Moan McVulpine: Happy New Year? Aye, right!

MOAN reckons we can all look forward to an acrimonious future as voter indifference to the ‘positivity’ of the Nationalists sours and becomes bitter.
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By Moan McVulpinecivic progressiveness and aw that jazz

WHEREVER YOU are, however you vote – unless you’re Tory or Unionist or an English basturt – I’d like to wish you a very happy new year.

We’ve rung out the old non-event of 2013. We’ve rung in the new and, still, the SNP’s Yes campaign has made no discernible movement toward a Yes vote.

I’ve vowed to be selective. It’s an easy New Year resolution ahead of the stubbornly resistant polls.

The taxpayer paid for independence plan, Skintland’s Utopian Future – like so many santa based wish lists – offers many many reasons to be cheerful: Not least that the SNP didnae pay for it’s 670 pages.

Number one positive motive to vote yes is, for me, Assertions not Action.

Families will gain free childcare, but only if they vote yes. Vote naw and the weans will get hee haw – despite us having the power to do something about it now.

Skintland’s Utopian Future, aka the White Paper, holds parents to ransom by telling them they’ll get naebudy to look after wee Jimmy or Jenny unless they vote Yes.

It’s a cynical attempt at ‘positive’ blackmail which appears to be backfiring as I write this.

But we’re sticking to the line that we can only provide childcare under independence.

As has been shown in other areas such as the Bedroom Tax, the Nationalists have no imagination or will to use the devolved power they already have – they just want to bleat about Westminster, aka the basturt English, aw the time.

It’s their raison d’être and it’s as tiresome as listening to the Tories telling us austerity is the only way, or Labour saying they can protect us from the Tories.

As for the Liberals, well, listening to anything they have to say is just painful.

Nae wonder a third of teenagers want to commit suicide. Suicide is painless, whereas, listening to politicians and their empty promises is like suffering from the toothache with an open mouth on a freezing cold windy day.

So, ask yourself, with one of the most vicious Tory governments in living memory in place, with nothing but a bleak future of more austerity and misery to look forward to, why is it that the Nationalists are making no discernible headway in the debate?

It’s not hard to work out.

Like the rest of the political class, nobody really believes them. Their blend of assertion, wish list fantasy, action, inaction, posturing, cynicism, scaremongering and political opportunism makes them look and sound like the rest, albeit with a different flag draped roon’ their shooders.

Happy New year?

Aye, right!

COMEDY RELIEF

 

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