Sturgeon: Sincere or sleekit? You decide.

AN EXTRACT from Firstminster’s questions yesterday:

By Longshanker aka @ergasiophobe

TRUST ME! That was the crux of Sturgeon’s weak defence at FMQs yesterday.

Despite the Presiding Officer giving the Firstminster an unprecedented ‘out’, the Scottish Nationalist Party leader, instead, opted to evade head-on the public’s thirst for information on what she knew or didn’t know about Michelle Thomson MP’s business dealings.

She must think the people of Scotland’s collective heids zip up the back. (Though, given the reaction on social media, some clearly do.)

There are many pressing issues being forced on Scotland today. One of them is the risible belief that the SNP hold some sort of political moral high ground and can point the finger of puritanism and righteousness at the immorality and social injustice of their Unionist opposition.

No longer.

The predatory business conduct of Michelle Thomson – leaving any alleged illegalities aside – demonstrates that the Nationalists are no better than those they accuse of civic misgivings.

For Nicola Sturgeon to waste parliament and the country’s time evading the question of the ‘morality’ of Thomson’s business dealings – assuming they were legitimate – was an insult to every man, woman and child in the country whose concerns are ignored in the pursuit of political damage limitation.

FMQs is supposed to be the chance for the SNP government to showcase their probity and how competently they are running the devolved elements of the country.

Sturgeon’s lack of credible answers yesterday was damning.

Kezia Dugdale asked: “Can the First Minister tell parliament if anybody in the SNP, whether it’s Nicola Sturgeon herself, SNP politicians or SNP officials at any level, were aware of Michelle Thomson’s allegations before they were printed in the Sunday Times?”

At this point, the SNP Presiding Officer, Tricia Marwick, in an unprecedented move, stepped in to assist her Firstminster. She told her she didn’t have to answer.

Sturgeon, realising the further damage it would cause if she hid behind parliamentary protocol, insisted she had no problem in dealing with the Scottish Labour leader’s issue.

“As I said yesterday, the SNP did not have prior knowledge of any of these issues” she said.

It beggared belief and insulted the collective intelligence of the people of Scotland.

The Scottish Nationalist Party have one of the slickest, well oiled, media machines in the UK. Or, at least, they used to .

They have a backroom army of media monitors, schmoozers and PRs ready to report transgressions and potential damage to HQ at a moment’s notice.

The Scottish Sun, in July 2014 – a couple of months before the Neverendum vote – claimed they brought Michelle Thomson’s business dealings to the attention of the police:

“Scottish Sun flagged it up to police in July 2014″ Tweeted the Scottish Sun’s Home Affairs Editor, Chris Musson.

Is Nicola Sturgeon really expecting the people of Scotland to believe that nobody in the SNP, anywhere, was aware of this?

She’s either telling us that we’re all incredibly stupid or her party machine from the grass roots up is totally incompetent.

Neither conclusion is a good look for those claiming to be “Stronger for Scotland.”

For Sturgeon to persist in evading the ‘morality’ issue of Thomson’s predatory business deals – regardless of the legality – is a burning, shaming indictment of the state of Scotland’s official political government.

Now, it can’t be said that we’re not bothered about the insult to the collective intelligence of the people of Scotland. But Sturgeon’s credibility as a sincere politician is almost running on empty.

Her reputation was “dented” when it was revealed that she sought clemency for serial benefit fraudster Abdul Rauf who systematically stole £80,000 from honest taxpayers.

Her reputation took damage from her alleged ignorance of the wife beating past of Bill Walker when he was selected as the SNP MSP candidate for Dunfermline.

And she further compromised her reputation by defending Salmond’s blatant “lie” over European legal advice.

Her secret, undeclared, meeting with Rupert Murdoch in New York didn’t warm her to this correspondent either.

Now, she expects us to believe that she and her party knew nothing of Michelle Thomson’s business dealings. This, after the SNP vetting procedures for candidates was allegedly tightened up, following the Bill Walker scandal.

No, Scotland as a whole is shamed by this pitiful calibre of politician. If every SNP MP and MSP was to be replaced by random sheep and chimps, the nation would almost certainly be better served – though, admittedly, it would be difficult to tell the difference.

Nicola’s euphemistic ‘Trust me’ highlighted in the Youtube clip above might cut it for the hardcore Nationalists out there.

