Monthly Archives: June 2015

Sturgeon is a traitorous turncoat for writing in Daily Mail – Wings Over Scotland

EXTREMIST website turns bilious rantings onto exalted SNP leader Nicola Sturgeon. Misogynist traits didn’t take long to come to the fore say critics of Wings’ editor Stuart Campbell. AhDinnaeKen reports:

This puts Sturgeon in the same mould as Curran claimed many of Campbell's cohorts of cybernats

This puts Sturgeon in the same mould as Curran claimed many of Campbell’s cohorts of cybernats. Campbell, meanwhile, blew off some steam in Sturgeon’s direction.

By Longshanker aka @ergasiophobe

AN EXTREMIST cybernat website editor has attacked SNP leader Nicola Sturgeon as ‘ridiculously naive’ for writing in the Scottish Daily Mail today.

Wings Over Scotland’s Stuart Campbell blasted Sturgeon for ‘validating’ every alleged “cybernat smear” run by the campaigning newspaper.

He accused Sturgeon – a leader with a 60% public approval rating – of doing more harm than good by recognising the Mail’s claims that cybernat’s are poisoning political debate in Scotland.

Sturgeon’s piece in today’s Scottish Daily Mail is a statement of intent that online abuse, of the type typified by Campell, will not be tolerated by the SNP leadership.

The SNP leader’s warning follows the Mail’s campaign to highlight the toxicity of online debate in the country.

According to Campbell’s swivel eyed conspiracy theory, Ms Sturgeon is assisting the Daily Mail at the expense of her party.

He said: “She’s got more to lose than gain”.

Critics of Campbell’s extremist website see this statement as a signal that the site may soon turn it’s misogynistic eye on Sturgeon in the same manner it recently attacked seasoned independence campaigner and education SPAD, Kate Higgins.

Campbell’s site has already described Sturgeon’s stance on Full Fiscal Autonomy as a “bit rubbish” and accused her of U-turning over the proposed privatisation of Scotland’s ferries – in the same manner as Labour.

“The SNP has now become so large and popular that Nationalist Front extremists like Campbell are struggling to remain relevant in the eyes of zealous supporters”, said a concerned independence supporter today.

“Attacking Nicola’s sensible and responsible rapport with the media is one way for Campbell to think he’s doing something worthwhile other than navel gazing in his bedroom on the proceeds of other people’s money.”

Campbell, 47, is a single, never married, siblingless, childless, wife beater apologist and assimilated Englishman who lives in the genteel city of Bath.

 

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Moan McVulpine: SNP can’t be trusted with the Scottish Parliament

MOAN SAYS that, fresh from the oft repeated Nationalist lie that Labour had voted for 30 billion of austerity cuts comes the lie that Westmonster “quashed” a bid to make the Big Parish Cooncil permanent.

One Party State: That's the way to do it. said Joan, yesterday.

“It is never difficult to distinguish between a Scotsman with a grievance and a ray of sunshine” – PG Wodehouse. Scotland’s very own ray of sunshine – Joan McAlpine.

By Moan McVulpineHelping spread the ‘big lie’ one big lie at a time

IT WAS not the Scottish Nationalist Party who helped create the Big Parish Cooncil (BPC) at Holyrood – it was the Labour Party ably assisted by Tony Blair.

It therefore follows that anything the Nationalists say aboot the Holyrood talkin’ shop is to be taken with a large pinch of Saor Alba salt.

This week’s dial a grievance is the lie that Westmonster “quashed” a bid to make the Big Parish Cooncil permanent.

It gives the likes of the big ‘N’ Nationalists like Joanie McAlpine a green light to claim “moral outrage” and act accordingly.

How dull. How predictable.

Lest we forget, Joan is hardly in a position to be morally outraged at anything to do with the talkin’ shop, given her highly public rebuke by the Presiding Officer for treating the Big Parish Cooncil with contempt and a dash of Pinot Grigio.

