SNP ambitions thwarted as the Empire Strikes Back

THEY tried to fight them on the benches, they tried to fight them in the lobbies, but all it took was the guile of two veteran MPs to repel the cream of the Tartan hordes:

Despite having youth and overwhelming numbers on their side, this coterie of SNP MPs still could not take and hold Dennis Skinner's seat at Westminster.

Despite having youth and overwhelming numbers on their side, this coterie of SNP MPs still could not take and hold Dennis Skinner’s seat at Westminster.

By Allies ArmieTartan Goonery correspondent

THE MOST ambitious tartan invasion of Westminster was thwarted this week as SNP ‘goon’ tactics were repulsed on the beaches of the commons green benches.

After four long and exhaustive days of achieving hee haw, the SNP MP hordes were finally faced down and defeated by two plucky pensioners in solitary counter attacks.

Veteran fighting Tommy, Dennis Skinner MP, established and held a bridgehead on the commons benches throughout the week by using a simple diversionary tactic to outflank the Nationalist goons .

And Faither o’ the Hoose, Gerald Kaufman MP, delivered a metaphorical kick in the stones to the pride of the black and yellow hordes.

He said: “It’s all very well for them to try a mob attack en masse, but to try and move one of the longest-serving members of parliament out of a seat that he’s occupied for decades, it’s stupid, Skinner is much too wiley for them, as the results of this futile battle showed.

“They’re goons and it’s plain for all to see that they want to publicly match Salmond’s cheap stunt expulsion from the commons when he interrupted the Chancellor’s Budget speech in 88.

“Even then, Skinner was in before them. In 1985 Skinner used the Ten-Minute Rule Bill to call the Chancellor to account so, even then, the SNP were left following in Skinner’s wake.”

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3 Comments

Filed under CyberNats, Diplomacy, SNP-MPs

3 responses to “SNP ambitions thwarted as the Empire Strikes Back

  1. Alec

    Breaking! Alistair Carmichael to be reported to God!

  2. Jonathan Dobson

    i am concerned about the cult of the SNP leader , i would point out that it was dennis cannavan not skinner that used the 10 minute rule per your article – truth should be promoted – i notice that no snp has not mentioned scottish oil since it went from their conservative $113 a barrel in their white paper to at its lowest $49 a barrel if my househould income went down by that much i would be goosed. also the eu rules about banks must be headquartered in the place they do the most business – so rbs and hbos would go down south and i do not think westminster would let the jobs be offshored in an independent Scotland but that is just me.

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