Anyone else really should reconsider just how much contempt sleekit Sturgeon is holding them in.

Sturgeon’s “commitment to social justice” is not “beyond any question”. It was questioned several times in yesterday’s FMQs.

And it was found wanting.

Hope over Fear? Sturgeon over McAlpine? You decide!

PAUL HUTCHEON’S recent Sunday Herald exposé of Tommy Sheridan’s thuggish security personnel has unwittingly revealed further tensions within the SNP. In Hutcheon’s piece, Nicola Sturgeon unequivocally distanced her party from Tommy Sheridan’s Hope over Fear campaign. Yet, ex-First Ministerial aide, Joan McAlpine, openly supported the convicted perjurer’s self promoting vehicle held in “Freedom Square” last week. AhDinnaeKen investigates:

“..unrepentant criminals are not a good look for us.” said Women for Independence supporter Katie McGarvie before Tommy’s first Hope over Fear rally last year. What’s SNP NEC member, Joan McAlpine’s, excuse for her overt and proud support at last week’s undertaking?

By Longshanker aka @ergasiophobe

“TOMMY IS not somebody I would choose to campaign side by side with” proclaimed Nicola Sturgeon in an investigative story into the thuggish background of Tommy Sheridan’s Hope over Fear security chief, this week.

Her statement sends a clear message to the party faithful. As far as the SNP are concerned, unrepentant convicted perjurers and confirmed misogynists are out of bounds to the party hierarchy.

But not, so it seems, to political hybristophiliacs and ex-First Ministerial aides like Joan McAlpine MSP.

Joan and the “Annan and Dumfries crowd” attended the Hope over Fear rally last week to provide overt support and encouragement to one time ‘project partner’ and “mad shagger” Tommy Sheridan.

According to SNP insiders, the Nicola Sturgeon-Peter Murrell axis/marriage holds too much power concentrated in one place in the party.

The marriage of the two is viewed as a problem due to Sturgeon’s urge to centralise and Murrell’s power and ability to assist her in doing so – the duo hold a major dominating influence on the finances, personnel and strategy of the party.

McAlpine’s election to the National Executive Committee in December last year was viewed by many as a necessary counter balance to the combined power of the heavyweight pair.

Tensions bubbling under the surface seem likely to erupt some time soon given the recent revelations that Sturgeon held secret talks with INEOS in January this year – McAlpine has already caused ructions in the party over its Energy minister’s stance on industrial fracking.

McAlpine’s appearance at the Hope over Fear rally is seen as a source of irritation for a First Minister keen to present the party as a progressive party delivering social justice.

According to one senior party member, McAlpine’s open show of support for Sheridan will not readily be forgiven:

“Joan’s attendance is privately seen as a needless gaffe by many women in the SNP.” she said.

“Joan has already been a high profile source of public embarrassment on a number of occasions to the party, despite her popularity in certain quarters.

“Her presence at the Hope over Fear rally will be viewed by Nicola as an act of open defiance. Just how this will play out within the party remains to be seen. But it will not be forgiven or forgotten.”

Commentators and pundits alike think the party will struggle to contain the factional infighting currently threatening to break through into the public domain.

Watch this space.

There’s no class or magnanimity aboot oor Joanie as witnessed by this exchange.

Moan McVulpine: Scots won’t naively follow the SNP like puppies forever

DESPITE THE SNP’s current surge of popularity in the great wee region of Scotland, there has been little change to the basic Tartan Tory political stance which saw them herald in the mighty Margaret Thatcher in 1979:

Murdoch whores to the left of me, Murdoch whores to the right. Here I am, stuck in the middle with you.

By Moan McVulpine – ex-Murdoch whore hears her master’s voice

THERE HASN’T been much talk of Tartan Tories this past year or so. Labour took over the mantra of shadow Tories, or Red Tories, when they stood on the same platform with the Blue Tories during the Neverendum campaign.

It’s crowded the Tartan Tory moniker out.

Maybe Red Tory Labour should have been more circumspect with their Better Together campaigning. Gordon Broon wis.

But hey ho. Ever since Tony Blair took over and snuggled up to Rupert Murdoch in 1995, it was plain that the New Labour project was going to be Old Tory with a tempering of social conscience: until Iraq came along, at least.

Tony even phoned the Italian PM in 1998 to help further old Rupee’s media interests.

