Tag Archives: currency union

Moan McVulpine: You’re on the next round if you think Salmond’s getting his currency union.

OOR columnist MOAN MCVULPINE argues that Firstminster Salmond should call it a day over the currency union. It’s not within his “gift” to bestow it for an independent Scotland.
Moan McVulpine Banner
By Moan McVulpinelooking after the pounds and ending up with the pennies

CONFUSED ABOUT the currency? Let me help…

Firstminster Salmond says: “It’s in the rUK’s best interests to have a currency union.” How can he be sure?

He cannae. If Scotland separates from the UK, English Nationalists will ensure that no rUK governement wid daur do such a thing without a public lynching.

So why are Ed Milliband, Alistair Darling and George Osborne shouting about saying No?

They like to see that “look” on Salmond’s face.

Explain currency union…

London continues to control the Scottish economy, and we all agree to call it independence.

Support for Independence increases by only 3 per cent over period of twelve months, despite Scottish Civil Service gone native, £1 million per annum Star Chamber and the “phenomenon” that is Wings Over Scotland.

Is it just Alex Salmond’s idea?

Aye. He’s a millstone around the SNP’s neck.

Would we really be independent if we shared the pound?

Yes, of course we would – if you call another country setting your interest rates, limiting your spending and setting your budgets for you, that is.

Firstminster Salmond goes on the counter attack, not realising he’s perceived as a “busted flush” by the No camp, most of his cabinet and half of his party.

So what could we do differently from the UK while sharing it?

We could still wholeheartedly blame Westminster aka the basturt English for all our woes.

That sounds like indpendence to me.

Naw it disnae. It sounds like a recipe for disaster and yet more acrimony between the English and the SNP.

Ed Miliband joins in the basturt English bully boy tactics of our hateful imperialistic colonising subjugators i.e. he says Naw to currency union.

Will the rest of the UK benefit from a Scottish currency union?

Will it f**k. Trying to sell the idea of underwriting the ungrateful Jocks shaky independent economy would be political suicide. The English population may be more than tolerant regarding their northern neighbours grumping, but they’re not walkovers.

Could England suffer without a currency zone?

Naw. Economists calculate a refusal of the currency zone would be so funny it would be worth its weight in gold.

But the Westminster parties are saying they won’t let us share the Bank of England if we vote Yes.

The Bank of England is an institution. There’s a hint in who it belongs to in the name. We’ll leave the free thinkers oot there to work it oot for theirsels.

So with no currency union, there’s no debt for us?

And no assets either.

How much will we save?

Hee haw. We’ll lose more in assets than we save in debt.

But the No campaign say Scotland would be considered a defaulter and our interest rates would go up.

Damn right. The international money markets would see us as Welshers on the deal and treat us accordingly.

Why do Tories and Labour want to lumber the people of England, Wales and Northern Ireland with extra debt?

Because they can.

Do they mean it?

There’s only one way to find out. Go ahead, make their day. Punk!

So they are bluffing?

You want to take the risk finding out?

COMEDY RELIEF

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Currency: Asset or assethole? You decide!

FIRSTMINSTER Salmond and, by definition, the Nationalists, consistently refer to currency as an “asset”. They argue that the sterling currency is as much an asset of Scotland’s as it is of England’s and rUK. It’s why their argument of ‘deny us our assets and we’ll ignore our liabilities’ (debts) holds such resonance for the indy committed. Unionists, as would be expected, say that currency isn’t an asset. So what is it? AhDinnaeKen disnae ken:

"The good fighters of old first put themselves beyond the possibility of defeat, and then waited for an opportunity of defeating the enemy." - Sun Tzu.  Looks like Salmond will be waiting for a while.

“The good fighters of old first put themselves beyond the possibility of defeat, and then waited for an opportunity of defeating the enemy.” – Sun Tzu.  Looks like Salmond failed at the first.

By Izzit Tangible

ON YESTERDAY’S BBC Marr show, Firstminster Salmond said “if you claim ownership of all of the United Kingdom assets like the Bank of England and the currency then you end up with all the liabilities!”

A clear threat that an indy Scotland under the Firstminster’s rule would default on its debt should it be denied a currency union with rUK.

His statement also begged the question, just who is the bully, bluffer and blusterer and is currency an asset?

Here’s what AhDinnaeKen’s extensive investigations found ie we* trawled the internet.

In 2001, Kathy Mann, Director of the Office of the Fiduciary Advisor at State Street Global Advisors concluded:

“However for all intents and purposes, active currency has zero correlation to the major equity and fixed income asset classes.”

