Tag Archives: alex salmond

Currency: Asset or assethole? You decide!

FIRSTMINSTER Salmond and, by definition, the Nationalists, consistently refer to currency as an “asset”. They argue that the sterling currency is as much an asset of Scotland’s as it is of England’s and rUK. It’s why their argument of ‘deny us our assets and we’ll ignore our liabilities’ (debts) holds such resonance for the indy committed. Unionists, as would be expected, say that currency isn’t an asset. So what is it? AhDinnaeKen disnae ken:

"The good fighters of old first put themselves beyond the possibility of defeat, and then waited for an opportunity of defeating the enemy." - Sun Tzu.  Looks like Salmond will be waiting for a while.

“The good fighters of old first put themselves beyond the possibility of defeat, and then waited for an opportunity of defeating the enemy.” – Sun Tzu.  Looks like Salmond failed at the first.

By Izzit Tangible

ON YESTERDAY’S BBC Marr show, Firstminster Salmond said “if you claim ownership of all of the United Kingdom assets like the Bank of England and the currency then you end up with all the liabilities!”

A clear threat that an indy Scotland under the Firstminster’s rule would default on its debt should it be denied a currency union with rUK.

His statement also begged the question, just who is the bully, bluffer and blusterer and is currency an asset?

Here’s what AhDinnaeKen’s extensive investigations found ie we* trawled the internet.

In 2001, Kathy Mann, Director of the Office of the Fiduciary Advisor at State Street Global Advisors concluded:

“However for all intents and purposes, active currency has zero correlation to the major equity and fixed income asset classes.”

That’s a naw. It isnae an asset.

The website ETF.com (Electronically Traded Funds) opens an article entitled ‘Currency: The Overlooked Asset Class’ like this:

“International currency is the largest and most liquid asset class in the world.”

That’s an uncontestable aye. It is an asset.

The implication by ‘The Bankwatch’ is clear here:

“I think there is a lot of confused thinking about Bitcoin.  I believe today it is an asset and not a currency.  That view is supported by first Germany, and now Norway.”

It strongly implies currency is not an asset.

And then there’s an overall balanced argument as put forward here by Advisor.ca:

“On the one hand, there are those who argue that currency is either its own asset class or a subset of alternative asset class, giving it a place in modern portfolio theory.

“In the other camp are the traditionalists who say currency has no inherent value, and as a result is not an asset class in the same way stocks and bonds are.”

The conclusion is clear. Nobody, not even the experts in the field, knows for sure.

In Firstminster Salmond’s case, it comes down to that old faithful of committed indy supporters – trust.

If you trust Salmond, currency is an asset.

If you don’t trust him, it’s not.

If you neither trust him nor distrust him, then it’s mebbe’s it is, mebbe’s it isnae.

The whole argument is moot though.

And it’s ever so slightly offset by the fact that the Tories, the Lib-Dems and the Labouring party aren’t prepared to have a currency union whether it’s an asset or an intangible or a barrel of Brent sweet.

As if it needs repeated, the currency union rejection by the indy opposition has effectively sunk the Yes campaign.

The Nationalists present campaign strategy is of manning the lifeboats and seeing how many survivors they can muster before the whole ship ignobly sinks.

Yesterday’s attack on Andrew Marr by the Firstminster is symptomatic of that contingency strategy.

He knows he’s lost, it’s just a matter of regrouping and re-enthusing the faithful for yet aother push later on – no doubt with a different leader.

And, of course, culprits such as the BBC will always be there to take the blame due to their intangible bias and bullying.

Because that’s the only way right minded people would consider any other alternative than voting Yes. Right kids?

Gie’s a len o’ a poun mister!

Advertisements

5 Comments

Filed under Economy, Referendum

Salmond, Marr and the Charge of the Indy Light Brigade

Who is going to take the blame for the Firstminster’s poor recent showing on the Marr show? The BBC by the looks of it. AhDinnaeKen investigates:

Salmond Charge of Indy Light Brigade

“Theirs not to make reply, Theirs not to reason why, Theirs but to do and die.” – The White Paper. P.1650, Oliver Cromwell Salmond.

By Lord Hustae Blame-Sumbdy

ANOTHER DAY and yet another sign that the Nationalists are losing the war of independence.

Lord Cardigan Salmond declared Lord Marr of Mediabias to be a cad and an instrument of ‘opinion’ in the destruction of the Indy Light Brigade’s charge for European Union.