You wouldn’t catch a Nationalist leader prepared to lobby on behalf of Murdoch’s media interests, would you?

Er, haud on! Wasn’t that exactly what Salmond was prepared to do? As embarrassingly revealed by the Leveson inquiry.

And the real Tory trick with that, was that Salmond had signalled his intent to be Murdoch’s whore in secret; just like Margaret Thatcher’s secret deal in 1981 to assist Rupee’s takeover of the Times.

For the triumphalist Nationalists in the SNP who think they’ve finally wrested the party free of the Tartan Tory moniker – forget it.

The lips say ‘social justice’, the walk says the opposite.

Just like Thatcher, Sturgeon also held a secret meeting with Murdoch. In plain language, she deceived the sovereign will of the people of Scotland.

What other dirty little secrets does she have to hide?

Maybe we should ask INEOS.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not the meeting with Murdoch that’s the bad thing. Pre-Levenson inquiry, Rupert Murdoch was one of the most powerful, influential and trusted businessmen in the world.

Even respectable Nationalists are quick to point out that Murdoch is one of Scotland’s biggest employers. And that’s fine. In business dealing terms, Murdoch was sound. In political terms, he’s a right wing reactionary warmongering nutjob.

It’s not politicians dealing with Murdoch that’s the issue. It’s the secrecy that rankles.

In the Scotland region we call clandestine meetings like that, ‘sleekit’.

And that word neatly sums up Thatcher, Blair, Salmond and Sturgeon – sleekit.

Sleekit to the core.

Murdoch’s scorched earth policy on journalistic principle – when the police were given free and open access to journalists contacts and sources – was a total betrayal of the fundamental principles and ethics of journalism.

It proved that Murdoch was no longer trustable in business terms.

He’s never been trustable in political terms – depending on your outlook of course – and that’s why politicians holding secret undeclared meetings with him must NEVER be trusted.

Labour’s new leader, Jeremy Corbyn, may be many things, but it would be fair to surmise that when it comes to toadying to Rupert Murdoch, he’s anything but sleekit.

And it’s telling that an ex-Murdoch moll like Joan McAlpine is joining in the monstering of Corbyn in her Daily Redcoat column. Joanie used to edit the Sunday Times Scotland.

It’s a well know fact that to be employed by the Times, the ‘cap had to fit’ in terms of Murdoch outlook. Joanie edited the Scottish section of the Times with aplomb.

So, for her to get up on the moral high horse about Corbyn meeting with Sinn Fein is, to one degree, fair enough.

But it ignores the fact that the SNP’s 79 group were also for meeting with Sinn Fein. The only thing that stopped the meeting going ahead was the fear of adverse publicity.

So, Murdoch’s Moll McAlpine, by monstering Corbyn, is still doing Murdoch’s dirty work for him by ignoring facts inconvenient to her narrative.

How ‘civic’. How ‘progressive’. How sleekit.

MURDOCH MOLL RELIEF

Sturgeon to Daily Mail: “I’ll purge party of duplicitous First Ministers”

• SAINT NICOLA of Sturgeon pledges to cleanse party of untrustable and duplicitous First Ministers.
• Vows to clean up politics from ‘sullied’clandestine meetings.
• Will come clean on fracking deal with INEOS once she’s back in office in May 2016.
• AhDinnaeKen reports:

“My personal use of Twitter is an important part of (my government’s) accessibility.” Sturgeon told the Scottish Daily Mail recently. Maybe the Wi-Fi was all used up in New York. when she met Rupee.

 

By Meeja Byaas – undeclared meetings with media tycoons correspondent

NICOLA STURGEON has dramatically intervened in the battle against secret First Ministerial meetings with Murdoch media moguls.

The Firstminster vowed to clean up Scottish politics by purging her party of political leaders who attend clandestine meetings with right wing News Corps proprietors.

Writing exclusively for the Scottish AhDinnaeKen, Saint Nicola said the time had come to ‘send a clear message that politics in Scotland will not be sullied by this type of inappropriate behaviour’.

She also called on frontline politicians who ‘secretly’ meet controversial media barons to stop “prostituting the office of First Minister”.

An AhDinnaeKen investigation found that two out of the last three Scottish First Ministers had ‘secret’ meetings with Rupert Murdoch and deliberately withheld the information in order to deceive the Scottish people.

