Monthly Archives: March 2013

An open challenge to Joan McAlpine MSP

Joan McAlpine accuses AhDinnaeKen of hate preaching, libel and smears. The Parliamentary Liaison Officer further compounds the accusation by stating that Longershanker would be charged if his identity was exposed. Do I smell a challenge or is is just standard Tu Quoque politico pish on a plate? AhDinnaeKen takes a look.

"If you call your opponent a politician, it's grounds for libel." - Mark Russel.  Indeed. Joan's an alleged politician alright. A Nationalist McCarthyite style politician.

“If you call your opponent a politician, it’s grounds for libel.” – Mark Russel. Indeed. Joan’s a politician alright. A Nationalist McCarthyite style politician.

By Longershanker

OOER READERS, another case of the Potty throwing stones in the glasshouse at the kettle.

This time, it’s Joan McAlpine, Parliamentary Liaison Officer to the First Minister doing the casting of the first stones.

On Easter Sunday too. Tsk tsk. If you had shame Joan, you should hide your head in it.

AhDinnaeKen will come straight to the point now that the preliminary pleasantries are out of the way.

Take a look at the Tweets above and then consider the following:

Joan Tweets a link to her 6,000+ followers pointing them to a Wangs piece which exposes Labour MP Ian Davidson fibbing on camera about his voting record on the bedrooom tax.

Woo hoo! Result for the SNP! They’ve been desperately trying to discredit and smear the ignoramus Scottish Affairs Committee bootboy for ages and now they’ve got him.

Smears, libel and lies

No fabrications by Dr Eilidh Whiteford MP required, no sustained below the line wormtongue whispers by Gail Lythgoe, Joan’s researcher, needed.

So far so good for the SNP smear machine. A citizen journalist (not WANGS), got Davidson where the £1 million plus SNP Star Chamber couldn’t.

But, and this is a big BUT. Take a closer look at Joan’s Tweet. It draws attention to Wangs, not the real disseminator of the exposee.

Why not? Surely such a scoop needs the correct attribution by a Parliamentary Liaison Officer?

A big question needing answered and, indeed, the reason AhDinnaeKen used our back up Twitter account to contact Joan.

The politician cannae take it captain
Joan blocked Ergasiophobe after this piece lampooned her record for wasting Parliamentary time. So the phrase “can gie it oot but cannae take it” comes to mind. But ho hum – I digress.

Longershanker asks Joan why endorse Wangs as the disseminator of the piece and uses the hashtag #endorsement to make a point.

The reply encapsulates everything which is wrong with Joan, the SNP and the Yes campaign – because, y’know, they’re more or less undiscernible (apologies to Patrick Harvie who is, of course, estimable).

In classic Tu Quoque politico mode, Joan makes the ridiculous claim that Longershanker would be charged if exposed. Ooer Missus!

In the context of the Tweet we* can only assume she means charged with, smearing, libel, hate preaching or anonymity.

The Challenge

So here’s the rub Joan. You have now committed the same alleged crime you accuse me of.

If you really believe I have a case to answer, have me charged.

I’ll hand myself into the nearest police station or lawyer’s office – wherever’s easiest – so that my real identity becomes known to you.

As, I suspect, your claim is just another empty, libellous, sham Nationalist assertion, I demand you apologise to me for so ably demonstrating  the attributes of smear, libel and #internetnutcase-ism.

And, just to show how fair minded, honest and tolerant I am, I even promise to apologise here over any alleged smears, libels, hate preaching etc., I’m alleged to have committed throughout the whole of my Twitter and  AhDinnaeKen career.

Oh. And one last word of wisdom, for free, to you Joan: You’re getting too long in the tooth to be a Tu Quoque tease these days.

Have another glass of Pinot Grigio or a wee white whine. You plainly haven’t had enough for the day.


Longshanker – Editor of AhDinnaeKen.


Filed under CyberNats, Opinion, Wangs Watch

Wangs Watch: Pot throws stones in glasshouse at kettle

Egoagogo contributors failed to call for a refund on their campaign for ahem, ‘professional journalism’ in Scotland last night. Ho hum. Check out this blatant case of a criminal lack of self awareness. Now that’s what I call ahem, ‘professional journalism’.

