Tag Archives: Kenny MacAskill

Audit Scotland is anti-Scots claim SNP

Will there be room in an Independent Scotland for any institution, business, academic or individual to legitimately question or attempt to scrutinise the Nationalist government? An alarming catalogue of evidence suggests the answer will be NAW! AhDinnaeKen reports:

"The only foes that threaten Scotland are the enemies at home, and these are accountability, scrutiny and Audit Scotland." - Kenny MacNaeskill

“The only foes that threaten Scotland are the enemies at home, and these are accountability, scrutiny and Audit Scotland.” – Kenny MacNaeskill

By Haudoana Minit

AUDIT SCOTLAND are talking Scotland down according to Injustice Minster Kenny MacNaeskill.

The so called independent body has been exposed by MacNaeskill as a barely concealed front for Better Together’s Project Feartie.

If they don’t pull their socks up and get on board with Scotland’s emancipation plans they may find themselves being “socially audited”, he warned.

MacNaeskill said: “It’s true there have been ‘creative tensions’ between my incompetent interference and the polis.

“We were deciding where the balance and calibration should lie in the power structures – whatever the f**k that means.

“The polis decided that I should keep my big chiselled calibrating face oot o’ their business for the sake of balance and Audit Scotland has agreed with that decision. Bastards!”

MacNaeskill conceded that sovereign anti-Scots may begin comparing his latest embarrassing SNAFU to a future post-Indy landscape.

And they may conclude that the SNP’s alleged ‘competence’ in government may have to be spelled with a silent ‘i-n’ in front of it.

According to Audit Scotland, the Injustice minster “hudnae a clue” what he was doing.

It appeared his business plan had been made up on the back of a fag packet in 2011 and had consequently been stolen by a big anti-Scots boy who then proceeded to run away.

As MacNaeskill later admitted to the British Brainwashing Corporation, this version of events couldn’t be corroborated: “Just as weel I’m getting rid of corroboration then.” he joked.

Cringing, snivelling, cowardly, anti-Scots, deranged, deluded, turncoat, traitor spokesperson for the Tory-lite Labouring party, Who Henry, said: “I am not surprised to learn that no full business case was prepared to support government centralisation of the police.

“This isn’t about saving money, it’s about ensuring the politicised police will be able to deal with the anti-Scots enemies within in the event of a Yes vote.

“They’ll be rid of pesky corroboration by that time and, if I was working for Audit Scotland just now, I’d be scared, very scared. Big Kenny MacNaeskill will be coming to get you.”

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Filed under Law, Treachery

Whollyrude bang gang found guilty of grooming and exploiting frightened electorate

Cabal of untrustable back stabbing powermongers finally brought to book by forces of social injustice:

GUILTY: All seven defendants were found guilty of lying, cheating, and trying to frighten Skintish electorate into voting for 100 years of the Tories. They also hatched plans to 'turn on the polls and the parkas'.

GUILTY: All seven defendants were found guilty of lying, cheating, and trying to frighten the Skintish electorate into voting for 100 years of the Tories. They also hatched a sinister plan to ‘turn on the polls and the parkas’.

By Itza Faircop

POLICE, SOCIAL workers, the Labouring Party and Bitter Together apologised yesterday for not protecting the vulnerable Scots electorate who were patronised and psychologically abused by an Ultra-Nationalist political ring.

The admissions of failure come after voters as young as 15 were lied to and exploited when they were supposed to be in the official care of an allegedly competent government.

A gang of Ultra-Nationalists were found guilty of a catalogue of offences including condescension, serial lying and organisation of suicide inducing Neverendums over a period of three hundred years involving vulnerable voters in the Skintland area.

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Filed under Morality, Referendum

The Modern Pamphleteers – Who said that? #2

The second of AhDinnaeKen’s semi-regular shameful Sunday slots dedicated to the radical and modern pamphleteers of our age. Ever wondered why certain CyberNationalists can be so offensive? Wonder no more. This series exposes the people they got it from. 

Award yourself a Tartan star each time you know the answer.

Who Said That #2

A: Former Street tramping, terrorist appeasing and powermongering Injustice Minster, Kenny MacAskill, delivered the speech to SNP conference in 1998 in which he referred to the England football team as the “Great Satan”.

His speech – Great Satan an’ all – gained him the overwhelming support of over two thirds of delegate votes and a standing ovation from ‘ultimate control freak’  Tricky Dicky Salmond himself.

AhDinnaeKen reckons the Great Satan is a phrase we*’ve heard somewhere before. It’s normally associated with flag burners, sectarian extremists and the like, but hey, the Yes campaign has got them in its ranks as well.

