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Moan McVulpine: There are risks that go along with treating voters as if they’re idiots

MOAN’S baser urges have got her and those surrounding her into a lot of trouble. Something which is always worth thinking about when reading her Daily Redcoat propaganda.
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By Moan McVulpineputting the un into uncertainty

EVERY MAJOR life decision carries an element of uncertainty.

But not as much risk as taking the leap of faith required to believe a Nationalist on the make.

Having your kids read the newspapers is a risk. Especially when you’re the front page splash on the Daily Mail on a good few occasions.

Not just risky, embarrassing as hell – for everyone involved.

Fortunately, for the survival of the Yes campaign, most Yessers are just too focused on the nasty evil imperial tories and their rightwing media cohorts to see through the malignancy and falsehood lieing at the very heart of the Nationalist vanity project.

So, over-proscribed finger pointing proselytising aside, it’s on to normal domestic life risks and the equating of those risks to voting for ffrreeddoomm™ in September.

Normal ‘everyday’ life carries varying types of risk: growing up, accepting a job offer, getting married, having kids, getting divorced, jumping into the sack with other married people, making dodgy payments to those other married people and threatening the innocent injured party with financial ruin in order to cover it all up.

That’s risky behaviour for a ‘would be’ and ‘then became’ politician to indulge in.

And yet, this politician still has the vanity and vainglorious ego to believe that anyone with any decency would take anything they say with more than a pinch of distasteful salt.

But that’s Nationalist types for you – blind to their own shortcomings and hypersensitive to the failings of others.

One of the jibes currently gaining currency as a potential tactic into goading people into voting Yes vote is that of ‘feartie’ and its numerous tedious incarnations.

The Daily Redcoat today has a certain ginger whinger claiming that they think of “personal life choices when people talk about their fear of voting Yes to independence “because of the uncertainty”.”

Put simply, the ‘wee white whine’ thinks voting Yes would be like any domestic life decision which carries risk.

What the ‘whine’ fails to take into consideration is that every one of these personal life decisions referred to also leaves the decision maker with the ability to make realistic future projections for themselves.

A marketing type would call it a SWOT analysis.

In most cases the variables involved are limited and always potentially within the control of the decision maker, fingers crossed.

Whereas, voting Yes involves putting faith in others about whom you know next to nothing and what you do know isnae up to much – or very confidence inducing.

In this instance confidence is being confused with faith. It doesn’t take confidence to vote Yes, it takes faith.

And, the type of faith voters are being asked to be confident about is the faith of supposition, untested projection, delusion and assertion – and that’s just the good points.

When you look at some of the people making these ‘confident’ claims it takes the bravest of hearts not to wilt.

That’s not to say that there’s much to be pleased about with a No vote. Much of what the Nationalists say about the current UK government has a ring of truth in it. Competent propaganda usually does.

But, with the centralised Scottish police ‘tooling up’ in the Highlands, Nationalists like Vladimir Putin being praised for their ‘pride’ restoring abilities and Sun King Salmond working on the recruitment of right wing hawks like Rupert Murdoch to the cause, it doesn’t take too much artistic ‘imagining’ to see what’s coming in the advent of a triumphant vote for the Nationalist Front.

The alternative is to accept that our future is in someone else’s hands as opposed to the alternative alternative of putting our future in someone else’s hands.

Whatever way you vote and no matter how you look at it, you’re putting your future in someone else’s hands.

Of that you can be confident.

COMEDY RELIEF

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Moan McVulpine: Don’t put Independence on that plastic card

Moan says Skints are being pressurised into voting Yes so that they can feel morally superior and emancipated from the evil British empire.
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By Moan McVulpinePlacing chips on shoulders, one chip at a time

THE PROPAGANDA says: “THE only vote you’ll ever need”.

Do they mean the Nationalist customised one, spluttering and splattering its way through the Valley of Unionist Media Lies?

Err, no… The “vote” referred to in the blurb is an oil funded land of milk and honey Yes vote.

It promises to help “make your self-determination dreams come true”. If you believe that, you will probably stay up late on September 18, hoping to spot a flying SuperSalmond.

Referendum dreams often turn nightmarish when your fairy Godmother is a slithering Nationalist snake oil huckster.

The IFS’s Crippled by Fiscal Reality feature yesterday revealed one in four Scots don’t care what the cost of a Yes vote would be.

One in one will start 19 Sep 2014 in the red because they put an X in the Yes box.

The Skinttish Government campaign, The 1228 Days of Neverendum, offers advice aimed at exploiting the vulnerable, the stupid, the xenophobic and the hopelessly romantic into voting for a land of corporate hegemony and severe spending cuts.

Victims descend into a black hole of communal fiscal debt. But they will be soothed by the knowledge that at least it’s fellow Scots who are imposing the misery on them, as opposed to the basturt English.