That’s a naw. It isnae an asset.

The website ETF.com (Electronically Traded Funds) opens an article entitled ‘Currency: The Overlooked Asset Class’ like this:

“International currency is the largest and most liquid asset class in the world.”

That’s an uncontestable aye. It is an asset.

The implication by ‘The Bankwatch’ is clear here:

“I think there is a lot of confused thinking about Bitcoin.  I believe today it is an asset and not a currency.  That view is supported by first Germany, and now Norway.”

It strongly implies currency is not an asset.

And then there’s an overall balanced argument as put forward here by Advisor.ca:

“On the one hand, there are those who argue that currency is either its own asset class or a subset of alternative asset class, giving it a place in modern portfolio theory.

“In the other camp are the traditionalists who say currency has no inherent value, and as a result is not an asset class in the same way stocks and bonds are.”

The conclusion is clear. Nobody, not even the experts in the field, knows for sure.

In Firstminster Salmond’s case, it comes down to that old faithful of committed indy supporters – trust.

If you trust Salmond, currency is an asset.

If you don’t trust him, it’s not.

If you neither trust him nor distrust him, then it’s mebbe’s it is, mebbe’s it isnae.

The whole argument is moot though.

And it’s ever so slightly offset by the fact that the Tories, the Lib-Dems and the Labouring party aren’t prepared to have a currency union whether it’s an asset or an intangible or a barrel of Brent sweet.

As if it needs repeated, the currency union rejection by the indy opposition has effectively sunk the Yes campaign.

The Nationalists present campaign strategy is of manning the lifeboats and seeing how many survivors they can muster before the whole ship ignobly sinks.

Yesterday’s attack on Andrew Marr by the Firstminster is symptomatic of that contingency strategy.

He knows he’s lost, it’s just a matter of regrouping and re-enthusing the faithful for yet aother push later on – no doubt with a different leader.

And, of course, culprits such as the BBC will always be there to take the blame due to their intangible bias and bullying.

Because that’s the only way right minded people would consider any other alternative than voting Yes. Right kids?

Gie’s a len o’ a poun mister!

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Salmond, Marr and the Charge of the Indy Light Brigade

Who is going to take the blame for the Firstminster’s poor recent showing on the Marr show? The BBC by the looks of it. AhDinnaeKen investigates:

Salmond Charge of Indy Light Brigade

“Theirs not to make reply, Theirs not to reason why, Theirs but to do and die.” – The White Paper. P.1650, Oliver Cromwell Salmond.

By Lord Hustae Blame-Sumbdy

ANOTHER DAY and yet another sign that the Nationalists are losing the war of independence.

Lord Cardigan Salmond declared Lord Marr of Mediabias to be a cad and an instrument of ‘opinion’ in the destruction of the Indy Light Brigade’s charge for European Union.

Maintaining the delusion that his charge offensive – directed at the guns of the Currency and European Union brigade – should have been effective, Lord Salmond accused Lord Marr of Mediabias of hindering his ad hoc plan.

There will be “consequences” said Ensign Wishart of No-Consequence.

And there were.

The BBC published the story in full and said “Lord Cardigan Salmond, do your worst. Even with Master Bateman of Bitterness on your side, you’ll not intimidate us. Put up or shut up. Don’t you know a man with a grievance is a bore?”

There now follows the complete undabridged pathetically plagiarised poetic statement by Lord Tennyson Marr on Lord Cardigan Salmond’s folly and the magnificently futile Charge of the Indy Light Brigade:

1.

Half a league, half a league,
Half a league onward,
All in the valley of Death
Rode the thirty three per cent.
“Forward, the Indy Light Brigade!
“Charge for the biased media!” he said:
Into the valley of Death
Rode the thirty three per cent.

2.

“Forward, the Indy Light Brigade!”
Who to a man were dismay’d!
Not tho’ the Cybernats knew
Someone had blunder’d:
Theirs not to make reply,
Theirs not to reason why,
Theirs but to blame the media and die:
Into the valley of Referendum Death
Rode the thirty three per cent

3.

Tories to the right of them,
Labour to the left of them,
Media Sceptics in front of them,
Bluffed and blustered,
Storm’d at with Realpolitik shot and shell,
Boldly they rode not so well
Into the jaws of Referendum Death
Into the mouth of political Hell
Rode the thirty three per cent

4.

Flash’d all their assertions bare
Flash’d as they turn’d in air,
Sabring the media there,
Charging an army, while
All of Europe wonder’d:
Plunged in the media bias-smoke
Right thro’ the swine, thought they broke
Journalist and Presenter
Laughed at the sabre rattling stroke
Shattered and sunder’d
Then they rode back, but not
Not the thirty three per cent

5.

