Tag Archives: debate

Chronic pain sufferers to be relieved post Sep 2014

The crippling pain suffered at present by almost 4 million Skints is due to end on the 19th September 2014, legal experts have confirmed. AhDinnaeKen reports:

"SNP assertions are a concept by which we measure our pain." - John Lennon. All we are saying, is give peace a chance.

“SNP assertions are a concept by which we measure our pain.” – John Lennon. All we are saying, is gies peace and a chance.

By Maheidz Gowpin

VOTERS WITH chronic pain in Skintland will find relief post 19th September 2014 according to mental and physical wellbeing experts.

People who are most afflicted are being advised to avoid watching telly, reading newspapers or using Twitter or the Internet.

The cause of the pain has been sourced directly to the monotonous daily drone emanating from the alleged debate surrounding Skintland’s so called ‘day of dustbinry’.

Chronic pain-in-arsedom is often attached to other conditions such as Yes campaign assertions and Bitter Thegither scaremongering, which means that the average Skints parka is often left to suffer on their own.

About 200 people a year are sent to Bath in Somerset to be ‘cleansed’ by the puritan nationalist supremacist who lives in a cupboard under the stairs there.

Campaigners want Skintland to have its own cupboard under the stairs to ‘cleanse’ the chronic pain.

In an address to the plasticine parliament, Piggy Eyed Patsy Healthminster Alex Kneel said: “The Skintish Executive is committed to diverting stories from the recent cancergate findings.

“I am desperate to look as if I give a sh*t about people rather than presiding over a system which forces people to leave their ain country in order to stay alive.”

Sceptics, cynics, traitors, quislings and inferiorists all believe that the pain will end on 19th September 2014.

Pessimistic experts believe it could result in the end of chronic pain and enter into a new phase of devastatingly humiliatingly crippling pain.

Rupert Murdoch was unavailable for comment.

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MacAesops Fables #30 – The Labouring Ant and the SNP Grasshopper

Our thirtieth Sunday outpouring of sanctimony and self-righteous morality to be taken as seriously as the SNP cabinet’s universal pension pot culture

“Nothing is more disgusting than the crowing about liberty by slaves, as most men are, and the flippant mistaking for freedom of some paper preamble like a Declaration of Independence, or the statute right to vote, by those who have never dared to think or to act.” SAOR ALBA.

IN A Whollyrude field one summer’s day an SNP Grasshopper was hopping about, chirping and singing to it’s heart content.

A Labouring Ant passed by, bearing along with great toil an ear of corn dhe was taking to the nest.

“Why not come and chat with me,” said the Grasshopper, “instead of toiling and moiling in that way?”

“I am helping to lay up food for the winter,” said the Ant. “and recommend you do the same.”

“Why bother about winter?” said the Grasshopper, we have got plenty of food at present, and if I can get my hands on the levers of power we will have even more.”

But the ant went on its way and continued its toil.

When the winter came the Grasshopper had no food and found itself dying of hunger, while it saw the ants distributing every day corn and grain from the stores they had collected in the summer.

Then the Grasshopper knew:

It is best to prepare for the days of necessity.

Analysis: Bus passes, prescriptions, personal care, University tuition fees, free methadone etc. are all food for the voting electorate.  The question that has to be asked is: “Will the SNP summer last till Autumn 2014?” Or will they have starved themselves of manoeuvering room before the big day? Answers on a Freedom of Misinformation denial form to – well you know the rest of the overdone joke by now.

For more morally superior and vacuous posturing click on the Fable category to the right.

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