Monthly Archives: March 2014

Salmond, Marr and the Charge of the Indy Light Brigade

Who is going to take the blame for the Firstminster’s poor recent showing on the Marr show? The BBC by the looks of it. AhDinnaeKen investigates:

Salmond Charge of Indy Light Brigade

“Theirs not to make reply, Theirs not to reason why, Theirs but to do and die.” – The White Paper. P.1650, Oliver Cromwell Salmond.

By Lord Hustae Blame-Sumbdy

ANOTHER DAY and yet another sign that the Nationalists are losing the war of independence.

Lord Cardigan Salmond declared Lord Marr of Mediabias to be a cad and an instrument of ‘opinion’ in the destruction of the Indy Light Brigade’s charge for European Union.

Maintaining the delusion that his charge offensive – directed at the guns of the Currency and European Union brigade – should have been effective, Lord Salmond accused Lord Marr of Mediabias of hindering his ad hoc plan.

There will be “consequences” said Ensign Wishart of No-Consequence.

And there were.

The BBC published the story in full and said “Lord Cardigan Salmond, do your worst. Even with Master Bateman of Bitterness on your side, you’ll not intimidate us. Put up or shut up. Don’t you know a man with a grievance is a bore?”

There now follows the complete undabridged pathetically plagiarised poetic statement by Lord Tennyson Marr on Lord Cardigan Salmond’s folly and the magnificently futile Charge of the Indy Light Brigade:

1.

Half a league, half a league,
Half a league onward,
All in the valley of Death
Rode the thirty three per cent.
“Forward, the Indy Light Brigade!
“Charge for the biased media!” he said:
Into the valley of Death
Rode the thirty three per cent.

2.

“Forward, the Indy Light Brigade!”
Who to a man were dismay’d!
Not tho’ the Cybernats knew
Someone had blunder’d:
Theirs not to make reply,
Theirs not to reason why,
Theirs but to blame the media and die:
Into the valley of Referendum Death
Rode the thirty three per cent

3.

Tories to the right of them,
Labour to the left of them,
Media Sceptics in front of them,
Bluffed and blustered,
Storm’d at with Realpolitik shot and shell,
Boldly they rode not so well
Into the jaws of Referendum Death
Into the mouth of political Hell
Rode the thirty three per cent

4.

Flash’d all their assertions bare
Flash’d as they turn’d in air,
Sabring the media there,
Charging an army, while
All of Europe wonder’d:
Plunged in the media bias-smoke
Right thro’ the swine, thought they broke
Journalist and Presenter
Laughed at the sabre rattling stroke
Shattered and sunder’d
Then they rode back, but not
Not the thirty three per cent

5.

Tories to the right of them,
Labour to the left of them,
Media Sceptics in front of them,
Bluffed and blustered,
Storm’d at with Realpolitik shot and shell,
Boldly they rode not so well
Came thro’ the jaws of Referendum Death
Back from the mouth of political Hell
All that was left of their career
Left of the thirty three per cent

6.

When can their glory fade?
O the wild charge they made!
All of Europe wondered.
Laughed at the charges they made,
Scoffed at the Indy Light Brigade,
The ineffectual thirty three per cent.

Shamelessly plagiarised from Poems of Alfred Tennyson,
J.E. Tilton and Company, Boston, 1870

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Filed under Media, Referendum

No more hi-tech for Scots if they choose independence

FIRST the Nationalists promised us an X-Box One. Now Better Together say we’ll have to give up our i-pad mini’s. AhDinnaeKen asks, just what gadgets are we going to gain or lose post-Neverendum:

Nationalists want us to rediscover our historical roots with alternative technology.

Nationalists want us to rediscover our historical roots with alternative technology.

By Naemare Hitech

SCOTS COULD be left with no hi-tech gadgets in the event of a Neverendum Yes vote.

According to a Better Together Project Feartie & Snivelling Coward spokesperson, the Scots could end up “having to text from a phone box”.

The announcement followed the recent shocking news that oil revenues can go up as well as down – known in political circles as doing a ‘Joan McAlpine’.

Better Together Frontman Blare MacDougall said that Scots could end up having to play Call of Duty on that ZX Spectrum currently festering in their loft.

He said: “First we were told we would be better off by £500 a head – enough for a X-Box One – trebles all round.

“Now it turns out we’ll have to give up our i-Pad minis – turn doon the heating will ye.”

The Scottish public were left shellshocked by the announcement which followed the recent publishing of GERS data.

According to the Institute of Pronouncements, Scotland’s deficit could be as much as £1000 per person by 20016-17 – the equivalent of having to give up your flat screen telly, Sky Box, Blu-Ray player and i-Pad mini.

