Tag Archives: temperance

Et Tu Bullingdon Dave!

Treacherous English politicians set to undermine moral support for SNP’s flagship alcohol policy. AhDinnaeKen will drink to that. Wee neddy bawbag correspondent Buckfast Commando toasts the Tories for seeing sense at last.

For every prohibition you create, you also create an underground. Jello Biafra

“For every prohibition you create, you also create an underground.” –  Jello Biafra

By Buckfast Commando

HAW HAW! Who’d uv thunk it.

The last crutch of righteous superiority and moral support is set to be kicked intae touch fae unner the feet o’ the SNP’s Jakey Apartheid Tax man.

Tory poshc**t Bullingdon Dave’s gonnae gie up the gemme oan the proposed minimum alcohol pricin’ bill doon sooth man.

Noo the SNP’s Jakey Apartheid Tax is gonnae be left hinging oan a shoogly peg like an SNP proclamation on Europe. Haw haw!

Piggy eyed patsy Alex Kneel is pure shitin’ hissel cos it means the plasticine parliament’s temperance/prohibition bill wull get sliced up in coort by the Dirageo young team.

They don’t take prisoners they c**ts. They’ve even hunted doon auld grannies in Africa wi’ illegal stills – earnin pennies – and shut them doon. Haw haw!

So the SNP freeloaders are gonnae get thur arses kicked oan this wan. An ah cannae wait fur the moral indignation and disappointment oan thur sorry faces.

Still. As ah pinted oot last time, Auld Nick Sturgeon and the piggy eyed patsy huv fun anither way tae get at Dirageo.

And ah don’t see the Dirageo young team gettin’ roon it as easy as thuv got roon the Jakey Apartheid Tax.

Whitever happens, it’s gonnae be a richt guid laff.

Onyhoo. Ah’m awa’ doon Navid’s shoap tae get mahsel sum refrigerated Buckie – buy two and ye can get a free Caramac.


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SNP get boos over Bulgarian booze

It wiznae jist Sun King Moses of Salmond gettin’ boos the ither day there. It wiz the hale bluddy anti-booze puritan government. Rock on tae the Bulgarian winos wi’ their boozegate pricing challenge.

Bulgarian Finance Minister and staff crush these grapes in the same manner they expect to crush those rebellious Scots Nats’ kiddy on progressive alcohol legislation – underfoot and easy.

By Buckfast Commando

Haw haw! Whit dae ye think man? Jist like ah’ve been predictin’ aw along, the Nats ur gonnae get thur baws pickled legally by the Unionists.

The European Unionists that is. Haw haw. Serves them right ‘n’ aw.

Ah telt them back in the day when teetotallin’ goody two shoes High Priestess Sturgeon pit her bloody Jakey Apartheid manifesto into action.

Ah says tae them, the SWA young team (Diageo) wull gie ye’s a doin for this Jakey discrimination man. Chape high volume voddie makes up a big pairt o’ their profits. Mess wi’ that and expect a slappin.

Of coorse, as is their want, the SNP are arrogant and stupit enough to think they huv things wrapped up wi’ their holier than thou public health argument.

Sorry fur laffin again, but Haw Haw. Ask the deid methadone men whit they think o’ the SNP’s commitment tae saving lifes.

Onyhoo. Accordin tae the Heraldic, a bottle o’ Bulgarian red, at present prices, wull set ye back aroon £3.31. The chapest it’ll sell fur unner the SNP puritan legislation wull be aroon £4.69.

Ah plunkt Economics at the Schill, but even ah ken aboot supply and demand curves – it wid result in thoosans o’ bottles no gettin selt.

Uncompetitive barrier to free trade – or Communism, as some wid caw it – is the accusation the Nats are facin.

And, as ah predictit, it’s aw gonnae end up in legislation delaying coort.

Wait tae Diageo get sterted. Ah wunner whit piggy eyed patsy Alex Kneel is gonnae dae tae get oota this. Whitever it is, it’ll huv to be sumthin smerter than he’s been so far.

Haw haw. Cyas later.

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