Maintaining the delusion that his charge offensive – directed at the guns of the Currency and European Union brigade – should have been effective, Lord Salmond accused Lord Marr of Mediabias of hindering his ad hoc plan.

There will be “consequences” said Ensign Wishart of No-Consequence.

And there were.

The BBC published the story in full and said “Lord Cardigan Salmond, do your worst. Even with Master Bateman of Bitterness on your side, you’ll not intimidate us. Put up or shut up. Don’t you know a man with a grievance is a bore?”

There now follows the complete undabridged pathetically plagiarised poetic statement by Lord Tennyson Marr on Lord Cardigan Salmond’s folly and the magnificently futile Charge of the Indy Light Brigade:

1.

Half a league, half a league,
Half a league onward,
All in the valley of Death
Rode the thirty three per cent.
“Forward, the Indy Light Brigade!
“Charge for the biased media!” he said:
Into the valley of Death
Rode the thirty three per cent.

2.

“Forward, the Indy Light Brigade!”
Who to a man were dismay’d!
Not tho’ the Cybernats knew
Someone had blunder’d:
Theirs not to make reply,
Theirs not to reason why,
Theirs but to blame the media and die:
Into the valley of Referendum Death
Rode the thirty three per cent

3.

Tories to the right of them,
Labour to the left of them,
Media Sceptics in front of them,
Bluffed and blustered,
Storm’d at with Realpolitik shot and shell,
Boldly they rode not so well
Into the jaws of Referendum Death
Into the mouth of political Hell
Rode the thirty three per cent

4.

Flash’d all their assertions bare
Flash’d as they turn’d in air,
Sabring the media there,
Charging an army, while
All of Europe wonder’d:
Plunged in the media bias-smoke
Right thro’ the swine, thought they broke
Journalist and Presenter
Laughed at the sabre rattling stroke
Shattered and sunder’d
Then they rode back, but not
Not the thirty three per cent

5.

Tories to the right of them,
Labour to the left of them,
Media Sceptics in front of them,
Bluffed and blustered,
Storm’d at with Realpolitik shot and shell,
Boldly they rode not so well
Came thro’ the jaws of Referendum Death
Back from the mouth of political Hell
All that was left of their career
Left of the thirty three per cent

6.

When can their glory fade?
O the wild charge they made!
All of Europe wondered.
Laughed at the charges they made,
Scoffed at the Indy Light Brigade,
The ineffectual thirty three per cent.

Shamelessly plagiarised from Poems of Alfred Tennyson,
J.E. Tilton and Company, Boston, 1870

Leave a comment

Filed under Media, Referendum

Why #IndyRef is a bore in seven quotes.

FOLLOWING THE events of the recent week or so in the indyref debate, AhDinnaeKen presents some highly selective quotes chosen at random which sum up, in anticipation, this editor’s creeping torpor and sense of trepidation at the inevitable tedious grievance fuelled acrimony to come:

The unphotoshopped turned up eyes of contempt of Stuart Hosie after being questioned by an uppity anti-Scot on his party's post indy tax plans. Not very braw look, is it?

The unphotoshopped turned up eyes of contempt of Stewart Hosie after being questioned by an uppity anti-Scot on his party’s post indy tax plans. Not very braw look, is it?

By Longshanker aka @ergasiophobe

“A man with a grievance may easily become a bore, and this may be true of a nation with a grievance.”Claim of Scotland, HJ Paton 1968

Correct! Never a truer word said. There’s a sizable minority of Scots just now who are boring the rest to bitter screaming tears of monotony. The referendum is giving these bores a collective voice which has droned on and on for what is literally years now – it feels like decades. It’s not exciting, it’s not convincing and it’s not inspiring. It’s exceedingly boring and sometimes it feels like it’s a deliberate Nationalist ploy. The SNP do better in votes with low turnouts, so it makes sense for them to bore everyone but the most committed and fervent to tears.

“…and it is now likely that transfer of North Sea oil to Scottish ownership would occasion much bitterness in England if not an attempt to forcibly prevent it.”The Hallowed McCrone Report 1975.

The howls of outrage etc at Bullingdon Chancer Osborne’s declaration of “economic warfare” appeared to come as a surprise to some. McCrone predicted it back in the day and, with the spectre of independence having raised its inevitable head, the UK state has acted in kind.

What did the Nationalists expect? Kid gloves? Automatic indy? A velvet divorce? Think again laddies. Years of acrimony and, not so petty, petty squabbles are on the cards for god knows how long. Hurrah! Bet you can hardly wait.

