Category Archives: Culture

Sturgeon endorses independence by Xmas 2018 – Review

Independence by Xmas 2018, a new currency, increased taxes, decentralisation of local government, a hard border with rUK and trust in the political class are the visions presented by Gordon Guthrie in his new book recommended and endorsed by Nicola Sturgeon. AhDinnaeKen took a quick peak:

First Minister endorses book which trashes previous SNP currency stance as "weak". There's a thing.

First Minister endorses book which trashes previous SNP currency stance as “weak”. Now, there’s a thing.

By Longshanker aka @ergasiophobe

“Scotland will become independent on the same day that the rUK leaves the European Union around Xmas 2018” reckons Gordon Guthrie in his new book, Winning the Second Independence Referendum: A Manifesto For Scotland In the European Union After Brexit.

It’s a bold claim which could easily be mocked and ridiculed before being summarily dismissed. But Guthrie is no fly by night nationalist fantasist. He’s one of the unsung heroes of the SNP’s spectacular electoral successes since 2007 onward: his analysis software, know how and ‘five year plan’, significantly contributed to the SNP’s ever increasing popularity and election gains since 2002. Guthrie joined the SNP in disgust at New Labour’s Iraq policy. Labour’s loss has been the SNP’s exponential gain.

Guthrie’s opinions matter. His personal manifesto, contained within this short, punchy, cogent, fast paced book, is easily worth the two pounds sterling you’ll probably not pay for it.

For there’s a real, hard, pragmatic edge to it. It’s neither sentimental nor emotional and at times could be described as brutal. For example, in the event of independence, Guthrie says: “there will be a violent squeeze on OpEx expenditure in Scotland and a jump in CapEx . The Holyrood based political class, and the institutions that support them will be put under severe pressure overseeing that.”

It’s an admission that there will be nae money to do virtually anything with.  There’s also a tacit inference of potential social unrest with “violent squeeze” and “severe pressure” being the giveaway. Coupled with his insistence that Scotland should have its own currency while dealing with the realities of a hard border at Gretna, it presents a virtual tap in for opponents who claim that independence would lead Scotland into levels of debt, poverty and penury which could set it back for decades.

Of particular interest to Scottish Unionists will be the notion that they “can only be betrayed” by their political Unionist brethern south of the border. For, according to Guthrie, the strongest Unionists in the UK are the Labour party – and they are currently a hopelessly divided and ineffective force in British politics.

The Conservative and Unionist Party, however, are transforming into little Englander, UKIP styled Nationalists. Their finger pointing blame game isn’t going to stop at Johnny European foreigner. ‘Whinging Jocks’ up North will inevitably become a target as the SNP Executive engages in increasingly intransigent demands over right wing Tory Nationalist Brexit plans.

A steady ship from the Scots Nationalists where they “must sit and wait patiently” while Brexit economic and political shockwaves destroy what’s left of Westminster’s political credibility and stability is the crux of the Guthrie gameplan. English Nationalist anti-Scot remonstrations will drive more Scottish No voters toward the Yes camp than Yessers ever could:

“Popular support for independence will not be won by the Yessers converting the No voters – but by the English Unionists chewing up and spitting out the Scottish ones.”

It’s hard to disagree. You can see the clear and present reality of that happening right now in front of your eyes – if only you cared to look.

Where Guthrie appears to be further out of step with current SNP leanings lies in his demand that there must be a new Scottish currency. Here, his argument takes a nosedive. There is no mention of where and how we would build the needed reserves to make such a currency viable in international markets – though he does concede that higher taxes and pain are an inevitability either with or without independence.

Instead he focuses on the issues of operating a dual currency economy – citing Northern Ireland and the Czech-Slovak velvet divorce as the examples to take lessons from. The rationale is there, but the elephant in the room of where the reserves are going to come from is blindsided. It, like the Yes currency argument of 2014, is still the independence movement’s bogeyman.

He’s also out of step with SNP policy and action with his plea that there must be less centralisation and more decisions taken locally: “We are beset with the sins of centralisation too, and we must shake off those habits.”

But that’s unlikely under the current Nationalist regime. Quite the reverse is happening now in modern ‘civic’, ‘democratically awakened’ Scotland: institutions and local councils are being, almost routinely, defenestrated, hollowed out and brought under increasing Holyrood/Sturgeon/Murell control.