We also uncovered hundreds of excuses centred around the mantra of ‘jobs’, ‘more jobs’ and ‘6500 jobs in Scotland’.

The findings come only a day after the Scottish Daily Mail revealed that the First Minister had misled the people of Scotland by not letting on she had met the proprietor of the “derogatory” and “sexist” Sun newspaper in New York.

Ms Sturgeon said: “I’m really sorry that the Scottish Daily Mail found out about this.

“Reporting things that I would rather they had kept hidden is typical of mainstream media bias against me, my party and the people of Scotland.

“I blame the BBC.

“When I became First Minister I said I wanted to lead one of the most accessible governments in the world.

“The Scottish Daily Mail have just blown that posturing rhetoric clean out of the water.

“Bastards!”

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3218638/SNP-leader-Nicola-Sturgeon-meeting-Rupert-Murdoch.html

Why Sturgeon is not to be trusted with the BBC

NOWHERE IS the communal deafness of Nationalist supporters more transparent than in their attitude toward the media and broadcasting. Nicola Sturgeon’s plans for the BBC are all about Nationalist control of the jewel in Britain’s crown. Just like the Tories and New Labour before her, she wants the BBC brought to heel and, instead, see paymasters like Rupert Murdoch in the ascendancy in Britain. AhDinnaeKen fulminates:

Sturgeon seemed duly appalled by the sexist nature of this Sun feature but it didn’t extend to challenging Murdoch’s media power – just like the Tories and New Labour before her. Funny that.

By Longshanker aka @ergasiophobe

“The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn’t said.” – Peter Drucker

NICOLA Sturgeon’s Alternative McTaggart Lecture speech last week had much to say about print media and broadcasting, particularly the BBC.

Mooted as more circumspect and less aggressive than Alex Salmond’s frothing diatribes against the corporation, it still held to the tediously familiar SNP drone that the Nationalist party – and by association the sovereign will of the people of Scotland – was let down by the institution’s news coverage during the Indyref.

Before Sturgeon revealed her plan for a devolved BBC (SBC) under Nationalist parliamentary control, she took time out to garner sympathy by playing the woman against the odds card.

She said: “And when I see sexist media portrayals of public figures, I don’t get upset on my own behalf – I’ve become personally quite inured to it. But I do feel angry about the potential impact on women and young girls who might be driven away from pursuing a career in politics or public life because of it – and, unfortunately, I speak to many who are.”

It’s a rehashing of the words used after her sexist photoshopped portrayal as a tartan clad Miley Cyrus on a wrecking ball in the English edition of the Sun.

Then, as now, there was no mention of Rupert Murdoch or his corporation’s broadcasting and print plans for Scotland – a curious omission which speaks volumes about Nationalist intent.

There is not one line in Sturgeon’s lecture on tackling Murdoch’s power. There is no reference to media ownership and not one SNP MP has made so much as a little white rosed squeak about taking Murdoch on.

Just like Margaret Thatcher, Tony Blair and David Cameron before her, Sturgeon is compliant, meek and mild in the face of Murdoch’s projected power and future media intentions.

This picture could just as easily have been Tony Blair. It tells the same story.

Sturgeon bears the same guilt, blame and shame as her predecessor for the SNP’s “tawdry” pursuit of political support from the Murdoch media machine.

The ex-Deputy Firstminster was Salmond’s shield of truth and integrity when the Leveson inquiry revealed the extent of Salmond’s clandestine meetings with Murdoch and his henchmen. When she locked horns with the BBC’s Gary Robertson on Good Morning Scotland in April 2012 she provided a stout, repetitive, mantra like, defence of Salmond’s “prostituting of the office of First Minister.” It was all about “jobs”.

Then, as now, whenever the Murdoch affair is broached the defensive mantra from the Nationalists is “Jobs”.

All fine and upstanding until you realise not one realistic, or hypothetical, Scottish job was ever promised, proposed or promoted by any of the Murdoch network in their single minded pursuit of monopoly control of the Sky UK Ltd network.

Yet Salmond and, by definition, the SNP were still willing to ‘prostitute’ the office of First Minister to lobby the UK government to further Murdoch’s monopolistic ambitions.

The half-witted, the credulous and the Indy apologists might accept the “jobs” explanation as justification for the “prostituting” of the First Minister’s office. Judicial scrutiny provided a smidgeon more scepticism and insight into Salmond’s motivations.