But I digress.

As so aptly and succinctly pointed out by Lib-Dem blogger and legal expert, Graeme Cowie, an SNP amendment to allegedly make the Big Parish Cooncil permanent would have had quite the opposite effect.

Cowie said that amendment (1B) proposed by the Nationalists “weakens, not strengthens, the protection, by providing a specific exception to the provision” which is already in place in the Scotland Bill: (1A) A Scottish Parliament is recognised as a permanent part of the United Kingdom’s constitutional arrangements.

So once again, the Nats are playing the grievance and moral outrage card based on a false premise ie they’re lying through their clenched, moaning faced, whiney teeth.

There’s a thing. We’ve never seen the Nats doing that before. Ho hum.

Not that it matters any more. The Nationalist Ally’s Army effect will take a few more years of Nationalist paradox and contradiction before it gradually sinks into the public’s consciousness that Scotland is being sold a pup by a bunch of power mad snake oil salesmen.

So, when you hear the Nationalist Front brigade bleating on about Westmonster selling us down the river, just remember that, as with so much Nationalist diatribe, Ignorance is Strength.

They want to keep you ignorant of the truth in order to surf the sea of “moral outrage”.

And that’s something we should all be aware of – Nationalists and Unionists alike.

COMEDY RELIEF

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Notorious historian defends Nazis from comparison to SNP

CONTROVERSIAL HISTORIAN, David Irving, argues the Nazis were many bad and evil things, but comparing them to the SNP is beyond the pale. AhDinnaeKen reports:

The fascist fifty-six in the House of Commons, yesterday.

The fascist fifty-six in the House of Commons, yesterday.

By Ach TungHistory and politics correspondent

THE NAZIS may have been genocidal war criminals on an industrial scale, but comparing them to the SNP is a slur on their reputation according to a notorious historian.

David Irving claims that if you put aside some of the more negative aspects of the Nazis such as the centralised police force, state sponsored silencing of dissent and systematic oppression and destruction of undesirables, you would find the Nazis were much more effective in both rhetoric and action than the SNP could ever dream of.

“The Nazis did what they said they would do and eschewed the type of pretendy gesture politics we see from the SNP” said Irving.

“Hitler delivered for the working class – even throughout the war – and offered opportunities previously unavailable to ordinary German citizens.

“Unlike the SNP’s eight year subsidy of the middle-class, the Nazis delivered true social mobility.

“Unemployment was virtually eradicated, vocational training programs were greatly expanded, and efficient workers were rewarded with generous incentives for further advancement.

“All of these things took place over a five year period between 1933 and 1938.

“The SNP have had eight years to improve the lot of the working class. What they have delivered in real terms can be summed up by two words – hee haw.

“So stop impugning the Nazis by comparing them to the SNP.

“The Nazis were to progressive politics what the SNP are to numeracy and literacy. Er, haud on!”

 

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Scotland’s ‘alternative media’ is a bit s**t says ex-Newsnet Scotland editor

GA PONSONBY, founder and former editor of Newsnet Scotland, spelled out a few home truths for Scotland’s deluded so called ‘alternative media’ brigade recently. AhDinnaeKen reports:

The alternative media in Scotland owe much to the self indulgent delusion of Onan said Ponsonby yesterday.

The alternative media in Scotland owes more to Onanistic self indulgent delusion than actual influence  said Ponsonby yesterday.

By Meeja Byaas – Cultural imperialism and media monitoring correspondent

WINGS OVER Scotland isn’t even worth the paper it’s not written on in terms of influence in Scotland, according to a former Newsnet Scotland editor.

GA Ponsonby recently admitted that Scotland’s “alternative media” was a crock of s**t which only consisted of three pishy websites and a group of television wannabes suffering from delusions of grandeur.

He said: “The new media had f**k all impact in the mind of the general Scottish public during the indyref.