Perhaps we* should conduct a ‘Social Audit’ to root them out.

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Filed under Culture, CyberNats, Opinion, Poster

MacAskill to tax accused in order to help out beleaguered bankers

Former Street tramper, terrorist appeaser and powermongering Injustice Minster, Kenny MacNaeskill, proceeds with yet more ‘progressive’ and ‘inclusive’ injustice for the worst off in Scotland. Hailed by absolutely no one but the SNP and RBS bankers as a big Hurrah for progressiveness, inclusiveness and social justice.

Poor Stephen Hester (right), the RBS chief has only accumulated little more than a paltry £11 million since joining RBS in 2008. Thank goodness the SNP are so benevolent toward bankers at the expense of the poor. Hurrah for Social Justice in the new Nationalist Socialist political landscape.

Poor Stephen Hester (right), the RBS chief has only accumulated little more than a paltry £11 million since joining RBS in 2008. Thank goodness the SNP are so benevolent toward bankers at the expense of the poor. Hurrah for Social Justice in the new Nationalist Socialist political landscape.

By Itsanin Justiss

ROYAL BANK of Scotland chiefs’ bonuses are set to benefit from a benevolent smash and grab on the legal aid budget in Skintland.

In an act of SNP solidarity and compassion for under performing RBS bankers, Skintland’s Injustice minster Kenny MacNaeskill will hit the pockets of the working poor to provide much needed funds.

According to MacNaeskill the Legal Aid Injustice bill will enable the Scottish Government to contribute more to RBS bonus fund coffers.

It will also let the Injustice Minster hit the troublemaking working poor where it hurts, their pockets.

The ‘bogus charge’ clause in the bill means that those falsely accused will face a simple choice, plead guilty or be fleeced of your cash by the Scottish Government.

Hailed as a radical and progressive lever of ‘social audit and control’ the clause means that the poor can be further impoverished in order to assist struggling bankers.

MacNaeskill told the Big Parish Cooncil at Whollyrude: “The bogus charge clause reflects concern expressed by members of the Law Society that the original threshold of ‘justice for all’ might compromise government access to the accused’s disposable income of £82.

“This clause is expected to speed up guilty pleadings and associated administrative processes enabling us to concentrate on fleecing those less well off and naive enough to expect justice in our new inclusive and progressive Scotland.

“The bankers have run out of places to rob more money from and this clause enables us to provide some assistance.

“I know and like poor Fred the Shred and Stephen Hester you know. They’re down to their last £11 million apparently.”

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Filed under Culture, Law, Morality

Random drink-vote tests to be imposed on independent Scotland

Injustice secretary Kenny MacNaeskill set to impose random presbyterian intolerant centralism in the event of successful isolation vote.

Don't drink and vote folks. You're apt to do something silly such as not vote for the presbyterian intolerant Scottish National Party. The very thought.

Don’t drink and vote folks. You’re apt to do something silly such as not vote for the presbyterian intolerant Scottish National Party. The very thought.

By Taika Drink

RANDOM DRINK-vote tests could be imposed on the Scottish public after receiving cross Cooncillor support at Whollyrude yesterday.

The move was signalled by power hungry street marcher MacNaeskill to ensure ‘anti-Scot voting’ would not go unpunished post an isolation vote.

Injustice Gauleiter MacNaeskill regretted the anti-Scotland Act – which gave Whollyrude power to vary the limit – had not allowed him the chance to introduce measures such as random oppression of voters.

Labouring Injustice spokesperson Whois MacDonald said he was “in principle, opposed to any power for SNP power mad centralists”, saying there is strong evidence the SNP government is randomly to completely ineffective – especially when it comes to telling lies.

MacDonald also rejected the proposal to increase legislation as a move ‘for the sake of being seen to be doing something’.

Proposing the change, MacNaeskill said: “The people of Scotland are getting fed up of the SNP telling them they are a nation of drunken wasters.

“It is both remarkable and tragic that a significant majority of Cabinet minsters don’t get that.

“We believe that Scots shouldn’t be allowed to go about their daily business without being interfered with by centrally imposed SNP institutions such as the newly politicised police.

“We believe that randomly pissing people off is a beacon of inclusive progressiveness for oor great wee country.”


Filed under Culture, Law, New Bills

SNP Cabinet – putting the Klepto into Kleptocrats

Times are tough and money is scarce, but not for the new SNP Kleptocracy who’ve trousered close on half a million sovereign pounds sterling each for their royally sized pension pots.

"Avarice, the sphincter of the heart." - Matthew Green. No wonder these cabinet sphincters look so happy at half a million a pop.

“Avarice, the sphincter of the heart.” – Matthew Green. No wonder these cabinet sphincters look so happy at half a million a pop.

