SNP MPs wear the little white rose of fascist gesture politics

THE LITTLE white rose on display in the House of Commons yesterday was a metaphor for the SNP’s transparent gesture politics says “vacuous cynic” Longshanker:

“It is always more difficult to fight against faith than against knowledge.” – Adolf Hitler. The White Rose faithful fifty-six would agree with that sentiment no doubt.

By Longshanker aka @ergasiophobe

THE SCOTTISH National party paid tribute to Nazi sympathising fascist poet Hugh MacDiarmid at the Queen’s speech yesterday.

Sporting the little white rose of Scotland, that wisnae really a little white rose of Scotland but a big white rose of England, the fascist fifty-six looked like a block of synchronised brownshirt apparatchiks.

Stepford MPs, so to speak.

Indeed, in many ways, the stance of the block was symbolic of centralised diktat ‘dae whit yer telt’ behaviour – all in the name of moral superiority and communal self-righteousness of course.

For the cult supporters back home, the gesture may have been intended to portray unity of purpose, but it was all too transparent for apostates of the Nationalist cause to see what was happening. It was like Parliamentary Star Wars: Attack of the Drones.

And the little white rose posturing perfectly captured and exposed the falsity of the Scottish Nationalists – like Salmond’s ‘most accurate’ parliamentary answer ever – they didnae even get it right. Tsk tsk etc etc.

As so neatly and sarcastically portrayed by Muriel Gray in the tweet above, the roses, like the SNP’s rhetoric and gesture politics were false – impostors pretending to be something they weren’t.

Ian Smart is a much maligned bête noire of the cybernats and SNP politicians these days, but the open and public tribute by the fascist fifty-six to Hugh MacDiarmid is telling. Smart frequently refers to the SNP’s fascist/Nazi sympathising past and receives predictable abuse for doing so.

Aside from the fact that MacDiarmid’s poetry is so boring it could ossify air, the wee nasty intolerant fascist bigot was well known for his political extremism.
In a letter to his chum Sorley MacLean, written in 1940, MacDiarmid said that the British bourgeoisie were a “far greater enemy” than Hitler’s Germany.

And yet, the fascist fifty-six proudly sported their false roses in tribute to one of MacDiarmid’s piss pathetically parochial poems: the Little White Rose of Scotland. Maybe MacDiarmid’s belief that fascism offered the best model for an independent Scotland was coursing through their veins as they sported their roses with pride.

Who knows, but it’s an ill omen that the Nationalists would be so bold as to lionise MacDiarmid in the name of standing up for Scotland.

For anyone who cares about the social union of these islands – something Salmond was keen to stress would remain intact upon independence being achieved – the following unpublished words of MacDiarmid in relation to the impending bombing of London by the Nazis should never be forgotten:

“Now when London is threatened
With devastation from the air
I realise, horror atrophying me,
That I hardly care.”

Guernica in Spain had proven the terror and devastation which air war brought to civilian populations and MacDiarmid was fully aware of that when he penned those words.

Men, women and children all suffered horribly during the blitz on London. They were murdered, maimed and mutilated through relentless bombing from the air and wee Hughie MacDiarmid didnae care a jot because they were English.

Yesterday the SNP took that fascist inhumane sentiment into the heart of London in the UK parliament and brazenly brandished it with their meaningless faith based and false gesture politics.

If it wasn’t so transparent, shameful and disgusting it would have been laughable.

The fascist fifty-six pose for a big selfie ootside the Hoose o’ Commons, yesterday.

 

Moan McVulpine: Super-fast grievance train on the right track for Nationalist Scotland

SCOTS MPs have now boarded the high speed grievance gravy train. Moan gauges why there will be 5 billions reasons for some intricately networked whining and why there will be 5 billion more.

By Moan McVulpine – Hitting the buffers on the wrong track

IT WAS once described, by a Scottish Firstminster, as a railroading vote which would derail Westminster’s subjugation of the rebellious Scots.

