Monthly Archives: November 2015

Shoot to Kill: Hosie’s radical new SNP policy for traitorous Unionists

SNP SWEAR oath of commitment to the protection of their homeland and their citizens.

"Shoot all the Unionists you want, if you can hit 'em, but remember it's a sin to kill a SNP votingbird." - said Hosie, yesterday.

“Shoot all the Unionists you want, if you can hit ’em, but remember it’s a sin to kill a SNP votingbird.” – said Hosie to Police Scotland, yesterday.

THE DEPUTY leader of the SNP has backed the right of Police Scotland to “shoot-to-kill Unionists” in the event of a second referendum.

Stewart Hosie said he would trust police officers to take the “necessary action” to track down those people who “talk Scotland down”.

Nationalist leader Nicola Sturgeon said on Monday she was “ambivalent” over police operating a Unionist shoot-to-kill policy.

She later clarified that she supported “a strictly non-SNP voting shoot-to-kill Unionists policy” such as Tory or Labour or Lib-Dem voters who deserved everything they got, plus some. But she insisted SNP voting Unionists should be spared.

She said: “The world has to see that we can tolerate Unionists on our soil. SNP voting Unionists can be rehabilitated and de-radicalised. They may even be economically viable. That’s why I think we should demonstrate our humane tolerant caring side.”

Mr Hosie told the Good Morning Scotland programme: “If a Unionist runs down Sauchiehall Street, God forbid, or Holyrood with a Better Together poster and a police officer has a split second decision to make, then the choice in terms of public safety is very clear.

He added: “We have seen the news reports from Saint Andrew’s this morning. These people won’t be arrested. One of the people who was subject to police investigations this morning blew up apparently – claimed they had they right to question our education record, economic illiteracy and oil price projections.

“There is no negotiating with someone who has that kind of hatred toward Scotland. Some are even prepared to quote Alex Bell verbatim.

“Split decisions require to be made and we all hope they are the right ones but I certainly would trust Police Scotland in those circumstances.”

AhDinnaeKen attempted to find a Unionist to comment on the new SNP shoot-to-kill policy commitment but no one – from the whole of the country – was prepared to comment.

 

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Filed under Environment, Referendum

Taking the Corporate shill-ing – Chris Deerin and Charlotte Street Partners

ACCORDING TO the Oxford dictionary, a ‘shill’ is defined as: “a person who pretends to give an impartial endorsement of something in which they themselves have an interest.” The word has lost much of its power in Scotland due to its overuse by certain types of Scottish Nationalist. But it still maintains a visceral resonance when used in the correct context. Scottish newspaper columnist of the year, Chris Deerin, a leading high profile partner in PR lobbying communications firm Charlotte Street Partners, has earned another unofficial title – Corporate Shill of the Year. Shurely shome mishtake? AhDinnaeKen explains:

Kind of embarrassing for Chris that the paper he writes a regular column for should so resolutely show up the company he's currently shill-ing for.

Kind of embarrassing for Chris that the paper he writes a regular column for should so resolutely expose the corporation he’s currently shill-ing for.

By Longshanker aka @ergasiophobe – corporate shill correspondent

“Tonight’s event is sponsored by SSE, a company which has been thinking hard about its place in society. While I am sure it would never claim to be perfect, SSE has taken a few significant steps.”  – Chris Deerin, Charlotte Street Partners, June 2015.

The ‘few significant steps’ taken toward perfection by energy giant SSE were dutifully specified by Chris as:

1) “In September 2013, it was accredited as a Living Wage employer, the largest FTSE 100 company with that status at the time.”

All very worthy of self serving self adulatory back slaps all round. What Chris naturally failed to mention was a BBC news story from February 2015 which reported:

Energy giant SSE has been named by the UK government as one of 70 companies that failed to pay workers the minimum wage.”

A year and a half after gaining the Living Wage employer accreditation, SSE were named and shamed by the government for failing to pay some of their workers the bare minimum of the minimum wage. Oh dear!

To reinforce the reach and intent of SSE’s living wage strategy, Chris also revealed:

2) “It has also implemented a Living Wage requirement in every service and works contract in its supply chain, which is worth £2.2 billion.”

A quick scan of SSE’s supply chain demonstrates a wide scale need of engineering expertise and services where most workers are likely to be paid more than the living wage – currently set at £7.85 per hour.

In its general support contract requirements, for example, SSE sub-contract provider companies for; confined space support, mechanical support, scaffolding support, controls and instrumentation and cladding support.

Deerin's apologism merely fans the flames. Weel din.

Deerin’s apologism merely fans the flames.

All of these services mostly require skilled tradesmen and professionals to fulfil their contractual responsibilities. For instance, the expected average wage of a scaffolder at current market rate is around £37,500 per annum – almost double the London adjusted living wage of £9.15 per hour.

So SSE’s Living Wage accreditation seems to be what it is – corporate glossed tokenism wrapped up in mostly empty gestures.

According to SSE’s corporate brochure they employ around 20,250 people.

