Moan McVulpine: Don’t put Independence on that plastic card

Moan says Skints are being pressurised into voting Yes so that they can feel morally superior and emancipated from the evil British empire.
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By Moan McVulpinePlacing chips on shoulders, one chip at a time

THE PROPAGANDA says: “THE only vote you’ll ever need”.

Do they mean the Nationalist customised one, spluttering and splattering its way through the Valley of Unionist Media Lies?

Err, no… The “vote” referred to in the blurb is an oil funded land of milk and honey Yes vote.

It promises to help “make your self-determination dreams come true”. If you believe that, you will probably stay up late on September 18, hoping to spot a flying SuperSalmond.

Referendum dreams often turn nightmarish when your fairy Godmother is a slithering Nationalist snake oil huckster.

The IFS’s Crippled by Fiscal Reality feature yesterday revealed one in four Scots don’t care what the cost of a Yes vote would be.

One in one will start 19 Sep 2014 in the red because they put an X in the Yes box.

The Skinttish Government campaign, The 1228 Days of Neverendum, offers advice aimed at exploiting the vulnerable, the stupid, the xenophobic and the hopelessly romantic into voting for a land of corporate hegemony and severe spending cuts.

Victims descend into a black hole of communal fiscal debt. But they will be soothed by the knowledge that at least it’s fellow Scots who are imposing the misery on them, as opposed to the basturt English.

The campaign website http://www.dontbeafeartiejustsayyes.com encourages us to believe Independence will mean whatever we want it to mean.

Those who turn to Nationalism have often come a cropper with Unionists first.

Before the recession hit in 2008, you couldn’t find a person, other than hard core William Wallace and Robert De Brus types, who gave a sh*t about Independence.

Then the bubble of property based credit fuelled delusion burst. And that gave us Nationalists the real chance to exploit our agenda of grievance, paranoia and common enemies. And to promise a spending splurge which would bankrupt Norway.

Tear-jerking Nationalist propaganda links “voting Yes” ie thinking for yourself and not being a Stockholm syndromed Unionist stooge feartie, with how much we love swastika free saltires and the ‘superhero’ status of our dearest corporate backscratching leader.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t blame Unionists and don’t knowers for living under a rock trembling in fear at the idea of Scottish Nationalist emancipation in oor great wee country. They have good reason.

Joan McArthyalpine will be well rewarded for her numerous ‘services’ to the Firstminster. Anti-Scots Finder General will be her remit and she can sniff out anti-Scots types at 400 paces.

The ‘Did You vote Yes at the Neverendum’ test is already being shaped and formulated from her Dumfries & Galloway fiefdom.

And, in an emancipated Skintland, she will be given free reign and carte blanche to do as she wilt. Scarey stuff indeed!

Still, with her £53,000 plus salary and £20,000 plus expenses, Joanie knows what it’s like to be living hand to foot, dreading the next wind turbine taxed energy bill.

So remember kids, just vote Yes. It will be awright on the night.

It’s whit comes efter that’s the worry.

COMEDY RELIEF

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