"It is a sad thing when men have neither the wit to speak well nor the judgment to hold their tongues." - Jean de la Bruyere. Hats aff tae Wangs. Nae wit and nae judgement. Now that's what I call ahem, 'professional journalism'.

“It is a sad thing when men have neither the wit to speak well nor the judgment to hold their tongues.” – Jean de la Bruyere. Hats aff tae Wangs. Nae wit and nae judgement. Now that’s what I call ahem, ‘professional journalism’.

By Longshanker

APOLOGIES FOR the repetition readers. But this couldn’t be ignored. A prime example of Wangs Over Skintland’s irony deficiency, lack of self awareness, and ahem, ‘professional journalism’ cybernat style.

Hate preaching bigot, Rev Stu-pid Campbell highlights a hilarious typo* in the Herald and uses it to denigrate real ‘professional journalism’.

Oh my aching sides!

The Herald piece refers to an “East Lothian” question instead of the West Lothian question. Laff, I nearly pished mahsel dry.

And the Rev’s comment re: Magnus Gardham writing his column with crayons – the  rapier wit is as sharp as a blunt thing – pity it only tells half the story.

Does that makes the Rev a half-wit? Answers written in crayon on a postcard please.

AhDinnaeKen regulars will be familiar with this laughable example of ahem, ‘professional journalism’ – the Rev’s basic schoolboy error in not knowing the difference between an Embassy and a Consulate.

If you’re not familiar, a brief reminder of the Rev’s pompous and sanctimonious factually incorrect bombast concerning embassies and consulates:

 “We’re not sure how the UK manages to have 270 embassies and consulates when there are only 206 sovereign nations on the planet. It would seem that there might be grounds for some pruning to be done there.”

Now that’s what I call ahem, ‘professional journalism’.

I’m going to be kind again (don’t thank me Rev, I’m that way inclined) and provide some friendly advice:

If you’re going to set yourself up as a paragon of fair mindededness while mocking and denigrating others for mistakes and typos, it is IMPERATIVE that you don’t make the same kind of category errors yourself.

Otherwise, you end up looking like a moron – a tedious cretinous moron.

Consider this advice another gift – AhDinnaeKen is nothing if not charitably generous.

Meanwhile, the first comment on the Rev’s hilarious send up of the Herald’s error encapsulates the group delusion of the Wangs Over Skintland commenters:

Can anyone clear this up? Is MacHaggis talking about Wangs or the Herald? Answers written in crayon on a postcard please.

Can anyone clear this up? Is MacHaggis talking about Wangs or the Herald? Answers written in crayon on a postcard please.

For more Wangs related witlessness click on the Wangs Watch category on the right.

* Of course it’s not an actual typo. But as anyone who’s ever been on tight writing deadline will tell you, errors like this crop up all the time.  As easy a mistake to make as a typo. Whereas going to bat on embassies and consulates while being totally utterly and categorically wrong is a much more serious and basic schoolboy journalistic error to commit. Sanctimonious preaching tutorial over.

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Filed under Wangs Watch

Wings Over Scotland: Hate preaching bigot or ahem, ‘professional journalist’? You decide.

Can hate preaching, no matter how articulate or allegedly eloquent, ever be called ahem, ‘professional journalism’? AhDinnaeKen doffs the trusty cap of fair minded and honest journalism (cough) and investigates the hate preaching sectarian bigot calling himself Rev Stuart Campbell.

[Reader warning: This piece is overly long by AhDinnaeKen’s standards. If you want to read the essence of the piece go to the subhead “Warning: The following contains distressing examples of a complete lack of ahem, ‘professional journalism.'”]

Pretentious? Moi?

Pretentious? Moi?

By Longshanker

I was going to write this some time ago and refer to a different blog piece to make my point. But, time, lack of interest and boredom got in the way. It was a short, concise and pithy quote which brought things into sharp focus and spurred me into action:

“Tolerance of intolerance is cowardice.”  ( Ayaan Hirsi Ali )

When I read this minimalist and elegant quote I realised that I could no longer tolerate the bile and hatred and intolerance which pours out of the so called ahem, ‘professional journalist’ of the Wings Over Scotland blog, Rev Stuart Campbell.