However, one place Guthrie’s book wins is in its strategic long term optimistic vision of Scotland as a major European player in the sphere of digital innovation. There is a convincing, aspring and inspiring case made here for Scotland’s current position in the tech scene to be expanded upon and exploited within a Brexit scenario.

Skyscanner and Fanduel, from having a couple of handfuls of employees six or seven years ago, are now billion dollar companies with thousands of employees. They are a success story which demonstrates the power of multi-national, multi-ethnic cooperation – about a quarter to a third of their employees are not UK born. And it’s this outlook and culture, combined with naked ambition, which Guthrie considers would enable Scottish companies to take on and compete aggressively with Berlin. It’s the sort of fighting talk which fires up this jaded Scot into believing in the innovative potential of oor great wee country and oor great wee people – even though a large part of the game plan hinges on the influx of hundreds of thousands of highly paid, highly skilled immigrants.

Of course, the offset of Guthrie’s infectious optimism is that it unravels with some of its appeals to trust: “The second part is to put our trust in our fellow citizens, people who just happen to work for a local council, or the civil service, or who we have elected into office.”

A major element of the success of the SNP has been in its hoovering up of this disaffected distrust of public institutions and the political class. Scots, in general, have felt increasingly disenfranchised from the political process since the election of Margaret Thatcher in 1979 – ironically assisted into power by a willing and complicit SNP. Tony Blair’s New Labour further reinforced and cemented this disaffection.

But the SNP are only as trustable as the parties they have replaced and obliterated in Scotland. And, given that much of their success has relied on the apeing of the New Labour machine politic, that’s hardly a swingeing endorsement or testament to their trustability or competence to deliver on their promises.

Guthrie also demonstrates an almost idealistically naive belief and trust in the EU as a benevolent force for good: “For Scotland, the European Union is a union of equals and the UK was not.”

You only have to take a look at the treatment of Greece and the hardship currently imposed on its people by the European Union’s Brussels-Berlin nexus to sneer at that belief. If that’s a ‘Union of equals’ then UKIP are a progressive and civic party of altruistic philanthropists – a debate for another book and another dimension in time and space.

The latter half of the Guthrie manifesto covers the practical steps with which Scotland could affect its full transition to independence. It positively hums with Guthrie’s digital expertise and optimistic ‘trust’. It reads like an integrated system of varyingly ambitious subroutines in a complex and functionally synchronised computer program.

And that’s no bad thing. If only councils, public institutions, businesses and government could integrate with such harmonious machine efficiency – we’d be laughing all the way to the Sugarcandy mountain bank.

Overall though, Guthrie has taken the brave step of presenting a cogent, honest and mostly credible vision of how an independent Scotland could look and act in a post-Brexit future. It’s not perfect and it’s not wholly convincing – but that conclusion will depend on your political leanings and outlook.

Where the book does win however is in the optimistic pragmatism of the vision it presents. It’s not the sterile Salmondesque technocratic vision of economic levers and unconvincing currency unions; rather, it’s a working template which, after a lot of penury, poverty and social unrest along the way, could just work for the betterment and enrichment of the country.

Nicola Sturgeon’s endorsement and promotion of the book earlier this month seems rather odd given Guthrie’s trashing of the previous referendum currency stance as “weak”, his belief that there would probably be a hard border between Scotland and rUK, and the need for decentralisation of local government. But, as Nicola said, Guthrie’s book is good and fairly quick to read – “recommended”.

A cogent and challenging read. Gordon Guthrie (above) presents a vision of an independent Scotland which will challenge Unionsists and Nationalists alike.

A cogent and challenging read. Gordon Guthrie (above) presents a vision of an independent Scotland which will challenge Unionists and Nationalists alike.

 

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Drunk on power SNP leave Scottish voters to deal with the hangover

THE SNP’S inability to accept defeat with any humility or dignity was, once again, all too transparent this week. The opinion of the Advocate General of the European Court of Justice dealt a devastating blow to their flagship Jakie Apartheid Bill (Minimum Unit Pricing Bill). Yet, they’ve vowed to fight on to what can only be a humiliating and inglorious defeat. AhDinnaeKen reports:

"We will continue our attacks on the alcoholic products that the working class drink" paraphrased the Health Minister recently.

