Exclusive: Holyrood to be sold back to Scottish and Newcastle for £500,000

Scottish Government in turmoil. Leaked Westminster document shows that a post-Indy No vote will result in Holyrood being sold back to previous owners due to UK Treasury rules. AhDinnaeKen investigates:

Will Heineken be allowed to purchase their old land back at a knockdown price? We* think we* should be told.

Spoof story alert. Yet somehow more credible than Labour or the SNP’s stance on the GARL story.

By Inra Munny

THE SCOTTISH Parliament and associated land will be sold back to previous owners Scottish and Newcastle for £500,000 if Scotland rejects independence, it has been revealed.

Scottish and Newcastle, now Heineken UK Ltd, have evoked a little known Treasury clause which will force the Scottish Government to sell the land back to the popular brewer in the event of a No vote.

The clause, which states that the Holyrood parliament must deliver ‘best value’ to the ‘sovereign’ Scots, has “clearly been breached” according to a Heineken spokesperson.

It is believed that the Parliamentary building could be demolished in order to make way for Heineken’s proposed new UK headquarters.

The compulsory sell back order was written into the original purchase documents in 1999 and signed off by First Minister Donald Dewar – in accordance with Treasury rules which were rubber stamped by the Scottish Constitutional Convention.

Sold to the Scottish Executive for £4.5 million in preparation for the building of the new parliament, the sell back order was only ever intended to cover the building period.

A spokesperson for Heineken UK said: “What has been forgotten since 1999 is that we have always had this right to buy the land back.

“If the current government does not deliver on independence, we are confident we will be able to invoke the clause.

“Scottish and Universal’s Abbey Brewery has had a historical link to the Holyrood site since, at least, the inception of the McEwan’s laughing cavalier symbol.

“We intend to capitalise on the laughing cavalier. The time is right to return to the spiritual heartland of our most famous icon.”

A spokesman for the Scottish Government said: “While it appears there was a legal oversight following First Minister Dewar’s untimely death, we expect Heineken UK Ltd to come to a suitable agreement.”

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4 Comments

Filed under Referendum

4 responses to “Exclusive: Holyrood to be sold back to Scottish and Newcastle for £500,000

  1. allanwils

    The Eyesore wouldn’t be missed

  2. A disaster from inception to present…

  3. The Jannie

    They should receive a grant to help with the removal of the monstrosity – no, not Fat Eck, the building!

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