THEY tried to fight them on the benches, they tried to fight them in the lobbies, but all it took was the guile of two veteran MPs to repel the cream of the Tartan hordes:
By Allies Armie – Tartan Goonery correspondent
THE MOST ambitious tartan invasion of Westminster was thwarted this week as SNP ‘goon’ tactics were repulsed on the beaches of the commons green benches.
After four long and exhaustive days of achieving hee haw, the SNP MP hordes were finally faced down and defeated by two plucky pensioners in solitary counter attacks.
Veteran fighting Tommy, Dennis Skinner MP, established and held a bridgehead on the commons benches throughout the week by using a simple diversionary tactic to outflank the Nationalist goons .
And Faither o’ the Hoose, Gerald Kaufman MP, delivered a metaphorical kick in the stones to the pride of the black and yellow hordes.
He said: “It’s all very well for them to try a mob attack en masse, but to try and move one of the longest-serving members of parliament out of a seat that he’s occupied for decades, it’s stupid, Skinner is much too wiley for them, as the results of this futile battle showed.
“They’re goons and it’s plain for all to see that they want to publicly match Salmond’s cheap stunt expulsion from the commons when he interrupted the Chancellor’s Budget speech in 88.
“Even then, Skinner was in before them. In 1985 Skinner used the Ten-Minute Rule Bill to call the Chancellor to account so, even then, the SNP were left following in Skinner’s wake.”