“We’ll be left watching black and white Sanyo portables if the Nationalists get their way,” moaned one bigoted, thought controlled, anti-Scots, cringing, snivelling, cowardly Quisling traitor to his country.

Nokia 3310 mobile phone owning spokesperson for the SNP, Wee Naebudy, said: “Who needs hi-tech in an independent Scotland? We’ll have each other. And ye can borrow mah phone if ye like.”

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Filed under Economy, Referendum

Moan McVulpine: Scots are being kept in the dark about poison leaking from our own countrymen.

MOAN SAYS the latest Cybernat attack on a ‘national treasure’ was the type of Nationalist aggression which paints a toxic picture of the whole Yes campaign.

Moan McVulpine Banner

By Moan McVulpineputting the ‘active’ into radioactive

BRAGG, FOGLE and Campbell sound like disparate names from an indy comic.

In fact, they are the names of three persons normally domiciled in England who have made their own proclamations on the Scottish independence debate.

One, Billy Bragg – an alleged singer – was openly welcomed by the Cybernat community.

Billy wants Scotland to gain independence so that the ‘Northern Light’ of Scottish Nationalism can illuminate a political reformation for the English in the political darkness.

Don’t laugh. He was deadly serious!

Another, Ben Fogle, was attacked and told to shut up.

Ben’s crime, you see, was that he made an appeal to the heart strings of the Scottish public through the medium of his Twitter account:

“A week in Scotland and I’m reminded how much I like Scots and Scotland. Please don’t leave us……….” said Fogle.

Like many appeals, it was based on sentiment and there’s nothing wrong with that. Just as many people will be voting with their hearts as with their heads come September – on both sides of the debate.

Ironically, Toxic Hate Preaching Avenger, Stuart Campbell of Wings Over Scotland, commanded Fogle not to “meddle” in “our business”, as if, somehow, he has the ‘authority’ to speak for the mythic “us”.

He spewed: “If you like us, have the courtesy and respect not to meddle in our business. Scotland and Scots will still exist either way.”

Like most ‘wee man’ dictatorial censors with a jumped up sense of their own importance, it was a crude attempt at the silencing of free speech through ‘othering’.

Laughably, though predictably, it’s not even consistent.

Earlier in the campaign, Campbell Tweeted in defense of Billy Bragg – another Englishman – who didn’t have “the courtesy and respect not to meddle in our business.”

Yet, because Bragg was ‘meddling’ in favour of a Yes vote, that was acceptable and Campbell was supportive.

“Here’s a thing.” he raged, “Billy Bragg got a ton of abuse from Labour No types for his comments. Where’s the media outrage?”

Where indeed? With Campbell defending him, maybe the media were scared.

To cut a long tediously toxic story short, Campbell got caught up in an argument with well known Labour demagogue Duncan Hothersall.

The crux of their argument centred on the right of Ben Fogle to make an appeal to the Scots.

According to Campbell, Fogle should either have been born in Scotland or live in Scotland, otherwise he has no business meddling in “our” affairs or voicing an opinion. Y’know, the antithesis of free speech.

Fogle proved that he’s no wallflower however: “I certainly won’t be cowed by some narrow minded cybernats. It’s one of the great liberties many countries don’t have. Free speech.”

No doubt Ben would be interested in cybernat Campbell’s ‘interesting’ take on song singers in Scotland – he wants to lock them up for singing songs he doesn’t like. Go figure.

In terms of birthright, Dunc Hothersall quite rightly raised the spectre of ethnic Nationalism against Campbell’s crude attempt at censorship.

Campbell’s ethnic definition of Scottishness is as follows: “”Scots” = people born or resident in Scotland… Ben Fogle isn’t.”

The implication’s clear. In ethnic Nationalists like Campbell’s world, you can only have an opinion on Scotland’s referendum if you live here or you were born here.

Fogle used to live here and holds the place in great affection. It provided him with his career break. He also revealed that his “grandfather was a proud Scotsman”.

Four words: Nigel Quashie, Scotland squad.

Nigel Quashie represented Scotland’s football team at international level on 14 separate occasions. Quashie was born in the London Borough of Southwark to a Ghanaian father and an English mother.

He had a proudly Scottish grandfather and was more than happy to represent Scotland’s football team.

Even within the twisted logic of Campbell’s toxically segregated world Fogle qualifies to speak on the hallowed referendum.

If Quashie can qualify to play for our international football team – and one of the stronger symbols of our modern Scottishness – then Ben Fogle more than qualifies to pass an opinion.

Even more so than Billy Bragg.