"Nationalism is power hunger tempered by self-deception." - George Orwell.  We do things differently here apparently.

“Nationalism is power hunger tempered by self-deception.” – George Orwell. We do things differently here – apparently.

“No one wiff (sic) a semblance of understanding of Scottish history and indeed the Scottish character would have made a speech such as the one the chancellor delivered last week.”Alex Salmond, Business for Scotland speech, 17 Feb 2014

AhDinnaeKen agrees with the sentiment of the Firstminster’s statement. The Bullingdon Chancer of the Excequer’s visit to Edinborrow rankled. Hardball politics usually does. It strips away the veneer of the daily fluffy ‘reality’ most of us like to live with and leaves you staring directly at the raw naked ugliness of aggressive state power. Not nice.

But, Salmond could just as easily have been saying the above in terms of himself.

Attending conveniently unrecorded meetings with corporate media moguls in order to lobby for monopolies against the greater public interest is questionable at best, despicable at worst. Given that Salmond’s reward would have been a positive headline or two in a newspaper which is almost as equally despised as it is loved, it makes you wonder about the lip service paid to the ‘sovereignty’ of the Scots by the likes of Salmond.

A sizable minority of Scots don’t forget actions like that. Nor do they forget being lied to over legal advice, nor witnessing firsthand Scottish natives being walked over roughshod by the Firstminster in order to further American tycoon’s business interests. And it’s worth remembering that that action turned out to be for the greater good – we don’t think.

“Can we stop having English Tory MPs turning up in Edinburgh to bully the Scots and to poison the relationships between Scotland and England.”Stewart Hosie MP 18 Feb 2014 The Referendum Debate – BBC Scotland

Professor Adam Tomkins (a despicable Unionist) of Glasgow University said, in relation to the Nationalists: “…their strategy has changed. No longer seeking new votes (nor to win) but merely to shore up their core.”

Hosie’s core message in his referendum debate statement is clear. It’s a sure sign that the Nationalists are resorting to type. The enemy, as far as they are concerned, is the Auld Enemy. The English Tory MP referred to, of course, was the Bullingdon Chancer, George Osborne.

Much as the Chancer represents a branch of politics which is allegedly anathema to the majority of Scots, he is still the second most powerful politician in the land.

The Nationalists never had, and probably never will have, a mandate to declare UDI or dictate who can or cannot visit Scotland’s capital city. Therefore the Chancer has as much democratic right to deliver speeches wherever he wants in the United Kingdom – be that London or Edinburgh or wherever – as anyone else.

For a bitter and twisted Nationalist like Hosie to imply that Gideon has no place in Scotland is what is really ‘poisoning’ the debate and it’s sure to spoil the relationship between the two major regions of the UK. It begs the question, just how cordial will those negotiations with rUK be in a future independent Scotland?

Luckily, there are more temperate pro-indy voices in the debate:

Ever alert to the poison of Nationalist sentiment, Patrick Harvie calls for more temperate language and constructive debate.

Ever alert to the poison of ‘othering’ and  Nationalist sentiment, Patrick Harvie called for more temperate language and constructive debate.

“I think it might be a good idea to avoid that kind of language, even if people feel that George Osborne’s intervention was not constructive.”Patrick Harvie – 18 Feb 2014 The Referendum Debate – BBC Scotland.

Stated to directly counter Hosie’s unpleasantness, Mr Harvie may represent a party which makes less of a connection with Scots voters than UKIP, but his voice in the indy debate articulates the feelings, hopes and emotions of many less zealotous participants in the referendum’s politicking. Harvie knows exactly the type of sentiments and forces that crass unbridled statements such as Hosie’s are capable of unleashing into the populace at large.

He further added:

“Ask better of all your politicians on both sides than that kind of language.”Patrick Harvie – 18 Feb 2014 The Referendum Debate – BBC Scotland

Well said Mr Harvie. For the thousands of voters out there who find the impending anti-Scots, anti-English rhetoric of the Nationalists tasteless, dangerous and unbecoming of pretenders to the crown, your temperance, assurance and political emollience is a welcome antidote to the tedious abrasiveness so far witnessed/suffered/endured by everyone else.

“Labour’s devolution plans were lost and, in the aftermath, SNP MPs helped to eject the government by opposing it in a vote of confidence. The Conservatives won the resulting general election, and went on to hold office for the following 18 years. Throughout the 1980s and early 1990s Scottish home rule was resolutely off the Western agenda.”The 1997 Scottish referendum: an analysis of the results.