“Sadly, these sites have still to come to terms with that reality – despite google anyalytics figures kidding us on otherwise.

“In fact, unless you’re a diehard Braveheart Commando,  a SNP politician, or a bored journalist on Twitter, there’s an 85 per cent odds on certainty that the average Scot has never even heard of Wings Over Scotland or Bella Caledonia or Newsnet.scot or NewsShaft.

“It’s safe to surmise that these narcissistic navel gazing mendicants are the Benthopelagics of the media ocean.

“We liked to kid ourselves on that we made a difference but, when the average Jock in the street was asked which media influenced their decision in the neverendum, they said it was the BBC.

“Bastards!

“Please send us some money. You know we’re not worth it.”

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Moan McVulpine: List politician is a career choice, it’s exploitation, abuse and contempt for the voter.

SUGGESTING something be changed about the list system in Scotland, Moan recalls how some list politicians have killed the principle of list MSPs:

Threats, deception and 'special' favours all form part of the McAlpine modus operandi.

Some list MSPs behaviour brings the whole system into disrepute.

By Moan McVulpineList politician and gigolo expert

“Without lists, there would be no list politicians” – these are the words of a voter who survived list politicians.

She was speaking about lip service and demand for party apparatchiks at the ‘Proportional voting in Scotland conference’.

Take away the principle and you save millions of taxpaying voters the need to pay for mostly talentless political freeloaders.

This is why I support the End Career List Politicians Now campaign launched in AhDinnaeKen this week.

It aims to highlight the purchase and abuse of privilege but at the same time expose those who have used fear or favour to help themselves onto the list system. This is a reversal of the system as it currently stands.

Two list MSPs recently resigned from the SNP and one even joined the Green party, despite no one ever having directly voted for them.

Forfox Sake – the Edinburgh charity who have changed attitudes in the capital – said: “Every vote that puts a list MSP in place is a vote for the party, not the person behind it.

As many list MSPs prove, these are supposed to be nodding donkeys and Yes men whom nobody wanted to see as politicians in the first place.”

Some suggest that “list politician” is a legitimate choice of career. To them I ask, “Whatever happened to the principle of being voted in due to merit of the candidate?

“Would a career politician like Saint Nicola of Sturgeon ever have reached the heights she has without the unfair advantage of the list system?”

The death of the list system principle happened last year when John Finnie cocked a snook at the thousands of voters who put their X in the Alex for Firstminster box. It demonstrated that the system needs to be reformed.

Some list MSPs brought further ignominy on the integrity of the parliament by failing to ask questions in the chamber that they had tabled themselves.

Others abused the expenses system to pay their lovers for services rendered – like any cheap grubby man on the lookout for a prostitute.

But the tide is turning. Buying privilege in the Scottish Parliament will eventually be noticed.

A straw poll evaluation of the list system in Shettleston said the system had resulted in, “Profit from voter aspiration.”

And profit is what it’s all about – profit from the gullibility and vulnerability of voters.

Forget The West Wing, the series in which actors portray politicians as acting from the highest of ideals. The real-life version is cynicism incarnate for all concerned.

Visit the End Career List Politicians Now campaign’s crowdfunder page here.

COMEDY RELIEF

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Sturgeon storms America: Funniest comedian on the market say Americans

STURGEON finds her true and natural calling on America’s cutting edge satirical programme:

After Sturgeon's EU joke, Stewart is reported to have told Sturgeon she should give up the day job and get on the American comedy circuit.

After Sturgeon’s EU joke, Stewart is reported to have told Sturgeon she should give up the day job and get on the American comedy circuit.

By Razeda SmyleShameless publicity and comedy routine correspondent

FIRSTMINSTER SAINT Nicola of Sturgeon has appeared on one of American television’s top chat shows.

She instantly trumped Salmond’s profile as Scotland’s lead comedian.

Ms Sturgeon began by questioning her billing on the show’s website as a “politician”.