“We will continue our attacks on the alcoholic products that the neddy working class insist on drinking” paraphrased the Health Minister recently.

By Longshanker aka @ergasiophobe

THE SNP’S legislative competence suffered humiliating rejection this week at the hands of the Advocate General of the European Court of Justice.

Yves Bot’s legal opinion that the SNP’s proposed Jakie Apartheid Bill would only be legal if no other mechanism – such as increasing taxes – was capable of bringing about public health benefits, has effectively left the bill scotched on the rocks.

It isn’t a final ruling, but anyone with a modicum of political sobriety can see that the Nationalists moral temperance crusade against the drunken lower classes has lost. Even Tennent’s, one of the loudest and highest profile vested interest supporters of the Act, conceded defeat.

Paul Bartlett, the group managing director for C&C Group (Tennents ) in an interview with BBC ‘Pravda’ said: “I think that today’s ruling looks like that’s not going to happen or it’s going to be delayed.”

Despite the virtual finality of the legal opinion, the First Minister insisted on further diminishing her reputation as a ‘formidable politician’ by vowing to fight on.

She said: “Importantly, this initial opinion indicates it will be for the domestic courts to take a final decision on minimum unit pricing. The Advocate General finds that the policy can be implemented if it is shown to be the most effective public health measure available.”

Her statement unwittingly highlights the paucity and limitations of the unicameral system at Holyrood. If the Bill had been subjected to proper scrutiny and legal testing by a detached, objective and expert second chamber, it’s unimaginable it would have achieved Royal Assent in its current form.

As such, Sturgeon’s pronouncement is a tacit admission that the SNP legislators did not treat the bill rigorously enough or competently enough for legal enactment despite its Royal Assent.

That the First Minister was, and is, prepared to subject Scotland’s Court of Session to take on the role of legislative scrutinisers – the very role which the unicameral committee system is supposed to have undertaken – demonstrates the wilful recklessness, disrespect and contempt she holds the Scottish court, the Scottish Parliament, and the sovereign Scottish people in.

With luck, the final ruling of the European Court of Justice will be framed in such watertight language that Sturgeon balks at subjecting the Scottish Court to the degrading role of Holyrood committee by proxy.

Sturgeon has already seen the Court of Session rule in her favour after the initial challenge by the various alcohol bodies – notably the Scottish Whisky Association (SWA) – failed in 2013. No doubt she was encouraged by that court’s findings when Lord Docherty ruled that “it was unnecessary and inappropriate to refer any question of EU law to the Court of Justice for a preliminary ruling.”

In light of subsequent events and the EU Advocate General’s opinion, the Court of Session’s initial ruling could justifiably be viewed with a modicum of suspicion by anyone not of an SNP bent – seeing that the European Court of Justice (ECJ) opinion had just completely contradicted the Scottish court.

Arguably, the “no other mechanism” test, which Sturgeon’s temperance bill would have to pass, has already been undermined by her own amendment implemented at Stage 2 of the bill’s progress through the Scottish Parliament:

“Amendment 2, in the name of Nicola Sturgeon MSP, will require Scottish Ministers to evaluate the effect of minimum pricing five years after it comes into force and report to the Parliament.”

In other words, the SNP had no realistic idea what effect the implementation of the Bill would have. The desired ‘effect’ of reduced consumption of cheap high alcohol drinks by problem working class drinkers was based on modelling crafted by a research department at Sheffield University – a system labelled by critics as “no better than a weather forecast”.

Hardly a reassurance to the casual supporter of Scotland’s MUP bill that it won’t be raining heavily on the SNP’s parade come ECJ judgement time. With no other precedent set by any free trading country in the world, with the possible exception of Canada, the outcome appears inevitable.

In Canada, there is a form of minimum pricing – not directly comparable to the minimum unit pricing proposed in the SNP Bill – known as ‘social reference pricing’. It was introduced to protect the Canadian beer industry from the devastating effect of cheap alcohol imports.

The Canadian system and its purpose also provides much needed context for the motivation behind Tennents support of the MUP Bill. You don’t have to be a cynic to come to a cynical conclusion.

The SWA were pleased as punch that the SNP's incompetent legislation will not thwart their plan to flood the Scottish and European markets with non-Triple distilled cheap vodka. Tennent's, predictably enough, were 'pissed' off.