Nationalism by its very nature is myopic. The practitioners of its blacker arts are narrowly focussed on a single goal and cannot see beyond those limited parameters.

Anyone with half a brain and an ounce of compassion in their soul could see what was coming with Thatcher the milk snatcher in 1979. And the great irony of the SNP’s treachery against their own sovereign people was that they were the main proponents in assisting her to achieve her smash and power grab on the great Scottish oil bonanza of the 1980s. Oh, the black black irony at the consequences of their actions.

Onyhoo, the Nationalists lack of foresight, more than anything else, is a phenomenon which has remained consistent since 1979 to the present day. Worth remembering post September 18.

Gollum forgot everything, including his humanity, in pursuit of the ring of power. A quintissential Nationalist in outlook.

Rev Gollum forgot everything, including his humanity, in pursuit of the ring of power. A quintissentially Nationalist trait and outlook.

“After some of the cross-border ugliness and bad feeling that’s been whipped up by the actions of Unionists lately, the only outcome of the referendum that will allow the people of Scotland and England to regard each other with dignity and mutual respect in the future is a Yes vote. Crawling pathetically back to London with our tail between our legs won’t do it.”Wings Over Scotland – any day of the week

And then we have the alleged grass roots antidote to mainstream media bias in the form of poisonous, hate-preaching, relentlessly boring websites such as Wings Over Scotland.

Loved by its acolytes as much as it is laughed at by everyone else, the Napoleon complexed, Gollum lookalike, editor of the site injects grievance, poison, bitterness, acrimony, falsehood, fraudulence and McCarthyite tendencies into the veins of the minority online section of the indy debate.

Yet, worryingly, senior Nats not only encourage such sentiments, they actively endorse them; Nicola Sturgeon, Roseanna Cunningham, Joan McAlpine, Ewan Crawford, Christine McKelvie, Angus MacNeil and, of course, anti-English Stewart Hosie, to name but a few.

With words like “cowardly” entering the lexicon of political debate from the upper echelon of the Natterati, it’s no surprise that sites like Wings take succour and flourish.

The danger for the indy minded acting as apologists for the site’s constant stream of bilious hatred and tediously boring grievance is, that they remain blind to and oblivious of the consequence of much of what Wings is actually saying.

To paraphrase Firstminster Salmond above, Scots don’t like being referred to as “cowards” or “pathetic” or “snivelling” by people who don’t even have the balls to live in Scotland. It shows a grave misunderstanding of Scottish history and character to think that calling more than half of the population “cowards” and “cringing pitiful scum” will be productive and convincing.

For the righteous and already convinced it may be so. For everyone else it’s a repugnant, albeit laughable, turnoff.

It’s why, the recent change of strategy by the Nationalists to resort to type ie castigating the ‘English’ as the enemy is bad news for everyone. Political debate will become increasingly fraught and polarised. More heat than light will be generated and, no matter the result in September, the country will be plunged into the socio-political darkness of blame, counter blame and recrimination. Or something equally as unpleasant.

Grievance is a bore. Actively nurturing that grievance for political advantage eventually stops being a bore and becomes dangerous.

Let the Nationalists inspire you with their vision of freedom’s hinterlands by all means. But as soon as they start talking of cowardly English or Scots, challenge them head on.

Such sentiment has no place in the debate. That it’s beginning to take centrestage is more than boring – it’s a real and present danger.

From bottom to top to bottom again, like begets like. Weel din Nicola, nice to know you're a fan of the Wingnuts.

From bottom to top to bottom again, like begets like. Weel din Nicola Sturgeon, nice to know you’re a fan of the Wingnuts hate preacher.

2 Comments

Filed under Diplomacy, Referendum, Wangs Watch

Moan McVulpine: A land fit for heroes and Nationalists

MOAN SAYS that Bullingdon toff David Cameron’s planned celebrations of the Great War will help the Nationalists in their Quest for Grievance.

Moan McVulpine Banner

By Moan McVulpineputting the grief in grievance

SCOTLAND LOST a higher proportion of its young men in the Great War than England, according to Joan McCarthyalpine.

That means we* have even more right to feel aggrieved against our Westminster overlords than anyone else in the UK she implies.

She has a point to a degree. Claiming that Scots reacted with horror at £50 million plans to celebrate the Great Carnage, she deliberately misses out the reaction from the rest of the country.

With her usual lack of nuance, she would have us believe that the English will be wholeheartedly behind the celebrations. Doesn’t she remember the million man march against the proposed war in Iraq?

Moan doesn’t think so.

