Tag Archives: Tories

Moan McVulpine: A No vote at the referendum will only prolong the agony for Scotland

MOAN believes that if Scotland rejects Independence then the Nationalists will milk their bitter tears for all their worthlessness and try, try, try again.

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By Moan McVulpinePutting the ‘scaremonger’ in scaremongering

THE PROSPECT of a Yes vote this September is increasing in the minds of the online Nationalist community as more join in with the communal delusion of believing the polls.

But, when the most likely scenario happens and a No vote is returned, the Nationalists can be relied upon to revert to type by playing the ‘cowardice’ and ‘traitor to their country’ cards.

Ultimately, everyone would lose as Scot turned on Scot regarding the recriminations and fallout.

There is absolutely no doubt that the Nationalists would start using such stirringly ‘civic’ insults as ‘craven’, ‘gutless’, ‘wimps’, ‘traitors’, ‘quisling’, ‘turncoats’ etc etc tedious etc, to describe No voters – or abstainers.

But what of Salmond?

He will be the Ally MacLeod of the Nationalist campaign – promising the earth while delivering nothing.

Ho hum. Who cares? Next! Will be the cry of the hardcore separatists.

Scotland on pause is a phrase that will eventually find the Nationalists oot, right enough.

Take Joan McAlpine (please, just take her) with her most recent Daily Redcoat column.

She indulges in a flight o’ nightmarish fantasy, guaranteed to send shivers doon the spine o’ Jock Tamson’s Bairns.

“IN THE RESULT OF A NO VOTE WE WILL BE CONDEMNED TO A THOUSAND YEARS OF TORY RULE!!”, she virtually screams hysterically.

“WE WILL BE UNDER THE ELITIST JACKBOOT OF AN ELATED TORY REICH BLOATED ON THEIR VICTORY OVER THE SCOTS”, she wails in a fit of fevered frenzy.

You don’t have to be too discerning to see through the transparent fearmongering of such rampant anti-Tory, aka English, bigotry.

It’s the infantilism of her Nationalist diseased mind that she plainly cannot see how ridiculous she sounds to any but the faithful.

What she seems to forget is that the current Tory regime could just as easily have been a Labour menagerie of champagne socialists and political careerists.

But, Nick Clegg, rightly or wrongly, summing up the mood of the press, chose to slip between the sheets with the better looking, vaguely charismatic, Tony Blair-lite, David Cameron.

In doing so he exposed the Lib-Dems for the power whores they truly are and condemned them to the humiliation of being less popular than UKIP.

Ha Ha and ho hum. Scotland showed in 2011 what the Lib-Dems can expect at the general election.

And so to Joanie and her last risibly hilarious last sentence regarding the “progressive English socialist” Billy Dragg.

If she thinks the Braggster represents anything other than tokenistic socialist posturing, then she probably believes that PanelBase polls give a sound account of what Scotland is thinking of voting.
Next!

COMEDY RELIEF

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Bullingdon posh boy set to punish workshy oiks

Towel folding Chancer’s recent announcement to penalise the long term jobless for their wilful idleness will have several beneficial economic offshoots, according to absolutely nobody. AhDinnaeKen investigates:

Hard working people need to be able to recognise "the enemy (virus) within." said Gideon Richborne yesterday.

“Hard working people need to be able to recognise the enemy (virus) within.” said Gideon Richborne yesterday.

By Hardquore Scrownjar

THE LONG term unemployed are to be punished in order to drive key economic indicators for the Benevolent Tories it has been claimed.

Chancer of the Exchequer, Gideon Richborne, is set to announce a range of punishments for the plebs of society later this afternoon at the Tory Tory Tory conference.

Richborne will promise an exponential increase in misery, poverty, humiliation, despair, suicide and crime.

The long term unemployed haven’t been stigmatised enough according to the Bullingdon Chancer and this populist measure is expected to increase his party’s election chances in 2015.

The £300 million “Help Us to Get Elected” package will see 200,000 assorted low-lifes, illiterates, drug addicts and reprobates given no other choice than to do what their Conservative betters tell them.

And the measure is expected to have the added benefit of keeping the lowly paid in line in order to boost their superiors bank balance.

According to Conservative Bankers for Business spokesperson, Hartless B’Stard, the move will have several societal benefits for the Tory Party.

He said: “Driving the benefits bill down means that we can also drive wages down in the full knowledge that nobody will give up their shitty and soul destroying low-paid job in case they fall into our hands. Result!”

It is also expected that people losing their benefit will engage in entrepreneurial activities such as hanging themselves, overdosing, mugging old grannies, casual theft, prostitution and aggravated burglary.

People placed on the new scheme will have to wear a yellow star on their shoulder so that decent hard working voters can instantly identify them.

“This something for nothing virus has spread through our society like a cancer” said a random pub bore.

“Gideon has the right idea. For every pleb he can get off benefits, that’s another free bottle of bolly for the next Tory party conference. Hurrah for our poshboy social superiors.”

