Tag Archives: sovereignty

MOAN MCVULPINE – Do you trust the Nationalists with the future of Scotland?

AS the pro-independence politicians get their collective sporrans and knickers in a twist about the most historic day in the history of history ever – MOAN asks us to remember the decades of cuts and inequalities that the SNP heralded in when they voted for Margaret Thatcher in 1979:

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By Moan McVulpine Rewriting history, one shibboleth at a time

THERE’S A bit of a cynic in all of us. Nae wonder. It’s hard to trust but even harder knowing WHO to trust.

Some folk give up and shrug: “One’s as bad as the other.”

It comes from seeing Whollyrude MSPs fail to turn up for parliamentary questions – six times – pretend to care about road safety and get done for speeding and barefaced lieing in terms of the debate.

That’s why we MUST trust in the SNP or face the consequences.

Today the SNP publish the most detailed prospectus ever produced in history ever by a country on the brink of international humiliation.

It answers hunners o’ questions aboot Skintland’s future – whether we will go from bad to terrible or from terrible to bad.

It makes America’s historic Declaration of Independence look, er, historic.

Of course, that will not stop the other side trashing it. So who should Skints trust?

There is the Skintish Government led by SuperSalm, Firewummin Sturgeon and Backstabber Swindley. If trust is earned by action, then the three of them should be in the jail. They tell the truth – in terms of the debate.

We should remember that as we consider this new Solemn League and Covenant or White Paper or Declaration of Imax or whatever they choose to call it.

The SNP promised to end tuition fees – and college students suffered for it.

They promised to stop picking up cancer drug fees – and Scots people now go to England for treatment.

They froze the council tax, just as they promised, and helped subsidise the middle class proportionately more than the poor.

They promised 1000 extra police and now we have a centralised politicised  police force,  unaccountable to all but central government. Scarey stuff.

They tackled youth unemployment by rebadging those already in work.

Figures released last week showed the Scottish Government put more money into blocking Freedom of Information requests than any other part of the UK.

It’s paid off – no one but the most idiotic, deluded, Braveheart Commandos trust us noo.

Remarkably, this was achieved in a shorter time than it’s taken most other political snake oil hucksters.

The SNP have promised an independent Skintland will have anything anyone wants it to have. That’s the beauty of Radical Independent visionary thought – it diznae actually huv tae deliver.

An increase of one per cent in Skintland’s windbag productivity could result in 21,000 more junkets for the Firstminster to take his entourage on.

The No campaign offer no such vision – nae wonder.

Do you trust Bullingdon Dave and Osborne, whose economic policies have done less than me for SuperSalm’s marriage?

The answer should be a a resounding No. Yet despite the horriblest Tories in government we can remember, Skintland is still rightfully wary of the Nationalists.

Do you trust Darling’s eyebrows? Naebudy does. But they still don’t trust the Nationalists.

Ten of Darling’s Scottish Labour MP colleagues recently failed to show up at Westminster to vote down the bedroom tax. It’s convenient for Nationalists to forget that there’s a system called ‘pairing’.

So, when it comes to judging people by their record, there’s no that much tae judge when it comes to the Nationalists.

They’re high on bluster, low on delivery. At best they’re just as bad as the Unionists.

At worst, well let’s just say I widnae like to be a prominent Unionist if Skintland does achieve ffrreeddoomm!

That’s why, like the Unionists, ye cannae trust a word they huv to say on Skintland’s future.

When it all falls aboot their heids, wait and see how they react. Then you’ll see the real face of Nationalism.


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At last! Scotland agrees on one question

It’s taken for ever. It’s bored everyone but the Uber nerds and Cybernats to tears. It’s taken its toll of the methadone community in record numbers. Finally the sovereign people of Scotland have decided on their single question. Zzzzz!

An agreement cannot be the result of an imposition said Sun King Alex of Salmond as he agreed to impose his will on the disagreeable sovereign people of Scotland.

By Aboot Timeyagits

THE SOVEREIGN people of Scotland urged the politicians last night to switch to a single question referendum.

The people of Scotland are said to be ready to grant whatever powers the Big Scottish Cooncil needs to hold a legally binding vote on the future of North Britain.

They have also insisted that should the outcome of the vote be Yes, that the requisite granted powers be acted upon immediately.

After five minutes in the pub, with a wee fly smoke before coming back in, the sovereign people of Scotland settled on the final question:

“Do you agree that Scotland should be independent of Alex Salmond?

Speaking after a visit to the lavvy in Scotstoun Pub Stitchthat Yakunt, sovereign Scot Kenneth McAlpine said: “The people of Scotland have had enough of being dictated to by rich ex-banker economists with their noses in the trough of egotism and self aggrandising satisfaction.

“For too long Alex has talked left and acted right – the Scots deserve a better quality of snake oil salesman.”

Spokesperson of non-denominational trans-gender for the SNP, Wee Naebudy, said: “There comes a time when deceit and defiance must be seen for what they are:

“Sun King Alex of Salmond’s vanity project.”


Filed under Election, Referendum