Let the common people get shafted. That was the message sent to the big energy companies from Scottish Energyminster Fergus Spewing yesterday. Have the SNP really thrown off the Tartan Tory moniker? AhDinnaeKen investigates:
By Wintarov Diskintent
SCOTTISH ENERGYMINSTER Fungus Spewing has condemned struggling Scots and businesses to decades of parasitic energy taxes.
In parliament he said that the energy cartels should continue with their carte blanche overcharging of consumers and businesses alike.
Chastising the leader of the Labouring party, Red Millibean, he said: “Trying to reduce consumer prices and small business operating costs is akin to communism and will have no place in a corporate friendly independent Scotland.
“We have our subsidised wind turbine Salmond led vanity project to consider here.
“How dare Millibean suggest that standing up to the UK energy cartel will achieve less misery for millions. Of course it will. And that’s why we urnae fir daein’ anything aboot it.”
Mr Spewing also attacked a Westminster government analysis which concluded that more than two million businesses would benefit from lower electricity and gas prices.
He further claimed that it was typical of a Westminster government to publish such a balanced analysis:
“In an independent Scotland we will have the power to ignore such well balanced nonsense.” he said.
“We will prove to the corporate monopolies, cartels and tax evaders that an independent Scotland will be open for business.”
But opponents of the Tartan Tory corporate backscratchers counter-claimed that the SNP were siding with price fixing cartels against the good of the people.
Commy pinko bolshevik anti-capitalist Labourer, Iain Jiggety Gray said: “No matter how you look at this, the SNP are siding with bloodsucking companies inflicting harm on ordinary Scots every day of their lives.
“If our Westminster masters get back into power we will conveniently forget about this argument.”