On 13 September 2012 the self proclaimed ‘media monitoring watcher of the watchmen’ vented his spleen in a manner which can only be described as revoltingly and repulsively abhorrent – beyond the ken of normal humanity.

The Rev Stu piece, ‘No justice for the 96‘, outlining the Rev’s alternative take on the Hillsborough disaster  exhibits a clear lack of spiritual and human empathy which actually made me feel sorry for this individual’s lack of soul or connectedness to his fellow human beings.

Any human being who could take the time out to write and articulate such a piece, calling Liverpool fans “murderous” killers and “reckless cretins” is clearly spiritually desolate, intellectually challenged and in need of a nervous system carrying those dual humane weaknesses of  emotion and empathy.

The empty vacuum in this individual’s life is plainly eased when he fills it with the type of  hatred, bigotry and gross ignorance witnessed in the ‘No justice for the 96’ hate piece.

Onyhoo, that’s enough of the Rev’s pathology, or lack, thereof. This AhDinnaeKen piece has been written to debunk one of the Rev’s oft repeated false homilies – namely that of being an ahem, ‘professional journalist’.

A brief foray into Wikipedia defines the aim of journalism as follows:

It is intended to inform society about itself and to make public, things that would otherwise be private.

Whereas the Rev’s ahem, ‘professional journalism’ tends to inform you more about the Rev’s personality and makes public things virtually no one else with an ounce of humanity would say in public. Conveniently, his ahem, ‘professional journalism’ exposes the deeply unpleasant schoolboy idiocy resident in the psyche of the self alleged ahem, ‘professional journalist’.

Basic journalism tutorial alert

The following paragraph long tutorial is for the Rev. Consider it my gift/donation to your campaign. You plainly need it much more than you need my pound:

Basic journalism runs along these lines: Check facts. Verify sources. Obtain quotes. Look for corroborating evidence in sympathy with or supportive of your original assertion. Then, when you’re sure of your facts and you’re sure your claim is sound, source a potential alternative view which possesses some sort of authority. In this instance an eye witness account would be perfect. Failing that, a quote from an expert in a subject, say, like crowd disasters or hydrostatics.

Tutorial over – the best pound sterling I’ve never spent.

When I first read No justice for the 96  I thought I was going to find something out about the Hillsborough disaster I had never known before. At the very least I expected an earth shattering revelation or two providing corroborating evidence that, as per one of the Rev’s claims, the pushing action of Liverpool fans was deliberately ‘murderous’ and caused the fatal crush in the middle Leppings Lane pens at Hillsborough.

I remembered, vaguely at first, another publication by News International which made similar headline claims quite a few years ago. The proprietor of that publication is still around now and he’s a prime ‘backscratching’ friend of Alex Salmond. But I digress.

Before anyone gets uppity and feels the need to leap to Rev Stu’s defence, consider the evidence being presented here first. I’m not writing this out of malice. I’ll confess to not liking the Rev. But, I feel sorry for him first and I couldn’t hate him because I don’t do hate. As Martin Luther King, Jr said: ” I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.”

AhDinnaeKen recently pointed out a laughable schoolboy error in a piece of the Rev’s attacking a low-grade propaganda leaflet published by the Better Together campaign. The same basic schoolboy error is made in ‘No justice for the 96’, though this time it isn’t laughable; it’s vile, hateful, abhorrent and disgusting. And, if the Rev knew shame, he would be ashamed.

Warning: The following contains distressing examples of a complete lack of ahem, ‘professional journalism.’

Consider the following accusation/assertion in Rev Stu’s ‘No justice for the 96’:

“At Hillsborough, EVERYONE pushing their way into the tunnel KNEW perfectly well that it opened into an enclosed area with no exits, hemmed in by overhanging steel fences, which minutes before kick-off was likely to already be crammed with people, and which took the inherently-hazardous form of a stairway.”

[Emphasis by AhDinnaeKen]

EVERYONE KNEW! Wow! This is an entirely false and tediously cretinously moronically hateful and unjustifiable assertion. If it were true, following the logic of the piece,  then EVERYONE forming part of the crush – including those being crushed in the tunnel –  is a homicidally “murderous” individual willfully contributing to the slaughter of their fellow fans with “lethal stupidity”.

Breathtakingly, the Rev later repeats just such an  assertion:

“The reality is much simpler, and required no lying – the fans were to blame because they, alone, were the ones who pushed and thereby caused the crush.”

