Tag Archives: Ian Davidson

Salmylocks and the three Unionist Bugbears

A constitutional fairy tale inspired by Newsnat smear victim and Labouring folk hero Ian Davidson.

Who’s afraid of the Big Bad Section 30? asked smear victim and Labouring folk hero Ian Davidson.

By Daddy Unionist Bugbear

ONCE UPON a time there was a little girl named Salmylocks.

She went for a walk in the sovereign land of Scotland.

Pretty soon she came across a Unionist constitutional hoose.

She knocked and, when no one answered, she walked right in.

At the ballot box in the taxpayer subsidised kitchen there were three bowls of power porridge.

Salmylocks was hungry for power porridge.

She tasted the porridge from the first bowl labelled ‘Full on Independence’.

“This porridge is too hot!” she cried!

So she tasted the porridge from the second bowl labelled ‘Status Quo’

“This porridge is too cold!” she wept.

So, she tasted the last bowl of porridge labelled ‘Devo-Max’.

“Ahhh this porridge is just right!” she said happily and ate it all up. She then began briefing on its importance to the sovereign will of the Scottish people.

After she’d eaten the three Unionist Bugbears’ breakfasts she decided she was feeling a little tired.

While trying to find a suitable bed in the Unionist hoose she ended in breaking everything up.

To cut a Laboured short fairy tale even shorter, the Unionist Bugbears came back to discover that Salmylocks had illegally entered their hoose and destroyed their constitutional seats.

She had also messed up their constitutional beds with an unconstitutional populist agenda of humbug and hypocrisy.

Outraged at such populist liberty taking Daddy Unionist Bugbear bellowed: “The Scottish peoples’ sovereignty is not the same thing as the Scottish Parliament’s sovereignty ya populist porridge stealin’ chancer.

“You urnae gettin the wean’s power porridge – it’s not yours to eat.”

Just then, Salmylocks woke up to the reality of what she had done. She saw the three Unionist Bugbears and screamed to the people for help.

She jumped up and ran out of the constitutional bedroom, down through the kitchen, opened the populist door, and ran away into the Scottish mist.

She was last seen in the highest Courtrooms of Unionistland trying to convince a judge that the Unionist Bugbears were anti-Scottish enemies of the people.

And they all lived unhappily never endum.

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Cybernats get sporrans in a twist over biased BBC

Scot-Nat Bolshevik Corporation held to account for its partisan support of Scottish parliamentary carte blanche Neverendum powers

Fortunately for serious minds, a bias recognized is a bias sterilized. So can we not just seriously sterilise the Nats and Unionists who keep preaching that the BBC are biased against them?.

By Getina Doinson

THE BBC’s flagship current affairs programme Newsnat Dal Riata Alba Caledonia was sensationally revealed as a bastion of Scottish Nationalist sentiment last night.

Labouring MP Ian Yer Rantingson, who leads the Tooweetoopoortoostupit Affairs Committee, exposed Newsnat Host Isobellacaledonia Frasier as a Nationalist stoolpigeon intent on giving the SNP government the power to destroy the United Kingdom and civilisation as we know it.

Mr Rantingson had had enough of the continuous stream of Nationalist propaganda emanating from the Bolshevik Broadcasting Corporation.

He put the ‘record straight’ with Ms Frasier in typically robust fashion: “You are predicating your questions on preconceptions leading to Nationalist deceptions resulting in referendum perceptions which are biased and misleading misconceptions.” he said.

Further adding: “There is a general politico-legal view that Newsnat Dal Riata Alba Caledonia is biased against ranting old bigoted misogynists who want to twist the self-righteous arms of the warriors of Proto-Nationalistic progressiveness.”

But Ms Frasier was quick to point out that Mr Rantingson’s obssesson with Section 30 orders in the Scotland Act should be the least of his worries.

She argued that while Westminster may indeed have “moral authority” to ensure the Neverendum does not end up court bound, the public at large had “public safety authority” to invoke Section 2 of the Mental Health Act on Mr Rantingson.

Ms Frasier said: “You are an obvious danger to women and right thinking Cybernats. There should be no conditions attached to your sectioning.”

Leader of the Scottish Labouring Party Fandabadozie Lament said that on behalf of Scotland she wished to apologise for ‘nuthin or naebudy’.

One ‘Ultimate Cybernat’ narcissist was so excited he actually stayed up till 3am transcribing the Newsnat Rantingson interview for his following of ‘Not-Ultimate Cybernats’.

And, he didn’t even tell his mum!

Unable to contain his limited emotions he said: “We feel like a kid on Christmas Eve.” (Bet his Christmases were a barrel of laughs – Ed.)

AhDinnaeKen could have saved him and his chums some time: BBC is totally biased claims Murdoch

Mr Rantingson is currently helping the nice men in white coats with their enquiries.

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