What a parcel of cheapskates in a nation

THE SCOTTISH social attitudes survey revealed yesterday what virtually everyone – apart from Scotland’s Braveheart Commandos – already knows: Most people in Scotland couldnae gie a toss about independence – and both campaigns are boring, turgid and don’t touch yer average Jock’s life in any meaningful way whatsoever. AhDinnaeKen investigates:

"Five hunner poun'". Nae bother said the big wee man yesterday.

“Five hunner poun'”. Nae bother said the big wee man yesterday.

By Koodnae Geeyaphuck

SCOTS WOULD vote for independence for the price of an X-Box One and a copy of Grand Theft Auto Five it was revealed yesterday.

Sixty two per cent of the population think the Yes and No campaigns are of no relevance to their lives whatsoever.

And, if anything, core support for independence has fallen.

Professor John Poultice of Scratchcard University articulated the general attitude of Scotland:

He said: “Forget inclusiveness. Forget doing things better here. Forget social justice. And forget London Tory rule.

“What the Scot are really saying to the Nationalist is ‘Show me the money’.

“If Firstminster Salmond can find an inexpensive supply of X-Boxes and Grand Theft Auto V then independence could be in the bag.

“What a parcel of cheapskates in a nation.”



Filed under Referendum, Uncategorized

2 responses to “What a parcel of cheapskates in a nation

  1. Stuart

    Good to see the ‘Reverend’ stu in top form on this one….

    “The methodology is simple. If it takes £500 to get 63% of people saying Yes, how much does it take to get to 51% and win the vote? There’s a 17-point gap between the Yes figures at £0 and £500, but we only need 5% to get from the lower figure over the winning line, so clearly it’s 5/17ths of £500, which works out at £147.06 a year each.
    That sum – 40p a day, or £2.82 a week – is what Scots tell us stands between them and voting for independence. It wouldn’t buy a decent sandwich in most supermarkets. Multiplied across the entire electorate of four million voters, it comes to a little smidgen over £588 million a year. An independent Scotland would save at least £800m a year on its defence budget alone
    However, if merely assured that they’d be neither better nor worse off that they are now, the No vote narrowly came out on top, by (again excluding DKs) 54 to 46. An obvious question therefore presented itself: just how big a bribe do Scots need to take responsibility for their own country?”
    Well if Whinge over Scotland’ wants to start a raffle or tombola, maybe some lucky person will actually win Scotland as the prize!

    • Thankyou Stuart

      He’s a man of many talents indeed and I salute his indefatigability.

      Perhaps he should be renamed the McGonagall of Economics. And long may that continue.

      We* need the laugh, if nothing else.


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