THE SCOTTISH social attitudes survey revealed yesterday what virtually everyone – apart from Scotland’s Braveheart Commandos – already knows: Most people in Scotland couldnae gie a toss about independence – and both campaigns are boring, turgid and don’t touch yer average Jock’s life in any meaningful way whatsoever. AhDinnaeKen investigates:
By Koodnae Geeyaphuck
SCOTS WOULD vote for independence for the price of an X-Box One and a copy of Grand Theft Auto Five it was revealed yesterday.
Sixty two per cent of the population think the Yes and No campaigns are of no relevance to their lives whatsoever.
And, if anything, core support for independence has fallen.
Professor John Poultice of Scratchcard University articulated the general attitude of Scotland:
He said: “Forget inclusiveness. Forget doing things better here. Forget social justice. And forget London Tory rule.
“What the Scot are really saying to the Nationalist is ‘Show me the money’.
“If Firstminster Salmond can find an inexpensive supply of X-Boxes and Grand Theft Auto V then independence could be in the bag.
“What a parcel of cheapskates in a nation.”