No more hi-tech for Scots if they choose independence

FIRST the Nationalists promised us an X-Box One. Now Better Together say we’ll have to give up our i-pad mini’s. AhDinnaeKen asks, just what gadgets are we going to gain or lose post-Neverendum:

Nationalists want us to rediscover our historical roots with alternative technology.

Nationalists want us to rediscover our historical roots with alternative technology.

By Naemare Hitech

SCOTS COULD be left with no hi-tech gadgets in the event of a Neverendum Yes vote.

According to a Better Together Project Feartie & Snivelling Coward spokesperson, the Scots could end up “having to text from a phone box”.

The announcement followed the recent shocking news that oil revenues can go up as well as down – known in political circles as doing a ‘Joan McAlpine’.

Better Together Frontman Blare MacDougall said that Scots could end up having to play Call of Duty on that ZX Spectrum currently festering in their loft.

He said: “First we were told we would be better off by £500 a head – enough for a X-Box One – trebles all round.

“Now it turns out we’ll have to give up our i-Pad minis – turn doon the heating will ye.”

The Scottish public were left shellshocked by the announcement which followed the recent publishing of GERS data.

According to the Institute of Pronouncements, Scotland’s deficit could be as much as £1000 per person by 20016-17 – the equivalent of having to give up your flat screen telly, Sky Box, Blu-Ray player and i-Pad mini.

“We’ll be left watching black and white Sanyo portables if the Nationalists get their way,” moaned one bigoted, thought controlled, anti-Scots, cringing, snivelling, cowardly Quisling traitor to his country.

Nokia 3310 mobile phone owning spokesperson for the SNP, Wee Naebudy, said: “Who needs hi-tech in an independent Scotland? We’ll have each other. And ye can borrow mah phone if ye like.”

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6 Comments

Filed under Economy, Referendum

6 responses to “No more hi-tech for Scots if they choose independence

  1. Alec

    Perhaps Stuart Campbell could give us an Amiga.

    ~alec

  2. jay 2209

    The GERS report was a meaningless story. Western Countries have had to deal with variable income and expenditure since the dawn of time – they deal with it via public borrowing. Yes the UK pools resources but a drip in income doesn’t mean an independent Scotland would have to tax or cut by the amount of the drop.

  3. jay 2209

    Yours was good – humouros slant as always. Something missing from this whole yawn inducing debate.

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