Nationalist Scots MPs en masse, we were told, would shake the venerable, archaic, undemocratic British establishment of cronyism, corruption and corpulencey into the 21st century enlightenment of Scotland’s democratic ‘awakening’.

Or so they would have had us believe.

That was always a crazy claim to make of the General Election – every study of the giddying assertions made by the Scottish Nationalists has now proven that they can’t even unseat a poor old tottering pensioner from his favourite seating arrangement.

What an unedifying start.

What the pre-election SNP rhetoric did ironically do, however, was push Scot-Nationalist fearing English Labour voters into voting for UKIP while Lib-Dem voters opted for the Tories.

A precursor of Nationalism begetting Nationalism and a sign of things to come.

And, like a Scottish Television besotted Schmuck chuckling over a Nationalist Front polemic, Scotland’s voters fell for the rousing Nationalistic rhetoric – Stronger for Scotland – and thus played a welcome role, by the Tories at least, in helping to deliver the first Tory majority government in over 20 years.

Now that’s what I call echoes of 79 – when the SNP were in the vanguard of assisting Mrs Thatcher into power.

So send your thanks for what’s to come to St Nicola of Sturgeon: a right wing Nationalist Tory government is just what Scotland needs to keep the food banks in full shameful employment and the fires of outraged grievance merchandising well and truly blazing in the hearts of many many Scots.

Scotland’s hope no longer lies in the festering, navel gazing, rotting Labour party. It lies in shellshocked ruin thanks to itself. It may never recover in Scotland.

No, Scotland’s hope lies in Nationalist schism. With over 100,000 new members, 50 new MPs – some of whom are barely able to string a legible sentence together never mind defend a policy – that represents a lot of careful cat herding to be done by the Nationalist centralising apparatchik.

If the Unionist MSM, establishment and political elites really did have some sort of sinister cunning plan they would mercilessly exploit, through interview and scrutiny, the record of the current Scottish Executive embedded in the Big Parish Cooncil at Holyrood.

But it would have to be executed in a way which would chip away at the obvious divisions and tensions inherent in the Scot Nationalist behemoth.

Get it wrong and the UK’s managed decline over the past 50 years will further accelerate as the country collapses into bitter parochial factionalism and infighting.

Y’know, the stuff Nationalists of all persuasions, get off on.

COMEDY RELIEF

SNP ambitions thwarted as the Empire Strikes Back

THEY tried to fight them on the benches, they tried to fight them in the lobbies, but all it took was the guile of two veteran MPs to repel the cream of the Tartan hordes:

Despite having youth and overwhelming numbers on their side, this coterie of SNP MPs still could not take and hold Dennis Skinner’s seat at Westminster.

By Allies Armie – Tartan Goonery correspondent

THE MOST ambitious tartan invasion of Westminster was thwarted this week as SNP ‘goon’ tactics were repulsed on the beaches of the commons green benches.

After four long and exhaustive days of achieving hee haw, the SNP MP hordes were finally faced down and defeated by two plucky pensioners in solitary counter attacks.

Veteran fighting Tommy, Dennis Skinner MP, established and held a bridgehead on the commons benches throughout the week by using a simple diversionary tactic to outflank the Nationalist goons .

And Faither o’ the Hoose, Gerald Kaufman MP, delivered a metaphorical kick in the stones to the pride of the black and yellow hordes.

He said: “It’s all very well for them to try a mob attack en masse, but to try and move one of the longest-serving members of parliament out of a seat that he’s occupied for decades, it’s stupid, Skinner is much too wiley for them, as the results of this futile battle showed.

“They’re goons and it’s plain for all to see that they want to publicly match Salmond’s cheap stunt expulsion from the commons when he interrupted the Chancellor’s Budget speech in 88.

“Even then, Skinner was in before them. In 1985 Skinner used the Ten-Minute Rule Bill to call the Chancellor to account so, even then, the SNP were left following in Skinner’s wake.”