Tories to the right of them,
Labour to the left of them,
Media Sceptics in front of them,
Bluffed and blustered,
Storm’d at with Realpolitik shot and shell,
Boldly they rode not so well
Came thro’ the jaws of Referendum Death
Back from the mouth of political Hell
All that was left of their career
Left of the thirty three per cent

6.

When can their glory fade?
O the wild charge they made!
All of Europe wondered.
Laughed at the charges they made,
Scoffed at the Indy Light Brigade,
The ineffectual thirty three per cent.

Shamelessly plagiarised from Poems of Alfred Tennyson,
J.E. Tilton and Company, Boston, 1870

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Moan McVulpine: Salmond thinks we were all Osborne yesterday

AFTER SOCIAL surveys revealed recently that less and less rUKers want a currency Union, Moan reckons Salmond’s greetin’, whingin’ and moanin’ hasn’t fooled anyone.

Moan McVulpine Banner
By Moan McVulpinehelping to Nationalise Nationalism

AND NOW for the even worse news.

rUK confidence in a currency union is at its lowest in 300 years and the numbers suffering permanent scepticism is at record levels.

The latest independent survey by YouGov revealed this dispiriting news recently.

But wait a sec, that’s not what Firstminster Salmond predicted – and surely the anointed one’s assertions are always truthful and correct.

In terms of the debate.

Back in 2012, Salmond made one of his grand blustering gestures with Andrew Neil in interview on the treacherous anti-Scottish British Brainwashing Corporation.

He fibbed: “Yes, (we have legal advice on Europe) in terms of the debate”.

Alas, for the boy formerly known as Believable, he was unable to confirm a single word of the lie and delayed a Freedom of Information request for longer than is decent, or acceptable.

And then he was found out.

No legal advice was taken – and the world saw him for what he was.

Within seconds, he not so much cemented, but doubly reinforced the belief that ye cannae believe a word the five pensioned gambler has to say.

And then we saw distasteful glimpses of his future corporate Scotland vision that independence would lead to:

Subsidies for tax avoiding parasitic Amazon, abuse of local power for his corporate pal Donald Trumpton, and clandestine lobbying intentions to help foist a sinister Murdoch media monopoly on the rUK.

He was bluffing about European advice and his bluff was called. He tried to bluff about his meetings with Murdoch and his bluff was called. He was bluffing about currency union and his bluff was called.

Anyone notice a pattern there?

The plain fact is this – nobody trusts Salmond other than the faithful, the deluded and the resentful. Y’know – Nationalists.

He is increasingly reverting to type ie stereotype. How many times did he mention the ‘English’ in his alleged ‘deconstruction’ of the Bullingdon Chancer’s speech in Edinborrow recently?

Hunners o’ times!

It’s a sure fire indicator that indy is going to lose.

In Scotland there are plenty of 90 minute Anglophobes, but ye cannae rely on them to vote Yes just because we* all allegedly hate Poshboy Tory Toffs.

Still, it’s clear Salmond has learned nothing from the Bullingdon Chancer’s intervention.

He keeps asserting, like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, there’s no place like home. Or rather, there WILL be a currency union.

How often can he assert that before what’s left of his tattered political reputation is completely shredded?

He failed to rebut any of the awkward repercussions of the new political future of the currency union.

He is trying to avoid answering awkward questions.

So is his lapdog Swindley.

By their deeds shall ye ken them.

COMEDY RELIEF

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Currency union explained in three words

AHDINNAEKEN presents a short, concise and succinct explanation of the repercussions of yesterday’s announcement by the governor of the Bank of England:

Carney (above) delivered a financial weapon of mass destruction yesterday.  It would be 'logical' and 'desirable' for the Nationalists to accept that.

Mark Carney (above) delivered a financial weapon of mass destruction yesterday. It would be ‘logical’ and ‘desirable’ for Salmond’s Nationalists to realise that.

By Corrie Spondent

SALMOND’S PLAN f**ked!

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That Wiz The Week That Wiznae #1

Another half hearted attempt at keeping AhDinnaeKen running due to creeping torpor, slithering ennui, ever present nihilism and out and out boredom at the increasingly cyclic repetitious tedium of the Neverendum debate. New AhDinnaeKen correspondent Roderick Random tries a quick half witted and utterly discredited attempt at summarising the week that wiznae.

"A liar begins with making falsehood appear like truth, and ends with making truth itself appear like falsehood." - William Shenstone.

