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Swindley: Scaremongering pact must go ahead

Independence debate takes another turn for the worse. Now it isn’t just about uncertainty, Nationalist assertions and scaremongering. It’s all about Scaremongering. AhDinnaeKen reports:

"A disordered currency is one of the greatest political evils." - Daniel Webster.  Evil Tories. Evil Nationalists. They're aw evil scaremongers.

“A disordered currency is one of the greatest political evils.” – Daniel Webster. Evil Tories. Evil Nationalists. They’re aw evil scaremongers.

By Geezalenaya Fiver

THE CASE for an independent Skintland retaining its scaremongering assertions in a scaremongering pact wi’ the basturt scaremongerin’ English is “not assured”, according to treasury scaremongers.

Skintland becoming independent from the UK would “see profound changes in the scaremongering strategy of both states”, it said.

In a future scaremongering speech, Chief Bullingdon Towel Folder, Chancer Osborne will argue there would be an imbalance in the scaremongering relationship between both countries.

The Skintish government said a ‘scaremongering pact’ would be in everyone’s uncertain scaremongering interests.

Voters in Skintland will be given the choice of opting for more arrogant and oppressive imperialistic scaremongering from the basturt English, or wee jobby chip on shooder scaremongering from the sanctimoniously self righteous Nationalists, in September 2014.

Until then, scaremongering is forecast to be the growth industry of the increasingly scaremongering debate and, at present rates, is expected to outgrow renewable Nationalist assertions.

The scaremongering treasury team is expected to argue that even if an independent Skintland did keep its scaremongering quotient, it would lose influence over key scaremongering issues.

Scaremongers Ahoy!
Bullingdon Chancer Osborne said: “Myself and Bullingdon Dave have always said that Skintland can scaremonger alone. The question is, is it better for Skintland.

“All they will really be able to scaremonger about is the English treasury, via the Bank of England, setting interest rates too high in order to mess with the Skintish economy, y’know, just for laughs.”

But Nationalist Deputy Chief Scaremongering Finance Backstabber John Swindley said:

“The Bullingdon Chancer is coming from a profoundly arrogant English basturt point of view that scaremongering belongs only to them.

“Scaremongering is as much in the ownership of the Nationalists as it is in the ownership of the basturt English.

“Have we not pointed out repeatedly that not voting Yes will result in more dictatorial Tory rule forever.

“Whereas with Independence we will be able to be dictated to by Tory Chancers of the Exchequer.

“Now that’s what I call scaremongering!”

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Filed under Economy, Lies, Referendum

Do you agree that the Nats need a humour implant?

Scum takes rare chance to appear morally superior to Grauniad. Something you don’t see every day. Ho hum!
Salmo joke

By Nay Irony

A RANTING newspaper was branded faux-SANCTIMONIOUS yesterday – for taking the opportunity to attack its Leveson nemesis.

The Scum headline showed the newspaper at its hypocritical best by attacking the Grauniad for racism.

It said: “Fury at ‘racist’ independence jibe cartoon.” But Cybernat readers of the scummy paper were in no doubt that their thin skins couldnae take it captain. And legions of frothingly outraged online independinistas proved in spades what everyone else knows – Nationalist types don’t do humour, or irony.

Tricky Dicky Salmond wrote: “Does the Grauniad not realise the opportunity to whip up anti-English sentiment this provides. Thanks for the free gift ya English basturts!”

Last night Glasgow-based angry lawyer Blood An-war said what you’d expect.

The Scottish Scum columnist, and anti-English campaigner said: “What if Scotland and Salmond were replaced with England and Cameron – we’d aw be pishing oorsel’s laffin.

“Would the Grauniad have had the baws tae run it? Too right they wid.”

But a Grauniad spokestristram said: “It’s a ruse to see how many of you Jocko Gillies have a sense of humour. I’m sorry, but you failed dismally you miserable gits. Grow a pair.”

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Filed under Culture, CyberNats, Media