Tag Archives: Gordon Brown

I welcome ‘liar’ Salmond taking a back seat in the Neverendum debate.

MOAN says that the serial barefaced liar’s low key profile only helps highlight the lack of any truth emerging from either side of the Neverendum debate.

Moan McVulpine - delivering collateral damage every time she speaks

By Moan McVulpineYour favourite Aunty Scots anti-Scots polemicist

FIRSTMINSTER SALMOND has a track record of lying. You could say he’s the master of erectoral – and sincere – misfortune.

Famously, he gave his full backing to Fred the Shred – Yours for Skintland!

He watched the banking system crash into greed driven meltdown and was so pleased he couldn’t wait to build grievance upon chipped shooder grievance on top of the calamity.

A minute after, he spent half a million of tax payers money, a Skintish parka showed 99 per cent of Scots thought he was Ryding our backs.

Then came the humiliation of accurate-answer-gate.

So I welcome his choice to take a bit of a back seat in the neverendum debate.

He said that whenever he gets caught oot for fiddlin’ answers, in terms of the debate, his self appointed ‘independent’ Ministerial Code judges will bail him oot.

That’s completely logical for a ‘barefaced liar’.

Deputy Miss Leader Sturgeon is unlikely to win a key role in Borgen any time soon.

But there is a more general difficulty. Skintland is being fed EU subsidies at the expense of the Midlands and Yorkshire.

The EU subsidy imbalance means non-Tory areas of England are suffering in order for the Tory Tories and Lib-Dem Tories to ramp up resentment of the Skints.

As far as these areas are concerned the Skints end up looking like subsidy junkies.

Salmond’s disappearance also helps us forget about the college budget cuts and the ‘pick pocketing’ rip-off by Mike Bernhard Rust-ell of some of the hardest up college students grants.

But hey, they’re not middle-class University students, so who cares – right?

The greatest dilemma for us Skints of course is the great leap of faith that independence will allegedly deliver us from the twin evils of the Tory Tories and austerity cuts.

And that is what it comes down to – the great leap of faith.

In order to vote Yes, or No, you need faith in the respective political leaders.

Salmond’s performance on EU legal advice, lobbying for Murdoch, junkets for the boys, hacked bank accounts, rewriting of history in official government records and Freedom of Information refusals, proves that he is just as trustable as any of the rest of them – English, Welsh, Irish or Skint.

He even cheats his surrogate mum/wife at Scrabble.

Vote Yes based on anything the pantsonfire herder of supine SNP cats has to say?

Ye’r huvin’ a laff.

COMEDY RELIEF

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Filed under Moan McVulpine, Opinion

God-Hen Broon warns of dire consequences for Dandy-Max and Beano

Jings crivens help ma’ boab, auld Bufty Broon’s wades in wi’ a prediction o’ doom and gloom for the independence camp. Nae wunner Wee Eck’s got a smile on his face bigger than the banking deficit.

Advice is always the swan song of the passing generation, the quavering high treble of our experiences which we insist upon dedicating to those who come after us. Thanks for nothing God-Hen.

By A’Body’s Wullie

GOD-HEN BROON has launched a scathing attack on the Beano camp, claiming that staying in circulation would lead to higher cover prices and cuts to frontline cartoon characters in the Dandy.

  • God-Hen Broon warns of higher cover prices and deeper numbers of page cuts for DC Thommoson comics
  • Former PM argues that pooling of resources benefits Desperate Danny-Alexander more than Lord Snooty Chancellor
  • Broon also argues that Bash Street Minister Mike Rust-ell will be particularly bad for education and the ‘kids’ in Scotland
  • SNP – “the more Labouring ex-chancellors continue to offer doom and gloom armageddon negativity, the more they will encourage Joan McCarthyalpine to expose the anti-Scots within the nation.”

The former Iraq War Chancellor said the proposals known as Dandy-Max, would “break up the reader union” between the Beano the Dandy the Broons and the rest of the DC Thommoson empire.

It would mean that Wee Eck would be unable to ask Desperate Danny or Lord Snooty for cow pies or catapults leading to the comic being starved of pages, gags and humour.

In his first major intervention for the Yes campaign, the former Labour Bannana Man said there would be a “race to the bottom” of the internet wilderness, with different rates for subscribers and advertisers alike and a higher cover price.

Delivering the annual Donald Dewaraglit lecture at the Edinborrow International Book Festival, Mr Broon warned that the Dandy was in danger of being ‘colonised’ by the Beano and could only expect to suffer decline.

Wee Eck was unavailable for comment as he wis oot ‘playing’ wi’ Soapy Souter and their Wulllie.

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Filed under Economy, Referendum

Blair’s Law gives parties ‘right to check’ on acts of loyalty

By Stikthi Nifein

PARTIES in some parts of Bloodyrude will soon be able to find out from the Stasi if their members have a history of loyalty.

The Staatspolizei has announced life-long Nuremburg trials giving the Stasi the ‘right to ascertain’ loyalty in Parliament, Media and domestic life.

The scheme is dubbed Blair’s Law, after a Prime Minister who surrounded himself with yes men and flunkies was dealt a fatal blow from a former chancellor.

Political loyalty campaign group Redact has attacked the plan, saying it will do little to protect individual parties.

Anthony Blair, from Westminster, London, was backstabbed in 2007 by a former partner with a political background.

The 54 year-old Prime Minister had made several complaints to the Cabinet about Gordon Brown, whom he had met in Parliament before he was dealt the killer blow.

Dissension Prevention

The National Executive Committee criticised the Stasi for failings in the case.

Since his resignation, Mr Blair’s mentor, Alastair Vandal has campaigned for political parties to have greater rights to know about the past loyalty of their members.

Former Scottish Labourer leaders have given their full-hearted backing to the plan.

Iain Giggity Gray, who had previously misunderstood the intent of the bill said: “Christ! Me ‘n’ Wee Jack and Rentboy McLeish near s**t ourselves on the first reading of this bill. We thought it was a ‘competency’ check. Nane ae us wid huv passed that yin. We thoucht we wur oot the door on oor arses.”

But others from varying parties have already been snared by the new scheme.

Eric Sticktheheidin Joycey complained that he has already suffered enough disgrace.

He said: “I don’t know what this is all about. I have always been faithful to myself and have displayed exemplary loyalty to my expense claims which are amongst the highest in the country.”

On the other side of the fence, The Scottish Natsie Party reacted quickly when news broke on Billy Hillwalker’s lapses of loyalty to both the party and matrimonial decency.

SNP spokesperson, Wee Naebudy, said: “Whoever fed that story to the Weegie Herald has shown the worst type of treachery possible. Make no mistake we will use every brown shirt in our power to hunt them down. Whistleblowing to the Unionist reactionary press is anti-Scottish – we have our own laws to deal with that.”

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Filed under Culture, Diplomacy, Morality