She told host Jon Stewart: “You billed me on your website as a politician – so you’ve raised all these expectations that I’m going to talk sense.”

The Firstminster added: “I’m a comedian, and as you know, I’ve been having a laugh at Scotland’s expense for the past eight years.”

Ms Sturgeon is on the second day of a four-day trip to America where she is undertaking a series of engagements on the comedy circuit.

Once again, she followed in the footsteps of the Labouring party’s leaders by making an appearance on the Daily Show where she invited America to laugh at Scotland.

Amid laughter from the audience Stewart assured Ms Sturgeon that there was no way he could trump her line “Stronger for Scotland” in the face of her party’s record on education and health.

Other topics touched on during the broadcast included the SNP’s success in suckering the Scottish electorate into believing her party would do better for the country.

American viewers were in stitches in their reaction to the Scottish Firstminster’s comedy routine.

US journalist Skylar Baker-Jordan, who covers Comedy politics, said: “Sturgeon is on top of her game as usual. Deceptive, evasive and contradictory. That line about being Better Together in Europe is a humdinger. Where did she come up with that one. Hilarious.”

The Firstminster’s engagements for Tuesday include taking selfies with kids in front of the media and on Wednesday she will take some selfies with kids in front of the media.

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Exclusive: Bill Walker to advise Salmond on how to deal with ‘uppity’ women

FED UP of being hectored by hysterical women who don’t know their place, Alex Salmond has taken on new multi-experienced adviser Bill Walker. AhDinnaeKen exclusively reports:

A short, sharp, shock soon brings them back to their senses said Walker to Salmond, yesterday.

A short, sharp, shock soon brings them back to their senses said Walker to Salmond, yesterday.

By Black McEyeDomestic incidents and social order correspondent

LASTMINSTER SALMOND has appointed a new adviser to improve his relations with women.

Fed up of being treated like he was a normal politician by hectoring harridans in the House of Commons, Salmond will now take advise from ‘experienced’ domestic relations expert Bill Walker.

Walker has twenty-eight years experience of keeping women of all ages in their place and is expected to impart his expertise with a series of straightforward practical demonstrations.

Ex-jailbird Walker believes in the determined and direct use of improvisational implements such as air rifles, wire coat hangers and saucepans in order to maintain relations between the sexes.

“Women have to know who’s boss,” said Walker, “otherwise they get ideas above their station. And that’s not good for us men who know what we’re talking about.

“We don’t need pointless interruptions from women unable to behave themselves.

“My short intensive domestic relations course should bring Alex up to speed.”

Walker’s appointment is seen as a move attempting to take the heat out of Salmond’s recent altercation with Anna Soubry MP.

Salmond is expected to undertake the intensive course with Bill to enable him to deal quickly and decisively with the pointless distractions presented by hysterical women in the commons from time to time.

An SNP spokeswummin, who knows her place, said: “There is no place for speaking out of turn against a man in the Hoose Of Commons – and this was an example of Soubry getting ideas above her station. This was the sort of incident which could result in a black eye for Soubry if she tries it again. We’ve got Bill on board now and, with his decades of experience, he knows how to keep these hysterical female types in their place.”

http://youtu.be/ZVJ0W6XxDbk

 

 

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Der Gruppenführer Robertson’s Diary #1 – Moral Superiority

HAVING consulted the Allbuch of Nationalist grievance seeking, Der SNP Gruppenführer, Angus Robertson, opened his Aufbruch der Nation with outstanding sanctimony and finger pointing moral superiority. AhDinnaeKen exclusively presents – Der Gruppenführer’s Diary:

Der faces of outraged sorrowful self righteousness. Practised to perfection by Stuarten Hosie (right).

Der faces of outraged sorrowful self righteousness. Practised to perfection by Stewarten Hosie (right).

By Gruppenführer Robertson Order of der Südafrikaan little white rose of Schottland

No one is fully aware of der time, effort und repeated rehearsal behind mein preparation für Premierminister’s Questions.

