INDEPENDENT WATCHDOG Audit Scotland found that the number of patients experiencing over extended waiting times at casualty departments has tripled over the past five years – a period which coincides with SNP governance of the Scottish NHS. AhDinnaeKen reports:
By Troofis Ootthare
ALEX NEIL has reassured Scotland that waiting times in A&E departments will be extended under independence.
The health secretary insisted that only upon achieving our ffrreeddoomm™ can we expect to wait longer in casualty.
He told the imperial propagandist BBC: “Past administrations waiting times have been rubbish. Only upon achieving independence can we guarantee that health service waiting times will be even more rubbish.
“We have wasted a further £50 million pounds on proving that a Nationalist based NHS can be just as rubbish, if not more rubbish, than the UK’s.”
Drunks, wasters, hypochondriacs and junkies welcomed the announcement.
Robin Bassa, a client/consultant of the Scottish government’s methadone programme said:
“This’ll be great man. The longer and mair bored people wait at the casualty, the mair chance there is tae dip their bag or their pockets.
“We welcome these findings by Audit Scotland.”
Health experts said Mr Neil’s plan served as a guide toward what can’t be expected from an independent Scotland.
Doctor Urye Awrightpal said: “More nurses and support staff will lose their jobs, more cancer patients will die due to lack of lifesaving drugs and waiting times at A&E will lengthen if we become independent.
“You just have to look at what the SNP Health Secretary hasn’t achieved so far to see how much more he won’t achieve in a future independent Scotland.”
Alternative ‘crackpot’ news site of truth, information and Nationalist doctrine, Newsnat Scotland welcomed the Audit Scotland figures:
“This Audit Scotland report gives us yet another excuse to attack the British Brainwashing Corporation for the imperialist, out of touch, elitist, anti-Scots, propaganda machine that all sane persons know it has become.
“By reporting these independent findings they have exposed yet again what they have become and what they are – a newsgathering organisation.
“Things will be different in an independent Scotland. We guarantee it”