Indeed, the Nationalists jobs excuse was as credible as the legal advice Salmond told the BBC’s Andrew Neil he possessed on the European Union.

The Leveson inquiry revealed that Alex Salmond had held more than two dozen meetings with Rupert Murdoch, his son James and their senior henchmen – many of the meetings were undeclared and kept secret from parliamentary record, public scrutiny and the sovereign will of the Scottish people.

It demonstrated Salmond’s contempt for Holyrood as an institution and his willingness to ride roughshod over the democratic trust of the Scots. All for the sake of some positive publicity in one of Murdoch’s institutionally “sexist” newspapers.

If the Firstminster’s proposals for the BBC are to be taken with anything other than a large pinch of Scottish salt then she must make plain that the Nationalists intentions are honourable and trustable.

Nothing said or done so far by the First Minister suggests that they are. In the alternative Mactaggart lecture she said:

“To those who say this is about the SNP wanting to exert political control over the BBC, I say that is, quite frankly, arrant nonsense.

“This is not a question of whether a parliament has responsibility for the broadcasting framework – it’s a question of which parliament has that responsibility.

I think it would be basic common sense for the Scottish Parliament, which already has responsibility for culture and for press regulation, to also have responsibility for broadcasting.”

Yet, despite the considerations of the Scotgov commissioned McCluskey report and a full blown parliamentary debate on post-Leveson press regulation, the Scottish Government, which has control/responsibility of culture and press regulation, opted to do hee haw and instead defer to the will of Westminster.

It was plain and simple cowardice in the face of a potentially hostile pre-referendum Murdoch press – a shirking of “responsibility” so to speak.

Stronger for Scotland? – Cringing for Scotland more like.

BBC bashing is all the rage amongst certain types in Scotland today. It plays well with the Indy mob, passes the blame for the failed Indyref campaign, and has more in common with the Tories fiscal hobbling of the corporation. So no surprise there then. Pink champagne and haggis all round etc.

By demanding control of the BBC while remaining mute on Murdoch’s media ambitions Sturgeon sends a powerful message to those able to hear it – the Nationalists are not be trusted when it comes to media and broadcasting.

According to a BBC Trust survey, 52% of Scots feel the BBC does not reflect their every day lives. Therein lies a serious challenge for the BBC in terms of its Scottish output. It needs to change. No neutral, sceptic or BBC apologist would argue otherwise.

But not reflecting every day lives is not the same as being found lacking in trustworthiness.

Notably, a BBC Trust survey conducted for the Scotland Annual Review 2014/2015 also found that:

“Audience research suggested that BBC Scotland was the dominant broadcast source of referendum coverage in Scotland, and the most trusted.”

The BBC is the most trusted for the simple reason it is the most trustable. It’s principles and editorial guidelines make it more trustable than any politician – particularly hard core career politicians like Nicola Sturgeon – and it’s more trustable than virtually anything broadcast or published by News Corp.

Sturgeon’s Alternative Mactaggart Lecture speech spoke volumes about the Nationalists attitude to the BBC. Not in what it said, but in what it didn’t say.

Centralising Nationalists want the BBC reined in under their control while the likes of Murdoch is given carte blanche with the tacit assistance of the SNP.

AhDinnaeKen came into existence due to disbelief at the Scottish Sunday Sun’s first edition. The Day of Destiny exclusive – most likely provided by Salmond – had a fawning, backscratching, transparently contrived editorial penned by the Firstminster himself.

No one from the Sun or the SNP said that Salmond had anything to do with the declared date on the papers headline screamer. They didn’t need to.

Sturgeon’s Mactaggart Lecture on broadcasting said virtually nothing about Nationalist intentions for other broadcasters in Scotland.

As Peter Drucker said, “The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn’t said.”

Discerning Scots heard Nicola loud and clear: you cannot trust her intentions.

If only the Indyref deaf could hear it also. Then the question of who to trust in Scotland might not be so poignant.

SNP ditch principles for foxes sake

ANOTHER PAPER cut on the road to the death of a thousand cuts. SNP decision to vote on the England and Wales foxhunting ban proves an old adage about politicians and lips moving. AhDinnaeKen reports:

“The SNP have one overriding principle by which we all stand,” said GruppenFuhrer Robertson,  “We have no foxing principles!”

