Moan McVulpine: Voting yes can boost MSPs standards of strife

MOAN spoke to a family in Fife about the Scottish Government’s plans for independence and reckons that the door being slammed in her face was a positive indicator of the public’s reaction to the Neverendum so far.

Moan McVulpine Banner

By Moan McVulpineLabouring hard to sound like Labour

THEY’RE A friendly bunch of folk in Kelty.

It’s part of the Cowdenbeath constituency, facing an unwelcome invasion of faux-sincere politicos on the make.

I was heartened by my visit last Thursday – I’m still breathing and still in possession of all my limbs.

Despite the cold and dark undercurrent, Natalie McGarry managed to keep up the pretence of saccharin sweetness. Good on her.

One conveniently fictional couple wanted to know about Skintland’s Future – although the fictional woman was more concerned about what I wanted to do with her tastily fictional husband.

But I digress – I’ve had enough of Newton Stewart divorce courts recently to last a cheesy blog time.

He said he normally voted Labour but would love Scotland to vote for ffrreeddoomm™. He said he would prefer to be run by an Edinburgh elite on the make as opposed to a Westminster elite on the make.

I assured him that on page 1314 of The 670 Commandments (Scotland’s Future) that’s exactly what independence would deliver.

An independent Scottish parliament would be no different from Westminster in that regard.

Ministerial, business and civil service roles would all still be disproportionately rewarded for failure. It’s all in the declaration of page 1320 of the Nationalist manifesto (Scotland’s Future).

Plus, I further reassured him, we would implement policies post-indpendence which we could do something about now. Y’know, childcare, Bedroom tax, centralisation of key institutions etc.

Scotland’s Future proposes to help MSPs who help themselves.

There are countless families in Skintland like the fictional one I met in Kelty. They all want a starring role in ‘The Scheme’ or ‘Benefits Street’.

They have a choice this year. Fifteen minutes of fame followed by crushing disappointment or fifteen minutes of fame followed by crushing disappointment.

That’s the future facing Scotland after a Yes or a No vote.

Ye cannae say fairer than that.

COMEDY RELIEF

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2 Comments

Filed under Moan McVulpine, Referendum

2 responses to “Moan McVulpine: Voting yes can boost MSPs standards of strife

  1. Dear Longshanker

    A door slammed in the face of Joan of Moan?

    I was active in the SNP and I can say with certainty that I never saw her attend any by-election I was at.

    She was a member of the Maryhill & Springburn branch, never present a single meeting I attended.

    Done no work days for the branch as part of the branch membership.

    She isn’t a politician and it shows.

    Yours sincerely

    George Laird
    The Campaign for Human Rights at Glasgow University

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