The campaign website http://www.dontbeafeartiejustsayyes.com encourages us to believe Independence will mean whatever we want it to mean.

Those who turn to Nationalism have often come a cropper with Unionists first.

Before the recession hit in 2008, you couldn’t find a person, other than hard core William Wallace and Robert De Brus types, who gave a sh*t about Independence.

Then the bubble of property based credit fuelled delusion burst. And that gave us Nationalists the real chance to exploit our agenda of grievance, paranoia and common enemies. And to promise a spending splurge which would bankrupt Norway.

Tear-jerking Nationalist propaganda links “voting Yes” ie thinking for yourself and not being a Stockholm syndromed Unionist stooge feartie, with how much we love swastika free saltires and the ‘superhero’ status of our dearest corporate backscratching leader.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t blame Unionists and don’t knowers for living under a rock trembling in fear at the idea of Scottish Nationalist emancipation in oor great wee country. They have good reason.

Joan McArthyalpine will be well rewarded for her numerous ‘services’ to the Firstminster. Anti-Scots Finder General will be her remit and she can sniff out anti-Scots types at 400 paces.

The ‘Did You vote Yes at the Neverendum’ test is already being shaped and formulated from her Dumfries & Galloway fiefdom.

And, in an emancipated Skintland, she will be given free reign and carte blanche to do as she wilt. Scarey stuff indeed!

Still, with her £53,000 plus salary and £20,000 plus expenses, Joanie knows what it’s like to be living hand to foot, dreading the next wind turbine taxed energy bill.

So remember kids, just vote Yes. It will be awright on the night.

It’s whit comes efter that’s the worry.

COMEDY RELIEF

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Joan McCarthyalpine: We’ll make your fear let us live our dreams

MOAN RECKONS the Skints are a bunch of craven fearties at heart. Why else would the world renowned devils in skirts recoil in horror at the vision of a SNP Skintish utopia? Maybe it’s not independence that scares them. Maybe it’s the idea of the likes of Joan McCarthyalpine or Sun King Salmond having absolute power which is too terrifying to contemplate.

Moan McVulpine - delivering collateral damage every time she speaks

By Moan McVulpineChastising Skints for being a bunch of feartie parkas

GREAT THINGS seldom happen if you believe politicians.

These words were printed on a leaflet I spotted while monitoring anti-Skints sedition on the net (definitely my favourite habit, threatening people with being charged).

It’s the sort of motto we pin above the hung drawn and quartered bodies of our anti-Skints enemies.

“Seize the traitors” is another one, or for those in search of a better country, “No pain, no brain”.

Pop soundbites like these have a wide appeal because they are based on SNP assertions, policy and manifestos.

Speak to any successful tax avoider and they will say they had to step outside of their country to make things happen. The entrepreneur could have stuck with his homeland instead of earning tax free millions from Monaco. The famous actor could have listened to his wife and stopped beating her.

A gal might find it uncomfortable to assist with a smearing cheesey website editor, but when he smiles back, discusses Skintish culture and f**ks her brains oot, it’s been worth it.

‘Training’ for a ‘half-marathon’ with the Firstminster takes you out of your comfort zone – but boy does it feel empty when he crosses his finishing line way before you.

Earlier this year, I attended a hustings for schoolchildren citizens at William Wallace Academy to name and shame the ‘enemy within’.

The audience consisted of parents who were all outed as cringing inferiorist traitors to their great wee country.

I asked them: “How many of you are sick to the pit of your stomach at the craven behaviour of your traitorous parents?” Every good citizen’s hand went up.

Then I asked: “How many of you want to live in a Nationalist dominated Skintland?” Very few.

That’s why I explained the SNP strategy in the simplest of terms: “Taking control of your life is what we strive for. We still love our families. And we can visit them in the correctional centres currently being built as part of our ‘Capital’ Infrastructure Project.

A year into the Yes campaign, it is clear the SNP cannot convince anyone of anything beyond their core vote of Nationalist supremacists.

That’s because the Skintish people can spot a Snake Oil huckster on the make every time the huckster’s numerous chins appear on the telly.

The UK is the fourth most unequal country in the world. We want to make Skintland the most unequal.

For the last 30 years, Skintland has whinged and whined more per head of population than the rest of the basturt English put together.

With our country on the brink of another SNP assertion boom, with growth industries such as politicised Barnum statements on the rise, do we really want anything to do with THEM sooth o’ the border?

Do we really want to stay in a place where criticising the SNP can be claimed to be “talkin’ yer country doon”?

Handing real power over to Nationalist types will put us under huge cultural pressure to conform to Skintish stereotypes.

They’re already in the process of centralising and politicising key institutions.

How long till their registers of ‘named persons’ start informing on us for anti-Skint behaviour?

The No camp want you to succumb to fear and insecurity.

With the likes of Joan McCarthyalpine in power, they might have a point.

COMEDY RELIEF

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