By Ewe Turn – Compromised principles correspondent

IN AN unprincipled show of principle, the SNP will vote against attempts to relax the ban on fox hunting in England and Wales.

Angus Robertson, the SNP’s Westminster Gruppenführer, said the party wanted to send a message to the Tories about how principled the SNP’s unprincipled stance on principle was.

“We want to show the Tories that our principles are every bit as unprincipled as theirs,” he said.

“Therefore, it is right and proper that we assert that Scottish SNP MPs have the same rights as the Tories to turn our backs on and ignore promises made before the election. That is our vow and it will be as trustable and principled as that other ‘vow’ we never stop whining and bleating about.”

Holyrood Gruppenführer, Nicola Sturgeon, also waded into the debate to defend her party’s indefensible stance:

“The English want us to be this unprincipled,” she asserted without evidence.

“The real reason we’re compromising our alleged principles is less to do with foxhunting and more to do with our lack of principle.

“David Cameron’s government has shown very little respect to the mandate that Scottish MPs have.

“We’re going to show even less respect to that mandate by sullying our ‘unsullied principle’ by voting for something we said we wouldn’t.

“That will send a clear and unprincipled message of principle to the Tories that, like them, you just can’t trust the SNP on anything we say you can trust us on.

“Trust me, this is one principle you can trust the SNP with – until, that is, we change our minds and decide you can’t.”

Sturgeon in the Guardian 8 Feb 2015.

 

Sturgeon is a traitorous turncoat for writing in Daily Mail – Wings Over Scotland

EXTREMIST website turns bilious rantings onto exalted SNP leader Nicola Sturgeon. Misogynist traits didn’t take long to come to the fore say critics of Wings’ editor Stuart Campbell. AhDinnaeKen reports:

This puts Sturgeon in the same mould as Curran claimed many of Campbell’s cohorts of cybernats. Campbell, meanwhile, blew off some steam in Sturgeon’s direction.

By Longshanker aka @ergasiophobe

AN EXTREMIST cybernat website editor has attacked SNP leader Nicola Sturgeon as ‘ridiculously naive’ for writing in the Scottish Daily Mail today.

Wings Over Scotland’s Stuart Campbell blasted Sturgeon for ‘validating’ every alleged “cybernat smear” run by the campaigning newspaper.

He accused Sturgeon – a leader with a 60% public approval rating – of doing more harm than good by recognising the Mail’s claims that cybernat’s are poisoning political debate in Scotland.

Sturgeon’s piece in today’s Scottish Daily Mail is a statement of intent that online abuse, of the type typified by Campell, will not be tolerated by the SNP leadership.

The SNP leader’s warning follows the Mail’s campaign to highlight the toxicity of online debate in the country.

According to Campbell’s swivel eyed conspiracy theory, Ms Sturgeon is assisting the Daily Mail at the expense of her party.

He said: “She’s got more to lose than gain”.

Critics of Campbell’s extremist website see this statement as a signal that the site may soon turn it’s misogynistic eye on Sturgeon in the same manner it recently attacked seasoned independence campaigner and education SPAD, Kate Higgins.

Campbell’s site has already described Sturgeon’s stance on Full Fiscal Autonomy as a “bit rubbish” and accused her of U-turning over the proposed privatisation of Scotland’s ferries – in the same manner as Labour.

“The SNP has now become so large and popular that Nationalist Front extremists like Campbell are struggling to remain relevant in the eyes of zealous supporters”, said a concerned independence supporter today.

“Attacking Nicola’s sensible and responsible rapport with the media is one way for Campbell to think he’s doing something worthwhile other than navel gazing in his bedroom on the proceeds of other people’s money.”

Campbell, 47, is a single, never married, siblingless, childless, wife beater apologist and assimilated Englishman who lives in the genteel city of Bath.

 

Sturgeon storms America: Funniest comedian on the market say Americans

STURGEON finds her true and natural calling on America’s cutting edge satirical programme:

After Sturgeon’s EU joke, Stewart is reported to have told Sturgeon she should give up the day job and get on the American comedy circuit.

By Razeda Smyle – Shameless publicity and comedy routine correspondent

FIRSTMINSTER SAINT Nicola of Sturgeon has appeared on one of American television’s top chat shows.

She instantly trumped Salmond’s profile as Scotland’s lead comedian.