“A liar begins with making falsehood appear like truth, and ends with making truth itself appear like falsehood.” – William Shenstone.  So, that’s Salmond’s political philosophy dealt with then.

By Roderick Random

Monday: Sterling Zone No More

Skintland got a heavy handed ticking off from a thoroughly discredited Towel Folding Bullingdon Poshboy Chancer who, despite his lack of credibility on virtually anything (including towel folding), still has the power to say F**k Off to a rUK currency Union with an Independent Skintland.

As the Fantasy Assertion Nationalist boys quite rightly pointed out, saying no to a currency Union would not be a credible option for a rUK driving headlong into catastrophic bankruptcy in the medium to long term. Just makes you wonder why the Nationalists want to be an integral part of such a potentially debilitating and difficult to avoid catastrophe.

It also begs the question: Could the Nationalists make any kind of meaningful demands in currency union negotiations when faced with a dominant foreign and potentially belligerent treasury?

Summed up – A truly terrible start to a terrible week for the Nationalists.

"He that hopes no good fears no ill." - Thomas Fuller. That's right kids! Vote Yes or No for more of the same.

“Scaredey Nat”

Tuesday: Scaremongering outbreak – time to get vaccinated

The Pantsonfire Troika of Messrs Salmond, Swindley and Deputy Miss Leader Sturgeon concede political dominance on the currency issue to Bullingdon Towel Folding Chancer Osborne when all three begin talking about an outbreak of “scaremongering” amongst the Unionists.

In private, Baron Salmond let slip: “It’s Westminster’s and the Treasury’s baw, they get to say who plays in the gemme and whit the rules ur. Arrogant English Basturts, we never get picked furst.”

Summed up: Even if the Nats were right, they’re still wrong. They don’t make the rules on the currency Union issue. Get ower it.

No booze is good booze.

No booze is good booze.

Wednesday: Drunken evidence gets pished on by everybody

The London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine tries to get its own back on the alcohol trade bodies which bitch slapped its alcohol pricing evidence back in 2008.

Back then, the pro-alcohol lobby had the temerity to talk up their business by blowing holes in the temperance and prohibition wing of the Nationalist Socialist Party’s asserted determination to impose Jakey Apartheid on the rest of Skintland.

The imposition, which the Nationalists hope will ensure a better class of alcoholic Jakey in Skintland ie the well off, is currently being treated like a cheap can of hooch in courts throughout Scotland and Europe.

Summed up: The benefits of a NSP majority dominated Unicameral government comes back to embarrassingly haunt it for the world to see in 3D Tartan-Assertion-Vision.

"Few would venture to deny the advantages of prohibitive temperance in increasing the efficiency of a nation at war with itself." - Joyless Scunner Sturgeon.

“Few would venture to deny the advantages of prohibitive temperance in increasing the efficiency of a nation at war with itself.” – Joyless Scunner Sturgeon.

Thursday: Solemn League and Covenant dismissed by Sturgeon

Deputy Miss Leader Sturgeon poured oil on the waters of the Kirk by poo pooing their call for a separate coronation for the likes of the Queen, Prince Chuck and his Royal progeny.

Originating from an area which still resonates with vivid oral tales and lore from the covenanting ‘Killing Times’, Roderick Random thinks Miss Leader Sturgeon’s offhand flippancy might just rebound by coming back and haunting her ill judged remarks.

The Kirk is all too easily written off due to its continuing decline in congregational numbers, but its spiritual leaders work within distinctive historical time frames with completely different temporal and spiritual perspectives.

The message coming from the pulpit however might just send voters in one direction or the other, depending on the respect paid to their vested wishes.

Summed up: Faith has just as much resonance in the spiritual realm as it does in the political. Deputy Miss Leader Sturgeon would do well to remember that.

 

Boo! Hiss! Cancel my subscription to Private Eye. Boo!

Boo! Hiss! Cancel my subscription to Private Eye. Boo!

Friday: Have I Got Boos For You

Yet again, our humourless compatriots demonstrate that humour is a scarce resource in thin skin rich, hot air rich, oil rich, whisky rich, assertion rich Skintland.

The BBC’s London-centric Have I Got News For You audience voted that Skintland should “bugger off” and be denied access to the pound. The cheeky racist English basturts! Hope they lose their empire, er etc.

Cue hordes of Presbyterian, Humourless, Temperance, Prohibition and Irony Free independinistas insisting that such ‘condescendingly insulting’ satire will ensure victory in the most historic day in the history of history ever – er, sometime in September next year, we think.