By Robin Bastads

MOSES SALMOND has whinged to Yank businessmen that Scottish politicians are having to trouser tax payer cash with one hand tied behind their backs.

On a visit to the American Windbag City, planned to coincide with a celebrity sportsman photo opportunity, the Firstminster complained his country had less ‘readies’ available for his pension pot than Illinois.

But he claimed that an independent Scotland would provide greater opportunities for his cabinet to loot and plunder if it broke away from the contaminated Union.

Mr Salmond also said the people best placed to rip off the country were those able to get into the cabinet and pretend to work there.

He added: “They will always be the people with unfettered opportunity to profit on the back of the people who live and work there.

“Smaller independent nations are now suffering from their natural economic weakness – windbag nationalists, profiteering politicians, avaricious civil servants and the ability to clearly define their six figure payoffs and pension pots.

“Scotland’s current constitutional status – as part of a subjugating oppressive Union where one nation is always likely to whine on the basis of its mindset – seems more and more like hard luck.

“Scotland is still ranked number one in the world in terms of those willing to sacrifice their lives to escape Neverendum boredom.”

Mr Moses, who was boring the Windbag City Council on Parish Cooncil Affairs, will be enjoying a knees up at taxpayers expense until the end of golf’s Ridethem Cup.

He added: “Of course we will continue to ingratiate and abase ourselves to the Americans, without whose patronage, my vanity project will have nae chance of happening.

“But, as for those anti-progressive countries; France, Spain, Italy, Portugal,Bulgaria, Holland, Germany, Denmark, Poland, Romania, Ireland and Austria – who oppose our progressive Jakey Apartheid supermarket windfall tax, they will rue the day they messed wi’ my ego.”

The Ego has landed

According to the Hootsmon; “accounts disclosed that the most senior SNP politicians have built up pensions worth £493,000 since they came to power five years ago.

“Those pension arrangements do not include those for Alex Salmond, who receives a special pension worth half his salary when he steps down.”

AhDinnaeKen wishes that cabinet minster universal benefits were truly universal and open to all in the sovereign EU region of Skintland.

Here’s hoping.


Filed under Culture, Morality, Newspeak

Holyrude harms the Scots – Arch errorist Osama Bin Kenny MacNaeskill fingered

The fundamental function of the law is to provide protection for the people. AhDinnaeKen exposes the growing realisation that Secretary for Injustice and arch errorist MacNaeskill is not fundamental – just mental.

“Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.” – Martin Luther King, Jr. Except for viewers in Scotland who have learned we do things differently in this country.

By Itsanin Justice

LEADING SCOTTISH lawyer solicitor-parasite Alistair Bonnytoun has accused the Scots parliament of doing more damage to Osama Bin Kenny MacNaeskill’s reputation than changes in the law ever could.

He claims that Cabinet Secretary for Injustice Kenny MacNaeskill has overseen some of the worst kneejerk changes to Scottish law since Uncle Joe Salmond introduced the Misappropriation of Nationalist Ideology Law.

According to Mr Bonnytoun the long held belief that Scots are entitled to a fair trial has been effectively and rightfully banished.

He further cited the ending of double jeopardy, or as it’s known at Holyrude the ‘Gie’s Anither Chance Tae We Get It Right’ law, as personifying MacNaeskills errorist ways.

Stacked Deck Principle

Mr Bonnytoun also referred to the proposed new Stacked Deck law which effectively ends the need for corroboration in trials and piles on the pressure for defendants by having their previous convictions read out in open court to Presbyterian Nationalist partisan juries.

Defending his shredded reputation, Mr MacNaeskill said: “As the only party which can truly claim to represents Scots interests, I believe that it is in the party’s and therefore the country’s interest to prosecute and put away as many wee ned bawbags as possible.

“The polis know who they are and so do we. So why should the law protect them when we know they did it anyway? Besides, it means that we can report that crime is down and not have to hide behind Freedom of Information request denials.”

As claimed by Mr Bonnytoun, most of the kneejerk changes to the law are tabloid led.

He said: “Just like Goebbels Murdoch’s Sunday Sun calling the date of the Neverendum, we now have the tabloids leading the agenda.

“Scots desperate for full independence should not forget that a pre-Act of Union, independent Scots parliament in 1606 passed an Act which allowed Lairds to effectively enslave tenant workers and vagrants to their mines and salt pan workings. It took the post 1707 Unionist parliament to end this barbaric anti-Frrrreeeeeeedddddoooooom™ act.

“It is a logical fallacy that the best people to rule Scotland are the Scots when in fact the best people to run any parliament should be the best people fit to rule.”

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Filed under Law, New Bills