The Cringe-Factor: New political show launched by Natalie McGarry MP

SCOTLAND’S clown princess, Natalie McGarry, resurrected the Scottish cringe all by herself at the big London parliament yesterday. Sounds like Named Person Salmond needs to start Getting It Right For Every SNP MP – now:

“One person’s embarrassment is another person’s accountability.” – Tom Price. Wonder what he would say aboot oor wee Natalie.

By Whitta Riddie – #CommunityJustice and Scottish cringe correspondent

THE NIECE of Scotland’s Presiding Officer, Natalie McGarry MP, last night issued a statement claiming that she was sorry for putting the Scottish cringe firmly back on the agenda.

McGarry not only insulted all the male political journalists in Scotland, she also insulted all the female journalists – getting the mix and numbers spectacularly and publicly wrong.

Not content with making a right royal arse of herself, she then compounded the embarrassment and cringeworthiness by stating that nothing which came out of her mouth could be believed – only her thoughts were true in terms of the sovereignty of the people.

“I am sorry for so spectacularly reinstating the Scottish cringe,” she cried.

“I am really sorry that I so publicly displayed my ignorance of the media scene despite having read Chomsky and whinged about MSM bias for so long.

“I’m really really sorry for not deleting my thoughts before I published them on how trustworthy I am.

“I’m not too sorry for being accused of describing the Famine song as banter and I’m even less sorry for endorsing creepy stalkerish surveillance of political opponents as #CommunityJustice.

“I’m really really really sorry, however, that I got found out for not being able to name one progressive policy implemented by the SNP in the Big Parish Cooncil.

“In fact, I’m so sorry I wish I could delete yesterday and all my other cringeworthy gaffes in the same manner I regularly delete my tweets in order to kid on nothing ever happened.”

Natalie McGarry MP – taking the Scottish Cringe factor where no Scottish Cringe factor has gone before.

 

Thicker for Scotland – New SNP battle cry

SCOTLAND’S OUT of depth educashun secretary accidentally reveals cunning new Nationalist Neverendum victory plan:

“The function of education is to teach one to think intensively and to think critically.” – Martin Luther King, Jr. There’ll be none of that pish in our new Thicker Scotland said Constance yesterday.

By Thikaz Phukk – Educashun Corespondet

THE Nationalists were in meltdown last night as educashun secretary Angela Constance laid the blame for Scotland’s declining school litrasy and numrasy on the Nationalists.

“The equity gap is utterly unacceptable,” she said. “The difference between what we say we’ll do and what we actually do is nowhere near wide enough.

“Some children are not failed by our rhetoric on education and we want to make sure it is all children who are failed by it.

“We want to instil into the poor kids that it’s okay to own a X-Box 360 instead of a X-Box One and that the Galaxy S3 smartphone can be as good as the latest iphone – we’ll teach them patience and acceptance and, if they vote SNP, they can pick one up cheap from Cash Converters at a preferable rate.

“We believe in equity for Nationalist voters.”

But, the flailing secretary unwittingly let loose the real reason for the concerted lowering of litrasy and numrasy rates in Scotland when she told “astonished” journalists:

“We know from our polling data that the younger you are, the less well off you are and the thicker you are, the more likely you are to fall for and vote for Nationalist assertions.

“Critical faculties are suspended when you’re too dumb to think for yourself and poll after poll proves that the thicker you are the more likely you are to be taken in by our magic money tree economics.

“As the past eight years have shown, if you keep churning them out without the ability to analyse or formulate original thought, they’ll believe anything we tell them.

“Thicker for Scotland – that will win the next Neverendum.”

 

Angus Robertson – Skinner’s seat will be our Sudetenland

SNP’S GLOATING lightning war of triumphalism outflanked by 83 year old political veteran:

“With regard to the problem of the Sudeten Parliamentary Sitz, my patience is now at an end!” said Gruppenführer Angus Robertson yesterday.

