SNP’S GLOATING lightning war of triumphalism outflanked by 83 year old political veteran:
By Gerrit Upye – Politisch Korrespondent
SCOTLAND’S WESTMINSTER Gruppenführer, Angus Robertson, last night signalled that his blitzkrieg of Nationalist triumphalism had been thwarted by a plucky 83 year old Tommy.
“I could cope”, he said, “with being a small and mostly insignificant party in the last parliament due to my appealing surround sound system purchased on Unionist parliamentary expenses.
“I could just about tolerate the jeers and jibes from the Unionist Untermenschen on the opposing benches following the snivelling cowardly result of the Neverendum debate.
“I could even put up with the counter-productive stream of pishy consciousness that forms the vast majority of Pete Wishart’s tweeting career.
“But,” he concluded, with barely concealed fury, “there is absolutely no way I am going to accept that my Schottisch Schocktruppen could not occupy and hold the seat of venerable 83 year old Labour Verräter Dennis Skinner.
“Our coup was plotted, planned and implemented with steely disciplined precision and still we were thwarted.
“Gott im Himmel. My Named Person could have done better if he had bothered to turn up.”
#RedTory rebel Dennis Skinner, 83, said: “The Nationalist lobby fodder were only following orders. Their Named Person Gruppenführer lost this time, but they will be back and I will be back before them.”