OOR columnist MOAN MCVULPINE argues that Firstminster Salmond should call it a day over the currency union. It’s not within his “gift” to bestow it for an independent Scotland.
By Moan McVulpine – looking after the pounds and ending up with the pennies
CONFUSED ABOUT the currency? Let me help…
Firstminster Salmond says: “It’s in the rUK’s best interests to have a currency union.” How can he be sure?
He cannae. If Scotland separates from the UK, English Nationalists will ensure that no rUK governement wid daur do such a thing without a public lynching.
So why are Ed Milliband, Alistair Darling and George Osborne shouting about saying No?
They like to see that “look” on Salmond’s face.
Explain currency union…
London continues to control the Scottish economy, and we all agree to call it independence.
Support for Independence increases by only 3 per cent over period of twelve months, despite Scottish Civil Service gone native, £1 million per annum Star Chamber and the “phenomenon” that is Wings Over Scotland.
Is it just Alex Salmond’s idea?
Aye. He’s a millstone around the SNP’s neck.
Would we really be independent if we shared the pound?
Yes, of course we would – if you call another country setting your interest rates, limiting your spending and setting your budgets for you, that is.
So what could we do differently from the UK while sharing it?
We could still wholeheartedly blame Westminster aka the basturt English for all our woes.
That sounds like indpendence to me.
Naw it disnae. It sounds like a recipe for disaster and yet more acrimony between the English and the SNP.
Will the rest of the UK benefit from a Scottish currency union?
Will it f**k. Trying to sell the idea of underwriting the ungrateful Jocks shaky independent economy would be political suicide. The English population may be more than tolerant regarding their northern neighbours grumping, but they’re not walkovers.
Could England suffer without a currency zone?
Naw. Economists calculate a refusal of the currency zone would be so funny it would be worth its weight in gold.
But the Westminster parties are saying they won’t let us share the Bank of England if we vote Yes.
The Bank of England is an institution. There’s a hint in who it belongs to in the name. We’ll leave the free thinkers oot there to work it oot for theirsels.
So with no currency union, there’s no debt for us?
And no assets either.
How much will we save?
Hee haw. We’ll lose more in assets than we save in debt.
But the No campaign say Scotland would be considered a defaulter and our interest rates would go up.
Damn right. The international money markets would see us as Welshers on the deal and treat us accordingly.
Why do Tories and Labour want to lumber the people of England, Wales and Northern Ireland with extra debt?
Because they can.
Do they mean it?
There’s only one way to find out. Go ahead, make their day. Punk!
So they are bluffing?
You want to take the risk finding out?