Or maybe she’s being selective with facts to build yet another grievance narrative against the basturt English.

It certainly seems that way.

Like most wars, the Great War was fought over protection of trade rights, resources, power and prestige.

Why anyone – apart maybe those from the playing fields of Eton – would want to celebrate the start of such wanton slaughter leaves you breathless.

But it’s worth remembering that General Haig, a man celebrated with his own statue in Edinburgh, was a bona fide Scotsman.

He executed a strategy of ‘attrition’ without variation over a period of three years on the Western Front. This ensured the consistent misery, death and horror witnessed in the trenches over that period.

Commanders like Haig used to refer to daily casualty reports as “wastage”.

It didn’t matter to him whether you were Scots, Irish, English, Welsh or from the Empire.

Who knows what the casualty rate would have been without such a patriotic Scotsman at the helm.

And, worth remembering, Haig still managed to increase trade on his whisky company’s interests while he gaily sent young men to their premature deaths.

Like most of her tirades, it’s not so much what Joanie says that tells the story. It’s whit she disnae say.

And that’s just like the Nationalists from top to bottom.

How many freedom loving Nationalists do you hear protesting that Firstminster SuperSalm should be raising the Tibetan case with the Chinese authorities?

Instead we have a Tweet celebrating the news that, for the first time, the Chinese population will get the chance to watch live Scottish football games. Woohoo!

I bet the Tibetans are happy about that.

COMEDY RELIEF

"I swear I will do everything in my power to change the situation in Tibet where human rights are being suppressed. Tibet seeks freedom and democracy and we agree on those values." - Shinzo Abe.  Pity SuperSalm won't "bang some heads" over this problem.

“I swear I will do everything in my power to change the situation in Tibet where human rights are being suppressed. Tibet seeks freedom and democracy and we agree on those values.” – Shinzo Abe. Pity SuperSalm won’t “bang some heads” over this problem.

2 Comments

Filed under Moan McVulpine, Uncategorized

Moan McVulpine: How SuperSalmond demonstrated the future of things to come

MOAN reckons Firstminster SuperSalm singlehandedly saved Skintland and Grangemouth in one fell swoop.

Moan McVulpine Banner

By Moan McVulpinePutting the myth into mythologising

THEY DIDN’T bend over backwards and let Ineos do unspeakable things to Skintland, but it felt like it when Unite unconditionally capitulated to every demand put forward by the chemical giant at Grangemouth.

Talk about the feeling of powerlessness in the face of corporate power – this was a powerful demonstration of the impotence behind being ‘put in your place’.

And now, the mythologising, the lionising of Salmond’s role in this throwback to 1920s industrial relations will take on a new representation.

Particularly with the Nationalists.

Take Anti-Scots Finder General, Joan McArthyalpine, and her latest éloges resplendissantes of SuperSalm’s alleged action in the saving of Skintland, the workforce and the Ineos petro-chemical plant.

The term “bashing heads“, “cajoling“, “negotiating“, “secret talks” are all power words bandied about as if anything other than ‘pleading‘, ‘begging‘, ‘surrendering‘ and ‘pandering‘ had anything to do with Ineos’s perceived volte face on the closure of Grangemouth.

We also have the Thatcherite phrase “tough talks” thrown into the mix in relation to SuperSalm’s alleged negotiations with Unite.

Ho hum, you can try and take the Tory out of Tartan Tory but at times of crisis it always slips back into its natural place.

A little light reading between the lines reveals next to nothing other than bluster, supposition and whataboutery.

Salmond allegedly convened “secret talks” with a prospective buyer. The inference being that if Ineos shut the plant down the secret buyer would step in and save the day. The Nationalist myth now being created suggests this somehow gave SuperSalm leverage in talks with Ineos. Haw haw!

No one’s denying the meeting took place, but it had to in order for SuperSalm to present the perception to the gullible public that his actions were anything other than supine surrendering to Ineos.

According to McArthyalpine, SuperSalm negotiated a £40 million subsidy for Jim Ratcliffe’s gas bill. Some may see that as compassionate, Ratcliffe is down to his last couple of billion after all and needs all the millions he can get, but this takes lieing down and letting yourself get kicked to another level.

Oh that SuperSalm could use his energy contacts to do such a thing for the rest of us mortals inhabiting the country. Or the people facing eviction due to the bedroom tax.

But Salmond’s messenger boy role between Unite, the UK government and Ratcliffe’s Ineos is now taking on a whole political legend momentum of its own.

