Fractious infighting amongst the warring tribes of Skintland halted recently with a rare display of unity. All agreed that Sun King Salmond of the Edinborrow Political Elite Tribe needs tae connect wi’ his alleged people. AhDinnaeKen dons plaid and shield:
By Sovereign Skints
SKINTLAND HAS BEEN held back by the present SNP Executive, the peoples of Skintland have claimed.
In national conversations held throughout the previously independent kingdoms of Dal Riata, Pictland, Caledonia, Alba, Gododdin and Strathclyde, the consensus of the warring tribes was that Sun King Salmond is “foo o’ it.”
And the conclusion reached was that the Skintish Executive o’ the big plasticine parliament should “get on wi’ it” instead o’ permanently bitching about the big bad Romans doon Londinium way.
Big Chief Heidbanger Leckie o’ the Skintish Sun tribe recently laid doon the gauntlet tae Sun King Salmond.
He proclaimed: “If he can promise to slash fuel duties in an independent Scotland raking profits from its own oil fields — and that means producing the figures to PROVE it can be done — it could be a masterstroke.
“Knocking 30p off a litre at the pumps, though?
“That’s a whole load of votes in the palm of your hand, Eck.”
The warring tribes of Skintland stopped battering each ither ower the heid long enough to agree with Chief Heidbanger Leckie.
Communicatio Tumultus Longshanker, of the Strathclyde tribes said: “If the great bloated Sun King wants my vote, 30p off of a litre would be the gamechanger required for me and my peoples.
“The baw is in the Sun King’s coort. Ah’m aboot bored shi*less listening tae the rest o’ the crap.”