The SWA were pleased as punch that the SNP’s incompetent legislation will not thwart their evil plan to flood the Scottish and European markets with non-Triple distilled cheap vodka. Tennent’s, predictably enough, were ‘pissed’ off.

The SNP Government made hay with research carried out in British Columbia which asserted that alcohol related deaths had gone down in the province in direct correlation to an eighteen per cent price increase.

But, as was later revealed by the SWA, the figures provided by Dr Tim Stockwell, director of the University of Victoria’s Centre for Addiction Research, were estimates based on a modelling similar to Sheffield University’s. Deaths were reported to have increased over the time period of the British Columbia price increase.

So, at best, it’s unproven that increasing the price of alcohol results in less deaths.

Also important is the SNP assertion that MUP would result in 60 less deaths a year: they’re sticking to that Sheffield University modelling figure. To AhDinnaeKen it has the same tone and believability as pre-IndyRef Nationalist assertions on currency and automatic entry to the European Union .

In other words it looks and feels like gesture politicking illiteracy: something sceptics have learned to live with under the current tedious wave of Nationalist euphoria affecting the voting population of Scotland.

Like the referendum, the opinion of the Advocate General has signalled a resounding defeat to the puritan will of the SNP. Like the referendum, the SNP is not willing to accept the defeat with anything approaching respect or an honourable outcome. And, like the referendum, the SNP has helped further diminish the role of civic bodies, whom many Scots previously trusted, such as the civil service and the courts.

The Scottish Court of Session, despite its acquiescence to the Scottish Executive in 2013, will have no option but to follow the ECJ’s definitive ruling whenever that may be.

It’s not set in stone yet, but one thing’s for sure, when the realisation dawns on the SNP that their flagship economic prohibition bill is deid in the water, the  blame will eventually be placed on Westminster.

 

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SNP MPs wear the little white rose of fascist gesture politics

THE LITTLE white rose on display in the House of Commons yesterday was a metaphor for the SNP’s transparent gesture politics says “vacuous cynic” Longshanker:

"It is always more difficult to fight against faith than against knowledge." - Adolf Hitler.  The White Rose faithful would agree with that no doubt.

“It is always more difficult to fight against faith than against knowledge.” – Adolf Hitler. The White Rose faithful fifty-six would agree with that sentiment no doubt.

By Longshanker aka @ergasiophobe

THE SCOTTISH National party paid tribute to Nazi sympathising fascist poet Hugh MacDiarmid at the Queen’s speech yesterday.

Sporting the little white rose of Scotland, that wisnae really a little white rose of Scotland but a big white rose of England, the fascist fifty-six looked like a block of synchronised brownshirt apparatchiks.

Stepford MPs, so to speak.

Indeed, in many ways, the stance of the block was symbolic of centralised diktat ‘dae whit yer telt’ behaviour – all in the name of moral superiority and communal self-righteousness of course.

For the cult supporters back home, the gesture may have been intended to portray unity of purpose, but it was all too transparent for apostates of the Nationalist cause to see what was happening. It was like Parliamentary Star Wars: Attack of the Drones.

And the little white rose posturing perfectly captured and exposed the falsity of the Scottish Nationalists – like Salmond’s ‘most accurate’ parliamentary answer ever – they didnae even get it right. Tsk tsk etc etc.

White rose falsityAs so neatly and sarcastically portrayed by Muriel Gray in the tweet above, the roses, like the SNP’s rhetoric and gesture politics were false – impostors pretending to be something they weren’t.

Ian Smart is a much maligned bête noire of the cybernats and SNP politicians these days, but the open and public tribute by the fascist fifty-six to Hugh MacDiarmid is telling. Smart frequently refers to the SNP’s fascist/Nazi sympathising past and receives predictable abuse for doing so.

Aside from the fact that MacDiarmid’s poetry is so boring it could ossify air, the wee nasty intolerant fascist bigot was well known for his political extremism.
In a letter to his chum Sorley MacLean, written in 1940, MacDiarmid said that the British bourgeoisie were a “far greater enemy” than Hitler’s Germany.

And yet, the fascist fifty-six proudly sported their false roses in tribute to one of MacDiarmid’s piss pathetically parochial poems: the Little White Rose of Scotland. Maybe MacDiarmid’s belief that fascism offered the best model for an independent Scotland was coursing through their veins as they sported their roses with pride.