No longer can it be claimed that Salmond is obsessed by his vanity project.

No longer can it be claimed that his secret dealings with the corporates help further his own career.

And no longer can it be claimed that Salmond doesn’t have the best interests of Salmond in mind

If anything, SuperSalm proved that he’s learned from his bitch slapping by Diageo in 2009.

He’s learned that total and unconditional surrender to the demands of greedy corporate exploitation is the only way to deal with people holding real power.

That’s why he bent over backwards for Ineos.

That is the future deal for Skintland.

And that’s why we need a Yes vote next year.

COMEDY RELIEF

Leave a comment

Filed under Moan McVulpine

A tribute to SuperSalm – superhero of the Nationalist class

Poor wee Skintland. Not only is it rich in natural resource, as we found out last week, it is also rich in Superheroes. AhDinnaeKen investigates:

Superheroes give us hope for the future. Thanks to SuperSalm we know what to look forward to - total capitulation.

Superheroes give us hope for the future. Thanks to SuperSalm we know what we can look forward to – total capitulation to corporate muscle flexing.

By Deecee McComics

Narrator: Faster than a speeding sloth. More powerful than a loco Labour party. Able to leap on parliamentary aides in a single bound.

Average Jock 1: Look! Up in the headlines! It’s a turd.

Jock Wummin: It’s insane!

Average Jock 2: It’s SuperSalm!

Narrator: Yes, it’s SuperSalm. Strange visitor from another parliament, who came to Skintland with powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal men. SuperSalm, who can change the course of mighty corporations, bend intransigent Unions in his bare hands. And who, disguised as a bloated Politician and profligate Firstminster of a mediocre Parish Cooncil, fights a neverending battle for troof, corporatism and the Tartan Tory way. And now, another sleep inducing episode in the adventures of SuperSalm:

SuperSalm and the capitulation of ordinary people to evil corporations

Narrator: There’s trouble brewing at the Petro-chemical plant. Benevolent international corporate tax avoiders need to put troublesome native workers in their place. Lex Luffer-Ratcliffe requires assistance in holding the country to ransom while shafting his workforce and simultaneously getting the taxpayer to gift him with trouser loads of risk free money.

Average Jock 1: No one in the world is capable of doing that!

Jock Wummin: Yer probably richt!

Average Jock 2: It’s time to call for SuperSalm!

SuperSalm: Stand aside keachy mortals! I shall use my superpowers to give Lex Luffer-Ratcliffe everything, and more, that he wants.

Narrator: SuperSalm and super little helper Lois Lane-Swindley do everything in their power to help shaft their own citizens.

SuperSalm: Another victory for corporate backscratching. I shall bask in the Nationalist mythologising of this victory for indecency and ‘civic progressive’ values for many months to come.

Look forward to more of this supine capitulation to corporate power Jock citizens. We will break free from the imperialistic yoke of the evil empire. Better a corporate slave than a Unionist slave.

Narrator: Next week we shall follow the adventures of SuperSalm as he demonstrates the best methods to keep parliamentary aides satisfied while still maintaining a ‘happy marriage’ with his super mum/wife.

1 Comment

Filed under Economy, Education

Supermarket puts political mental patient costume on sale

BASDA basks in the limelight after proud claims that a fancy dress costume for sale on its website stigmatises political health problems.

How scary's that? BASDA are proud of their scariest costume in 300 years.

How scary’s that? BASDA are proud of their scariest costume in 300 years.

By Parcella Roges

SUPERMARKET CHAIN BASDA will withdraw an item advertised as a “political mental patient fancy dress costume”, following a barrage of praise and criticism.

The costume, which is designed to look like a credible politician, was put on sale to corporate fatcats for “backscratching favours” through the supermarket’s secret deals arm, Clandestine Operations.

Many people took to Twitter to add their penny worth for Scotland.

Charity ‘Go Homeward Tae Think Again’ posted on its Twitter account: “Well done BASDA. That’s the scariest costume you’ve sold in 300 years. The Basturt English will think twice before messing with us.”

Former spin doctor Kevin Bagapringles also commented: “Look what BASDA’s selling… #projectfeartie strikes back.”

The chain posted on its own Twitter account: “We’re deeply proud our fancy dress costume has put the willies up people. This was a calculated act guaranteed to frichten friends and foes alike.”

A spokesperson said the decision was a calculated act guaranteed to put £500 extra pounds sterling in every Scottish citizen’s pocket.

The costume is expected to be withdrawn on 19th September 2014

2 Comments

Filed under Culture