Tag Archives: Derek Mackay

SNP knew Mackay would crack and fail due to stress

FORTH ROAD Bridge engineers considered replacing the part of the Scottish transport department which failed dismally to perform this week. AhDinnaeKen reports:

 "Sometimes when people are under stress, they hate to think, and it's the time when they most need to think." - William J. Clinton. Unfortunately for the country's economy, Derek Mackay was not "Stronger for Scotland."

“Sometimes when people are under stress, they hate to think, and it’s the time when they most need to think.” – William J. Clinton. Unfortunately for the country’s economy, Derek Mackay did not think and was not “Stronger for Scotland.”

By Truss JointCivil engineering and ministerial expert

ENGINEERS WORKING on Transportminster Derek Mackay have revealed how they plan to fix his career which cracked on Good Morning Scotland on Wednesday forcing him to reveal the truth about the Forth Road Bridge closure.

It’s believed to involve a “face saving repair” around his radio performance which failed dismally to cover up the SNP government’s budgetary gamble with the country’s economy.

A media access platform is being built around the broken minister but, given his failed admission of truth to the BBC’s Gary Robertson on Wednesday, experts say his career is beyond repair.

Firstminster Nicola Sturgeon told MSPs that her “absolute intention” was to deflect all blame on to Mackay in case any of the finger pointing should fall in her direction.

Ms Sturgeon pointed out that the transportminster was “more than 38 years old, he’s been carrying more responsibility than he was designed for by way of ability and competence.”

She insisted: “This problem with Mackay was not predicted for the radio appearance in which he cracked, but we are trying desperately to remedy it, we are fixing it and we will get another fallguy in place before the new Forth crossing is due to open next year.”

Scottish Labour Opportunists deputy leader Alex Rowley said: “It was predicted as far back as 2010 that Derek Mackay would develop a fault.

“We need a full parliamentary inquiry into what has gone wrong with Mackay.

“For an SNP Minister to admit that he lied to parliament, while revealing it to the BBC on the radio, shows there has been too much strain put on his ministerial performance and now he has broken.

“There needs to be a full replacement of the transportminster section of the SNP government.”

 

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SNP comment on Dunfermline by-election

Sour grapes, graceless losers, lacking dignity. That’s the Nationalists in defeat. Here’s how wee Ochaye Mackay dealt with the disappointment of the turncoat traitor Quisling by-election defeat in Dunfermline:

"Tell me again what you did with the saucepan" said Nicola to Bill in happier days.

“Tell me again what you did with the saucepan” said Nicola to Bill in happier, more innocent, days.

By Ochaye Mackay

COMMENTING ON the result of the Dunfermline by-election, the Scottish Nationalist Party’s Brownnose Convener Mr Ochaye Mackay said:

“The SNP fought a strong campaign to get another wife beater into the selection process, but Nicola was overruled and we selected a wummin instead – in the interests of political correctness.

“And look what happened. Gubbed! Did you see the Labourer’s wummin? She wiz the worst of aw the wimmin standing at this by-election. And she still won!?

“We cannae get ower that. For Mister Phucks sake. Who are these people who voted for her? Anti-Scottish to a man/wummin. Joan McArthyalpine and her night-time crew are going to be busy over the next few weeks.

“But the Labourers shouldnae get too big heided. Their swing wiznae a big enough swing to prove anything other than the rejection of their policies by the Dunfermline electorate. Er, haud on.

“And like my granny always used to say, it’s swings and roundabouts. Whit goes around comes around. You reap what you sow. Er.

“That’s why, when you look at the figures regarding who voted for the Nationalists, the victory belongs to us, despite the actual result.

“You see, compared to 2007 – when we won Nationally – the SNP vote in this by-election is 6.5 per cent higher.

“So really, we won on the night, despite actually losing. You don’t hear the Labourers saying that, do you? I wonder why? Er.

“In the last days of the campaign the Labourers did what Labourers do. They reclaimed the ground we normally fight on. They said what it takes to win. But really, despite winning, they lost.

Filed under. BastardFifers @ Dunfermline.gracelesslosers.com

COMEDY RELIEF

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Filed under Election, Opinion