By Gerrit Upye – Politisch Korrespondent

SCOTLAND’S WESTMINSTER Gruppenführer, Angus Robertson, last night signalled that his blitzkrieg of Nationalist triumphalism had been thwarted by a plucky 83 year old Tommy.

“I could cope”, he said, “with being a small and mostly insignificant party in the last parliament due to my appealing surround sound system purchased on Unionist parliamentary expenses.

“I could just about tolerate the jeers and jibes from the Unionist Untermenschen on the opposing benches following the snivelling cowardly result of the Neverendum debate.

“I could even put up with the counter-productive stream of pishy consciousness that forms the vast majority of Pete Wishart’s tweeting career.

“But,” he concluded, with barely concealed fury, “there is absolutely no way I am going to accept that my Schottisch Schocktruppen could not occupy and hold the seat of venerable 83 year old Labour Verräter Dennis Skinner.

“Our coup was plotted, planned and implemented with steely disciplined precision and still we were thwarted.

“Gott im Himmel. My Named Person could have done better if he had bothered to turn up.”

#RedTory rebel Dennis Skinner, 83, said: “The Nationalist lobby fodder were only following orders. Their Named Person Gruppenführer lost this time, but they will be back and I will be back before them.”

 

Scottish votes for English laws for foxes sake – campaigners

SNP set to face rock and hard place dilemma over English hunts for English foxes:

“When you are in a fix, often the fix is in you.” ― Ashok Kallarakkal. Send suggestions to help Angus out of his fix in green crayon to: Named Person, Gordon, Scotland.

By Forfox Sake

KIDDY ON SNP Westminster leader, Angus Robertson, yesterday defended himself against charges of moral inferiority in the face of the proposed repeal of the fox hunting ban in England.

He surprised animal rights activists by declaring “I know a lot of English foxes and they deserve to be hunted to exhaustion and torn apart by a pack of baying hounds. But that’s enough about Sally Bercow and her husband’s enemies in the media.”

The dilemma for the SNP leader in Salmond’s shadow is simple – do the SNP sell oot their principles and vote on English legislation or do they sell oot the cute furry animals in order to remain morally superior in their righteous voting stance.

Angus Robertson was clear on whose side the blame lay:

“This is all the basturt Tories fault,” he cried, “They’ve done this deliberately to screw us over. No matter what we do, a large swathe of Scottish and English voters are going to be foxing raging at us. I think this is a job for my Named Person.”

One possible way out for the Nationalists lies in a previous statement by Saint Nicola of Sturgeon who said that the SNP may vote on English legislation, such as health, if it affects Scotland .

“There’s no doubt that this vote will affect the health of our credibility in the eyes of Scottish and English voters” said Sturgeon.

“No matter how we do or don’t vote it’s obvious we will thereafter be hunted down and torn to pieces.”

Labour’s Holyrood environment spokeswoman, Sarah Boyack, called for the Nationalists to end the ban on voting for English laws as such a stance is “a brutal and unacceptable practice when you have 56 SNP MPs in an ‘English’ parliament.

“Scotland’s moral voice as part of the UK doesn’t end at Berwick-Upon-Tweed and the SNP must make clear that their previous voting principles were just a sham in order to appear morally superior.”

Desperately searching for anything which can make the issue of ‘Scottish’ interest. Saint Nicola of Sturgeon, recently.

 

Exclusive: Salmond takes on role of Named Person for vulnerable Scots MPs

SCOTLAND’S latest Named Person legislation will prove useful for vulnerable Scots MPs still finding their feet in the “scary” Tory haunted chambers of ‘Westmonster’:

Getting It Right For Every MP: Salmond (back to pic) is expected to take his new role of Named Person very seriously.

By Consol Idate-Powerbase

ALEX SALMOND is set to become the ‘(un)official’ named person responsible for the ‘wellbeing’ and ‘support’ of the newly elected political children of Scotland, according to a senior SNP source.

