What reading a Wings Over Scotland rant does for the Nat mind

“Rather, the truth is that people stop buying papers because they’re full of garbage.” – proclaimed a fraudulent reverend without any sense of self awareness or irony. Recently!

By Emolly Ent – cognitive dissonance and electro-convulsive straw man correspondent

WITH WINGS Over Scotland recently exploding into fully blown demented denial mode over the Michelle Thomson property affair, the conversation surrounding the Nationalist mindset has once again affected absolutely no one but the Twitter echo chamber. Here is what happens to the mind of a Wings zealot when they read a hyperbolically charged Wings rant:

• Within milliseconds of the first reading, endorphins are released in the brain’s alternative reality receptive centres
• Relief stimulates the repressed moral superiority centre of the brain – outraged sanctimony runs quickly up  and down the dendrites
• The cerebral cortex composes and constructs an imaginary unfulfilled vow scenario
• Impaired blood flow to the limbic system releases a rush of unimpaired anger directed at Unionists/MSM/Non-Nationalist charlatans/whoever
• A full paragraph held in the heid for several seconds triggers an increase of dopamine and sense of euphoria in Nationalist MPs like Philippa Whitford and “oddball” Wings acolytes alike
• With each subsequent paragraph, the brain steadily orientates itself until self righteousness centres become stimulated, quadrupling one’s risk of saying something equally as idiotic as Wings
• Nothing really happens in the world outside of Twitter
• Intense sense of injustice begins to burn throughout the body, arresting logic centres keeping them in unquantifiable stasis
• Within moments of finishing the frothing rant, massive adrenaline rush results from refreshed sense of having regained the morally superior high ground.
• Mind is now able to fully focus on the straw man created for it courtesy of Wings – said straw man receives the battering it fully and justifiably deserves.
• Sorted. SNP is once again doubleplus good. In the Wingsnut mind at least.