Royal Salmond gives birth to baby lie

“It’s a lie!” the sovereign people of a socially just Skintland cried oot at the latest publication to be given birth to by the ‘economically levered’ one.

"Integrity gives birth to ideas. Nationalism gives birth to lies and mythology." - Longshanker.

“Integrity gives birth to ideas. Nationalism gives birth to lies and mythology.” – Longshanker.

By Itza Whopper

SUN KING Salmond will give birth to another ‘visionary’ and ‘oily’ publication today.

It will challenge pessimistic projections about the increased production of ‘fibs’ by both sides of the independence debate.

In comments ahead of the birth of the publication the Firstminster vowed to match “fib for fib” every single oil production fib produced by Project Feartie.

Tricky Dicky Salmond said: “Westminster Government’s fib, was revealed by Denis Healer recently. My fib was exposed by that Ba**rd Andrew Kneel of the British Brainwashing Corporation.

“My fibs are for the good of the country, their fibs urnae, and I’ll no show ye the legal advice to prove it.”

Former Chancer Denis Healer recently claimed that Salmond’s fibs were “up there with the worst of them”.

He said: “Like any politician worth his oil (salt) Salmond can lie like the big boys.

“The birth of this latest ‘fib’ is to be celebrated as a triumph of the modern Skintish Nationalist Party – cynical, opportunist and completely contemptible.

“He would fit right in with the Tory Labour Party you know. He really would.”

Firstminster Salmond recently claimed that no lie would remain unexplored if it helped his case for separation.

He added: “Over half the value of my lies has been spent since they were so cruelly exposed by the colonising forces of the BBC.

“The idea that it will stop me from lieing for my flag, my people and my country is ridiculous.

“When it comes to lies and fibbing – you aint seen nothing yet. There’s plenty more in the tank!”

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