Summed Up: They will rue the day etc etc. We have suffered this for 300 years etc etc. Basturt English etc etc. ZZZzzz etc etc!

Angus Robberson: Chinning the chin merchants for having too many chins.

Angus Robberson: Chinning the chin merchants for having too many chins to chin.

Saturday: Too wee, too poor, too stupit to change the tune!

AhDinnaeKen cannot recall any prominent Unionist, either positive or negative, actually using the too wee, too poor, yadda yadda mantra about Skintland’s chances of going it alone.

Yet, in an interview on AudioBoo, Angus Robberson MP, the SNP’s Furst Strike Chip On Shooder scaremongering attack poodle, insisted on putting words into the mouths of Bullingdon Chancer Osborne and his travelling pet Ginger Rodent, Fanny Alexander.

Robberson said: “They are running around trying to scare people into voting no. And I think it says something about the paucity of the argument in favour of the Union that the only case they seem to be making is that people in Scotland are uniquely poor, stupid and incapable of governing themselves.”

Hmm! Roderick Random doesn’t remember them saying that, quite the opposite in fact, but facts plainly don’t hinder Mr Furst Strike Robberson when he’s in full flow SNP assertion mode.

Summed up: Roderick Random is a keen anti-censorship advocate, but surely it isn’t asking too much of the Nationalists to slap a ban on the too wee, too poor, chip on shooder yadda yadda tedious mantra pish.

"It's so easy for propaganda to work, and dissent to be mocked". - Harold Pinter. Working out which is which is the problem in Skintland

“It’s so easy for propaganda to work, and dissent to be mocked”. – Harold Pinter. Working out which is which is the problem in Skintland

Sunday: The Nationalists Cannae Take It Captain

Even the most ardent Nationalist accepts that it’s been a bruising week for the Independence campaign. The cracks in the broad church are beginning to leak and the Nationalist Socialist Party is getting impatient with Baron Salmond’s lack of radicalism, vision or drive to break beyond the 30% support barrier.

Wars of Attrition are invariably won by the most firmly entrenched side and, in the Neverendum’s instance, that isnae the Salmond led forces of Nationalism and Self-Righteous Ffffrrrreeeeddddoooommmm™ Fighters.

As AhDinnaeKen has said before, Salmond’s bolt is mostly shot. He’s as much an asset as a liability to the Independence cause. They cannae win Independence with him, and they cannae win it without him.

Summed up: The Nationalist Indy dilemma needs mair than di-lithium crystals Captain. Phasers set to stun. Warp speed 10 etc etc.

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Scaremongering outbreak: Time to get immunised says Electoral Commission

Will the future of Skintland’s Neverendum vote be affected by the current outbreak of scaremongering presently afflicting Westminster and the Basturt English populations? AhDinnaeKen reports:

"He that hopes no good fears no ill." - Thomas Fuller. That's right kids! Vote Yes or No for more of the same.

“He that hopes no good fears no ill.” – Thomas Fuller. That’s right kids! Vote Yes or No for more of the same. Nothing to fear here other than fear itself.

By Weeraw Dumed

OLDER VOTERS not protected against scaremongering in Skintland are being offered the chance to be ‘vaccinated’.

The Electoral Commission are writing to voters and under age voters after a rising number of cases emanating from England and Westminster.

Problems have been caused by the number of 16 and 17 year old children not immunised after the now discredited concerns over currency unions and Nationalist fantasy assertions.

Skintland’s scaremongering vaccination uptake has been high, but the chief propaganda officer urged the terrified to get immunised immediately or they’ll probably die from laughing at the Nationalists or from fright at the Unionists.

The number of potential scaremongering cases in Skintland has been steadily rising over the past 15 months to a total just short of 4 million.

Across the whole of Alba and Caledonia there were 1,209,2014 cases last week – the highest figure since Tricky Dicky Salmond claimed he had taken legal advice on Europe.

Skintland’s chief propaganda officer, Sir Scary Prospect, said the country had suffered from an unenviable scaremongering outbreak by both the Nationalists and the Unionists and warned against the dangers of not getting jabbed.

He said: “Since the beginning of January 2012, Skintland has been subjected to an unprecedented outbreak of scaremongering.

“Nationalist scaremongers say that not voting Yes will result in horrible evil, baby eating, inhumane Tory Tory rule forever.

“Unionist scaremongers assert that not voting No will result in pain, misery, poverty and a lifetime of having to listen to Firstminster Oil Baron Salmond’s pish.

“Vaccination is the best way to protect childish voters and older voters against serious consequences – it’s too hard to tell how many have died from fright and how many have died laughing.”

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