unless the Americans say it’s awright. It’s jist a fact of life – realpolitik if you like – get ower it. Whit’s din is din.”

Mr Robberson has been widely tipped to say he “forgot” to ask NATO about a nuclear weapons free Scotland when the issue of ‘written proof’ is regurgitated at the SNP’s National Council in December.

In a devastating counter attack, Ms White said: “What a parcel of first strike rogues in a party. Bought and sold for American military hegemony gold.”

Firstministerial Salmond’s Nonsense – the abridged version

The chief contribution of Nationalism to human thought is its massive proof that Moses Salmond is a bore. AhDinnaeKen is ashamed to present the abridged version of the droneathon speech by the anointed one for the delectation and approval of his sovereign people. ZZzzzzzz!

“A thing moderately good is not so good as it ought to be. Moderation in temper is always a virtue; but moderation in principle is always a vice.” – Thomas Paine. Welcome to the SNP, the party of vice and compromised principles

By Moses Salmond

THIS IS how it was. I was on the platform yesterday – on a first ministerial platform with my kleptocratic warmonger ticket.

Anyway, several of these bleeding heart integrity types came up to me impudently doing their job and I just said to them. “Don’t you know who I am bawbags? I’m the Firstminster without principle” and they said “sure – and we’re the Gillies o’ Faslane! Get oot o’ this conference.”

There is a serious point for us and for Scotland. Why on earth do we allow this bunch of turncoat Laird Snouty Nationalists to be in positions of authority over oor country?

And why does the Scottish National Party believe they can survive getting into bed with a United States dominated tactical first strike nuclear alliance?

Delegates, when I laid doon my proclamations I spoke of the need to lay to rest oor alleged principles on weapons of mass destruction.

I said that I don’t trust any of ye’s especially they hauf witted fearties of sovereign Scotland.

It was distrust, based not on a result or a vote, but on the way I knew this party of oors would cave in on the pretence of having any principles.

And yesterday, have no doubt, we saw one of the finest sellouts of principle since Tony Blair (blessed be his name) sold out on Clause 4.

Conference, there are good reasons why the people of Scotland have placed their trust in the SNP over two Scottish elections – they despise the Tories and they can’t stand Labour.

Who else was left to vote for? The Lib-Dem whores? Stupit question – sorry!

Of coorse it wiz us – all things to all people. The everyman party.

Today, my people of Scotland know, because of the manner in which I have conducted myself, that I am a Firstminster of many faces and chins, more than capable of saying one thing while meaning another.

Friends, the two years that lie ahead are the most important in our party’s history and the most tedious in our country’s recent history. To secure a better future for our pension pots, for our corporate friends, for our egos.

A FUTURE WHICH STARTS WITH A BIG BOY ENDORSED VANITY PROJECT

Earlier this week I met with a Bullingdon Toff to sign THE DECLARATION OF CONTEMPT 2012.

AN AGREEMENT WHICH GIVES OOR BIG PARISH COONCIL UNCHALLENGED LEGAL AUTHORITY TO SPLIT THE COUNTRY, WHICH AGREES TO ANTAGONISE THE ENGLISH, DISRESPECTS THE OUTCOME’S REPERCUSSIONS AND COMMITS BOTH GOVERNMENTS TO TELL GREAT BIG LIES ABOUT EACH OTHER IN THE BEST INTERESTS OF WRESTING POWER FOR OURSELVES

DELEGATES, IT IS NOW A NONSENSEATHON FOR SCOTLAND

This vanity project creates that once in a career opportunism.

AND CONFERENCE, THAT INCLUDES THE NEW GENERATION 16 AND 17 YEAR OLDS, YOUNG SCOTS WHO CANNAE LEGALLY SMOKE, DRINK, BUY FIREWORKS OR PLACE A BET IN THE BOOKIES.

DELEGATES IT IS NOW COME AND HUV A GO IF YOU THNK YOU’RE HARD ENOUGH TIME FOR SCOTLAND.

(AhDinnaeKen interrupt: – this ‘NONSENSE’ drones on for pages and pages worth of Barnum statement drivel about how great the Scots are and how we are being held back by the imperialist subjugating oppressive yoke of the imaginary mankie tattie English etc etc etc…yawn yawn zzzzzzz. The following is an abridged version of the rest.)

FAIRER NATION…BASTARD ENGLISH…INCLUSIVE PROGRESSIVE PEOPLE…BASTARD ENGLISH TORIES…AMBITIOUS CONFIDENT SCOTS…JEALOUS BASTARD ENGLISH…SAOR ALBA…F**K OFF ENGLAND…PARCEL OF SNP EGOS…SNOOTY BULLINGDON TOFF BASTARD ENGLISH…WE SHALL OVERCOME…ENGLISH BASTARDS…KUMBAYA MY LORD…BASTARD ENGLISH…HUMAN DECENCY…OPPRESSIVE BASTARD ENGLISH.

Together, we say Yes. TO BURNING THE BUTCHER’S APRON AND DANCING TO REBEL FLUTE TUNES.

SAOR ALIBABA FAE THE SNP.