Tag Archives: currency

Osborne to call Salmond’s bluff

THE WAR of words and actions between England and Scotland has been ramped up to a state never seen since pre-Darien days. Then, ‘good’ King William helped ensure that Scotland’s daring bid to enrich itself would fail. Has Salmond’s bluff been called? Will Osborne stick his tongue oot and say, “only kidding”? We’ll find out tomorrow. For now, if this was a game of poker, Salmond’s debt default bluff has been well and truly called. AhDinnaeKen reports:

"Money is the sinew of love as well as war." - Dr. Thomas Fuller.  Westminster declares economic war on Scotland. Who's gonnae win.

“Money is the sinew of love as well as war.” – Dr. Thomas Fuller. Westminster to declare economic war on Scotland. Who’s gonnae win?

By Texas Holdem

UK CHANCELLOR Bullingdon Osborne is likely to declare economic war on Scotland tomorrow.

He said he’s had enough of Salmond’s poker playing and it was time to show who really held all the cards in the present currency Union poker game.

The Scottish government accused the chancellor of “running scared” and acting like a “bully”.

Indy commenter, Ian McWhirter, said the chancellor was effectively declaring “economic warfare” on Scotland. Though he kept quiet about Salmond’s threat to default on Scotland’s debt share if he didnae get his currency Union.

The most lucid and wisest advice given to Firstminster Salmond today was from an unexpected quarter.

Country singer, Kenny Rogers (still alive) offered the following wisdom:

“You’ve got to know when to hold ’em
“Know when to fold ’em
“Know when to walk away
“Know when to run
“You never count your money
“When you’re sittin’ at the table
“There’ll be time enough for countin’
“When the dealin’s done”

He further added:

“Now every gambler knows the secret to survivin’
“Is knowin’ what to throw away
“And knowin’ what to keep
“‘Cause every hand’s a winner
“And every hand’s a loser
“And the best that you can hope for
“Is to die in your sleep”

Wag, half-wit, moron and hate blinded idiot, Longshanker, said:

“That’s it then. Indy has died in its sleep. That’s a shame. Next!”

 

CURRENCY UNION EXPLAINED IN THREE WORDS

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Indy traffic light system to be rolled out

Poll after poll of Skintish public opinion consistently shows that there is an urgent need for more clarity in the arguments provided by both sides of the debate – particularly the Nationalist side, as the onus is on them to do the real convincing. AhDinnaeKen takes a look at the new proposed traffic light system for the increasingly confusing ‘big turnoff’ currently being mooted as debate in Skintland.

The SNPs recent assertions on pensions, payments and shared administration was put to the traffic light test recently. This was the result.

The SNP assertions on pensions, payments and shared administration was put to the traffic light test recently. This was the result from a 100kg weighting.

By Troofis Ootthere

A NEW consistent system of political front-of-speech assertion labelling is to be introduced in Skintland, the Electoral Commission says.

A combination of colour coding and assertion information will be used to show how much barefaced lies, horseshit, fantasy and credibility are in each assertion spouted by pro-Independence politicians.

The announcement comes after 300 years of debate about the issue and has been welcomed by electoral groups.

Jock McAverage of the Bored Shitless with Indy Campaign said: “A quality campaign involves substance, not just the stereotypical Barnum statement pro-Scotland soundbites we have heard so far, but where is the all important detail?

“The first casualty of any political campaign is the truth, so we welcome this traffic light system to help the 16/17 year old weans trying to make sense of the increasingly laughable pish spouted by both sides – particularly the SNP.

“The system is easy to understand and should help everyone, particularly the weans, to come to a satisfactory conclusion about how amateur the whole debate has been so far.”

Jock McAverage, 301, is a snivelling cowardly pro-Union Tory quisling BritNat traitor turncoat who has been bought and sold for English basturt gold.

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Salmond’s Indy vision: Move along now, nothing to see here

Frank Drebin Cuthbert, the Naked Gun Economist, pours oil on still turgid independence waters. Everyone other than the Independinista minority say, ‘Ho hum’, next! AhDinnaeKen tries not to die from apathy, indifference and undernourishment:

"The death of democracy is not likely to be an assassination from ambush. It will be a slow extinction from apathy, indifference, and undernourishment." - Robert M. Hutchins

“The death of democracy is not likely to be an assassination from ambush. It will be a slow extinction from apathy, indifference, and undernourishment.” – Robert M. Hutchins

By Sam Nambulist

FRANK DREBIN Cuthbert the oft quoted SNP biased economist has issued a damningly luke warm report on the Salmond Independence vision: “Move along now, nothing to see here”.