On the 30th October 2015, Utility Week filed the following report on the energy giant: “By April 2016 400 full time equivalent employees in the supply chain will have received a pay rise.

“SSE said the commitment would raise the wages of 800 workers in its supply chain by five times..”

Impressive? Maybe. But it reinforces the “tokensim” claim. 800 workers is less than 4 per cent of SSE’s claimed workforce. It reeks of gesture politicking – no more, no less.

And, it begs the question, why has it taken SSE almost 3 years to implement from Sep 2013’s trumpeted Living Wage accreditation? Maybe Chris could answer that on Twitter. Probably not.

Deerin’s gushing SSE eulogy can be read in its entire corporate apologist glory here. It echoes a Cap-X piece test written by him in March where he pontificated over a more caring, humane corporate culture – citing SSE as a leading example. According to Chris:

Companies, in this view, are cultural entities as well as economic ones. The way they behave sets a tone, exposes their priorities and motivations, speaks to the nature of our wider society and the kind of people we are and want to be.”

Words of wisdom indeed. Especially when you take into consideration the “tone” set by SSE’s previous and present ‘behaviour’.

In March 2015, the Guardian reported: “SSE, one of the big six energy suppliers, has been forced to pay a £100,000 penalty after it was found to have overcharged for wholesale power provided to the National Grid.”

Part of the reason for SSE's new found corporate responsibility reputation is their haemorrhaging of customers Shills like Deerin are there to provide new wrapping.

Part of the reason for SSE’s new found corporate responsibility strategy is their haemorrhaging of customers Shills like Deerin are there to create new wrapping.

Or in the Telegraph from April 2013: “SSE, one of the country’s largest energy companies, has been fined £10.5m for “prolonged and extensive” mis-selling by regulator Ofgem the largest penalty ever for an energy supplier” – the fine would have been £50 million, but mostly spineless watchdog, Ofgem, settled for the lesser figure after SSE threatened to take the matter court-side.

Or, consider this from the website of small energy firm Entu: “SSE was fined £1.75m by Ofgem in December 2014 for failing to meet obligations to provide free insulation to low-income households.”

As recently as 30 Oct 2015, the Mail reported: “The big power companies have come under mounting pressure from consumer groups in recent days to slash tariffs after their input costs fell to a five-year low. But Scottish Power, E.ON and SSE have rejected charges of profiteering, saying that they regularly review the costs that make up their bills.”

And then there’s today’s Daily Mail headline story illustrated above.

So yes, SSE’s behaviour certainly “sets a tone” – a glaring, harsh, exploitative, in your face, monotone of corporate gloss, corporate greed and corporate profiteering. But not according to corporate lapdog Chris Deerin.

In his corporate apologist world, he no doubt believes that his brand of corporate snake oil emollient has helped ‘recontextualise extensible models’™ of the SSE corporate image. Or something.

It demonstrates how far Deerin has travelled since he left the safe cosy corporate journalism world of the Telegraph commentary department to the even safer, more secretive, more rewarding, corporate shill department of Charlotte Street Partners (CSP).

Journalists, according to polling from the 90’s to the present day, rank lower in public trustability ratings than politicians.

Master of the MacUniverse and partner in Corporate Shill Partners - Chris Deerin (yesterday).

Master of the MacUniverse and partner in Corporate Shill Partners – Chris Deerin (yesterday).

Deerin, with his shiny new gamekeeper turned poacher turned gamekeeper/poacher status, is even lower than that. Virtually everything he has to say, whether it be in print, Twitter or elsewhere, will always have that whiff of ulterior motive corporate shilliness about it.

His word and action over the past few months has certainly set the ‘tone’ and demonstrated the ‘motivation’. And he’s shown the teeny wee world of parochial inward looking insular Scotland just how little it needs that kind of ‘behaviour’.

AhDinnaeKen sarcastically doffs the cap and tugs the forelock to the new Masters of the MacUniverse, Charlotte Street Partners and Chris Deerin. Their barefaced audacity of polishing turds for the corporates of the world requires a virtual brass neck. The problem with turd polishers, however, is that they end up neck deep in the stuff they’re polishing.

Take a bow for your corporate masters Chris. A shill in need is a shill indeed.

Perfect!

 

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Filed under Media, Morality

Lies, damn lies and Wings Over Scotland statistics #1

ANOTHER BLOWHARD trumpeting of “readership-stats”, another con-trick from Bath’s fatuously fraudulent ‘reverend’. According to Stuart Campbell, editor of Nationalist Front blog Wings Over Scotland, the site had 293,753 unique visitors in October 2015. Rejoice and raise the saltires, hang the Unionists, beseech the MSM etc. AhDinnaeKen finds itself asking the questions: Can we trust those figures and what benefit are they to Campbell?

Don't believe everything you read in the Nationalist Front media.

Don’t believe everything you read in the Nationalist Front media.

