WE* used to worry about reds under the bed. Then it was Nats watching your flats. Now kids are to be the eyes and ears of the state. AhDinnaeKen investigates the latest Nationalist intrusion into everyday Scots lives:
By Kreepy Asphuck-Stasi
CHILDREN ARE set to become the eyes and ears of the Nationalist party today.
Parents found to be out of line with the expectations of their country can expect their kids to shop them in to the authorities.
Get It Right F**kin Upye’s Clansmen (GIRFUC) was voted through by the Wee Stasi Cooncil at Whollyrude yesterday.
Both the nanny Labouring party and the centralising Nationalists embraced the population control measures.
One Nat could not contain his glee at the potential for keeping uppity parents in their place.
He said: “This is a fantastic protection for children. If we find out, for example, that a parent has a hankering for Unionism or Devolution-Max or Federalism or voting Tory then that obviously leaves the child vulnerable to imperialistic subjugating oppression.
“This could damage the child for the rest of their lives and no responsible government could tolerate that.
“We will immediately remove the child from the danger and place them in the hands of one of our protective correction centres.
“And we can keep them until they’re 21. Result!”
The only opposition to the socially just legislation were the usual crackpots, nutjobs and lunatics – the Tory party.
They even had the impudence to suggest that the bill may be in breach of the European Convention on Human Rights
Dizzy Lizzy Smith of the tenaciously terrible Tories said: “This will tip the balance of family responsibility away from parents towards the state – something most Nationalists find completely acceptable.”