But that’s not how it works in the “creepy as f**k” world of the would be Nationalist apparatchik.

That Nationalists at senior level turn a blind eye – if not openly endorse  – this type of creepy twisted logic tells its own story.

Campbell made it clear that Nationalists shoud only tolerate opinions from those qualified to pass his ad hoc “Scottishness” test.

God help us.

And God bless Ben Fogle.

COMEDY RELIEF

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Filed under CyberNats, Moan McVulpine

Moan McVulpine: Sick of listening to empty assertions

MOAN says the only way marriages can guarantee fidelity is for wives to have eyes in the back of their heads when Moan’s around.
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By Moan McVulpinetaking the fidelity out of infidelity

IF YOU leave out the “in” word, most people in Scotland back infidelity.

By that I mean a majority want the power of a faithful marriage, even if folk like me still find the concept meaningless.

I want power over faithful wives so that never again do I have to commission photos as a proxy payment for my erstwhile gigolos.

I want power over auld Granny Salmond so that “special time” becomes “all the time”.

I want everything these naively faithful wives have – security, a loving environment, someone to pay their speeding fines.

But no one wants to share that with me. Not even my own husband!

I want control of the Firstminster to protect me from myself.

I want control of all the MSPs around me at Whollyrude.

I want control of pensions so that if Granny Salmond gets out of hand I can threaten her where it hurts – her purse.

Virtually no one in Scotland or the Scottish parliament trusts me – I don’t know why.

I’m doing this for my country – for the greater love of my people.

To condemn me is to condemn Scotland. Don’t these anti-Scots get that?

Some whisper there is a need to protect wives from what is happening within a 100 metre radius of me.

In an independent Scotland no marriage will be safe. Why should it be?

Marriage has stuttered and stammered for the past 300 years. And it’s a Union, like a political Union I know, which has outlived its purpose.

Haven’t my past actions proved that?

You know how to vote come September.

Vote (in)fidelity.

COMEDY RELIEF

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Filed under Moan McVulpine, Treachery

Crowdfunding: Honesty and integrity #1 Wings Over Scotland

A TWEET by a grumpy old know-it-all grandpa type lit the touchpaper for this piece. The original Brian McC – “a retired businessman determined to see a free and prosperous Scotland” – Tweeted that he has “never doubted” the “honesty” of Jedi ‘Reverend’ Stuart Campbell of Wings Over Scotland. AhDinnaeKen decided to set the record straight for grandpa grump. Wingsy may be many things, but we doubt ‘honest’ is one of them? AhDinnaeKen pontificates:

That's what we like to see Grandpa. Fighting talk. We bet Wee Napoleon Wingsy's got the biggest balls - all 5'7" of him.

That’s what we like to see Grandpa. Fighting talk. We bet Wee Napoleon Wingsy’s got nae balls – all 5’7″ of him.

By Longshanker aka @ergasiophobe

WINGS OVER Scotland launched its mendicancy based fundraiser for the second year running recently.

It allegedly sheared more than £50,000 from its flock of golden fleeced sheep within a period of eight hours.

Quite an achievement if/when corroborated by an independent third party.

Until such a time though, its nothing but bluff, bluster and bullshit. Y’know, the Wings modus operandi.

But we* knew that already.

AhDinnaeKen’s attention was first drawn to the launch by a series of tweets between political commentator Euan McColm and pseudo-political hate preacher Stuart Campbell.

McColm had earlier appeared to suggest that the £50k figure could have been reached by the possible recycling of funds from the Indiegogo crowdfunding site. Doing so would boost the perceived donations figure – the total donated being conveniently displayed on the right hand side.

McColm Indiegogo

It’s in the rules right enough. See below.

In theory – and in practise – it’s a completely feasible and relatively easy procedure to execute.

The following is lifted directly from the Indiegogo site regarding payments on Flexibly Funded fundraisers such as Campbell’s:

For Flexible Funding campaigns, contributions made through PayPal are sent to your PayPal account instantly. You will receive a disbursement confirmation from PayPal with each contribution. After the contribution has been sent, your PayPal account will be charged our 9% platform fee by Indiegogo.

If you meet your goal and raised funds through PayPal, we will refund 5% of your campaign’s total PayPal funds so that your net platform fee is only 4%. That refund will be sent directly to your PayPal account within 10 business days after your campaign deadline.

So, technically, if an individual wanted to, they could let the funds ramp up to whatever figure – say £10,000 – transfer the amount to another PayPal account and then donate to the fund again.

It would mean you’d lose a certain amount of money, but some of that would be offset by the rule which results in a 5% refund of the campaign’s total, if reached, at the end of the campaign.