Der eyes of der world are upon us.

It is our duty, honour and responsibility to der sovereign Volk of der motherland to score points off of der evil imperial Premierminister of der occupying forces of Schottland at every opportunity.

Fortunately für us, this is easy. Most of mein time ist spent perfecting der look of moral outrage and disbelief at der despicable evil of der Englisch Premierminister David Cameron.

Deputy Gruppenführer Stewarten Hosie has, over der years, perfected this look (see pic above).

As we learned from National Socialist history buchs, one should always wrongfoot your enemies with a surprise attack of overwhelming force. So, instead of asking a question on Schottland, I chose to enter der international sphere.

“It is a stain on der conscience of Europe das thousands and thousands of refugees cannot get a direct Calmac ferry to Brodick from Libya”, was my opening salvo. Mein Named Person, der Fett Gruppenführer Alexen Salmonden, gave me das line und it was wunderbar.

“Der Royal Navy could provide a direct link to Schottland instead of relying on unregulated private sector operators”, was my killer blow.

Der profits of der Libyan gangs are untaxed and frequently der boats used are not up to European Union health and safety requirements.

As expected, der Premierminister chose to side with der private sector operators und made himself look harsh, brutal und uncaring. Just as I knew he would.

He said das one way trips were not good enough. Der refugees should be made buy a return ticketen und their return should be compulsory.

Das was enough for us. Stuarten Hosie and meinself put on our best faces of sad und shocked espression. By mentioning Schweden and Allemagne we had bought ourselves European attention für free.

Both those countries have a non-returnable ticketen policy für der economic migrants and by siding with them we anointed ourselves in socially conscious self righteousness.

In all, a famous victory für der forces of Nationalist gesture politics.

Our Geistigführer would be so proud.

I cannot wait till next week.

 

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Moan McVulpine: Auntie Scots McAlpine attacks the Beeb again

JOAN returns to the tediously dull Nationalist pastime of sinister finger pointing at the BBC’s impartiality. Like her master’s voice, she remains silent on the SNP’s worship of Rupert Murdoch:

It's worth noting that there are people on bikes. Free space a go-go.

Progressive Nationalists turn up to shout at the BBC’s janitor at Pacific Quay.

By Moan McVulpineConfirming Nationalist confirmation bias

SHE IS one of our most accomplished whiners, so it’s no surprise Joanie McAlpine says she ‘owes everything’ to her genetically ingrained Nationalism.

But this week, the star of the Daily Mail’s front page exclusives and the Wee White Whine said her faith in the electorate was still to be tested considering she was a list MSP apparatchik whom no one had directly voted for in the first place.

She said: “To use my Daily Redcoat column as a political cudgel against legitimate journalistic scrutiny of SNP assertions is grate fun.

“It plays to my natural sense of mob inciting polemic, whirlwind whining and pointing of the accusatory finger of pious self righteousness at oor political enemies, especially the BBC.”

McAlpine was regularly ’employed’ to write Lastminster Salmond’s speeches, amongst ‘other things’ best not spoken about. It’s not in her, or AhDinnaeKen’s, best interests to reveal the pecadilloes of hypocrisy she’s so well known for in political circles.

That’s why she occasionally uses the Daily Redcoat paper to paint herself and her party as victims of conspiracy and dark forces. It resonates with the gruesome grievance gallery and keeps the hardcore tinfoil hat brigade on board with their Nationalist masters voices.

McAlpine’s prejudice directly addresses the ranks of Nationalist Front hate preacher acolytes, chip on shooder progressives, and Mobnat conspiracy theorists.

Claiming that there is a considerable body of academic and journalistic evidence, Joanie attacks the BBC with hilariously sinister abandon.

It turns out her academic evidence is sourced from the widely laughed at and discredited Professor John Robertson of the List D West of Scotland University.

