Tag Archives: Monarchy

Indy traffic light system to be rolled out

Poll after poll of Skintish public opinion consistently shows that there is an urgent need for more clarity in the arguments provided by both sides of the debate – particularly the Nationalist side, as the onus is on them to do the real convincing. AhDinnaeKen takes a look at the new proposed traffic light system for the increasingly confusing ‘big turnoff’ currently being mooted as debate in Skintland.

The SNPs recent assertions on pensions, payments and shared administration was put to the traffic light test recently. This was the result.

The SNP assertions on pensions, payments and shared administration was put to the traffic light test recently. This was the result from a 100kg weighting.

By Troofis Ootthere

A NEW consistent system of political front-of-speech assertion labelling is to be introduced in Skintland, the Electoral Commission says.

A combination of colour coding and assertion information will be used to show how much barefaced lies, horseshit, fantasy and credibility are in each assertion spouted by pro-Independence politicians.

The announcement comes after 300 years of debate about the issue and has been welcomed by electoral groups.

Jock McAverage of the Bored Shitless with Indy Campaign said: “A quality campaign involves substance, not just the stereotypical Barnum statement pro-Scotland soundbites we have heard so far, but where is the all important detail?

“The first casualty of any political campaign is the truth, so we welcome this traffic light system to help the 16/17 year old weans trying to make sense of the increasingly laughable pish spouted by both sides – particularly the SNP.

“The system is easy to understand and should help everyone, particularly the weans, to come to a satisfactory conclusion about how amateur the whole debate has been so far.”

Jock McAverage, 301, is a snivelling cowardly pro-Union Tory quisling BritNat traitor turncoat who has been bought and sold for English basturt gold.

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Filed under Opinion, Referendum

Empty assertion tax on SNP ‘could benefit Scots’

Tax on substanceless assertions uttered by SNP politicians could improve quality of Neverendum debate.

“I’m a logician. No matter how wrong I am, I can always convince myself I am right.
” ― Jarod Kintz,  AhDinnaeKen would like to raise a glass to all those Nationalist logicians out there.

“I’m a logician. No matter how wrong I am, I can always convince myself I am right.
” ― Jarod Kintz, AhDinnaeKen would like to raise a glass to all those Nationalist logicians out there.

By Widye Beleevit

A TAX should be levied on each substancless assertion uttered by the SNP it has been agreed.

It is reckoned a tax of £1 on the production of each ’empty assertion’ stated by SNP politicians could boost Scottish coffers by at least £1bn.

The call came from Professor Jock Everyman, who served on the Scottish government’s Council of Evidenceless Assertions.

The Alex Salmond Association said the move would scupper demand for a Yes vote and cost the Neverendum.

Prof Everyman said the recent empty successes of substanceless assertions had brought “disappointing” benefits to the Yes campaign.

In a biased BBC Scotland investigation, Sir Swordov Truthsootthereson, previous chairman of the Council of Empty Assertion Advisers appointed by Firstminster Salmond, supported the idea.

The sovereign people of Scotland cannot directly tax the empty assertions, as that power lies in the hands of the empty assertion makers.

However the former chairman of Empty Assertion Researchers said Whollyrude could tax itself – it was already taxing on the Scottish mindset.

Powers over stopping SNP empty assertions are already in place, but the Scots won’t get the chance to exercise them until approx October 2014.

The Alex Salmond Association said it uttered 40 empty assertions per second in 2012.

When the statements left the lips of the utterers they were reckoned to be worth about “nothing”.

In addition to the niche market in Scotland, empty assertions had great success in attracting ridicule and scorn – in terms of the debate – from around the world, particularly Europe.

However Prof Everyman criticised the SNP for the concentration of empty assertions which often crept into the realm of “barefaced lies”.

Prof Everyman said: “I think the benefits to the Scots of the empty assertion industry are really quite disappointing.

“The largest producers will find there are rapidly diminishing returns.”

According to analysis by Biglie Economics consultancy, the SNPs empty assertion industry will soon grind to a halt.

Deluded fantasist and empty assertion producing spokesperson for the SNP Wee Naebudy said: “Oor assertions always have meaningful substance in them.

“As soon as we have oor oil fund in place we will ditch nuclear weapons into Barroso’s back garden while automatically picking the best EU policies at the top of the table in the Bank of England’s Scotto-Sterling zone.

“Then, and only then,  the sceptics and waverers will see the truth of oor assertions.”

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