The Getting it Right for Every MP approach includes making a named person available for every SNP MP, from the time of election, right up until they’re unceremoniously booted out of the parliament in five years time.

In most cases, the Named Person will not have to do anything more than they usually do other than provide a cat herding, clique forming and alternative party power base consolidation role.

Most Scottish MPs are supposed to receive all the help they need from SNP Central’s Nicola Sturgeon and Peter Murrell.

The Named Person is expected to radically change these expectations.

Depending on the age and experience of the MP, the Named Person will be the first point of contact for the MP and his constituent family.

Referring to the eight Salmond wellbeing indicators, the Named Person will need to ask these five questions:

• What is getting in the way of this young MP’s wellbeing?
• Do I have the charm, guile and influence required to help this young MP?
• What can I do to appear as if I’m helping this young MP when I’m really helping myself?
• What can my party possibly do to counteract my influence on this young MP?
• What additional help can I stop this young MP from receiving from Sturgeon Central at Holyrood?

The Named Person also needs to help MPs feel confident they can raise concerns and talk about their worries to people who will listen and respect their point of view while completely ignoring it and using it to their own political advantage.

Above all, they will ensure that the MPs are listened to and that the SNP family in Holyrood (where appropriate) is kept completely in the dark.

A senior SNP source chuckled: “I am unavailable for comment.”

 

Exclusive: Scotland in danger from new strain of fact-resistant humans

NEW RESEARCH exposes dangerous fact immune virus currently sweeping through Scotland:

“Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.

By Maya Earsarshut

SCOTLAND: Social scientists have discovered a powerful new strain of fact resistant humans who are threatening the ability of the country to tolerate political opposition, according to a new academic study.

Research conducted by the University of the West of Scotland (UWS) has identified a virulent strain of ‘MacUber-humans’ who are virtually immune to any form of non-Nationalist rhetoric.

This new strain, also known as ‘Bravehearts’, ‘Flag Drapers’, ‘Wangers’ or ‘SNP Card Carrying Members’, are notable by their high information, low comprehension habits and their ability to regurgitate Nationalist propaganda at the mention of the BBC.

According to Professor Gerry Hassan of UWS, “These fact resistant humans appear to have all the faculties necessary to receive and process information. And yet they have developed groupthink defenses which, for all intents and purpose, have rendered those faculties completely redundant.”

More worryingly, Hassan said, “As Nationalist rhetoric gets ever more exposed for the threadbare sham that it is, their defenses against political reality have only grown more resistant and belligerent.”

While the research bods have no clear explanation for the phenomenon, one theory currently gaining ground is that the strain may have developed an ‘anti-Scottishness’ filter which protects them from inconvenient information disseminated against their country.

“The normal functions of political discourse and debate have been completely nullified and we are facing an epidemic of people immune to their country being talked down,” Hassan said.

Despite the gloomy outlook, Hassan held out hope that the threat of the MacUber-humans could be mitigated in the future. “The research is in the preliminary stages, but it’s possible they will become more receptive to facts once they are in an environment without food, public services or giro-cheques – also known as Full Fiscal Autonomy Scotland,” he said.

 

Moan Mcvulpine: Welcome to the weird world of Holyrood

MOAN SAYS the 100 per cent of Scots who vote have the right to expect Holyrood’s committee system to temper the excesses of the SNP majority government.

Majority Unicameral government – a virtual “Enabling Act”.

By Moan McVulpine – The auntie of anti-Scots accusers

THE UNICAMERAL system in the Scottish Parliament was originally a good idea.

Scottish voters, unaware of the system, were originally protected by the committee system’s plurality and diversity until a majority SNP government systematically proved it was not fit for purpose.

In fact, since 2011, the Nationalist government has abused it and vomited out a neverending list of authoritarian “mince” and incompetent legislation.

All too frequently, the Unicameral committee system is dominated by SNP MSPs.

Like the supine, loyal and disciplined New Labour styled spineless apparatchiks they really are, they rubber stamp the will of the executive and pay mere lip service to the committee system’s allegedly democratic role of legislative scrutiny.