It strikes a hammer blow on Wee Ecky’s ‘Levers for Skintland’ vision, outlined in the recently published ‘Heidcase for Independence’ docupamphlet.

“Firstminster Salmond’s eagerness to be more Unionist than the Unionists”, says Frank, “will bind Skintland to Londinium’s square mile of global corruption, corporate whoredom and institutionalised money laundering.

“But at least the Firstminster and his mum/wife won’t have to pay for any more junkets or tea cakes, er, haud on.”

Some economists, such as Frank’s wife, went further. She reckons that Wee Ecky’s Independence lite vision may even result in less powers than we currently possess with the present day Devo-Kiddy-Oan plasticine parliament.

She said: “At present we have the ffrreeddoomm™ to spend our Westminster pocket money as we see fit.

“With Ecky’s current plan, we might not even be able to do that.

“The basturt English Chancer of the Exchequer will tell us what to do.

“The Big European Quangocrats will tell us what to do.

“NATO will tell us what to do.

“So no change there then.”

“The choice, therefore, is stark and simple: Vote Yes – for more of the same. Vote No – for more of the same. Don’t vote at all – for more of the same. Spoil your ballot paper – for more of the same.

“In effect, the Neverendum presents us with at least four voting choices and the great thing is, no matter what we vote or don’t vote for – we’ll still get more of the same.

“As my husband has already said – ‘Move along now, NOTHING to see here’.”

 

TRAGEDY RELIEF

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Swindley: Scaremongering pact must go ahead

Independence debate takes another turn for the worse. Now it isn’t just about uncertainty, Nationalist assertions and scaremongering. It’s all about Scaremongering. AhDinnaeKen reports:

"A disordered currency is one of the greatest political evils." - Daniel Webster.  Evil Tories. Evil Nationalists. They're aw evil scaremongers.

“A disordered currency is one of the greatest political evils.” – Daniel Webster. Evil Tories. Evil Nationalists. They’re aw evil scaremongers.

By Geezalenaya Fiver

THE CASE for an independent Skintland retaining its scaremongering assertions in a scaremongering pact wi’ the basturt scaremongerin’ English is “not assured”, according to treasury scaremongers.

Skintland becoming independent from the UK would “see profound changes in the scaremongering strategy of both states”, it said.

In a future scaremongering speech, Chief Bullingdon Towel Folder, Chancer Osborne will argue there would be an imbalance in the scaremongering relationship between both countries.

The Skintish government said a ‘scaremongering pact’ would be in everyone’s uncertain scaremongering interests.

Voters in Skintland will be given the choice of opting for more arrogant and oppressive imperialistic scaremongering from the basturt English, or wee jobby chip on shooder scaremongering from the sanctimoniously self righteous Nationalists, in September 2014.

Until then, scaremongering is forecast to be the growth industry of the increasingly scaremongering debate and, at present rates, is expected to outgrow renewable Nationalist assertions.

The scaremongering treasury team is expected to argue that even if an independent Skintland did keep its scaremongering quotient, it would lose influence over key scaremongering issues.

Scaremongers Ahoy!
Bullingdon Chancer Osborne said: “Myself and Bullingdon Dave have always said that Skintland can scaremonger alone. The question is, is it better for Skintland.

“All they will really be able to scaremonger about is the English treasury, via the Bank of England, setting interest rates too high in order to mess with the Skintish economy, y’know, just for laughs.”

But Nationalist Deputy Chief Scaremongering Finance Backstabber John Swindley said:

“The Bullingdon Chancer is coming from a profoundly arrogant English basturt point of view that scaremongering belongs only to them.

“Scaremongering is as much in the ownership of the Nationalists as it is in the ownership of the basturt English.

“Have we not pointed out repeatedly that not voting Yes will result in more dictatorial Tory rule forever.

“Whereas with Independence we will be able to be dictated to by Tory Chancers of the Exchequer.

“Now that’s what I call scaremongering!”

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