Truly an earth shattering revelation – if remotely true.  But, for such a revelation to be truly earth shattering it needs to be, at least, partly true. The assertion needs some corroborative fact based empirical evidence behind it to, y’know, reinforce the heinous claim.

You can read ‘No justice for the 96’ as many times as you want – empirical evidential based facts backing up the sick hateful claim are notable by their complete absence. Nyada. Not a one. There is not one fact, no matter how strung out or remotely tenuous, available ANYWHERE in the piece to back up the Rev’s accusation that EVERYONE KNEW they were killing others and pushed regardless.

In fact the only evidence provided is the Rev’s own experience in a crush at a Barrowlands concert. And even here, we have no demonstrably empirical facts such as crowd density, crowd numbers, dimensions of venue, injuries, potential dangers, pressure equivalents or similarity to circumstances played out at Hillsborough.

No, the only evidence provided is that the Rev had space to move backwards by acting with the same kind of  anti-social recklessness and abandon he accredits to Liverpool fans:

“So I started jabbing my elbows and heels behind me, and worked my way back through the crowd to a safer spot near the sides.”

If you’ve got space to do that, then you’re not in a fatal crush situation. You’re nowhere near it. Survivors of the Leppings Lane pens spoke of being unable to move their arms – they were pinned in a vice like grip. They relate the extreme difficulty in breathing. Every breath is a desperate gulp for life and every exhalation potentially your last.

Now, this piece could go on, but it’s too long already. There’s plenty more in the Rev hate piece which could be debunked. But each time I read it I get angrier and sadder.

The reason I get angry is simple – I’m a human being with a nervous system. Some of the Rev’s lines are ghoulishly necrotic, relishing in the death throes of the damned at Hillsborough:

“And space was indeed created, from the only place it possibly could be – the rib cages of the people already on the terracing.”

“…the irresponsible, reckless cretins who pushed into a solid wall of bodies even as agonised screams cut the air in front of them.”

And the reason I get sadder is simple also. A soul or spirit has to be some kind of arid and desolately empty and driven by a pathological hatred of fellow human beings to write such fundamentally dishonest and hateful assertions.

Kelvin McKenzie was behind the Sun’s smear. What motivation lies behind the Rev’s?

It’s certainly not journalistic integrity or professionalism. The Rev is as much a ‘professional journalist’ as a small boy wearing a helmet, sitting in a cardboard box and making engine sounds, is a professional astronaut.

The Rev starts his ‘No justice for the 96’ with some risibly pretentious and sanctimoniously facile bombast which initially made me laugh out loud. He has the temerity to quote Orwell on journalism:

“Journalism is printing what someone else does not want printed: everything else is public relations.”

Assuming that the Rev has now allegedly reached his professional Egoagogo begging target, consider another quote from Mr Orwell:

“The nationalist not only does not disapprove of atrocities committed by his own side, but he has a remarkable capacity for not even hearing about them.”

No justice for the 96 is an atrocity toward journalism. It twists and mocks the basic fundamentals which make true professional journalism an absolute essential in a working democracy. No justice for the 96 demonstrates a motivation and intent driven by a pathological hatred which can fairly and squarely be labeled a hate crime.

Yet quite a few hundred fellow Nationalist independence sympathisers seem to think the Rev’s brand of hate preaching passes as ahem, ‘professional journalism’.

It would be funny if it didn’t so tragically fulfil some hackneyed old cliches and stereotypes regarding the communal delusion required for Nationalism to work.

If you donated your pound or more to the Rev’s Egoagogo campaign, you’re virtually as guilty as the Rev of hate preaching because you’re condoning it as acceptable. Hang your heads in shame and repent. I’ll forgive you. Don’t expect me to forgive the Rev.

I’ll finish with a quote from the Hillsborough Independent Panel (HIP) who painstakingly adjudicated on the amassed evidence of the Hillsborough tragedy:

“…the SYP Police Federation, supported informally by the SYP chief constable, sought to develop and publicise a version of events that focused on several police officers’ allegations of drunkenness, ticketlessness and violence among a large number of Liverpool fans. This extended beyond the media to Parliament.