Who knows, but it’s an ill omen that the Nationalists would be so bold as to lionise MacDiarmid in the name of standing up for Scotland.

For anyone who cares about the social union of these islands – something Salmond was keen to stress would remain intact upon independence being achieved – the following unpublished words of MacDiarmid in relation to the impending bombing of London by the Nazis should never be forgotten:

“Now when London is threatened
With devastation from the air
I realise, horror atrophying me,
That I hardly care.”

Guernica in Spain had proven the terror and devastation which air war brought to civilian populations and MacDiarmid was fully aware of that when he penned those words.

Men, women and children all suffered horribly during the blitz on London. They were murdered, maimed and mutilated through relentless bombing from the air and wee Hughie MacDiarmid didnae care a jot because they were English.

Yesterday the SNP took that fascist inhumane sentiment into the heart of London in the UK parliament and brazenly brandished it with their meaningless faith based and false gesture politics.

If it wasn’t so transparent, shameful and disgusting it would have been laughable.

The fascist fifty-six in the House of Commons, yesterday.

The fascist fifty-six pose for a big selfie ootside the Hoose o’ Commons, yesterday.

 

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Lookalike: Rallies on tour

Lookalikes - Rallies

Sir

Has anyone noticed the similarity between the state sponsored rally in 2014 which “changed Scottish politics forever” and the state sponsored rally in 1938 which “changed Euro-politics forever”? I think we should be told.

Yours

Goebbels Murdoch

 

 

 

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That Wiz The Week That Wiznae #Indyref Media Bias

 This week AhDinnaeKen casts its eye over the tediously dull view of too many Nationalists that BBC Scotland is proactively biased against indepedence :

“There are today many Unionists in Scotland. They are everywhere -- in factories, offices, butcher stores, on street corners, in private businesses. And each carries in himself the germ of death of freedom.” ― J. Howard MacNewsnat

“There are today many Unionists in Scotland. They are everywhere — in factories, offices, butcher stores, on street corners, in private businesses. And each carries in himself the germ of death of freedom.” ― J. Howard MacNewsnat

By Longshanker aka @ergasiophobe

 ‘CRACKPOT’ WEBSITE CLAIMS BBC IS BIASED AGAINST INDEPENDENCE

NEWSNAT SCOTLAND is reportedly the most popular and widely read of the internet’s pro-independence grievance websites.

That tells you all you need to know about the current direction of the online indy debate – more than you need to know, in fact.

The Newsnat site is engaged in a sustained McCarthyite styled vendetta against the BBC. They perceive oor dear old aunty Beeb to have embarked on a heinous campaign of anti-independence bias.

This time, Douglas Fraser, the Beeb’s Scottish business correspondent, is the unwitting target of the crackpot site’s ire and disdain.

According to Newsnat’s clunky analogue reporter G.A. Ponseybody, the Beeb have colluded in some kind of sinister, Better Together coordinated, negative campaign against independence.

And Ponseybody implies that BBC reporters such as Fraser are doing their best to aid their BT political masters.

Ponseybody made the woeful accusation regarding this statement from Fraser: “Sterling is not an asset. You can’t split it up. It’s not something you get an eight point four per cent population share.”

The BBC business correspondent also added: “If the first thing you do even before you get independence is to repudiate your debt because you are having a spat with your neighbour, the bond markets may take a very dim view of it.”

Ponseybody moaned: “It’s straight out of the anti-independence campaign handbook and a line that is used by pretty much every pro-Union commentator when arguing against a currency-union.”

Ponseybody couldnae be any more crackers if you added cheese and whine. Which he does, of course, with an overegged clunkily hamfisted relish.

Given that neither Germany nor hallowed Norway nor the majority of market traders consider currency to be an asset, it’s fairly safe to assume that Fraser’s in good company by saying such.

It’s also worth remembering that Fraser is the BBC’s Scottish business editor. That means – if it needs spelling out – that he deals with high, middle and low ranking business people every day of the week. Y’know currency speculators, bond marketers, traders, directors, chief executives etc.
Consequently, it’s fairly safe to conclude that Fraser knows what he’s talking about in the field of business, debt and bond markets – unlike Ponseybody on the media.