Every time you hear a SNP drone politician moan about a “democratic deficit”, ask them to put their own house in order first.

Unless the rules change soon – and nobody’s holding their breath – the Scottish electorate will  eventually waken up to the real meaning of elected dictatorship.

There would be hope if an effective opposition could be found under a rock somewhere.

But, with the putrefaction of the Scottish Labour party continuing apace and the toxic fallout of the Tories continuously tainting their Scottish compatriots by association, that’s not going to happen any time soon.

By the time any competent opposition to the embedded Nationalists arrives, it’s likely to be too late.

In many ways, the Unicameral system has operated like a virtual “Enabling Act” – with apologies to Mr Godwin and his tediously dull adherents.

So yes, when zeitgeist Nationalists like Joan Mcalpine rabbit on about the archaic venerable joke that is the bicameral Westminster system, they should maybe be reminded to put their own house in order first.

The Unicameral system was never meant to support a majority government.

The SNP juggernaut with its centralising, dictatorial and authoritarian mindset has exploited that anomaly to the full. And we’re all paying the price.

COMEDY RELIEF

Moan McVulpine: Keir Hardie would back Labour if he were alive today

MOAN does her body snatching best to steal the mantle of social justice and moral superiority from the festering corpse of Scottish Labour.

By Moan McVulpine – putting the clap into claptrap

HOW WOULD Robert Cunninghame Graham, the founder of the National Party of Scotland, vote if he was alive today?

Who cares? He was a pink champagne socialist and nobleman playing at politics to assuage his privileged boredom. Much like ex-Westminster economist banker Alex Salmond.

As for Keir Hardie, Graham’s pal and founder of the Labour party, our activists in Cumnock, Ayrshire, where Hardie spent his final years and is laid to rest, say the feeling is the SNP don’t represent Cumnock values.

In fact, none of the parties appear to represent Cumnock values.

It’s a little known fact that during the indy-ref campaign, Cumnock held it’s own mini-referendum over the currency to be used in the town in the event of independence.

By an overwhelming majority of 80 – 20, Cumnock residents said they were happy to continue with the Giro.

Hardie, a temperance man, might have backed the SNP’s incompetent attempt at the economic prohibition of alcohol.

But even he would have seen that it leaves the middle-class unscathed with the same room for  maintaining functional alcoholism the class has always enjoyed.

He’d also see straight through the hypocrisy of a party which heavily promoted the figure of saving 60 lives from alcohol related deaths a year to promote the mostly useless bill.

All fine and upstanding in spirit, I’m sure, but it pales into insignificance when directly compared to the methadone related figure of 600 deaths per annum.

And yet nothing is done to address that growing social misfit timebomb. Ho hum. Let them drink heroin substitute. Or something.

Social justice? Progressive? Civic? I’m sure Mr Hardie would have had a thing or two to say about that.

When Joan McAlpine suggested that Hardie might sport an “I’m with Nicola” badge, the ghost of Hardie reputedly arose from his Cumnock grave and said “Beware faux socialists sporting middle class subsidies and calling it progressive.”

Hardie cared about working class people everywhere and had no truck with Nationalists – he would be appalled at Nicola’s monomaniacal Scottish independence obsession.

He would see straight through it for the division it drives between all the classes on this island.

But that’s Nationalism for you. It will take any guise, even the guise of socialism and social justice, in order to achieve its populist aims.

If only Nicola was honest enough to explain the immediate and ongoing fiscal repercussions of independence, or full fiscal autonomy for that matter, when it landed on the rocks of political reality.

As soon as Nicola and her cabal of identity politics hingers oan did that, then maybe an undivided Scotland would trust the Nationalists.

Until then, Keir Hardie can rest uneasily in his grave – despite the ill intentioned antics of political ghouls like Joan McAlpine necromantically resurrecting his name to promote their particular brand of Nationalism.

COMEDY RELIEF