That Wiz the Week that Wiznae #4

A sharp lesson in basic blogging for AhDinnaeKen this week – a lesson which might result in less posts due to increased time taken in preparation and the possible disappearance of the site altogether. Ho hum! They may take my time, they may take my money, but they’ll never take my ffrreeddoomm™!!

"Whollyrude is geared toward teenage idiocy." - Sam Shepherd.

“Whollyrude is geared toward teenage idiocy.” – Longshanker.

By Longshanker

Monday June 10: Roary Bremner discovers that in pre-Neverendum Skintland ‘we do humour differently here’.

Roary concluded that the Skintish plasticine parliament is foo' o' tumshies and cabbages.

Roary concluded that the Skintish plasticine parliament is foo’ o’ tumshies and cabbages.

COMIC SATIRIST Roary Bremner tells the Daily Ranger that most Skint voters can name six vegetables but only two MSPs.

AhDinnaeKen asks, how do you tell the difference?

The comedian also noted that the usual rules of comedy satire engagement don’t appear to apply in planet Skintland either.

Make a joke about a politician in England or rUK, it’s taken as fair game. Make a joke about a SNP politician in Skintland and ‘yer talkin’ yer country doon’.

Most telling for the Nats is the perception that, as Bremner’s later documentary mostly proved, the Neverendum is generally viewed as a one man band vanity project, even within the confines of Edinborrow’s population itself.

Sun King Salmond may be the most recognised and recognisable politician in Skintland, but the rest of his MSPs and entourage barely register with anything more than the strength of a silent fart on the richter scale.

Ho hum Roary! Tell us something we don’t know already – farty pants.

Summed Up: As the viewing of the later TV programme revealed, Roary Bremner can find comedy gold anywhere, but it was distinctly lean fare that emerged fae his visit tae the Athens o’ the North for the Edinborrow born comedian.

Tuesday June 11: Pension Union mooted by Sturgeon for ‘Independence within the United Kingdom’ remit.

Johann Lamont asks the SNP to point out the guy whose job Sturgeon is now doing.

Johann Lamont asks the SNP to point out the guy whose job Sturgeon is now doing.

AhdinnaeKen goes into Gerry Hussar mode over the announcement that a post independence Skintland will share administration of pensions, DWP payments etc with the basturt English.

Despite it being perceived as a confession that pensions will likely fail  under independent conditions, AhDinnaeKen’s concern lies wi’ the tumshie in charge o’ breaking the news and fielding the inevitable mockery – Deputy Miss Leader Sturgeon.

It seems that there is no beginning of endings to her talents. Not only is she entrusted with Piggy Eyed Patsy Alex Kneel’s Infrastructure remit, she’s also in charge of governmental strategy and constitutional issues, pantsonfire fighting and now, following the Independence within the UK pension declaration, has to deal with John Swindley’s Financial backstabbing remit also.

Phew! Whenever the guys mess up, ye kin trust the women tae take care o’ business. Or can ye?

Summed Up: There’s a proverb aboot eggs and baskets and whit you shid dae with they eggs. Sun King Salmond should beware. Following the latest pensions pronouncement and consequent shaky defence, Deputy Miss Leader Sturgeon is looking increasingly like an overstacked basket case.

Wednesday June 12: Legal issues and profitless blogs – a warning

The new look AhDinnaeKen. If we* can afford to stay open.

The new look AhDinnaeKen. If we* can afford to stay open.

AhDinnaeKen gets hit with a behind the scenes claim which, depending on the outcome may see us have to close AhdinnaeKen’s pages forever. It’s oor ain fawt and pairt o’ the reason for the negligence is to do with a dangerous combination of idiocy and ignorance.

We* immediately Dealt with one part of the request but seek verification for others. We*’d like to keep the blog going, but if it has to close, ho hum, we*’ll start another more compliant but just as cheeky site.

Summed up: The person who contacted us is entirely correct and we only hope that a sense of fairness will prevail after a few other details are ironed oot.

Thursday June 13: “My God! You’re more dangerous than I thought!” BBC Question Time.

Narrow ethnic Nationalist  gets a sharp lesson in broadcasting from a professional British Brainwasher.

Narrow ethnic Nationalist gets a sharp lesson in broadcasting from a professional British Brainwasher.

