Moan McVulpine: Sick of listening to empty assertions

MOAN says the only way marriages can guarantee fidelity is for wives to have eyes in the back of their heads when Moan’s around.
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By Moan McVulpinetaking the fidelity out of infidelity

IF YOU leave out the “in” word, most people in Scotland back infidelity.

By that I mean a majority want the power of a faithful marriage, even if folk like me still find the concept meaningless.

I want power over faithful wives so that never again do I have to commission photos as a proxy payment for my erstwhile gigolos.

I want power over auld Granny Salmond so that “special time” becomes “all the time”.

I want everything these naively faithful wives have – security, a loving environment, someone to pay their speeding fines.

But no one wants to share that with me. Not even my own husband!

I want control of the Firstminster to protect me from myself.

I want control of all the MSPs around me at Whollyrude.

I want control of pensions so that if Granny Salmond gets out of hand I can threaten her where it hurts – her purse.

Virtually no one in Scotland or the Scottish parliament trusts me – I don’t know why.

I’m doing this for my country – for the greater love of my people.

To condemn me is to condemn Scotland. Don’t these anti-Scots get that?

Some whisper there is a need to protect wives from what is happening within a 100 metre radius of me.

In an independent Scotland no marriage will be safe. Why should it be?

Marriage has stuttered and stammered for the past 300 years. And it’s a Union, like a political Union I know, which has outlived its purpose.

Haven’t my past actions proved that?

You know how to vote come September.

Vote (in)fidelity.

COMEDY RELIEF

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5 Comments

Filed under Moan McVulpine, Treachery

5 responses to “Moan McVulpine: Sick of listening to empty assertions

  1. jay 2209

    Hey love the blog. Are you doing one on Rosanna Cunningham who bans Cyber(Nat) bullying the same day as being guilty of some shocking use of twitter herself. It’s all in terms of the debate I guess.

    • Thankyou Jay

      Here’s one I did earlier on Roseanna. http://wp.me/p2for3-B9

      Regards

      • jay 2209

        Ah so Ms Cunningham has form. Some very amateurish behaviour from some of the people who covet the reigns of power in Scotland. Stewart Hosies Gimp gate, various ministers liking Wings Over Scotland. Not something that fills you with confidence in the leaders of an independent Skintland

    • Alec

      I did one on Cunningham plus the stupid and unpleasant Stuart Campbell.

      hurryupharry.org/2014/03/06/you-and-whose-army/

      ~alec

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