Ms Sturgeon began by questioning her billing on the show’s website as a “politician”.

She told host Jon Stewart: “You billed me on your website as a politician – so you’ve raised all these expectations that I’m going to talk sense.”

The Firstminster added: “I’m a comedian, and as you know, I’ve been having a laugh at Scotland’s expense for the past eight years.”

Ms Sturgeon is on the second day of a four-day trip to America where she is undertaking a series of engagements on the comedy circuit.

Once again, she followed in the footsteps of the Labouring party’s leaders by making an appearance on the Daily Show where she invited America to laugh at Scotland.

Amid laughter from the audience Stewart assured Ms Sturgeon that there was no way he could trump her line “Stronger for Scotland” in the face of her party’s record on education and health.

Other topics touched on during the broadcast included the SNP’s success in suckering the Scottish electorate into believing her party would do better for the country.

American viewers were in stitches in their reaction to the Scottish Firstminster’s comedy routine.

US journalist Skylar Baker-Jordan, who covers Comedy politics, said: “Sturgeon is on top of her game as usual. Deceptive, evasive and contradictory. That line about being Better Together in Europe is a humdinger. Where did she come up with that one. Hilarious.”

The Firstminster’s engagements for Tuesday include taking selfies with kids in front of the media and on Wednesday she will take some selfies with kids in front of the media.

Bullies who tried to bully bullies get bullied

The Nats started it. Deny us our currency union and we’ll default on the debt they said. Get it up ye’s said the BritNat government – we’ll take on the debt oorsel’s. Now the Nats are to be told they’re no gettin’ their currency union. You’re bullying us, they bleated. AhDinnaeKen asks, what did the Nats expect, kid glove’s treatment? In the language of the playground, they started it – the bullies! AhDinnaeKen investigates:

If you try to bully someone bigger than you, expect to get bullied back. Don’t bleat about it when it happens though.

By Declar Asian-Ofwar

THE INDYREF has taken a turn for the bullying worse.

The Nationalist bullies tried to bully the Westminster bullies by threatening to default on their debt.

A bullies move.

The BritNat bullies pooh poohed the Nationalist bullies attempt at bullying by pulling away the debt carpet – they assured the bully markets that rUK was good for its debt and wouldnae be bullied by the Nationalist bullies.

The BritNat bullies are now going to bully the Nationalist bullies by bullying them over the currency union.

Ye’s urnae gettin’ a currency union they’ll bully.

The Nationalist bullies cried “bully!” and said the BritNat bullies were bullying them and it wisnae fair – it was bullying.

AhDinnaeKen said: “If ye try to bully somebody bigger than you, expect to get bullied back.

“Just don’t cry bully. It makes you look like a weak and stupid bully.”

So no change there then.

University education: Sturgeon defends racist policy

It’s not because they’re English that Sturgeon will be charging English students for univeristy tuition fees – it’s because they’re mostly English. AhDinnaeKen investigates:

“And the LORD spake unto Moses Salmond, Go unto Pharaoh, and say unto him, Thus saith the LORD, Charge they English basturts tuition fees, so that they may know my displeasure.”

By Anglo Phobe

NICOLA STURGEON has defended her plans to discriminate against English students wishing to study at post-independent Scottish universities.

She has strongly denied that it’s because they’re English and has assured critics that it’s only due to where they come from.

The Deputy Firstminster assured Europe that Scotland was an outward looking and welcoming country – unless you came from England.

Ms Sturgeon told MSPs the proposals to charge the English were put forward because it would be popular with Braveheart Commandos, Anglophobes still living in the early days of the 14th century and Joan McAlpine.

She added, if England renounces its Englishness then we might think about letting them in to our universities.

She said: “The problem with England is that its full of English.

“We must refuse them education on the basis of Englishness and previous historical scores which this proposal will go some way toward settling.”

Current EU rules prohibit states from discriminating on the grounds of nationality, meaning the Scots currently play at being British in order to discriminate against British-English nationals – which is allowed under the EU rules.

The 670 Commandments Of Salmond (White Paper) proposes retaining this policy so that Scotland can continue English discrimination post-independence.

Ms Sturgeon denied it was a form of institutionalised racist Nationalism.

She said: “This is not about where the students come from, it’s about where they come from.

“If they didn’t come from England then we would be most welcoming.

“But nae luck, yer English. Get ower it!”