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We’ve paid into SNP pension pots..now they need to go away

SCOTTISH Tory leader Ruth Rabidson dismisses almost everyone who lives in Scotland as not being able to build up a half-million pension pot in five years.

By Moan McVulpineThe Tories make it so easy. Ho ho ho.

HOW DOES it feel to be shafted? You might feel that the term is bang on the button – especially if you work a minimum wage job with long shifts.

But as far as Scottish Tory leader Ruth Rabidson is concerned, a shafted contributor to SNP ministerial pension pots is what you are.

Yesterday she made a speech that dismissed almost 99 per cent of Scots as “non-beneficiaries” who don’t “share in the cabinet’s trough.”

If you are a student or school pupil, a pensioner, disabled, sick or unemployed you are on the wrong side of the SNP cabinet’s bonanza sheet.

Doctors and nurses, teachers, school dinner ladies and home helps apparently contribute to the pots through their taxes.

In the warped world of the Scottish Tories, a low or even averagely waged worker in a private company will fit the non-beneficiary category – unless they do enough backstabbing and Salmond brown nosing to get themselves into the heart of the SNP government.

At least she doesn’t discriminate – she’s mentioned almost everyone who lives in Scotland, a country she oddly labels as containing “such a parcel of kleptocrats in a nation.”

We know hardly anyone benefits from cabinet minister pension pots, but rubbing it in our faces during these austere times is hardly a confidence builder.

The “cabinet as kleptocrats” line isn’t new. It’s a long standing practice of the Westminster parties to line their own pockets at everyone’s expense -whether that be joining Corporate boards in ‘non-executive’ roles, fiddling expenses, or taking direct payments in luncheon voucher donations or accepting ‘cash for questions’ in brown envelopes.

The Scottish government are merely doing what they’ve learned from their more experienced masters.

It’s only too true. Sadly.

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SNP should hang heads in shame for avoiding legal responsibility of proper government

SNP MSP Joan McVulpine’s reaction to dilemmas she doesn’t like was tediously predictable – she has previous for landing herself in the proverbial

Redesign coming fir Moan McVulpine – Dinnae worry

MOST POLITCAL nerds were glued to Newsnat last week when they should have been watching the Olympics.

So they missed not a jot of the BBC’s clandestine attempts at getting the SNP’s propaganda message oot tae the lumpen masses.

In the Bolshevik Broadcasting Corporation’s pro-seperation sights was Ian Gieyadoingson who Chairs the Tooweetoopoortoostupit Affairs Committee – a sinister Westminster organisation geared toward destroying the aspirations of ‘right thinking’ Scottish people.

Joan McVulpine, a flapping and undignified Parliamentary aide writes a column which virtually naebudy, no even SNP drones, takes seriously.

The ‘specially’ chosen for the list MSP blows more than a gasket every week and accuses anyone opposed to SNP policy as anti-Scottish or worse – Anti-Scottish!!!

McVulpine heads the Firstminster as his favourite parliamentary aide and thus gets away with behaviour which would result in the average drone SNP MSP getting the boot. Or at least a public ‘doing’.

Elsewhere, wilting wallflower, Dr Eilidh Yellowford MP plays the victim card in order to do her bit to undermine the substance of the Tooweetoopoortoostupit Affairs Committee which Gieyeadoingson presides over.

Gieyeadoingson’s boorishness provided the excuse by letting Yellowford smear him with importune use of language.

He asked Yellowford if she could attend an important meeting and she said she was ‘doing’ something else more important. In a rage the Labouring boor ranted: “I’ll gie ye DOING.”

Her accusation let her bow out of the Committee and gave the SNP carte blanche to sanctimoniously bleat to their ‘bravehearts’ back home that they had no democratic representation in a committee full of ‘English’ Tories.

Meanwhile, Mr Gieyeadoingson appeared on Newsnat to discuss the constitutional legality of any referendum called by a devolved government.

Just like the bloody Tories and Lib-Bents and Labourers he sided with the lawyers who say that without a Section 30 order the referendum will not make it past the bloody coortroom.

Anti-Scots the lot of them. Don’t they understand that the SNP has the sovereign Scottish people’s best interests at heart.

If that means that they have to operate ootside o’ the law then that’s whit they’ll mibbe no dae.

So, now that the SNP are faced with the rock and a hard place of ‘bow to the law or we’ll see you in coort’ the only thing they have left is to sling mud and concentrate on the behaviour of a pitiable auld boor like Gieyeadoingson.

Oh, and try to associate the Labouring Party with the Tories and reiterate the claim of Anti-Scottish forces at work by referring to  ‘haun in the till’ ex-Firstminster Henry McPish.

Auld Joanie bringing up the anti-Scots clarion call! There’s a thing when faced wi’ grown up politics!  Bless!

COMEDY RELIEF

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Filed under Law, Moan McVulpine, Opinion, Referendum