“Yet, from the mass of documents, television and CCTV coverage disclosed to the panel there is NO EVIDENCE to support these allegations other than a few isolated examples of aggressive or verbally abusive behaviour clearly reflecting frustration and desperation.”

Worth remembering that the HIP sifted through a metaphorical and literal mountain of evidence to come to such a conclusion.

What empirical evidence based facts did the Rev provide for his polar opposite conclusion that the Liverpool fans were murderously culpable? None. Unless, of course, you count an anecdotal example of jostling in an uncomfortably crowded Barrowlands more substantial than the evidence available to the HIP.

Now that’s what I call ahem, ‘professional journalism.’

Get your money back Egoagogo suckers. You’ve been sold a pup.


Filed under Wangs Watch

Day of Dustbinry: In 18 months Scotland will be free of Salmond at last

Deputy Miss Leader Sturgeon outlined to the NSP Synod yesterday the growth in her imagination from none at age 16 to full blown fantasy and delusion now. AhDinnaeKen takes a closer look.

Take down issue. Please let me know your name and contact number, I will contact you.

Take down issue. Please let me know your name and contact number, I will contact you.

By Asprin Nation

THE NEXT 18 months will witness the dullest most stultifyingly boring episode of accusation and counter accusation in Scotland’s devolved history according to Deputy Miss Leader Sturgeon.

She declared to the Daily Ranger that the constitutional debate will open up social and political schisms in Scotland and the UK which could have far reaching consequences for years to come.

Miss Leader Sturgeon made the claim in her opening address to the Synod of the Converted, the Faithful and the Talentless assembled at InverYes yesterday.

She said: “There will be no stone left unturned, no straw left unclutched at and no chip on shooder grievance left unexploited before the next 543 days are out.

“If we can’t win the Neverendum by fair means, we will make sure we leave our impression on the country by foul.

I joined this pairty when I was 16 years old and never imagined for a minute that we would even get a sniff at a Neverendum.

“Look at me now, I imagine us getting automatic entry to the EU on our dictated terms while simultaneously keeping our independence in a Sterling zone free of Trident while sheltering under NATO’s nuclear umbrella.

“I may not have started out with much of an imagination then, but look at that exponential growth in fantasy output now. I’m making up for lost time! Thanks NSP.

Deputy Miss Leader Sturgeon is 82. She is currently set to undergo a  course of NHS Lothian treatment for dementia, hubris and florid hallucination.

Due to NHS cooking of the books she is expected to undertake her real reality treatment in approximately 78 weeks time, subject to political availability.

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Filed under Referendum

Majority of Scots are crazy – Sturgeon

AS everyone in Scotland now knows, there are actually two governments in Scotland: the public one where we are an oil rich, rhetoric rich, pantsonfire rich country and a private one where we need to cull pensioners to balance the books and can’t rely on oil to pay our debts. Sometimes the veil slips between the two. As witnessed last night on Better Together’s propaganda programme, Newsnicht, Tonyblair Jenkins of the Och Aye campaign and Deputy Miss Leader Sturgeon of the Nationalist Socialists let the veil drop that wee bit too far. AhDinnaeKen investigates.

"The insular arrogance of the Nationalist character is a commonplace joke." -Goldwin Smith. Weel din Sturgeon sark. We're aw laffin noo.

“The insular arrogance of the Nationalist character is a commonplace joke.” –
Goldwin Smith. Weel din Sturgeon sark. We’re aw laffin noo.

By Trufus Ootthare

THE MAJORITY of Scots living in Scotland are “crazy” it was revealed last night by Deputy Miss Leader Sturgeon.

Speaking to Gordon Pistoffina Brewery in a Newsnicht interview the Deputy Miss Leader let slip what the Nationalists really think of the Scots.

She said: “The argument about independence is about taking our own future into our own hands.

“If you were having this debate in any other country in the world, they would think you were CRAZY, because it’s the independence that other countries take for granted.”

Ditherers, don’t knowers and plain anti-independinistas all fall under the same label according to Miss Leader Sturgeon.

Gobsmacked by the statement, Pistoffina Brewery asked her to reflect on what she was saying.

He said: “Think about the implications of what you’re saying. You’ve just said that the majority of Scots are CRAZY!”

