SNP comment on Dunfermline by-election

Sour grapes, graceless losers, lacking dignity. That’s the Nationalists in defeat. Here’s how wee Ochaye Mackay dealt with the disappointment of the turncoat traitor Quisling by-election defeat in Dunfermline:

"Tell me again what you did with the saucepan" said Nicola to Bill in happier days.

“Tell me again what you did with the saucepan” said Nicola to Bill in happier, more innocent, days.

By Ochaye Mackay

COMMENTING ON the result of the Dunfermline by-election, the Scottish Nationalist Party’s Brownnose Convener Mr Ochaye Mackay said:

“The SNP fought a strong campaign to get another wife beater into the selection process, but Nicola was overruled and we selected a wummin instead – in the interests of political correctness.

“And look what happened. Gubbed! Did you see the Labourer’s wummin? She wiz the worst of aw the wimmin standing at this by-election. And she still won!?

“We cannae get ower that. For Mister Phucks sake. Who are these people who voted for her? Anti-Scottish to a man/wummin. Joan McArthyalpine and her night-time crew are going to be busy over the next few weeks.

“But the Labourers shouldnae get too big heided. Their swing wiznae a big enough swing to prove anything other than the rejection of their policies by the Dunfermline electorate. Er, haud on.

“And like my granny always used to say, it’s swings and roundabouts. Whit goes around comes around. You reap what you sow. Er.

“That’s why, when you look at the figures regarding who voted for the Nationalists, the victory belongs to us, despite the actual result.

“You see, compared to 2007 – when we won Nationally – the SNP vote in this by-election is 6.5 per cent higher.

“So really, we won on the night, despite actually losing. You don’t hear the Labourers saying that, do you? I wonder why? Er.

“In the last days of the campaign the Labourers did what Labourers do. They reclaimed the ground we normally fight on. They said what it takes to win. But really, despite winning, they lost.

Filed under. BastardFifers @ Dunfermline.gracelesslosers.com

COMEDY RELIEF

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