Better Together Unionist stooge or BBC Scotland's Business editor? You decide. Answers in green ink to Newsnat Scotland.

Better Together Unionist stooge or BBC Scotland’s Business editor? You decide. Answers in green ink to Newsnat Scotland @paranoiasville.

It begs the unanswered question, why on earth would Fraser put his job and reputation on the line by acting as a spokesperson for a recently formed political campaign? He’s bigger and more professional than that.

Ponseybody’s and Newsnat’s current whining and moaning ‘grievance’, obsesses over the minutiae of an alleged ‘blackout’ by aunty Beeb of a Standard & Poors (S&P) statement published in February. The statement, amongst many other details, said that an indy Scotland would have an investment grade rating in the event of it becoming independent.

In a radio report at the beginning of March, Fraser interviewed Frank Gill of S&P who reiterated: “If Scotland were an independent country it would have an investment grade rating.

In an earlier television report on the 28th Feb, the Beeb didn’t report the S&P statement that way.

The reason was simple. The S&P statement lost out to newswroom bias. It lost out to the bias inherent of virtually every good news organisation out there – a bias which most online Nationalists display no conception of, perception of or interest in.

It’s not the type of political bias asserted by conspiracy theory crackpots like Ponseybody, but, to be fair to the crackpots, it‘s bias, nevertheless.

Almost everyone has heard of the phrase, “a good day to bury bad news”. It used to be a favourite tactic of New Labour spin doctors who, almost to a man or woman, made it their political modus operandi.

Put simply, the Standard & Poors statement was a victim of timing. It coincided with Standard Life’s announcement regarding the company’s contingency plan in the event of Scottish independence.

Ironically, S&P’s credit rating statement was published on the same day in which its ‘good news’ got buried by a much more important story – in effect, it was a bad day to get good news buried.

Ask anyone on the street what is most important to them – a conceptual credit rating for a hypothetical independent country, or people losing their jobs in a company they work for.

There’s no contest. The jobs story wins every time – unless you’re a constitutional zealot or a hate-preaching kiddy-on media monitor.

The S&P report lost out to ‘Bad News’ bias and ‘Immediacy’ bias and if you stretch it a bit, ‘Narrative’ bias:

Potential job losses versus conceptual credit rating for hypothetical independent country. Which are you most interested in?

Potential job losses versus conceptual credit rating for hypothetical independent country. Which are you most interested in?

Good news is boring. It might be harsh, it might not be right, but ‘bad news’ bias is one of the inherent biases present in virtually every good news organisation. Bad news grabs attention, it represents threat and it puts politicians on the back foot. Most news on telly is bad news.

The Standard Life story also came to light before the S&P statement which was consequently supplanted as a matter of timing. Aside from losing out to ‘bad news’ bias therefore, the S&P story was also a victim of ‘Immediacy’ bias.

News journalists compete amongst themselves, other news competitors and the internet. Given that the Standard Life announcement was the big indy story of the day, it’s no surprise that S&P lost out.

It also lost out to ‘Narrative’ bias and got itself re-appropriated as a verification stop gap for the Standard Life bad news story.

It’s the reason why Douglas Fraser has become the latest in a long line of BBC hate figures for McCarthyite crackpots like G.A. Ponseybody at Newsnat Scotland.

In the middle of Fraser’s TV report on Standard Life on the 28th Feb, he quoted S&P in the following manner: “The challenges facing an independent Scotland would be significant but not unsurpassable“.

A wee mention for verification of the potential problems facing an independent Scotland. Nae luck Ponsyebody. Yer tea's oot.

A wee mention for verification of the potential problems facing an independent Scotland. Nae luck Ponsyebody. Yer tea’s oot.

The quote was lifted directly from the last line of Standard and Poors statement – the summary – and it fitted in with both the narrative of the Standard Life story and the ‘immediacy’ of the need for a secondary trusted source.

Simples.

That Fraser then found time in a later radio report to interview Standard & Poor’s Frank Gill, is the proof which dispels Ponseybody’s scurrilous and risible accusation against Fraser of acting as a frontman for Better Together.

This feature, as if it needs said, is basic Media Studies stuff. Its main premise is dealt with more eloquently (and with less of a word count) by the estimable Alex Massie here.

