Following the Inralavyson inquiry, now is the time for the Scottish Government to play its part in ensuring Scots press is left vulnerable to monopolistic Murdochism

By Moan McVulpine – dropping to her knees for Murdoch
SCOTTISH NEWSPAPERS have changed for the better since I stopped having much to do with them – thank Christ.
When I was a junior reporter in the 1980s, there were no anti-Scots or ‘enemies within’. But now, faced with an impending No vote, they’re everywhere you look.
One thing that hasn’t changed is the place of the ever ridiculous SNP trying to kid on they’re at the heart of oor culture. They are infamous for encouraging chipped shooder victimhood wherever they go.
Oor media landscape remains very different from doon sooth, with titles such as the Scottish Sun providing us with a richt braw pair of Scottish tits every day – y’know, Salmond and Russell. (Okay I lied about braw – try suing me post Leveson, haw haw.)
So, it’s understandable that the opposition parties here appear reluctant to open alleged ‘consensus’ discussions with known innumerate deceiver and corporate gopher Tricky Dicky Salmond.
Salmond, they say, reeks of post-coital Murdoch intercourse and they don’t want to be tainted by association.
Newspaper regulation is devolved to the Scottish parliament – just as it was during operation Motorman and the phone hacking scandal – yet nothing was done then because Citizen Salmond didn’t see political capital in it.
In fact, it might have risked the ire of his corporate master Goebbels Murdoch. That’s why not a jot was said.
He was too busy plotting to corrupt the British Culture Secretary with the backscratching clandestine lobbying politics of the unlawful sewer.
Citizen Salmond has suggested getting a retired Ministerial code judge to lead a hand picked panel of experts.
But first he wants to pay lip service to the laugable principle of ‘consensus’ – the same type of consensus which lead to the passing of the Minimum Pricing of Alcohol bill.
Y’know, unicamera SNP majority consensus.
Predictably, even the Tory Tories aren’t prepared to stoop this low – the Tartan Tories are, however.
Essentially, Citizen Salmond is so tainted by the stench of Murdoch’s reek, that he thinks this move will somehow help him reclaim the moral high ground.
For Cybernats and party drones it will be an unparallelled success, proving that the Scots are an ‘inclusive’ and ‘progressive’ people who “do things differently here”.
For everyone else it will be just another slightly more exposed and sad case of the Firstminster with a big dirty shovel digging yet another hole to bury his unbridled lust for power.
Saor Alba fae Tricky Dicky Salmond.
COMEDY RELIEF