Allegedly objective journalist, Lesley Pibroch, shows her true colours when narrow Nationalist chip on shooderdom shows its ugly face on the British Brainwashing Corporation’s Question Time.

Furst strike nuclear umbrella SNP attack poodle, Angus Robberson, claims a lack of “parity” on the show. He chides the BBC for its imbalance claiming that in a fully ‘levered’ Skintland, Nationalists would not be “mucked around” in such a fashion. Ooer!

Dimblebot put Robberson in his place, slapping him doon like a petulant wean who huz tae wait his turn at the tuckshop queue – reminding him sharply that poncey politicians do not set the agenda of the imperialistic and biased BBC.

Gorgeous George Galloway chipped in with a suitably sanctimonious, and substantially correct indefatigably democratic point of principle that “all of us have the right to speak” no matter oor nationality.

Pibroch overrode the Gorgeous one claiming that that “was not the point”, the UKIPPERs had only achieved 0.28 percent support in Skintland and therefore had no right to be on a Skintish based Question Time.

AhdinnaaeKen asked, ‘Who the f**k are these people?’ Making Gorgeous George sound like the voice of reason; FFS, get a grip Lesley.

Later, Nigel Farago hit the nail squarely on the heid. Sitting beside Pibroch, following her tirade in support of Robberson’s censorious assertions, he said:  “My God. You’re more dangerous than I thought.”

Summed Up: Question Time is a national television programme, not a narrow ethnically defined Nationalist television programme. Long may that continue.

Friday June 14: Kenny Gibbon – Still Game fir a laff

Some Nationalists need to get a sense of perspective implant. Ye couldnae make this stuff up.

Some Nationalists need to get a sense of perspective implant. Ye couldnae make this stuff up.

Winston fae ‘Still Game’ soundalike, vegetable and MSP, Kenny Gibbon, tries tae grab a piece o’ the grievance, paranoia and chip on the shooder Question Time action – tae show how much o’ ah full on patriotic ethno-Nationalist he well and truly isnae.

Sitting on the kludgie, he passes the following motion:

“That the Plasticine Parliament notes with glee BBC Question Time’s approach to Skintland; that in its occasional forays into Skintland, the programme should try and forget that Skintish Neverendum style grievance confirmation politics bores English, Welsh, Northern Irish and Skintish viewers to death. That having the Greengoes and Lib-Bents on board would make the programme eminently more worthy and about as entertaining as a yummy mummy going on and on about her little baby’s bowel movements.”

His motion, recorded in the Skintish Nationalist Party website, reads like the meanderings of a blind and deaf aspergers sufferer with learning difficulties – minus the clarity and insight.

Summed Up: As the real Winston fae Still Game might say tae his MSP vegetable Winston soundalike: “Get it right up ye – arsehole!”

Saturday June 15: Celtic brotherhood? Think again Skintland

O wad some Pow'r the giftie gie us. To see oursels as ithers see us!

O wad some Pow’r the giftie gie us.
To see oursels as ithers see us!

An insightful Irish Times piece, written by Paul Gillespie, gives a sharp reminder of the potential rUK/Irish repercussions after a break up of these sceptered isles.

A telling second last paragraph considers some of the logical follow on consequences of a struggling rUK coming to terms with its new Skintlandless identity: unification of Northern and Southern Ireland would be put on the agenda, England would be more likely to go it alone by ditching Wales and Northern Ireland and the whole of the region would become that little bit more unstable resulting in who knows what.

The piece implies that the Irish Republic could be the dog snapping at the Skints heels in order to attract inward investment and the elephant in the room would always be an injured England seeking ways to reassert its severely damaged sense of identity and purpose – a dangerous period for any heavily militarised country.

Summed Up: As the McCrone report clearly states: It’s difficult to imagine an England without access to oil revenues ending up in ‘dire financial straits’. Would you really want to force that on them when the world stands on the brink of a deadly Middle Eastern war?

Sunday June 16: It’s not really a Sunday story, but Ho Hum, it made us laugh 🙂

TWTWTW 16 Jun 05 Euan Wanker Name

Euan McColm evokes a multitude of reactions from the Twitterati and newspaper reading publics alike – not all of them good.

He can always be relied upon to say something outrageously funny, insightful or morally reprehensible – quite often all three.

As we* saw this on Sunday, we decided to stick it here.

Summed Up: We* love shameless self-publicist talk.

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