But it begs the question. Just how much understanding do diehard Nationalists actually have of how the modern media works? Why do they seem to think that frothing on the internet on social media and blog sites is part of the independence zeitgeist – part of the alleged indy momentum.

They seem blissfully unaware of how much they are embarrassing themselves, their fellow Scots and, by proxy – given the context – their country.

The existence of sites like Newsnat Scotland and its ilk peddling McCarthyite style stories of Unionists under the metaphorical bed only encourages such idiotic paranoia.

Luckily, websites like Newsnat aren’t taken too seriously. They’re nothing but suppositories/repositories for Nationalist grievance merchants.

Roll on September 18.

[NB: Cutoff. I was going ramble on about the actual appearace of the BBC bigwigs at the Committee for Education and Culture – a Nationalist dominated committee which has serial question dodger and marriage wrecker Joan McAlpine as a member. But the piece is already too long.]

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Bullingdon posh boy set to punish workshy oiks

Towel folding Chancer’s recent announcement to penalise the long term jobless for their wilful idleness will have several beneficial economic offshoots, according to absolutely nobody. AhDinnaeKen investigates:

Hard working people need to be able to recognise "the enemy (virus) within." said Gideon Richborne yesterday.

“Hard working people need to be able to recognise the enemy (virus) within.” said Gideon Richborne yesterday.

By Hardquore Scrownjar

THE LONG term unemployed are to be punished in order to drive key economic indicators for the Benevolent Tories it has been claimed.

Chancer of the Exchequer, Gideon Richborne, is set to announce a range of punishments for the plebs of society later this afternoon at the Tory Tory Tory conference.

Richborne will promise an exponential increase in misery, poverty, humiliation, despair, suicide and crime.

The long term unemployed haven’t been stigmatised enough according to the Bullingdon Chancer and this populist measure is expected to increase his party’s election chances in 2015.

The £300 million “Help Us to Get Elected” package will see 200,000 assorted low-lifes, illiterates, drug addicts and reprobates given no other choice than to do what their Conservative betters tell them.

And the measure is expected to have the added benefit of keeping the lowly paid in line in order to boost their superiors bank balance.

According to Conservative Bankers for Business spokesperson, Hartless B’Stard, the move will have several societal benefits for the Tory Party.

He said: “Driving the benefits bill down means that we can also drive wages down in the full knowledge that nobody will give up their shitty and soul destroying low-paid job in case they fall into our hands. Result!”

It is also expected that people losing their benefit will engage in entrepreneurial activities such as hanging themselves, overdosing, mugging old grannies, casual theft, prostitution and aggravated burglary.

People placed on the new scheme will have to wear a yellow star on their shoulder so that decent hard working voters can instantly identify them.

“This something for nothing virus has spread through our society like a cancer” said a random pub bore.

“Gideon has the right idea. For every pleb he can get off benefits, that’s another free bottle of bolly for the next Tory party conference. Hurrah for our poshboy social superiors.”

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Supermarket puts political mental patient costume on sale

BASDA basks in the limelight after proud claims that a fancy dress costume for sale on its website stigmatises political health problems.

How scary's that? BASDA are proud of their scariest costume in 300 years.

How scary’s that? BASDA are proud of their scariest costume in 300 years.

By Parcella Roges

SUPERMARKET CHAIN BASDA will withdraw an item advertised as a “political mental patient fancy dress costume”, following a barrage of praise and criticism.

The costume, which is designed to look like a credible politician, was put on sale to corporate fatcats for “backscratching favours” through the supermarket’s secret deals arm, Clandestine Operations.

Many people took to Twitter to add their penny worth for Scotland.

Charity ‘Go Homeward Tae Think Again’ posted on its Twitter account: “Well done BASDA. That’s the scariest costume you’ve sold in 300 years. The Basturt English will think twice before messing with us.”

Former spin doctor Kevin Bagapringles also commented: “Look what BASDA’s selling… #projectfeartie strikes back.”

The chain posted on its own Twitter account: “We’re deeply proud our fancy dress costume has put the willies up people. This was a calculated act guaranteed to frichten friends and foes alike.”

A spokesperson said the decision was a calculated act guaranteed to put £500 extra pounds sterling in every Scottish citizen’s pocket.

The costume is expected to be withdrawn on 19th September 2014

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