No media outlet in the UK, never mind Scotland, was interested in Robertson’s alleged academic analysis which claimed there was systemic bias in the BBC against the SNP and the SNP’s Yes Campaign.

The only bias Robertson’s media analysis proved was the confirmation bias of the author himself – a stereotype associated with ‘media bias’ types. For anyone remotely interested, it’s worth reading some of the rambling clunky caveat ridden prose of the Professor’s on the Newsnet Scotland website – his alleged academic authority quickly vaporises and dissipates into the ether of paranoid predilection.

When pressed by the Beeb, Professor Robertson was not prepared to release the full research data he based his claims of bias on. Things that make you go hmm, doesn’t even begin to cover it.

But that doesn’t stop Joanie from clutching at ever more desperate straws.

Citing G.A. Ponsonby of Newsnet Scotland as a journalist – we’re still laughing every time we think of that – Joanie quotes from his bacofoil book “London Calling: How the BBC Stole the Referendum”.

Her quotes are notably short on detail and highly selective. The use of the phrase that Gordon Brown’s speech was “broadcast repeatedly” is generically non-commital ie there is no context with other channels, broadcasting lengths, news reports etc.

In other words, Joanie’s assertion is just that, an assertion. And it’s why she also covers herself with the following carefully worded reference to Ponsonby’s journalism: “perhaps more than these specifics is the underlying attitude.”

Quite! How to write off the book while seeming to support it. Quo vadis Joanie? Quo vadis?

The one issue we* can agree on with the ginger whinger is her claim that not enough SNP political drones are being asked by the BBC to comment on government policy.

That is a legitimate observation. So far, there may be perfectly reasonable excuses for the Beeb, but that stay of execution can only last so long.

The fascist fifty-six represent a bloc which cannot and must not be ignored or sidelined by Auntie.

Otherwise everyone’s favourite, and mostly trusted, media outlet plays into the hands of Nationalist grievance merchants like McAlpine.

And that’s not good.

COMEDY RELIEF

 

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SNP commit Scottish taxpayers to directly subsidise SNP rhetoric

NEW tax powers to be granted to Scotland in 2016 will pay to keep Sturgeon in foodbank branded helicopters and strident anti-poverty commitments:

Swinney makes a committed commitment to commit to anything that is non-commital. Yesterday.

Swinney makes a committed commitment to commit to anything that is non-commital. Yesterday.

By Letthum EatcakeAusterity and Penury correspondent

JOHN SWINNEY, yesterday, committed to not commit to a non-commital SNP commitment to not commit to income tax non-commitments.

The Deputy First Minister and finance secretary refused to commit to the SNP’s manifesto commitment to achieve Full Fiscal Autonomy in 2016.

Under the 2012 Scotland Act, the Scottish Government will commit to ignore the first 10p of income tax in the manner they ignored and let lapse the 3p tax varying rate power in 2007.

Swinney said the tax powers, if used as the SNP committed to, will prove expensive to the SNP’s ability and commitment to gain a further majority Scottish Parliamentary vote in 2016.

While the non-commitment will only serve as a paper cut in the momentum and popularity of the SNP’s previous commitments, critics see it as further evidence of a slow popular death as the other 999 cuts catch up with the SNP’s non-committed rhetoric.

Despite Sturgeon’s whinging whining bleating about ‘more powers’, the SNP have still to fully commit to use the powers they are in control of now said Truth Davidson.

She further said: “You only have to look at what happens when they (SNP) do commit to full responsibility in order to see their idea of what ‘Stronger for Scotland’ means.

“Thicker poorer schoolkids who cannae read or write, longer NHS waiting lists for the more expensive treatments, fiscally hamstrung local democracy, middle class students subsidised by less well off students, state surveillance of family life and a politicised ‘tooled up’ centralised police force.

“What’s not to like, love and vote for in the name of Scottish Lions roaring ‘more powers’ for Scotland?

“Now that’s what I call full on commitment to non-commitment.”

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