For example, your initial 10k could, theoretically, quickly appear as approximately £27,000 within a matter of hours/minutes.

The lost funds would more than pay for themselves in resulting publicity and serve the dual purpose of tapping into the Wangs herd mentality of wanting to be part of the perceived groupthink momentum. Many of them (below) quite plainly, want to stick it to the man.

It's all part of the groupthink mentality of Wingnuts Over Scotland site.

It’s all part of the hate ritual groupthink mentality of the Wingnuts Over Scotland site.

Raising money faster than the SNP or the YesScotland campaign is newsworthy in anyone’s language – even the “evil” biased mainstream media – and would be well worth the offsetting of a couple of grand to achieve.

With Campbell’s fundraiser the bar is set at a modest £53,000!? It has already been allegedly smashed.

Campbell stated that he had received a single donation of £10,000 – hence our £10,000 figure referred to earlier. Unsurprisingly, you have to take him at his word for that. AhDinnaeKen knows first-hand how reliable his word is.

We* thought it would be worth taking a look at the numbers of donators, the numbers of funders, the types of donators (named, anonymous etc) and the frequency of their donations.

1490 Funders, yet only just above 300 odd listed below. Curious.

1490 Funders, yet only just above 300 odd listed below. Curious.

At the time of writing the Indiegogo site showed Wings number of funders at 1490 – a reasonably impressive figure.

But, when counted, the number of donators listed below that figure only totalled approx 310+

A curious and somewhat large disparity.

It can be explained somewhat by Wingsy acolytes making multiple donations.

For example, one donator under the pseudonym, “Euan McColm 50% supplement“, used his/her account to donate to Indiegogo 19 times.

Others donated anything from twice to ten times. And then there were approximately 29 undisclosed donations – almost ten per cent of of the listed donator total.

Now, don’t get us* wrong, nobody’s saying this isn’t legitimate and above board.

It’s just that when you use the logic of the pretentiously named Occam’s Razor, it’s easier to reach a multitude of other conclusions regarding the veracity of Wings alleged fundraiser figure.

For the sake of interest, we* checked three other Indiegogo fundraisers: Labour for Indy, Yes in the Glen and Future of Scotland – Scottish Borders.

Curiously, their ‘Funder’ numbers matched the number of listed donaters below the funders tab – exactly.

Only Wings Over Scotland, of the four investigated, had such a huge differential.

We*’re sure that there’s a perfectly feasible and credible explanation, for such a difference.

And we*’re all ears for it to be logically and truthfully explained by the alleged ‘Reverend’.

Until such time though, it’s worth reserving judgement on the alleged funds raised.

Campbell’s discourse with McColm shows that he’s spoiling for a fight. He actively goaded McColm into libelling him. He wants the publicity and attention.

It’s the type of pathology becoming of a wee man narcissist – unedifying and distasteful.

"Honesty pays, but it doesn’t seem to pay enough to suit some people." - Kin Hubbard

“Honesty pays, but it doesn’t seem to pay enough to suit some people.” – Kin Hubbard

Acolytes and fans of the site will have no problem believing the anointed Campbell. That’s part of the reason they’re such committed Yes voters – they’ll believe virtually anything dressed in Nationalist snake oil.

For anyone else it’s a different matter.

Like many middle aged men, Campbell is a prodigious reader of second world war material. From battles to diplomacy to Nazi propaganda he’s no doubt learned, if you’re going to lie, lie big.

That was the philosophy behind the most effective Nazi propaganda and Campbell, if nothing else, has a penchant for the self serving variety.

We*’re not saying he’s lying. We*’re just saying he’s not being very truthful, honest or transparent.

Grandpa grump, referred to on the intro of this piece, said that he has never doubted Wingsy’s alleged honesty.

We* bet you whatever you like that Grandpa grump can’t tell us what church the Jedi ‘Reverend’ is a minister of.

Calling himself a Reverend without revealing what church he’s allegedly from is itself a dishonest act.

He’s having a cheap laugh at his followers, quite literal, expense.

And the sad thing is, so are all his enemies and adversaries.

If Wingsy is “honest” then he should have no problem opening his Indiegogo accounts for all to inspect – without conditions.

The fact that he isn’t prepared to tells its own story.

"The keys to brand success are self-definition, transparency, authenticity and accountability." - Simon Mainwaring.  Ah well Wingsy, you've got the first in the list. Pity about the rest.

“The keys to brand success are self-definition, transparency, authenticity and accountability.” – Simon Mainwaring. Ah well Wingsy, you’ve got the first in the list. Pity about the rest.

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Filed under CyberNats, Lies, Wangs Watch