Miss Leader Sturgeon replied: “In terms of the debate you’re bloody too right. How dare those cringing spineless ungodly anti-Scots wurms defy us.

“Don’t they realise that we have destiny, momentum, righteousness, inclusiveness, progressiveness and the Ministerial Code on our side.

“The switherers and blasphemers will go to Tory Tory hell for this! Or London as we like to call it.”

In a separate panel interview, ex-BBC Tristram Tonyblair Jenkins of the Och Aye No the Noo campaign, let slip the contempt the Och Ayers have for Scotland’s plasticine parliament.

Replying to a Brewery question on what would be a convincing argument to persuade Scots to vote Och Aye he said:

“The UK is on a direction of travel that most Scots don’t want to follow. Look at Devolution – manufactured in London endured in Scotland.”

At this statement Brewery nearly pished hissel laughing. A small roar of laughter was heard rippling down Scotland from Pacific Quay to Berwick and back up again to John o’ Groats.

Scotland’s Day of Dustbinry will take place on 18th September 2014.

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Filed under Newspeak, Referendum

Is today the most historic day in the history of history ever?

Today is likely to be considered the third or fourth or fifth or maybe even sixth most historic day in the history of history ever. It follows the launch of the Och Aye campaign, the Declaration of Contempt and the Day of Destiny when Murdoch’s Bitch Salmond revealed the date of the Neverendum in the first ever Sunday Sun. Ho hum.

“Some have learnt many Tricks of sly Evasion, Instead of Truth they use Equivocation, And eke it out with mental Reservation, Which is to good Men an Abomination.” - Benjamin Franklin.

“Some have learnt many Tricks of sly Evasion, Instead of Truth they use Equivocation, And eke it out with mental Reservation, Which is to good Men an Abomination.” – Benjamin Franklin.

By Histry Onics

TODAY IS a landmark day in the history of the world, perhaps even the universe.

Today is a landmark day when freedom loving people from across the planet politic will be able to look back and say “I was there.”

Today is a landmark day which captures the spirit of the zeitgeist and will allow people to reflect on their hopes and asprin-nation.

Today is the landmark day that Twitter turns seven.

That’s right! Twitter is seven years old today.

Oh! And Murdoch’s Bitch will peddle the second hand news which the Scottish Sunday Sun revealed over a year ago.

Ho hum. Scotland’s trembling with bored stupor giving us a headache.

More an asprin-nation than an aspiration.

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Filed under Newspeak, Referendum

Scottish Sun confirms Salmond has nae baws

Scottish politicians might think they hold the moral high ground over the press in Scotland. AhDinnaeKen fearlessly investigates using old-fashioned fair-minded and honest reporting.

“When in doubt chicken out.” ― Robin Jones Gunn.  Tips hat to Naebaws Salmond, a clucking naebaws coward.

“When in doubt chicken out.” ― Robin Jones Gunn. Tips hat to Naebaws Salmond, a clucking naebaws coward. Cluck cluck!

By Salmy Naebaws

THE SCOTTISH government rolled over and wagged its tail in the direction of Goebbels Murdoch yesterday – signalling that Murdoch’s Bitch Salmond has nae baws.

Last week Salmond acted like Alpha dog by commending the findings of the  McCluckskey report into the shackling of the free press.

But, as soon as the Sun growled, he rolled over on his back to show the lack of baws he disnae possess.

Murdoch’s Bitch Salmond whined: “It wisnae me, it wis Lord McCluckskey, please don’t give up supporting me for the Neverendum.

“The bad boys at the Daily Ranger, Hootsman and Heraldic urnae giein’ me a chance.

“They’re scrutinising everything we dae and it’s no very nice.”

To ensure there was no doubt in Goebbels Murdoch’s mind, ex-Education Minster Fiona Hyslip was commanded to ingratiate the plasticine parliament in deference to the Sun.

She said: “We are going to do the usual Nationalist trick. When things get too hard for us in the plasticine parliament, let the big boys at Westminster take responsibility for us.

“Then, when things go wrang, we can blame them and look great in the eyes of the true Scots Nationalist public.”

Lib-Bent leader Will-he Wont-he burbled: “This is a most humiliating climb down for Murdoch’s Bitch.

“It just shows you the mutual respect the Sun disnae huv fur him.”


Filed under Media, New Bills, Newspeak