By Longshanker aka @ergasiophobe – Temporary Google Analytics expert

NEVER SLOW to blow his own trumpet and maintain the myth of a massive readership, Stuart Campbell of Wings Over Scotland recently confirmed to his ‘alert readers’ that just under 300,000 unique visitors or “readers” – as he often refers to such numbers – visited his blog in October 2015.

Very impressive and a potentially powerful political influence if the figures were to be believed which, according to web traffic and internet specialists and user analytics experts Incapsula, they can’t.

According to Incapsula’s findings, 62.3% of traffic to medium sites like Campbell’s – with 10,000 plus visitors per day – are bots. Or non-human traffic in human speak.

Doing the math, the impressive figure of 293,753 unique visitors for the month of October, suddenly whittles down to a less impressive 95,400.

Campbells published figures instantly reduced by one info-graphic ©Incapsula

Campbells published figures instantly reduced by one little info-graphic ©Incapsula

It’s still a formidable figure in anyone’s language but, unfortunately for Wings, it’s exponentially less than the 300,000 claim.

Then, of course, the method of recording and reporting those numbers has to be further taken into account.

Each “unique user” or “unique visitor” is actually a little computer cookie known as an _utma Cookie which is recorded and reported by a Google tool known as Google Analytics. According to Yehoshua Coren, a Google Analytics expert, unique visitors are not commensurate with unique people or readers.

He said: “We use the term “visitor,” but technically this means “__utma Cookie.” Cookies are browser specific. So if I, Yehoshua Coren, visit example.com in a 5 minute span from 3 different browsers, GA (Google Analytics) reports that 3 “unique visitors” came to the site. Similarly, if 3 different people in my household visit example.com at different times throughout the day, this is 1 “unique visitor.” Lastly, if I visit a website repeatedly using Private Browsing (Firefox) or Incognito Mode (Chrome), etc, my cookies are cleared on browser close so I’ll be an additional “unique visitor” (with a ‘new visit’) on every subsequent visit.”

Wings has a noisily notable hard core “fringe” following of assorted cybernat oddballs, expatriates, geek loners, paranoid conspiracy theorists, adolescent gamers, ‘superior intelligence’ IT coders, dribbling media illiterates, barren ‘genius’ cat people and intellectually starved SNP politicians.

Many of them will view the Wings blog using anything between 3 to 10 devices such as home computers, mobile phones, work computers/tablets etc. To be generous, we’ve also factored in random different browsers set to varying states of privacy – as referenced by Yehoshua Coren above.

Cutting Wings some slack and opting for the smallest likely average figure of viewings to 3 separate devices/browsers per actual person, that gives the blog a monthly real human being readership of around 31,800.

It’s still relatively impressive in a not really impressive at all kind of way – given the blog’s tediously repetitive ad nauseum formula of; mainstream media bad, Labour party bad/, SNP criticism bad, and anyone and everyone else not on board, a “stupid f**king c**t” bad etc.

But the more realistic figure of just under 32,000 unique readers pales compared to the trumpeted 300,000 readers figure.

There’s a thing.

DDos attacks can add

DDoS attacks can add “unique user” figures in multiples of thousands depending on the sophistication of the attack. Any old Rogue Coder could implement such a phenomenon.

Also, when you further factor in Campbell’s own claim that the Wings blog site is under almost constant DDoS attack – cyber attacks which aim to shut sites down through swamping them with “unique user” hits – then it begins to look positively paltry considering the hype which precedes it.

It also somewhat undermines the alleged authority which a “readership” of 300,000 is intended to convey. So there’s another thing.

DDoS attacks can produce what are known as ‘spikes’ in unique user figures. One site in a Google analytics discussion forum recently complained of a “sudden spike in direct traffic increase of about 30k (30,000)”. And the spike occurred in one day. Who knows how many DDoS “unique user” spikes are an integral part of Wings reported figures?

One thing’s for sure, Wings will never tell you because it would directly interfere with his duplicitous intention to con Twitter and Facebook users into thinking he’s part of some sort of “wonderful” Nationalist internet movement.

As recently laid bare in a Twitter conversation with Herald journalist, David Leask, Wings “hits” or “readers” as Campbell prefers to call them, pale into insignificance beside newspapers like the Herald.

As Leasky was the first to point out – in terms of accuracy and fairness – comparing Wings with the likes of the Herald, in terms of numbers, is “hardly a fair comparison”.

Typical Leasky: straightforward, accurate, factual and devastatingly understated.

Typical Leasky: straightforward, accurate, factual and devastatingly understated.

Readers can make up their own minds. But any Unionist or Nationalist or interested observer who thinks that Wings Over Scotland is a political player should think again.

If you believe that Wings trumpeted figure of just under 300,000 unique users is anything remotely close to individual readers then AhDinnaeKen has some plain and simple advice for you: take a long hard look in the mirror – that’s what a zoomer looks like.

30,000 to 60,000 false

30,000 to 60,000 false “unique user” hits in a day makes a mockery of Campbell’s claims. Maybe some independent corroboration and forensic analysis is needed there.

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Filed under Opinion, Wangs Watch