Moan McVulpine: I’ll spread my bed for the Salmondwich generation

Moan says she feels for those who are having to ‘support’ their friend’s husband, as well as their ageing Firstminster, due to the state of their political career.

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By Moan McVulpineFrom twosome to threesome to twosome again

NOT MANY people reading this today are members of the Salmondwich generation.

It’s nothing to do with civicness or patriotic aspirations. You have little time for empathy or sympathy if you are Generation Salmondwich.

Salmondwichers are those who simultaneously court cheesey bloggers and ‘big beast’ Firstminster’s. I’m lucky – my squeezes often ‘supported’ me more than the other way round. Ooer missus!

If it hadn’t been for cheesey smear merchants spreading poison about fellow politicos over the years, I’d probably not be writing this, let alone be appearing in a local divorce court.

But ‘supporting’ can also mean other ‘adult’ things. Adultery means that people other than the main protagonists can suffer disproportionately from the betrayal and hurt caused: sons, daughters, mothers, fathers, friends, work colleagues etc.

It can have a devastatingly emotional impact on the closest of the innocent injured party’s. Not to mention the high profile public humiliation visited upon the unwittingingly trusting – through no fault of their own.

But who cares about others when you’re simultaneously furthering your own political career while attacking your perceived enemies. Right?

And that’s Moan’s philosophy. If it’s for the good of the flag, the country, the nation, then f**k all of her fellow countrymen/women getting in the way of her Nationalist aspirations.

It’s the big ‘N’ Nationalist way – talk civic, act self-interest.

But of course, Moanie’s alleged out of wedlock affairs would never have occurred if it hadn’t been for basturt Westminster anyway.

If Skintland was free of the yoke of English imperialist oppression, then there would have been no need for these extra-marital shenaningans to have occurred in the first place.

So, as has become the tedious recurring theme of Moanie’s newspaper polemics, it’s all Westminster’s fault.

We* do get that, don’t we*?

COMEDY RELIEF         EXECUTIVE RELIEF

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Filed under Moan McVulpine, Morality

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