Nationalist Injustice minister declares war on the young and the poor

AN independent Scotland will be the land of milk and honey unless you’re a Ned or underage. AhDinnaeKen investigates the latest figures which show that Scottish Police stopped and searched four times more individuals than the ‘institutionally racist’ Metropolitan Police:

"The only foes that threaten Scotland are the enemies at home, and these are accountability, scrutiny and wee neddy basturts." - Kenny MacNaeskill

“The only foes that threaten Scotland are the enemies at home, and these are accountability, scrutiny and wee neddy basturts.” – Kenny MacNaeskill

By Phuckem Oll

AN INDEPENDENT Scotland will not be like a police state – unless you’re young, poor or a fitba fan – claimed Injustice Minster Kenny MacNaeskill yesterday.

The street tramping law reformer is already well on his way to ensuring Scotland has the most draconian stop and search figures in Western Europe.

And the Injustice Minster says that the record figures of stopping and searching young poor people – four times higher than in basturt England – is only the beginning.

He said: “These record figures have been achieved under Devolution.

“With independence we will be able to stop, search and arrest anyone we see fit with impunity.”

MacNaeskill says that the move is all part of his ‘Four year plan‘ aimed at shaping the type of freedom loving society required by Nationalists.

Police are eagerly anticipating the scrapping of corroboration in order to increase the extra coercive power already gained through centralisation of the force.

After independence, Police Scotland expect to further their search criteria.

So far, under devolution, searches are restricted to young poor Neds – predominantly for knives, booze, fags and drugs.

With independence they expect to extend the categories.

Big Police Chief Commander, Stephen Inda-Hoose, said: “In future we will stop and search people suspected of possession of ginger hair, the wrong attitude, luggy bottles, soggy chips, Anti-Scots literature, fitba flags, song lyrics and looking at our officers the wrang way.

“We do things differently here and we’re looking forward to antagonising and locking up as many wee neddy basturts as differently as we can.

“They don’t vote anyway, so what do we or our political masters care?”

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3 Comments

Filed under Law, Newspeak

3 responses to “Nationalist Injustice minister declares war on the young and the poor

  1. Stuart

    It was a link on the yes-Scotland website purportedly to a debate between Alex Salmond and George Galloway, I should have realised it was a hoax, as after the gubbing of poor old Angus Robertson on Question Time, there is no way the sleekit one would ever dare step into the ring with Galloway.

    I was amused to see though that Alex Salmond was scheduled to appear on question time in Wales, I wonder using Angus Robertson’s yardstick, how many political representatives the SNP have in Wales?

    Keep up the good work!

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